~*Sorry this is so short guys! I was on a homestay in Japan for a month so I didn't have much time to write so everything I have for Laven week will be fairly short. I hope you enjoy!*~
You know you're in love when every passing second is a question. What are they thinking? What are they doing? Are they smiling? Its always something like that it seems. It's nice when they are there to answer your questions and put your busy mind to rest, but sometimes it isn't that easy.
Relationships are all about being close. Close emotionally, mentally, and in varying degrees of physical proximity. Sometimes I feel like I'm close, but other times he seems too far away to feel my love even though his hair is tangled in my fingers. No matter how much I tell myself he's home he never really is, always living in some other country doing God knows what. While I'm home he's off seeing the world, spending time with his one true love, the one I stole him from.
Lavi has always been adventurous. When I first met him it was hard to tie him down long enough to even go to class. The stories of all the places in the world during our studies didn't do anything to numb the wanderlust I knew he felt with every passing second.
Somewhere along the line we started dating and even my presence couldn't keep him down. Despite taking a backseat to his plans I couldn't tear myself away from the redhead. I spent more nights alone in our home than I did with him in my arms, but strangely enough that was okay with me. Even though I would prefer to hold him in my arms I couldn't possibly take him away from where he belonged. This was home, but he didn't want to chase the streetlights back to me just yet. If all I could do is leave the light on then that's all I'd ever do, just so he knows that I'm still here waiting.
Every morning though is a race to the mailbox or a mad dive for every phone that even dares to ring in my presence. Every letter and call were always supposed to be from him, but more often than not they weren't. On the other side of the world I knew he loved me, but his love for the world shone brighter than I could ever even attempt to. I often got lost in the dark and some days he wouldn't find me, but how could he with his head in the clouds? I never blamed him because in some country with a name I couldn't pronounce I knew he was smiling, that alone was enough to encourage me to seek out the light.
More than once I was advised to just move on and stop waiting for someone that could never stay home for longer than a week before leaving again for a few months. It was difficult and there were many days I nearly broke up with him over the phone, but something stopped me every time. It was a realization that I didn't even know I had understood all along.
No matter what happened, I was completely obsessed with waiting for Lavi to come back to me. At first I thought the only obsession present in our relationship was Lavi's infatuation with everywhere but home though that proves to not be the case. If anything, mine was even worse. I had given up trying to keep him with me but the feeling of waiting for him became important to me. That feeling alone proved to me on those lonely nights or the days where I hid my tears in my sleeves that I'd still love Lavi even with thousands of miles between us.
Somewhere else I know he's thinking of me and that's enough for now. He'll come home again soon, that's all that matters in the end.
