Having puppies.

By Todd fan

Disclaimer: "Okay, you're not a Witch, you're just an average student".

Okay, this is another one of my more...sureal fics. It is one of those i can only think of when i'm ill. Yeah..my brain works in mysterious ways when combating flu. This little jem popped up in my head as i sat curled up on the chair watching cartoons.

**********

"Night fever, night fever, i know how to do it!".

Fred winced as he passed the bathroom door of the Brotherhood boarding house. By the sounds of it, Pietro had a date tonight..again. He rolled his eyes and walked downstairs, not looking forward to Pietro telling them all how well his date went when he got home. As he passed the front door, he heard strange yelping sounds coming from outside. He blinked...had Wanda tossed Todd outside again?. He opened the door to see a small box. He picked it up and broguht it into the living room, where Todd was watching TV. The frog-like mutant raised an eyeborw as Fred deposited the box on the floor.

"What's in the box?", he asked, glancing over.

"Only one way to find out", said Freddy, opening the box to reveal three puppies, "oh".

Todd hopped over and grinned.

"Awww look'it the little puppy dogs", he said, waggling a finger at them, "heloooo. You're cute. Yes you are".

"Ya really starting to worry me man", said Fred, shaking his head, "ever since Wanda came to live here, you've become...sappy".

"That's because my heart moves ta the crazy beat'a looove", said Todd with a grin.

"See?. You never used to talk like that", said Fred, shaking his head, "it's sad".

Todd pulled his tounge out and picked up one of the puppies.

"I bet Cuddlebumps would really like to meet you", he said, "i'll go get her".

With that, he put the puppy down and hopped off to the kitchen. Wanda was attempting to make herself an ommlette. She was never very good with cooking....or any normaly rated 'female' work. She was currently picking up bits of egg shell from the pan when Todd hopped in.

"Oh Poopise, i got a surprise for ya", he said with a grin.

"I don't like surprises", muttered Wanda, "especially when you're involved".

"Yeah, you don't know what it could be", muttered Lance from his chair by the table, "the last 'suprise' nearly took the roof of the house off".

"That was an accident", said Todd, then turned back to Wanda, "you'll really love it".

"Curse my morbid sense of curiosity", she said with a sigh, "okay, what is it?".

Todd hopped into the living room followed by Wanda and Lance. He reached into the box and picked up a puppy.

"Ta da", he said, "'aint they cute?".

Wanda sighed and walkled over to the box. The puppies squrimed to the edge of the box, trying to get out.

"What the heck?", she said, a raised eyebrow.

"They're our babies Sugerplum!", said Todd happily.

Wanda backed off.

"Never EVER mention you, me and offspring in the same sentence", she said shaking her head.

"What are they doing here?", asked Lance, raising an eyebrow at the puppy squirming in Todd's grip.

It was at that point Pietro came dashing downstairs. He stopped dead when he saw the box.

"PUPPIES!", he shouted excitedly, reaching in and picking one up, "awwwww who's a cute little....girl?".

The puppy make a few yelping souds and started to chew on Pietro's chin.

"We can't keep these puppies", stated Lance, crossing his amrs, "we don't have room for them. We can barely feed ourselves, never mind three dogs. And what about...".

Lance didn't get to finish his sentance. Ebony, Wanda's feline familiar had trotted into the room. He took one look at the dogs and started to growl and hiss. He then gave Wanda a glare that could melt an iceberg, they way cats do when their owners have been near a dog, and slunk off.

"Okay...so they have to go", said Pietro with a sigh, "but i can't deal with it. I have a date".

"Whoopie do", said Wanda sarcastically, "let me guess, a cheerleader?".

"I dated all of them already", said Pietro, "no, she's works at the gut bomb. Her name is Sally and she's crazy about me".

"Crazy about you?", asked Wanda, raising an eyebrow, "excuse me, have you met Toad?".

She gestured to where Todd was still grinning at the puppies.

"An' i'll call you Wanda Jr, you Wandy and you Wanda..rina" he said, pointing to each puppy in turn.

"Okay..i don't think anyone can be THAT bad", said Pietro with a laugh, "lets face it..Toad's just a freak case".



"What was i saying?", Pietro asked himself, later on that night.

He was sitting in the movies with Sally hugging him as if she let him go, he'd desintergrate.

"And you're so sweet and cute", she carried on, "even paying for the movie".

"Yeah", said Pietro with a nervous chuckle, "hey..you think you could loosen your grip a little?".

"Whatever you say Snowflake", said Sally, letting go of Pietro, yet still holding onto his hand.

Pietro winced. What would Wanda do in this situation? He blinked.

"Did i just ask myself that?", he said, shaking his head.

"What did you say Petey Pie?", asked Sally, fluttering her eyelashes.

"I said..it was a nice moive. Oh look, it's ended. Time to go home", said Pietro, standing up, finding Sally still attached to his arm.

"Okay", said Sally with a giggle, "where do we go now?".

"I..think i'll take you home", said Pietro.

"But the night is still young my blue eyed beau", said Sally, "we could go..somewhere".

"Look", said Pietro, running his free hand through his hair, he'd done this a thousand times before, he knew exactly what to say, "you're a nice girl but, you know, i think were in two very different places. But i'll give you a call sometime, 'kay?".

Those were NOT the words Sally wanted to hear. She frowned and took a tighter grip on Pietro.

"No!", she said, "you're MY boyfriend!. Let's meet my folks huh?".

"Sally..i really don't think you understand what i'm saying here", wailed Pietro, tugging at his arm desprately, to no avail.

"We'll go to the dance hall and then we'll go and get a promise ring", lamented Sally, pulling Pietro along.

Pietro looked at his trapped arm and contemplated knawing it off. He wimpered as Sally tugged him towards the registry office.

"Oh never mind the ring, lets get married right now", sshe said with a giggle.

"Help", said Pietro weakly.

Suddenly, Sally was hit to the side with a hex-bolt. Freeing Pietro. He glanced up to see his sister.

"Wanda?", he said, wide-eyed, "thank you thank you thank you!".

He ran over and hugged her. Wanda grimaced and pushed him off.

"Idiot", she said.

"How..how did you know what would happen to me?", he asked, blinking.

"Lets just say i have extensive experience of obessive affection", said Wanda, rolling her eyes, "come on, lets get out of here before she comes to".



A while later, things at the 'hood house had died down. The rest of the Brotherhood had found Pietro's story hilaraious.

"Man, i wish i could have seen your face", said Lance, laughing and slapping his knee.

"Yeah, i would have payed good money to see that", said Fred.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up", said Pietro, crossing his arms, "it's not like you two had perfect relationships, is it? Anyway, where'd the mutts go?".

"They went ta the pullmans across the street", said Todd, "they said they could use the sense of security livin' so close ta this house".

"Thank God", said Wanda with a sigh, "darn mangy things".

Pietro gave a sudden shudder.

"Man, i'm going to have flashbacks of this night for months", he said sadly, "she scared me".

"Ya know Babycakes, if i ever got that bad and you wanted me gone, i would just go", said Todd, putting an arm around Wanda's shoulder, "all ya'd have ta do is say".

"Go. Get out. Leave", said Wanda.

"Yep, all you'd have ta do is say the word, an' i'd be gone", carried on Todd, "no questions asked".

"Please go, don't come back", said Wanda, with a sigh.

"If ya love somethin' sometimes ya have ta let it go", said Todd.

Wanda groaned and walked off upstairs.

"I'm so glad our relationship is better than that Sweetums", said Todd.

He was answered by the slamming of a door.

"Yeah, she loves me", said Todd with a goofy smile.





I heartly appologise for that. No doubt when i'm better, i'll look at this and wonder what the heck i was thinking. Just humor me for now.