Hello. This is my second attempt at a story. My first attempt was what most people usually do, having some super-powered OC character come in and train Naruto. I've realized that is a newbie mistake as the story can quickly become uninteresting. So this story will be different. It won't follow the manga very closely. Though some events will still come into play, as for what they are... well that is my little secret. There will be eventual gore, lemons, sadness, violence, graphic language, limes, and overall perverseness. I am a big pervert; ask my girlfriend she'll tell you. Though just between us, she isn't really a saint herself *perverted giggle*. On to the story! ~


Story

"Talking"

Text 'paraphrasing/quoting' text

'Thinking... I heart bewbs he-he.'

"Demon/summoning speak!"

'Demon/summoning thoughts... we heart bewbs too.'

Disclaimer: I own only the OC characters in this story. The rest of it got my lawyers executed in an attempt to gain ownership.


The aged Hokage looked out over the city of Konoha from atop his tower. Standing steady as the winds of the storm over head caused the trees to bend and groan from the force. Despite his age, the Hokage seemed unaffected by the powerful winds. His mind working feverishly as his eyes combed the city, searching for something, anything that would hint to a sign of the child. He had already deployed ANBU to find the golden haired child, but even as they bounded from rooftop to rooftop, turned over trashcans in alleys, or reached out with their chakra to find the young one, no one seemed capable of finding the boy. He wasn't at the orphanage as he should have been, yet then again, the orphanage had said he 'ran away for no reason' months ago. The Hokage sighed in frustration at the memory, he knew they must have kicked him out or chased him off whenever the former-ANBU keeping watch over him 'dozed off'. He instantly had the man demoted to low jounin rank and banned from missions for a few weeks at hearing this.

As much as he would have loved to level the orphanage with all its employees inside it, he didn't have any evidence against them and there were still children living there that needed a home since he couldn't force families to adopt them. Suddenly he saw it just after one of the ANBU leaped from the forest floor. A small head full of golden blond hair slowly stuck out from under the stump of a large tree. From the looks of the hole the child was barely large enough to fit inside. The Hokage let out a sigh of relief as he vanished from where he stood atop his tower.

Naruto nervously looked around, hoping no one had noticed him. He had been playing in the forest and minding his own business when the storm came. The wind was too strong for his frail body to be in so he quickly took shelter inside a small hole at the base of a tree. It was warm here and there weren't any animals or bugs inside it luckily. He pressed himself away from the entrance as he saw them, the men with no faces. They were leaping around and looking for something, Naruto had seen them only a few times around the village, he didn't like them. They hid themselves at all times and could come from seemingly nowhere. On a few rare occasions Naruto had seen them take people away, never to be seen again. Naruto didn't want to end up like that, taken by the 'no-faces' to where you would never see anyone again.

Naruto didn't really have any friends or anyone willing to be around him, it seemed like they always had somewhere to go since every time he showed up, they would leave, even if he had watched them for hours and try to join them, they would always leave as if they couldn't see him. Now, the 'no-faces' were searching everywhere for something or someone. Naruto was still scared from almost being found earlier. He had frozen as he heard one land near his hiding area; it walked around from what he could hear and then left. Despite the wind, and cold air, Naruto was looking around to make sure it was really gone. It slowly began to rain, and hard. It was painful to be in so Naruto ran as quickly as he could back to his hiding area, but he was cut off by something in red and white. Naruto looked up and was relieved at seeing the old man who often came to see him, hugging around the old man's leg, happy to see someone he could actually trust.

Sarutobi smiled as Naruto hugged his leg, he frequently visited Naruto to check on him and make sure he was okay, though he convinced the council it was just to check up on Naruto's seal. He wrapped Naruto up in his arms as he looked at the child no older than 5 years. As Naruto made himself comfortable enough to doze off to sleep in the Third's arms, he took them to his office, pressing a button for his secretary.

"Have the ANBU discontinue their search for Naruto. I have him with me now."

"Hai Hokage-sama. I will do so immediately"

The Hokage looked down at Naruto before looking across the room to a small black haired boy curled up and asleep in one of the chairs. He didn't mean to leave him alone for so long but he had the boy's toys brought along to the office just in case he got bored. The young boy wasn't any older than Naruto and he had a smile on his face as he mumbled in his sleep, clutching a stuffed dinosaur to his chest with a rubber toy shuriken in one of his hands. He looked around the office noticing the boy had used his wooden building blocks to make a stand for his toy elephant on the floor near a wall. From the several toy shuriken behind the stand and the elephant on the ground he mused the boy must have been playing ninja, while pretending to be his older brother or father. Sarutobi set Naruto in a separate chair and put a blanket over both children before sitting at his desk and looking at the adoption papers, signed by a 'Uchiha Itachi' at the bottom. Sarutobi smiled at thinking of Naruto finally having a family and Sasuke having a boy his own age to play, with the old Hokage decided to simply watch over the children while waiting for Itachi to finish his mission.

'I hope all goes well Itachi, once this is done, these two will need you, especially your brother. At least the rain and thunder will wash away the blood and drown out the screams.'

.........

Itachi sighed stepping out of his home. He had just done the unthinkable, even though he had known this day would come soon, he still wished they would've chosen a different path. Looking around slowly he nodded to himself that his fire jutsu had done a good job of disposing of the bodies, he didn't need anyone getting their hands on random sharingan eyes. To everyone else, this night would mark a surprise attack by Orochimaru, they had even gone to lengths to make sure Anko would have several alibis in the rare case someone decided to try and place blame on her for aiding the despised snake sannin.

The Hokage had made sure that Itachi would still be allowed to stay inside the village and help raise and mentor his younger brother Sasuke. He had even decided to adopt Naruto Uzumaki in order to give the poor boy a home and a family that he deserved. He would have done it much sooner, but he wouldn't dare bring him here with his corrupted clan. Now was the perfect time, he could help him train along with Sasuke and hopefully the two would accept each other. Itachi shook his head as he focused back on the world around him. He vanished quickly from sight as he made his way to the Hokage tower. He had seen the occasional ANBU in the distance earlier but luckily the Uchiha grounds were far away from the rest of the town, especially the residential area. He knew the Hokage must have had them looking for Naruto, but by the time he had finished in the first house, they were gone and it was raining. As he reappeared in the Hokage's office silently, he nodded to the elder man, silently letting him know that he had completed his mission. Looking to the two sleeping boys in the office he let a smile come to his face.

'Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha, my brothers and now my only family. I hope your new brother will help ease your suffering at the loss of your family Sasuke.'

Itachi slowly sat down on the floor and leaned against the Hokage's desk, he was tired, very tired. He had spent a lot of chakra handling his clan. They didn't really put up a fight, most of them just accepted they had been caught and resigned themselves to death. Still, having to use fire jutsu on the bodies and making sure no evidence was left behind put a heavy dent in his reserves, not to mention the emotional strain he was under after such an event. Looking at the boys sleeping across from him, his eyes eventually became too heavy for him to keep open any longer.

The Hokage just shook his head at everything. Something like this should have never happened. Not only did this lessen Konoha's military strength but it brought one of their most powerful bloodlines to near extinction. He wouldn't bother Itachi with an official report on it since he knew Itachi must have been tired. The Hokage would have to send Itachi off early in the morning to find those proficient enough to replace the Konoha Military Police Force, since the current employees were all dead. Sarutobi would've just hired from inside the village but Itachi assured him that he already had someone in mind to do the job so long as Sarutobi was willing to trust his judgment. The Hokage knew Itachi wouldn't bring just one man, even if that is how he made it sound, to replace the many dozens of Uchiha that made the original force. He would trust him and hope Itachi was right, like he always seemed to be. He smiled as he looked to the two boys as Itachi did, he was glad Naruto would finally have a real home, and Sasuke would have someone closer to his age to play with, especially since Itachi was in ANBU now, he would have very little time for Sasuke.

'Maybe he will finally be treated as the Hero he should have been treated as his whole life.'

He blinked as he suddenly heard three separate snores in the room, sweat dropping at the fact that he was left with the task of keeping watch over them during the night. He dreaded the paper work that would surely hit his office door in the morning, the Hokage picked up a bit as a thought hit him. Sarutobi glanced around in all directions before slowly withdrawing a small orange book from his robes, opening it and reading from a seemingly random page, his cheeks slowly reddening and an occasional giggle escaping his mouth.

'Oh-ho, Jiraiya stay away as long as you need to, so long as your 'research' isn't interrupted and you can make another volume soon.'

.........

At this thought several miles away a precariously placed bush sneezed in an onsen filled with young women, resulting in the 'bush' being beaten into the ground and tossed over a wall by several naked and furious women.

'Kami why me?! Surely no one else has to endure anything as bad as these tortuous beatings.'

.........

Meanwhile, somewhere in the land of rice, it was a silver haired teenager with glasses' turn to sneeze.

"EW, KABUTO don't sneeze on me, you are defeating the purpose!"

"Hai Orochimaru-sama. Gomen, it was sudden." Kabuto said with a slight sigh.

"Well, SCRUB HARDER. That sponge isn't going to clean me itself you know! Having skin this pale makes dirt show easily, so I'D BETTER BE FUCKING SPOTLESS! And not just in the areas people can see easily. EVERY INCH! UNDERSTAND?"

Kabuto silently nodded as he followed his master's commands, even as he internally wept at his current chore. How he wished he could be sent back to Konoha soon. At least when he was being Orochimaru's ears and eyes inside the village, he didn't have to wash him or look at him naked. Yet here he was, scrubbing in circular motions over his Master's body because something urgent' had been brought to his attention, apparently the 'urgent' ordeal that had come up was Orochimaru had killed one of Jiraiya's spies and in the process had covered himself in the man's blood.


Well, that is chapter 1 Ladies and Gentlemen. Let me know what you think thus far. Like it, hate it? If you have questions I will answer them so long as they don't reveal too much about the story. Until next time folks! ~ *sneakily pulls out an orange book before vanishing in a puff of smoke*