The One Thing He Can't Live Without

Summary: This is a SongFic set to Hoobastank's "The Reason". This is Tony Stark's Goodbye Video to Pepper Potts – because he knew this was coming and he didn't want her hearing the news from someone else. Sequel to For You, Implied MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH.

Author's Note: I don't own the Avenger's or the Iron Man Movies – pretty sure Marvel's got them locked up tight on that. I also don't own Hoobastank or "The Reason". When I first set out to do the Goodbye Video, I had two songs in mind – neither of them this one. And then I put my iPod on shuffle and that was all it took, because this is the perfect Pepper/Tony Song.

With a normal Avenger's outing, Pepper Potts-Stark would be in the communal living room with the other members of the 'Avenger's Entourage' as the press had dubbed her, Jane, and Darcy. What had started out as a normal – or as normal as an Avenger's mission can be – mission had quickly taken a turn for the worst and the city of Manhattan was in peril of falling to whatever the Hell it was their boys (and girl) were out there fighting. As soon as J.A.R.V.I.S. had told them how bad it was – Extremis Super Soldiers, Doombots, and little acid spitting aliens, Pepper knew she needed to lie down. Darcy and Jane could hold the forte down together – she couldn't handle too much stress right now.

Pepper went to lay down on the couch in her office – with the excuse that she had work to do and watching the Avenger's kickass was just going to distract her. The truth was… and none of the Avengers knew this, that she and Tony were going to have a baby. Tony wanted to wait to tell the team until he got to tell Rhodey… but if they waited much longer – especially living with two of the greatest spies on the planet – their little secret was going to make itself known.

She'd kept a news screen up, muted, while she tried to focus on relaxing and channeling positive energy to the little bundle of life inside of her. After a few vicious hits to the Avengers on the screen she closed her eyes and laid back – again trying to relax. She must have been more tired than she'd thought because the next thing she knew J.A.R.V.I.S. was waking her up.

"Mrs. Stark? Please wake up Mrs. Stark, there is something you need to see."

"J.A.R.V.I.S.? What's wrong, is the battle over? Are they okay?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Stark. The battle is over. The remaining Avengers are safely arrived back at the Tower. Please direct your attention to the screen on your desk. Sir will explain."

"Remaining Avengers? J.A.R.V.I.S. I don't understand? Oh, my God, who did we lose?" Pepper was sitting up on the couch now, the leather creasing in her death grip as she turned her eyes to her desk as directed. Tony was going to explain? But if they'd lost someone, he'd come find her and do it in person! He knows she can't handle stress right now! What is going on?

The screen on her desk lit up and she knew, just knew immediately who it was that they'd lost. J.A.R.V.I.S. unmuted the device as the video recording of her husband started to play.

Opening Verse

"Hey, Pepper, Baby. I honestly don't know where to start or even how to start." The Tony on the screen said. He was down in his workshop, surrounded by tools and grease and general chaos and he looked as alive as he had just a few hours before when he kissed her on her cheek and headed out to provide aerial cover for the Avengers. He looks somewhat manic, like he'd had too much coffee and not enough sleep – but he's been sleeping so soundly lately and Pepper wonder's when he made this.

"I love you. More than anything in the world can possibly be loved, I love you Virginia Anne Potts-Stark. And God, if you're watching this now, I am so, so fucking sorry that I had to do this to you baby. You are the one thing that I can't live without – you know that, and now I have to ask you to do the same of me. You have to be strong Pepper. God, baby I'm so sorry. If you can't do it for yourself – do it for the Peanut." J.A.R.V.I.S. paused the video as Pepper let out a wracked sob. He'd recorded the video after finding out she was pregnant but before finding out that it was a boy. Oh, God.

Second Verse

"J.A.R.V.I.S. please continue the video, I'm sorry for my outburst," she says once her sobs have quieted down to hiccups.

"Mrs. Stark, you have nothing to be sorry for. This will be trying for everyone, the baby included." She gave another little sob at the mention of her unborn child. Who was now fatherless. Even if rest of the Avengers made it through the battle unscathed, she didn't know how they were all going to recover from this loss. Every time, they went out there, there was always a risk of someone not coming home – but you never think…

Third Verse

"Baby the reason I made you this video was so that I could tell you just how much I love you and make sure you never question that. I do. I love you and I love our little Peanut, boy or girl, I love you both so much it makes this so, so much harder to do." The Tony's eyes on the screen were starting to tear up. This was killing him to do as much as it was killing her to watch.

"I also wanted to be the one to tell you – I didn't know if I'd be the only casualty when I went down – but I wanted to make sure you were told right. You know me so well Baby, you already know by this video, this time I'm not coming home and I'm sorry for that. You have to understand that the Avengers Team is the Nuclear Deterrent now – not just me – and if you're watching this video, then it's because I used the self-destruct protocol I installed after the Battle of Manhattan. I don't want you to think that I chose to leave you and Peanut, 'cause Baby I didn't. I chose to lay down on the wire one more time and this time it ended up being the last time."

Oh, God, the self-destruct protocol in the suit was powerful enough to match a tactical nuke without radiation fallout or structural damage. There was no way Tony could have walked away from something like that – especially if he was wearing the damn thing! He'd told her about – given her the codes to authorize the detonation Just In Case because of something Loki had said to him during the Battle of Manhattan… He must have been afraid the city was lost if he'd used it. It was a Last Resort… he'd… he'd promised.

Fourth Verse

"I know I never talk much about Afghanistan and what happened there, but it was there, Baby, I realized just how important you and Happy and Rhodey were to me. There was a man there with me in the cave – I made it out and he didn't – but he said something to me that changed my entire life Pepper. He asked me if I had a family, Baby, and I told him no. He knew who I was, what I did for a living, and all he said to that was that I 'was the man with everything and nothing at all'. And that got me thinking, I needed a reason to come home, to be a better man, to deserve a second chance… after three months in a desert cave with Ho Yinsen, he died saving my life and his last words to me were not to waste my second chance. It took Rhodey about three days to find me after I escaped and in that time I decided, everything I was going to do from then on out was going to be because of you. I know it took me a while to get my head out of my ass and finally show you I really meant it, but my reason for making it home out of that hellhole is, was, and will always be: You.

Fifth Verse

Pepper had stopped hiccupping but tears were still trailing down her face when she thought of everything she and Tony had been through in the past six years since Afghanistan. It hadn't all been smooth sailing – especially when he was dying and didn't tell anyone – but to know that all of his choices had been based on her was a little overwhelming. God, she loved this man with everything she had in her and everything she possessed… how was she supposed to go on without him?

Sixth Verse

"I know you baby, you're always taking care of someone. Even when Peanut comes, you'll still cast about for someone to look after. Look after Happy, Rhodey, and the Avengers for me would ya? Just as I realized that you, Happy, and Rhodey were my family, so are the Avengers. Don't let them push away the people they love in their life because they've been reminded of our life expectancy in the field. J.A.R.V.I.S. can take care of the Bots, but they need a little human interaction every once in a while… and if you could… God, Baby, I am so sorry to do this to you."

"Mrs. Stark? Captain Rogers is at the door."

"I didn't hear him knock, J.A.R.V.I.S., I'm sorry".

"He has not yet. I believe he is trying to steel himself to inform you of the battle's outcome."

"Oh. Oh, God, J.A.R.V.I.S., I don't think I can do this…"

"I am sorry, Mrs. Stark. I'm afraid you must. We all must."

Seventh Verse

"One last thing, Baby. I need you to call Rhodey. Just like I didn't want you to find out from anyone else, I don't want him to either. If I'd left him a video or something, he would have thought it was a prank. I NEED you to be the one to call him Baby. I am so, so sorry. Don't ever forget how much I love you and Peanut." The tears that had been gathering in the on screen's Tony's eye finally began to fall. "I'd tell you I'd go to the moon and back for you, but I've gone to a whole other part of the Universe for you, Baby and I came back. You were always my reason to comeback. I love you. Please don't hate me for this."

Pepper stood up, squared her shoulders, dabbed her eyes, and went to answer the door that the leader of the Avengers had just softly knocked on.

Closing Verse