Hey!
Here's a random humor one-shot I wrote. :) I hope you guys like it! :) Thanks to my semi-beta-reader (I'm gonna make that his official title, lol...) for helping me out a lot on this. And often suggesting I work on it. ;) :P
Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon - it belongs to Natsume.
Enjoy!
The rhythm of the waves crashing onto the shore… the light summer breeze… seagulls gliding by. It was a perfect, peaceful place. Gill Hamilton sat in the sand, a notebook balanced on his knees. A pen lay in the palm of his relaxed hand, and he gazed out over the ocean. The day was so lovely, surely nothing could ruin it. He sighed in contentment, wind ruffling his blond hair.
And then it all fell apart. With the arrival of one, tall, loud, lumbering lumberjack. His footsteps could be heard even on the sand, and the long shadow he cast betrayed his identity to the young man sitting on the beach, the tails of a bandana clearly visible on the shadow's head.
Gill gritted his teeth as an enthusiastic voice called out, "Heya Gilligan, what's up?!"
"For the last time, that's not my name!" He responded crankily, and the carpenter's son came into view.
Luke. The bane of his existence. The stupidest, biggest loudmouth Castanet had ever seen. Perhaps not, but to the son of the mayor, he was and always would be. He and his insistence that everything must be extreme. He couldn't even order a stupid table from the carpenter without that moron trying to make it extreme! It was ridiculous.
"Fine, fine," Luke chuckled and dropped into the sand beside him. "What are you doing?"
Gill immediately snapped his notebook shut, glaring at the young man that dared to destroy his perfect, tranquil atmosphere. "None of your business."
But the curious carpenter was not to be deterred. "But I wanna knooooow…" He whined pitifully. Narrowing his eyes at the object being carefully clutched by his friend, he raised an eyebrow. "A notebook? Are you drawing or somethin'?"
"No, don't be ridiculous," Gill snorted. As if he would be drawing, please. He'd leave the drawing to Julius and his many fashion designs.
"Well then what are you doing?" Luke's curiosity would not be sated, and he crossed his arms huffily. "Tell me."
"No." Such a demand would not be tolerated by the mayor's stubborn son, and he stood, hugging the notebook to his chest. "Now leave me alone." And with that, he turned and strolled back in the direction of his house.
"Aww, come on, Gill!" Luke whined as he followed behind, begging and pleading. Gill clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes, attempting to ignore the annoying pest. But, alas, the burly (and significantly taller) man was determined to find out. He suddenly ceased his onslaught of imploring and tiptoed quietly behind Gill.
The blond craned his head around to see if Luke was still following, but the latter darted around the corner of the inn, hiding. Satisfied, Gill continued on his merry way, and then Luke went into action.
Running, he caught up to Gill, and before he could even react, snatched the notebook from his hands and bolted, cackling evilly.
"LUKE!" Gill howled angrily, face turning red at the thought of the blabbermouthed young man reading the contents of his treasured book.
"I'M NOT GIVING IT BACK UNTIL I SEE WHAT EVIL SPELLS YOU ARE CREATING INSIDE, YOU WIZARD!" Luke guffawed and ran up onto the roof of the vacant house in the town, opening the notebook.
"I'm not a wizard, Luke, and for heaven's sake, I can't write spells! Y'know there's a real wizard in town, if you like magic so much go bother him!" The preppy young man grimaced at the climb the carpenter had made to get onto the roof, and settled for standing by the house, glaring upwards.
"I will not return this notebook until I have uncovered your deep and dark secrets," Luke stated matter-of-factly, nose buried in the notebook.
Gill scowled, trying to think of a way to get his beloved book back.
"Hey, is this a fairytale or somethin'?" Luke's deep and rough voice floated down to Gill's ears, causing them to go pink. Oh, great, he's reading it…
"N-No!" He denied pathetically.
"Then what is it? Sure looks like one to me." Luke's tone held a hint of awe as his eyes scanned the pages. "Did you write this?"
"Of course not, don't be ridiculous," Gill lied.
"Oh." The young man on the roof sounded disappointed. "But then why does it say 'By Gill Hamilton'?"
"It doesn't say that!"
"Um, yes it does."
"I'm surprised you can even read!"
"'Course I can! I went to school. Besides, you have to read to be a carpenter, silly." Luke's tone was very matter-of-fact, and Gill snorted.
"Could have fooled me."
Silence answered him from the rooftop, and he shifted uncomfortably. Maybe he should have made the character's name changes a little less obvious…
"Hey, this troll's name is Lucas!" A smiling, tanned face peeked over the edge of the roof, grinning. "That's kinda like my name!"
"What a coincidence," Gill droned.
"Yup! That's pretty cool!" And then the face disappeared again, presumably to read the novel that Gill had been writing for a season and a half.
Gill was growing impatient. He just wanted his notebook back so he could go home, drink some tomato juice, and pretend this had never happened. "Hey, do I get that back?!" He called up.
"No way! I'm gonna go show this to Bo and Pops!" Luke's gleeful response was not well met. At all.
"No no NO! You are most certainly NOT!" Gill screeched, pounding a fist angrily on the wall of the building. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for the house, his weak punch did nothing at all to the happy yellow siding. "Ouch!"
"Whoa, are you okay down there?" Luke's face appeared over the edge again, only to be met with a scene that made him double over with laughter.
The normally cool, perfect, scholarly young man was hopping about like a fool, rubbing his knuckles tenderly and glaring daggers up at the roof. His styled blond hair was disheveled, and his light blue eyes blazed with anger.
"A-Are you okay d-down there?!" Luke managed between laughs.
"You just think it's funny because you'd have broken a hole in the wall!" Gill accused.
Luke shrugged sheepishly, "Hey, a man can't help his awesome strength and muscles. Especially when you use them all day every day like I do. Plus," he winked cheekily, "They don't hurt when it comes to the ladies. They like a man with muscle."
Gill sighed, rolling his eyes. "Of course they do."
"Yup. And that's why," Luke began sadly, "I'm afraid you just don't have much hope, Gilly ol' boy."
"Hey!" Gill shouted, "I do so! Maybe some ladies like a man that actually has an IQ over FORTY!"
"Hm," Luke shrugged, "If you have to tell yourself that."
Gill took a deep breath, attempting to regain a shred of dignity. "Would. You. Please. Just. Hand over the notebook?!"
Luke tapped his chin, "Hm… oh, alright. I guess I could… since you said please." And much to GIll's surprise, he dropped the book over the edge of the roof.
Catching the book carefully, smoothing its pages, Gill gritted his teeth. "Thank you," He said shortly.
"No problem, man. Later!" And with that loud farewell, Luke took off running, leaping nimbly off the roof and rolling out of his landing, running off toward the Garmon Mines District.
Huffing angrily, Gill ran a hand through his hair and turned down the street to go to his own house, intent on taking a shower.
Luke chuckled darkly, bouncing on his bed with a pencil in his hand, a notebook laying in front of him. "If Gill can do it, so can I!" He declared loudly, pumping the fist holding the writing utensil in the air.
"Luke, quiet back there!" Dale, his father, called out, "Bo's trying to wash the dishes, and you keep scaring him! He's broken two plates already!"
"Sorry Pops!" Luke hollered.
He looked down at the notebook, open to the first page, and held his pencil at the ready. "Alright, let's do this."
Once upon an EXTREME time, an EXTREME dude named Luko ruled over an EXTREME kingdom called Castanet Forest. He was the coolest, most awesome, most EXTREME king-guy EVER, and all the random weirdo people loved him.
There was Gilligan, the cranky old man that owned the library, constantly acting like he was better than everyone else and being all smarty-pants and stuff, and he hated the king's guts. But he was the only one. And the malov- sup- EXTREME king was super nice to him and stuff, being all buddy-buddy, but the old man didn't care.
Then there was the king's pop, Dallen. He was pretty awesome, too, but not as extreme as the king, of course. Nobody was. And the king's blond haired, freckled, most trusted servant, Bob, who cooked and cleaned for him happily, doing everything else he ever wanted or asked.
"Man, Bo should totally do that for me," Luke laughed and rubbed his hands together before nestling the pencil in his hand and continuing his tale.
And there were lots of other people. The rude and sarcastic chef Chaleb, his clumsy anti-assistant May, and the girl's bossy grandma Yogurt.
Luke laughed hysterically, "I-I'm naming Yolanda Yogurt!" He bounced on his bed and grinned wickedly, putting his pencil back to the paper.
One day, King Luko the EXTREME was riding his EXTREME horse through the EXTREME woods when he heard an EXTREME voice singing. He paused, listening. The voice sounded like a girl, and it was a beautiful voice.
And so he turned his mount to find the singer, but he could find no one. "Hello?" He called out in vain, but as soon as he spoke, the voice ceased.
"Oh well!" He shrugged and rode out of the woods. Who needed to figure out mysterious maiden-ish voices when you had an EXTREME kingdom to rule?! He had a very full schedule.
But the next day, as he was riding EXTREMELY through the EXTREME woods again, he heard the voice. And he froze, pulling on his horse's rain- reig- reins! (That's it…)
"Who is there?" He boomed in his EXTREME voice.
The singing stopped, and King Luko frowned, hearing something with his EXTREME ears. It was running!
The king turned his EXTREME horse around, giving chase to the noise. Luckily for the awesome dude, his EXTREME horse was EXTREMELY fast, much much faster than simple running.
He overtook the maiden, who was running through the forest as though her life depended on it. Too bad his horse was so EXTREME.
"Hey, where are you going?!" King Luko demanded, pulling his horse in front of her.
The maiden froze, looking scaredly up at him. Her chestnut brown hair fell in curls to her shoulders, and her big, brown eyes blinked slowly. "H-Home…" She whispered hoarsely.
King Luko chuckled to himself. His EXTREME and awesome kingly presence sometimes had this effect on people… especially maidens. Many a maiden had swooned over his awesome EXTREME kingliness. And his muscles. Those helped too.
"What's your name?" He asked.
"Dolly…" She trailed off shyly. Oh yes. She had noticed the king's EXTREME handsomeness. Of course. Everyone does, at one point or another.
And King Luko said, "Well, how about you come to my castle? We can eat. Eating is good." Yes, the king loved his food. What real EXTREME man doesn't?!
"Of course, I'd love to go with you, Your Majesty." Dolly agreed.
"Oh please," Luko waved a hand modestly, "Call me His EXTREMENESS."
Dolly nodded, and the king helped her onto his horse, where the two rode off and ate an enormous meal at his castle, filling their stomachs and just generally being happy and awesome.
Luke's writing was interrupted by a knock on his door, and he hollered, "Come in!"
The shy Bo opened the door, "Um, Dale says it's bedtime…"
"Bo! Just the man I wanted to see. Check it out!" Luke thrust the notebook at the startled teen, who raised an eyebrow.
"And what is that…?" He asked warily.
"My new book!" Luke announced proudly, a grin spreading across his features.
"Y-You wrote a book?!" Bo snorted disbelievingly, "Right."
"Aw, come on man, read it!" Luke waved the book around in the air, and Bo sighed.
"You're not leaving me alone until I do, are you?" He asked tiredly.
"Nope!"
"Fine…" With a groan, Bo sat down and accepted the book from his friend, opening it. He raised an eyebrow, "Extreme?"
"It gets even better!" Luke assured him excitedly.
Bo smiled a little at the young man's enthusiasm, nodding. "Alright then." He settled his gaze back on the book and continued reading.
"You named me Bob?!" He asked disbelievingly.
Luke crossed his thick arms, sulking. "Aw, you weren't supposed to be able to guess that…" He whined.
Bo shook his head, muttering about how the name Bob just didn't fit him, and continued reading. After he finished, he looked up, one eyebrow lifted.
"Dolly is Molly, isn't she?" He asked.
"Ugh…" Luke pouted even more and nodded, "Yeah…"
"Luke, you have her fawning all over you!" Bo said loudly.
"I know! Who wouldn't want a chick like Molly fawning all over them?!" Luke asked sullenly.
"Luke," Bo sighed tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose, "You know she isn't even remotely interested in you…"
"Bah." Luke kicked his feet up and relaxed on his bed, "She'll be interested in me someday, I know it. She just can't resist the Luke factor."
Bo nodded slowly, "Riiiight. Well, I'm off to bed." Bo stood and tossed the book at Luke, "Goodnight."
Luke sat up, "Did you like it?!"
Bo looked at his friend's pleading face, and smiled a little. "Yeah, Luke. It was really good." He lied.
"YESSS!" Luke whooped and leapt up, pumping a fist in the air. "I knew I co- ack!" He cried out as he landed on the floor unexpectedly, cutting off his sentence.
"Ahaha, good job there, Luke." Bo chuckled, lifting a hand in farewell, "Sleep tight."
Luke grumbled and climbed back up onto his bed, intent on sleeping as fast as he could so that he could show Gill his superior book.
Gill Hamilton sat at his desk, stretching his fingers. He'd finished his work for the morning, and now he could write a little on his novel. He smiled a little, setting the notebook in front of him. As he lifted his fountain pen, a rapid knocking on his door startled him and he dropped the writing instrument, spilling ink on the open page.
"Drat…" He muttered, glancing up at the living room. Groaning tiredly, he stood and left his bedroom, walking past the dining table and over to the front door. Gripping the knob in his right hand, he pulled it open and stopped short in horror.
"Luke?! What is the meaning of this?!" He glared at the carpenter that stood, grinning, on his doorstep.
"Take a look at THIS!" Luke shoved a blue notebook at the other man, who sighed.
"Really? And just what is this?" Gill asked, brow furrowing in annoyance.
"My book!" Luke announced proudly.
"HA!" Gill covered his mouth after his initial outburst, and cleared his throat, "Ahem. Your book, you say?"
"Yup! It's EXTREME!" Luke boasted, crossing his arms. "And much better than yours."
"Sure it is." Gill chuckled, shaking his head. As if anything written by this immature oaf could be better than his own writing.
"Yeah! Just read it and find out for yourself." Luke brushed past the mayor's son into his house, plopping onto a sofa. "So, go on!"
Gill rolled his eyes and strolled over to his dining table, sitting in a chair and opening the notebook. He raised an eyebrow, "Extreme, really?"
"Yeah! But keep going, that's only like the first sentence." Luke prodded, and GIll rolled his eyes.
He went back to reading, and soon his eyes widened. "What…?" His crystal blue orbs scanned the pages, and he looked indignantly at Luke, "Gilligan?!"
"HAHA, I thought you'd like him!" Luke shouted victoriously, "Remind you of anyone?"
Gill felt his blood begin to boil, and he snapped the notebook shut. "Get out, Luke."
"Aw, come on, you didn't even finish!"
"I read enough."
"Just finish it."
"No!"
"Finish!"
"Luke, I just sai-"
"I promise not to talk to you for a week if you finish it!" Luke pleaded, hands clasped together like a child's.
"Really?!" Gill couldn't help the joy from entering his tone, and Luke nodded.
"Yup, not a word." He pretended to zip his own lips, and Gill smirked.
"Well then, in that case…" He opened the notebook again and kept reading. As he neared the end, his nose wrinkled in disgust. "Is Dolly suppose to be Molly?"
"Man, why does EVERYONE keep guessing my names?!" Luke asked, upset.
"Um, it's kind of obvious," Gill pointed out, closing the notebook.
"Whatever…" Luke sulked. "Did you like it?!"
"Uh, yeah, sure." He lied, giving the book back.
"YEAH!" Luke pumped his fist in the air and leapt up with a whoop, "I KNEW IT! It's better than yours, admit it!"
"No, I will not." Gill stated, opening the door. "Now, goodbye for a week."
"Aww…" Luke frowned and walked to the door. "Ah well! See you around, Gilligan!" And with that, he trotted off into Harmonica Town.
Gill sighed, leaning against the closed door. Finally. That annoying guy would leave him alone. For an entire week. He grinned happily, running back to his bedroom. Maybe he could finally get some work done.
Two days after Gill had read Luke's story, he was sitting on the beach again, writing. A scuffling noise on the pier distracted him, and he looked up, squinting his eyes in the bright summer sun. A blue haired figure in a flaming bandana signaled wildly, waving his arms up and down.
Gill facepalmed and groaned tiredly. I guess he's not leaving me alone… Gill thought annoyedly. He looked at the carpenter again in an attempt to figure out what on earth the guy was trying to communicate.
Luke pointed at himself, then Gill, then opened and closed his mouth several times. Gill snorted, "He looks like an idiot. Well, more so than usual, anyway…"
Luke shook his head and brought two fingers up to his neck, drawing them across it slowly, then started the whole things over again.
Gill watched the process several more times, shaking his head. What.. oh brother. After about the fifth time, he figured it out. Groaning, he buried his head in his hands, wishing he could just fall into the warm sand and die.
Luke's message played in his head: I'm not talking to you!
There you are! Hope you liked it, and if you did, drop a review! :D If you didn't, please review and tell me why - but no flames please! And tips or criticisms, I'd appreciate them. :) I'm always growing. (Yes, I am aware Luke and Gill may each be a bit OOC here... ehehe...)
Have a lovely day!
~Swaggy-chan
