Hi! This idea literally came to me while I was watching A New Hope, and I thought it would be hilarious if the Mauraders went to see it. And no, this is not a part of the DBZ/HP series.
"Do we have to, Lily?" James whined as he stood next to her in the line to the ticket booth. Lily rolled her eyes as she glanced at the other whining was simply standing there with his hands in his pockets, while Sirius looked bored out of his mind. Peter didn't look like he knew what to do. They were standing in a line at a movie theater in London. Above the theater, the glowing words STAR WARS gleamed in the lights.
"Yes, James. My friend Clarissa told me that this movie is amazing, so I want to see it. I think you guys will like it." Lily smirked. She had brought this to them last week, and had already gone over the rules of movie edicatte with them beforehand. No yelling, no talking, no goofing around. Sirius had gotten those lessons the hard way.
"How's this any different than that Star Trek stuff you showed us a while ago?" Lily shushed James fast.
"There is a big difference!" she hissed. She almost cried in relief as they reached the ticket counter. Sirius grinned as he whistled at the woman working the booth. Lily groaned.
"Five for Star Wars." Lily said. The young woman nodded.
"Thirty pounds." She said. Lily nodded as she pulled out her purse and pulled out the money and handed it to the woman. The woman handed five tickets to Lily.
"Great movie. Theater six. Third on your right. Movie starts in twenty minutes." She remarked. Lily smiled as they walked into the theater.
"Okay. I'm giving you twenty pounds, Remus. Go get us some Coke and popcorn. Show your ticket to get in." Remus nodded as he walked toward the snack counter.
"Rest of you! Do not play at the arcade. Go to the bathroom, because you're not running out in the middle of the movie!" Lily ordered. It took about five minutes to get prepared for the movie. Once everyone was done, Lily led them through the ticket gate and into the theater.
"This is it?" James frowned in curiosity as they stepped inside.
"Okay, I see five seats in the center. Come on." Lily led the guys to the seat, and rolled her eyes in annoyance as they sat down.
"These are nice." James frowned in curiosity while Sirius rubbed the sides.
"Plush!" he grinned.
"So… how does this work?" James asked in curiosity. Lily rolled her eyes.
"We sit here and wait for the movie to begin." She answered. Peter squirmed as he sat in his seat. Ten minutes later, Remus finally showed up, with his hands full of popcorn and drinks.
"What took you so long? That line wasn;t long!" Lily hissed as Remus struggled to step through to their seat. Remus groaned as he slumped into the seat between Sirius and Peter.
"This stuff is hard to carry!" he grunted. Sirius hissed.
"Hey! Pass the goods!" he said. Remus groaned as he handed the beverages out. James frowned in curiosity at the popcorn, and then popped one into his mouth. A look of surprise went across his face.
"Wow! This stuff tastes good!" James grinned.
"Yeah!" Sirius grinned as he stuffed a fistful into his mouth. Lily slapped the back of his head.
"Make that stuff last, because I'm not going to refill it." She snarled. Sirius gulped. Then, the lights dimmed in the theater.
"What's happening?" Jame asked. Lily elbowed him.
"Shhhhh! It's starting!" she hissed. Then, an image came onto the screen of a man talking to a woman, causing James and Sirius to yelp, while Peter stared with wide eyes.
"What's happening?" James asked.
"It's a trailer for another movie! Be quiet!" Lily snarled. James shut up quickly as the other trailers went by. After a few trailers, the screen went black .Then, several lines came onto the screen.
"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…" James frowned.
"Neat!" Remus grinned. Then, music blared as the words STAR WARS flashed onto the screen. Then, the words slid up as the music continued.
"This is cool!" Sirius grinned as the story continued. Lily narrowed her eyes as she watched. This movie was pretty neat. Once the crawl had finished. The screen swiveled down, to stop above an orange planet. Then, a ship shot across the screen, shooting green bolts. A minute, a large ship slowly crawled onto the screen. Lily watched in wonder as the space bettle continued.
"Wow, that thing is big." Remus commented. Then, the back of the small ship exploded. The scene then cut to C-Threepio and R2-D2.
"What are those things? That guy's gold!" James whispered. Lily hissed.
"He's a robot!" she snarled. Then, they were silent as the movie continued. It was fascinating, in Lily's opinion. You could feel the suspense as the ship was docked at the rebels waited. Then, the doors exploded, and a heated battle took place as men in white outfits rushed through.
"This is awesome!" Sirius grinned as the battle continued. Then, the scene cut back to the entrance. Lily watched as a figure clad in black stepped through. Her eyes widened in curiosity. She had never seen anyone like this. He was clad in black armor, with a cape, and he was wearing the strangest mask. He made a strange breathing nose as he looked around. Lily actually shivered. She could hear Peter whimper, and Sirius had wide eyes. Remus watched in curiosity.
"Lily! It's a death eater!" James hissed. Lily elbowed him.
"No, it's not!" she hissed in frustration. Then, they continued to watch. James and Sirius grinned as a young woman appeared on the screen.
"Now that girl is hot!" Sirius grinned. Lily balled her fists. Then, Vader appeared o the screen again, choking a man. Lily was actually surprised by the man's voice. They watched as the droids escaped, and as Vader confronted the princess.
"Darth Vader, huh? Neat name." James whispered. Lily rolled her eyes. Later, they watched the droids trek across the desert. Lily couldn't help giggling as she listened to C-Threepio complain. She liked R2-D2 too.
"Those things are funny." James commented as they watched the Jawas.
"They seem more like goblins to me. Peddling urchins." Remus added, getting snickers from the guys. Lily rolled her eyes as they continued watching. Then, Lily watched as a young man stepped out of the dome house. She actually thought that guy was kinda cute.
"Now that guy is cute." Lily smirked, causing James to whirl towards her. She winked at him. They continued watching as the droids escaped, Luke went after them, finally, an old man appeared on the screen.
"Hey, that guy remind you of anyone?" Sirius grinned. James grinned while Lily rolled her eyes. It was obvious that Sirius was talking about Dumbledore.
"Obi-Wan, that's a weird name." Remus frowned.
"Not the worse I've heard." Sirius grinned. Then, they watched as Obi Wan led Luke to his house.
"The Force? That's a stupid name." Sirius chuckled.
"Anyone else creeped out by his comment of the Force penetrating us?" James winked at Lily, who elbowed him.
"Don't even think about it." She snarled. Then, they watched as Obi-Wan pulled out a silver object and handed it to Luke. Lily watched with wide eyes as a blue blade shot out of the hilt.
"Wow!" She said softly.
"Cool!" Sirius grinned.
"Kinda like a wand." James smirked as they watched luke swing it around.
"A lightsaber. A weapon of the Jedi Knight, not as clumsy and random as a blaster." Obi-Wan said.
"Hah. Kinda like a wand vs a gun." Lily rolled her eyes at James's comment. Then, they watched as the scene changed to space, as the Star Destroyer from before, flying into a gigantic space station. Lily stared in surprise. That was a space station?
"That's big." Remus commented.
"Understatement of the year." James said. The scene changed to a bunch of men arguing around a table. Lily rolled her eyes. Politics, what do you expect? The interesting scene was when Vader walked in with Tarkin, and someone was stupid enough to insult him. The man was cut off as he reached at his throat. Vader held his hand out in a pinching grip, causing the man to gasp and choke. Lily gaped. Vader was strangling him, without even touching him.
"I find your lack of faith disturbing." Vader snarled. Vader then released the man.
"Man, I wouldn't mind doing that to Snivilus." James chuckled, getting laughs from the other guys. Lily snarled under her breath. Then, they watched as Luke and Ben discovered that the stormtroopers had slaughtered the Jawas, and then, watched in horror as Luke came back to his home to find the smoking remains of his home and family. Lily didn't even attempt to hide her horror as she covered her mouth.
"Bastards!" James spat.
"They're no different than Death Eaters!" Sirius snarled. Lily didn't even attempt to correct him, because he was right. How many times was that happening in real life right now? They kept watching. The really funny scene that had them all laughing was when the troopers approached the landspeeder, and Obi-Wan tricked the storm troopers off with a simple flick of his hand, them repeating everything he said.
"Kinda looks like the Imperius curse." Lily said softly. James snicked.
"Or those guys are so boneheaded they'll believe anything." He added.
"They really are like Slytherins, dimwitted and stupid." Sirius snickered. Then, they watched the cantine snicker. Lily found the song catchy, and was fascinated by all the different kinds of aliens.
"Neat music." James smirked while Sirius snapped his fingers. Peter was bobbing his head. Then, they watched as Luke and Obi-Wan walked over to a table with a large hairy creature, to where a man dressed in a simply jumpsuit was sitting, sipping a drink. Lily smirked.
"Now that guy is hot." She grinned, causing James to choke on his Coke while Sirius and Lupin snickered. Then, after negociation, they watched as Solo was stopped by Greedo, which resulted in a gunfight between the two. James laughed as Solo tossed some money at the bartender and apologized for the mess.
"I can't believe he shot that guy and everyone kept drinking." Lily said curiously.
"Happens all the time in Knockturn Alley." Sirius shrugged. They watched in ravid interest as they boarded the ship, and escaped in a big blasterfight. Lily was fascinated when they jumped to hyperspace.
"Awesome!" she grinned.
"Not that different from apparating." Sirius shrugged. Lily glared at him.
"You try apparating a ship." She snarled. Then, the scene cut to the Death Star approaching Alderann. They watched as Vader brought Princess Leia onto the bridge facing the planet.
"Tarkin. I recognized your foul stench as soon as I was brough on board." Leia snarled, causing the guys to roar in laughter.
"What do you think he's gonna do?" James whispered. Then, Tarkin sneered as he told Leia to reveal the Rebel Base, or he would destroy Alderann.
"He's bluffing, you can't destroy a planet." James smirked. Leia finally seemed to break, and say that the Rebel base was on Dantooine. But that didn't stop Tarkin, who chuckled and ordered the Death Star to fire.
"That guy is cold." Sirius said with wide eyes. Then, the Death Star fired a gigantic green laser at Alderann, blowing the entire planet to pieces. Lily gaped in disbelief.
"Bloody hell!" Sirius yelped.
"That was… crazy!" James shivered.
"So many people…" Lily whispered in disbelief. The scene then cut to the falcon, where Luke was training with his lightsaber. R2-D2 ad Chewbacca were playing some type of chess.
"That looks cool. Kinda like wizards chess." James smirked.
"I could still beat you." Remus chuckled. Then, they watched as the Falcon came out of hyperspace, was ambushed by a TIE fighter, and chased it to the Death Star, where they got sucked in.
"Dunderheads." James rolled his eyes. Lily groaned.
"However, there are alternatives to fighting." Ben said as Han turned the ship's power off.
"You listening, James? You should pay attention. You don't always have to start a fight." James rolled his eyes as they watched the Millennium Falcon get sucked into the Death Star hanger.
"Wow. That's a lot of stormtroopers." Remus whistled softly.
"Man, what would you do if that was us and a busload of Death Eaters?" Sirius joked as they watched the squad of troopers march into the Falcon.
"Run." Peter squeaked. Then, the film cut inside to show that Han, Luke, Ben, and Chewie had hidden inside hidden compartments.
"That's smart." Lily observed.
"It's no Invisibility Cloak, but it'll do." James shrugged. Then, the scene changed to show that they knocked out the troopers and were wearing the armor, and laughed as they used Chewie as a pretent prisoner and took out a room full of troopers.
"Bloody hell, that was brilliant." Remus observed
"Yeah. Why didn't we ever think of that?" Sirius grinned. Lily baffled.
"Because I wouldn't be caught dead in that pile of rags." James smirked.
"Second that." Sirius added.
"You know, between his howling and you blasting everything in sight, it's a wonder
the whole station doesn't know we're here!" Luke yelled at Han.
"Bring 'em on, I'd prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around!" Han smirked as he leaned back and propped his feet up. Lily giggled.
"Now, who does that sound like?" She looked at Sirius. He laughed. They sat silently as they watched Obi-Wan leave to shut down the shield generator.
"I'm better looking than Han." He was interrupted by R2-D2 beeping.
"The princess, here?" Luke asked. Han seemed to ignore him
"Looks like this just go more interesting." Lily shushed them. Luke finally got Han to go along by promising that a rich princess would pay a lot of money for a rescue.
"A self centered arrogant prick who doesn't do anything unless there's a bag of money in front of him. Now who does that sound like?" Lily smirked. James scoffed as he crossed his arms. They watched as Luke and Han made their way through the Death Star, going up in the elevator to the prison section.
"Wow, those guys are stupid!" James snickered.
"Yeah, wish the Death Eaters were this stupid." Sirius added.
"Ok. We'll just chain you up, dress up as Death Eaters, and drag you into you-kno-who's house." Lily smirked, getting shocked looks from the Mauraders. Then, they watched as Han, Luke, and Chewie took out the stormtroopers., and Han had a very interesting conversation on the intercom.
"Bad conversation anyway." Han shot the comn, getting laughter from the audience.
"Ok, that might be something I might do." Sirius chuckled.
"No, you'd tell that guy to wank off and call him a bloody git." James countered with a smile. Sirius pondered that for a minute, then grinned.
"Yeah, you're right." They watched as Luke checked the cells until he found Leia.
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" Leia smirked. James laughed.
"Now who does that sound like, princess?" James grinned as he looked at Lily, getting snickers from the other mauraders, even Peter. Lily glared at him as they watched Han, Luke, and Leia fight against the invading troopers. Then, Leia blasted open a garbage chute.
"Wow." James grinned as Leia leaped through, followed by Luke. After an argument, Han reluctantly leaped in.
"I'd like a woman like that." Sirius grinned as they watched them fall into the garbage chute.
"That is disgusting!" Lily winched as they watched Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie slop around in the compartment.
"No, the Hogwarts kitchens after dinner is nasty." James countered. Then, Luke got sucked beneath the water by something.
"Never mind." James gulped.
"And I thought Filch was bad." Remus added. Then, they watched as the room shook, and the walls began to close.
"Ok, that place is really worse than the kitchens." Sirius shuddered. They watched as they strugged to keep the doors from closing, before the droids were able to shut it down.
"That guy really talks too much." Lily smiled as they managed to escape the chute.
The scene then changed to Obi-Wan sneaking to the tractor beam generator and shutting it down without alerting the troopers
"Ok, now he really reminds me of Professor Dumbledore." James frowned. They continued to watch as Luke and Leia got separated from Han and Chewie, and got chased through the Death Star, and managed to escape by swinging across a trench.
"Now, that seems like something I'd do." James grinned as he wrapped his arm around Lily's waist. Lily glared at him with an annoyed look. They roared with laughed when Han and Chewie chased several troopers, but ended up completely running the other way when they ran into a huge crowd of troopers.
"That would so happen to you guys. Except it'd be killing curses instead of laser blasts." Lily rolled her eyes. James made a move to counter, but simply shut up. Then, the scene changed to Obi-Wan, who was sneaking through the halls.
"He's a better sneak then you." Lily chuckled. James gumbled. Then, Obi-Wan stopped, and the scene panned to show Darth Vader standing at the other end with his lightsaber at his side. Obi-Wan frowned before activating his own weapon.
"Oooooh, super battle!" James grinned.
"We meet again, Obi-Wan. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master." Vader said.
"Only a master of evil, Darth." Then, Obi-Wan swung up to block Vader's strike.
"Damn! Like watching you know who and Dumbledore fight!" Sirius grinned.
"Not even close. Maybe in twenty years with ten times the special effects…" Remus shook his head.
"Appreciate the classics, Remus. Too much special effects is a bad thing." Lily scoffed. The scene changed to Luke and the others sprinting for the Falcon. Lukily for them, the troopers were distracted by Obi-Wan and Vader fighting across the room.
"How's that guy going to get away?" Peter finally spoke. Ben looked over at Luke, and then raised his lightsaber. Vader didn't hesitate, and swung. It cut straight through Obi Wan. But, the man vanished, and his weapon and robesfell to the floor. Luke let out a shocked scream before starting a firefight. They managed to board the Falcon and blast out of the Death Star.
"Whoa! He apparated!" James grinned. Remus shook his head.
"No James, he's dead." James blinked.
"Oh." Lily groaned as she ran her hand over her face.
"Looks like it's not over yet!" Sirius grinned in excitement as Han and Luke climbed into the guns. Then, TIE fighters attacked. James and Sirius kept hooting as Han and Luke fired at the fighters.
"Ok, that's cool." Remus admitted.
"This is better than nailing those idiots with the muggle police car!" James laughed. Lily stared at him.
"You did what?" Sirius whistled nervously.
"Look, they got one!" James whooped as the screen lit up.
"Don't get cocky, kid!" Han yelled as he kept firing.
"You should listen, James." James glared at a smirking Lily. Then, the guys whooped as the last TIE fighter exploded. Lily shook her head.
"Men and explosions." She sighed.
"Did that seem a little too easy?" Remus frowned curiously. James laughed.
"Bull." James grinned. The scene cut to Tarkin and Vader on the Death Star.
"I trust that the homing beacon is securely on the Millenium Falcon?" Tarkin asked. Vader nodded.
"Today will be a glorius day. Today is the end of the Rebellion." Tarkin smiled.
"Smug git." Sirius frowned.
"How do those guys keep track of time?" Lily wondered out loud. They continued to watch as the Falcon traveled to the Rebel Base, and delivered the plans. They then outlisted the plan to destroy the Death Star.
"That is… the dumbest plan I've ever heard of." Sirius laughed.
"Sounds exactly like something you'd do." Remus countered.
"Aw come on, it's actually the same size as a Quidditch goal. Kinda like trying to hurl a Quaffle through it." James countered. Lily scoffed.
"Making a Quidditch goal and blowing up a space station are two different things." Lily smirked.
"She's right. Blowing up a space station is ten times more awesome!" Sirius grinned. Then, the alarms blared, announcing that the Death Star had entered the system and was thirty minutes away.
"This is gonna be good!" James grinned in excitement as the piolts raced to their fighters.
"I wouldn't mind an X-Wing. Cruising the galaxy in style." Sirius grinned.
"You'd crash it in five minutes." Remus smirked as he ate a mouthful of popcorn.
"No, he'd crash it in two." Lily smiled.
"I could fly it." James grinned.
"A broom is not a spaceship." Lily countered. They continued to watch as the rebels flew towards the Death Star. The fight began as the turrets fired at the fighters, and the fighters twirled to avoid.
"I could avoid all that on my Firesweep." James grinned. Then, the screen lit up as one of the fighters exploded.
"Until that happens." Remus grinned. James scrowled. The fighters continued to weave through the fire, dropping into the trench. The guys continued to watch with excitement as the battle continued. The scene changed to Vader storming through the Death Star and pulling two pilots with him. Tarkin was smirking as the battle continued, and refused to leave in his moment of triumph. Several rebels dived into the trench heading for the whole. Then, the turrets stopped firing.
"They're giving up!" Sirius grinned. Lily and Remus shook their head.
"Nope." Then, three TIE fighters flew into the trench. The center one was different from the others. The cam zoomed to show that Vader was flying it.
"Huh. A bad boss doing his own dirty work. Not common." Remus smirked. Vader took out two piolts fast like they were nothing.
"Wow, that guy can fly." Sirius whistled. James and the guys whooped when one of the rebels seemed to hit the mark, until it showed that they missed the mark, causing a groan from the guys.
"Come on, dude!" Sirius groaned.
"What an arrogant dumbass!" Sirius snickered. Then, Luke dove into the trench with several other fighters. Like before, the lasers stopped, and Vader and his wingmen flew towards them. Luke kep looking though his targeting computer.
"Oooooh, this is it!" Sirius bounced in his seat. Vader fired, and nailed R2-D2, causing fire to erupt from him and let out a loud scream.
"Oh no!" Lily gasped. One of Luke's wingmates was forced to pull out. Vader closed in on them more, cornering Luke's friend Biggs. Then, he fired, causing Biggs's ship to explode.
"Aw, poor guy." Remus winched.
"Too bad." James smirked.
"Oh really? How'd you feel if that was Sirius?" Lily smiled. James shuddered. Vader was closing in on Luke, and Luke looked like he was out of time. Then, Ben's voice echoed.
"Use the Force, Luke." James rolled his eyes.
"That's cheesy." Luke turned off his computer. At the same time, the Death Star cleared the planet. Tarkin was grinning.
"You may fire when ready." He smiled.
"Ooooh, they're out of time!" James ginned in excitement as Vader closed in on Luke.
"I have you now." Vader fired. But then, someone fired and destroyed one of the TIE, getting shocked gasps from the qudiance. Then, Han whooped as the Milenium Falcom shot down. One of the troopers tired to warn Vader, but veered and smashed into him, sending Vader spinning up and away from the Death Star.
"You're all clear kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!"
"Oh yeah!" Sirius cheered. Then, Luke fired, sending the torpedos flying into the shaft. They shot away from the Death Star. The station was completeing it's final countdown, when it exploded. James and the other guys went nuts.
"Woooo!" Lily groaned in embarrassment.
"They did it!" James grinned.
"Impressive." Remus chuckled.
"Great shot kid, that was one in a million!"
"Remember, the force will be with you, Always." Ben's voice echoed. Vader finally got himself rightened.
"Someone's in trouble." Sirius grinned. The movie continued with Luke landing, and getting swarmed by cheering rebels. Then, there was a large celebration with everyone assembled in a main hall, with Luke, Han, and Chewie marching to the front and being awarded medals by Leia, along with a repaired R2-D2 and C-Threepio. They turned and looked front, smiling in front of cheering Rebels. Then, the movie cut to the credits.
"Woooo!" The Mauraders cheered and clapped along with the audience. Even Lily smiled as she clapped.
"That movie was awesome!" James cheered as they left the theater ten minutes later.
"I told you guys it would be great." Lily grinned.
"Sequel!" Sirius added as he jumped in excitement.
"It was nice." Peter admitted.
"I think I would make a great rogue, traveling the galaxy with an attractive princess." James grinned as he wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulder. She smiled.
"I'll never do my hair like that." Lily chuckled.
"I think Remus would make a great Chewie! And Snivilus would make a great Vader! And me, I'm the cute farmboy!" Sirius grinned, getting laughter from everyone else.
"Guys? Come on!"
Enjoy that? Just a fun one shot I came up! Review!
