Of Explosions and Duffle Bags
Characters: Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers
~Pairings: Nothing Specified
Word Count:
Trigger Warning: Panic Attacks
Note: None
The explosions were what woke Bruce, the loud thundering sounds and bright flashes from somewhere outside, followed by the crackles and scattering of guns. They had found him.
He was out of bed in an instant, breathing heavily and eyes wide. His feet hit something soft, his bare feet and Bruce was left momentarily confused. He hadn't slept with his shoes off in ages, the constant need to be ready to run did that to a person, and yet they were gone. He cast desperate eyes around the small room he was in, small, cozy, this, this wasn't right. Where was he? Was it a trick? Was he sick? How come—
Another explosion ripped through the air and through Bruce's thoughts, his heart rate escalated, he needed to get out, he needed to leave.
They were close, they were here.
Falling to his hands and knees he stretched out a hand and felt underneath his bed, there should be a duffle bag there, fully packed with supplies, but instead he felt nothing.
He looked around in dismay, before his eyes fell on a small closet in the corner. He raced to it and flung it open, his hands grasping at clothes and flinging them aside. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered why he had so many clothes, but that hardly seemed important at the moment, not when things were exploded outside his window.
Where was it? Where was it?
He was beginning to panic, when his hand finally closed around something coarse and lumpy, with a yank he pulled out his precious duffle bag and let out a cry of relief. Why had he ever let it get pushed so far away? Why had he settled down?
Throwing the bag over his shoulder, he cast his eyes around one last times in hopes of seeing his missing shoes, an explosion interrupted his search, louder, closer, he had to leave, he had to leave now.
He could get new shoes. People couldn't get new lives if the military shot at him. People couldn't get new lives when the Hulk crushed them.
Racing out the door Bruce ignored the way the duffle bag thudded awkwardly against his side, he just needed to get out, to escape, to—
He barreled into somebody and fell back with a cry of surprise, grasping the wall to stop himself from falling.
Inside him he could feel the Hu—the Other Guy beating at the corners of his mind, another explosion, and his mind roared.
No, no, He thought desperately. Calm, stay calm, you're calm. Calm, calm, calm.
"Dr. Banner? What are you doing? Are you going somewhere?" A voice broke through his mantra and Bruce looked up, the man was military.
Bruce could tell by the way he held himself, by the way he looked, or maybe he was just being paranoid. Either way Bruce offered no answer to the man, instead he only gripped his bag's strap tighter and tensed, waiting.
The brows of the man furrowed, "Do you need help? I can—"A hand reached out a Bruce flinched away violently.
"Don't," he growled. "Don't, stay away from me. I just want—"
An explosion roared into the air and with it the Other Guy roared through his brain, Bruce squeezed his eyes shut.
Calm, calm. Breath, in and out, in and out. You're calm, you're okay, Bruce lied to himself over and over, trying desperately to keep control.
"Dr. Banner?" The man, was closer suddenly and Bruce let out a yelp, hitting the wall. The man flinched away violently, jerking his hand back. "Bruce? What's wrong?"
It was the saying of his first name that caught Bruce's attention and he dared to look at this man, tall, threatening, the Other Guy roared.
"They're coming," Bruce whispered voice raspy. "They're coming, they won't leave me alone." He slid down the wall and tried to breathe, "Why won't they leave me alone?"
Explosions, gun shots, roaring from within his brain.
Bruce squeezed his eyes shut and clutched at his hair. "They're going to get people killed," he told the stranger, looking up at the menacing form. "You need to tell them to leave me alone, because they're going to make me hurt people, kill people. Please."
The man slowly lowered himself and looked Bruce in the eyes, "Dr. Banner, Bruce, do you know where you are?"
"No," Bruce choked out. "But they're coming."
"Who's coming?"
"The military, the soldiers, Ross, they're coming."
A moment of silence and the man looked confused, then another explosion hit and Bruce flinched violently and realization hit the man's eyes.
"JARVIS," the man said. "Sound proof this section of the tower."
"Right away sir," a disembodied voice caused Bruce to jolt in surprise eyes wide.
"It's okay, it's okay," the man said quickly, softly. "No one's coming for you Dr. Banner—"
"But—"
"No one, you are currently inside of Stark Tower, what you heard outside were the fireworks that people were setting off for New Years, no one is coming for you. You are safe."
Bruce licked his lips nervously and glanced round, "Ross," he protested weakly.
"Isn't coming for you," the man said the words with such surety that Bruce couldn't help, but believe him. "No one is coming for you Bruce I promise. No one."
The man's voice was calming, reassuring and slowly, but surely Bruce's heart rate slowed and slowly, but surely his mind began to clear, that's about when the man got a name.
"Steve?" Bruce breathed out.
The man, no Steve, smiled, "There you go."
Bruce put his head into his hands and blushed violently, "Oh my—I didn't, I couldn't, I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to apologize for, though I must admit I don't know how far you thought you were going to get in pajamas, with only a duffle bag and no shoes."
"You'd be surprised," Bruce let out a hallow laugh.
Steve's eyebrows furrowed in concern, "You've done this before. Just bolted out the door and ran with nothing."
Bruce winced and sighed, running a hand through his hair, "The military didn't exactly call ahead when they were coming and eventually it was just better to have everything ready to go."
The hallway lapsed into an uneasy silence, before Steve spoke again.
"You know that you're safe here right?"
Bruce didn't answer.
"Bruce?"
"Uh, yeah, course, it's just that if the military really does come who's going to keep you guys safe."
Steve chuckled, "I'm pretty sure we can handle the military Dr. Banner."
"No, not keep you safe from the military. Keep you guys safe from me," Bruce emphasized pressing a hand into his chest.
"I don't—"
Bruce threw his arms up in the air, frustration clear in his voice and actions, "I almost lost it inside of the tower in the middle of New York, because of fireworks Steve! Fireworks!"
"That's hardly you're fault Dr. Banner."
"Then whose fault is it?!"
"It's no one's fault, you've had a lot of bad experiences in your life. It's okay for certain things to be triggering."
"But what if—"
"I almost shot Bucky once," the confession spurred past Steve's lips before he could stop it and Bruce froze midsentence.
"Uh what?"
Steve cleared his throat awkwardly, "It was during a mission, we had just taken a Hydra base and well there's always this horrible silence after a battle like you can't quite believe that it's over, that any second now someone else is going to come in and try to kill you. There's a monster behind every corner kind of idea. Anyways Bucky just so happened to grab my shoulder during this time and I don't know it startled me I guess, I had him on the ground and a gun in his face in an instant."
Bruce blinked over at Steve, the man hardly ever talked about his time in the 40's and it was strange to hear him doing so now, especially about something this personally.
"After a couple minutes of tenseness he managed to talk me down, but it was easily one of the worse experiences of my life. And you know what he did when I tried to apologize?"
Bruce shrugged; of course he didn't know he hadn't heard the story before.
"He told me that it wasn't my fault, that it was fine okay," Steve shoved Bruce playfully. "Sound familiar."
"I suppose so, but it's not the same I—"
Steve glared over at Bruce, though his eyes held no real anger, "Bruce, if anything we should have warned you about it. Instead we were all too concerned about Tony getting drunk and blowing up the lab."
"Yeah okay, I get it."
"Good."
They sat in silence for a couple more minutes, before Steve stood and stretched, "Well I think we should call it night, unless you plan on sleeping in the hallway." He offered a hand to Bruce.
Bruce shrugged, taking the offered hand, "I've slept in worse places."
"I believe it," Steve chuckled and then his face turned serious again as he asked. "You're going to be okay right?"
"Yeah," Bruce played at the strap of his duffle bag. "Yeah I'll be fine."
Steve glanced at the tattered bag, "Tomorrow we should try to get you a new bag. I bet Stark can figure out a way to make it Hulk proof or at least Hulk resistant."
Bruce blinked, "What?"
Steve shrugged, "If having a duffle bag on hand really does make you feel safer we might as well get you one that isn't falling apart."
Bruce smiled a bit at that, "Guess so, though I can't really see the Other Guy making sure he has it when he takes off."
"Eh, we'll figure it out."
"JARVIS should keep this part of the building sound proofed until you say otherwise," Steve informed Bruce. "You should be good for the night."
Bruce blushed slightly at that, it was like Steve was tucking in a child, "Okay."
Steve nodded and turned, "Well then I'm going to go make sure that Tony didn't convince Clint to play darts drunk. Good-night Dr. Banner."
"Night Steve," Bruce mumbled, and then added quickly. "And uh thanks for you know…" He trailed off.
Steve smiled, "Anytime Dr. Banner, happy to help."
Then he was gone.
Carefully Bruce made his way back to his room and slung the duffle bag off his shoulder, pushing it under the bed where it should have been. Then he quickly searched his room for his shoes and placed those next to the door.
Satisfied now that everything was in its proper place Bruce turned and collapsed into bed, after all he had sleep to catch up on.
He fell asleep in an instant while outside the fireworks exploded in silence.
I've wanted to write a Bruce Banner fic for a long time and well I finally had an idea I really liked and decided to roll with it. Plus with Age of Ultron coming out soon it seemed appropriate to post an Avengers related fic :)
I also hope that I portrayed panic attacks properly, I researched them out and tried to get a handle on them, but any constructive criticism would be wonderful (both on this and in general)
Anyways Thanks for Reading and Please Review
