Sunlight and the Cold
Cold.
I squinted up at the sun and yet my smile faltered. The heavy mist of fog veiled the sun, giving the impression that I was looking through gauze. What should have been the blue sky was an unnatural white haze. Even the golden rays from the sun were bleached. I frowned.
Nothing could ruin a perfectly good sunny day like the cold. It was like when it rains and it's sunny; not that anything like that ever happens in Forks. The two so different kinds of weather should never mix. I peeled my eyes away from searching the sky for even a hint of blue and looked once more at the pale sun. I sighed and decided I should be happy that I was getting that much at all.
And then I frowned again. What was the point of having this half-good day? It wasn't sunny enough to make me giddy with soaking in the sun, but just enough that I was promised a miserable day at school.
Edward wouldn't be there. He'd probably go hunting since he rarely does as it is. Which means I would be driving alone to school. I shrugged. At least I would get to drive for once.
I closed the window against the chill and went through my morning routine. Charlie was gone already as I dragged my feet down the stairs to get some kind of breakfast. But I almost tripped down the last stair when I realized my kitchen wasn't empty.
Edward sat in a chair with a lop-sided smile gracing his lips. I felt the grin stretch across my face as I stumbled down the last couple of steps and into his open arms.
"Good morning," he said pleasantly. "How did you sleep?"
"Fine," I said, more cheerfully than I had been a few seconds ago. I glanced at the window and looked back into Edward's eyes with some confusion written on my face. "I thought you'd be hunting…?" Wasn't it too sunny?
Edward smirked. "I will be, but no reason to rush. I'll have all day to do so." His fingers trailed across my cheek and neck as he swept back strands of my hair, leaving cold trails on my skin that burned. "Why? Would you like me to leave?" he asked uncertainly, his smirk faltering.
"No! I just was confused because I wasn't sure if it was actually sunny enough or not…." I trailed off, frowning at the still hazy weather outside. My hopes plummeted again.
Edward watched my expression, even as I reluctantly got up to grab a granola bar. I'd eat that at school; I was starting to run late. He stood and wrapped his arms around my waist and looked into my eyes. "Tell me what you are thinking," he murmured, dazzling me on purpose.
I shrugged and waved a hand carelessly at the window, gesturing at the weather. "It's too cold for the sun to be out, and it's too sunny for you to come to school with me. That is possibly the worst combination for weather that there ever was." I frowned once again at the white sky.
Edward smirked. "You don't think tornadoes and hurricanes are worse?"
I rolled my eyes. "Ok, for normal, every-day weather," I clarified.
Edward looked outside, seemingly studying the sky and comparing it to my words. "So, what you are saying is, something so warm as the sun should never be mixed with the cold." His eyes gazed into mine as he began his carefully phrased words, and he ran his fingertips down my cheek again when he came to the word 'cold'. At first I didn't catch the significance until I read the pain he was attempting to hide in his eyes. Then it clicked.
"Oh, no, that's not what I mean at all!" I gasped, slightly mortified that he had even thought to take it that way. "You're nothing like the cold, Edward!" Edward snorted and turned his head to roll his eyes at the wall. I put my hand to his stone-like cheek and turned his face back so that he was looking at me again. "You aren't," I stressed, my eyes wide, searching for something in his eyes that would let me know that he understood that.
"You aren't," I repeated, trying to find the right way to explain my scrambled thoughts. "The cold doesn't make my heart race, or leave me feeling warmer than I did before. It doesn't hold me or make me feel safe. It doesn't love me like you do." I blushed, not usually having said as much before.
His features were frozen. I think he stopped breathing all together. The hurt expression seemed to have changed to one of being stunned. I backpedaled, blushing more as I tried to lighten the atmosphere. "And I'm nothing like the sun," I scoffed, looking off to the side. I opened my mouth to continue when he interrupted in a low voice.
"You're wrong."
I turned to look back up at him, closing my mouth but still achieving a look of pure surprise. He continued, wanting to clarify what he meant by that and end my confusion.
His face softened and he smiled slightly. "You are like the sun." Edward's hand brushed affectionately across my burning cheeks. "You're warm; you are my warmth. You are my light. Without you, my world is plunged into darkness. You're a source of life, in fact, you are my reason to live."
My mouth had dropped open sometime during his speech. And I had once again forgotten how to breathe. Sensing my problem, he immediately tried to lighten up the conversation as I had. "In the loose sense of the word 'live' I suppose."
I exhaled the breath I was holding and attempted to scowl at him. "That's not funny," I muttered, annoyed that he had ruined a perfectly wonderful speech with a vampire pun. Edward looked about ready to laugh at how determined I was at keeping a glare set firmly on my face, which made it all the more difficult to actually maintain it. I finally lost the battle and half-smiled at him while Edward chuckled at how quickly I had given up. He bent down and kissed the tip of my nose.
"So although I am technically a few degrees colder than outside, you really do not mind how cold I am when you hate how cold it is out there?" Edward clarified, sounding amused now by my weird preferences.
"Well, you don't have wind-chill," I smirked, causing him to roll his eyes.
Then I noticed what time the clock indicated on the wall. "Shoot! I'm going to be late!"
Edward frowned slightly. "I didn't drive here today, and even if I did drive your truck for you, I wouldn't be able to make it go any faster." I ignored the blatant reference to how slow he thought my truck was. I turned to grab my bag as he joked, "Just tell them you were caught in traffic."
"Haha, very funny," I replied, turning back to him. He smiled and lowered his lips to mine.
"Have a good day," he said, while my heart tried to restart itself. He shook his head, laughing inwardly as he tugged me out the door and guided me to my truck. I was still slightly dazed.
"Maybe I should drive," he suggested, analyzing my dazzled state. That suggestion made me snap out of it.
"I'm fine. Have fun," I smiled at him as I reached over to close the door. He smirked and dipped his head in acknowledgement. Then he took off into the forest in a blur so that I would stop staring at him and go to school.
I pulled out the driveway and miraculously made it to school as the first bell rang. As I hastily got out of my truck, I glanced back up at the sky and smiled a little. Maybe the cold wasn't all that bad after all.
