Anyway this is just a little one-shot of Alex's thoughts after Paige kind of rejected her in Lexicon of Love. And also, I don't own anything from Degrassi.
I'm finally giving up on you. I'll continue to like you because seriously, how can I just stop. I'm just giving up on the fact that you like me back. Of course, there will always be this small part of me who wishes and still wants you to, but stupid little things hurt just too much. When you think someone likes you back, only to find out the truth it just crushes you, your heart and your spirits. I guess that's how you made me feel. This sucks because you also sometimes make me feel so europhic. I just want to cry right now, pour my heart out but what's the point? Why cry for something I never had.
So yea that's it. I'm going to forget everything about you, all those small moments we had which just floats around my mind when you're not around. There use to be a time I loved remembering every detail of the time we spent together. Remember that time when we were working and you had some pieces of popcorn in your hair. I couldn't help but smile, and you being Paige just wanted to find out what was so funny. You were frustrated which made it all the more funny. I miss you. But basically I'm just going to erase all the memories I have because right now my heart can't handle it. Going cold turkey is what I need right now, to get over you.
The way you act towards me, I guess I just got confused. You're just an affectionate person by nature. The way you act towards me is like the way you act towards your friends, like Hazel. But sometimes you have this way of making me feel so special. Like I actually meant something… Like I actually meant something to you...
Maybe we can still be friends because I need you in my life. It might take time but we just might be able to return to how we were. So right now, having been crushed by you a few minutes earlier, I'm just sitting here, next to Jay, thinking of ways we can work though this because simply, I don't want to completely lose you, regardless of what I say.
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My first fic, do you like it? Yes? No? A little bit too much angst, or not enough? Please review so I would know. Because first time posting a fic is kind of scary…
