The alarm on the bedside table began to beep but Jane was already awake, staring at the clock.
Today was the day.
She'd laid awake for most of the night with her hand resting on her stomach, thinking about what she was planning to do in the morning. She reached out and turned off the alarm then rolled over onto her back and sat up in bed, hugging her knees.
An hour later, she was showered, dressed and sitting on the sofa waiting for the taxi to take her to the hospital. On the coffee table in front of her was a leather overnight bag. When she made the appointment, they had told her to bring pyjamas and toiletries, but she didn't plan to stay overnight. Jane wanted to be back at work by the afternoon. As she sat thinking about what she was on her way to do, she felt sick. She wasn't sure if it was anxiety or just morning sickness. She had been thinking about the decision since she rang Doctor Gordon from her office to arrange the termination. She was 43 years old and this was probably her only chance to have a child. All she had ever wanted since she joined the police at seventeen was to work her way towards leading a murder investigation. She had never been interested in having a family, and every relationship had always come second to her ambitions. But now she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore. Would she really be able to go home to Thomas the Tank Engine and Goodnight Teddy after spending the day cooped up in a small room listening to how killers committed their crimes? There was no way she could work the long hours she was used to, and be a single parent, but she knew she would never see Jake again. He had gone back to his wife before she even knew she was pregnant.
The front door buzzed to let her know the taxi was here. She took a deep breath then silently picked up her bag and coat and walked out.
When the taxi pulled up outside the hospital, Jane payed the driver and tried her best to give a cheery smile. She walked through the automatic doors into the reception and up to the desk where the receptionist instructed her to sit and wait until called. She sat down on a row of plastic chairs near the door and put her bag down on the floor next to her feet.
It was now or never.
She couldn't seriously be thinking about having a baby, she had just been promoted to Superintendent, that was more than enough to deal with right now. She didn't even like children. When she visited her sister in hospital after she had her niece, she only stayed for 10 mins and made excuses not to hold the baby. She knew what she was doing was the right thing to do, but she couldn't quite push the doubts to the back of her mind. She knew that she would probably never get the chance to have a baby again. She was an independent, strong woman. If she could fight her way up the career ladder, then she could easily be a parent.
It was then that she made the decision that would change her life: Jane stood up, picked up her bag and strode out on to the street.
She was going to be a mother.
