Disclaimer: No, I don't own the Matrix. Only Girl, and I can't sell her, can I?

And now we begin this delightfully humorous (and completely OOC) tale of one girl's adventures with the Matrix (before Neo was known to exist, by the way).  Our story will begin, of course, with Chapter #1.  Today's chapter is brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department, who is bringing you today's chapter today.

Chapter 1: Interrogation

It was a fairly normal day at the mall.  Two Agents, Agent Bob and Agent Bill, stood by a fountain, searching for any Rebels or anomalies.  Suddenly, a teenage girl who had been digging through her bag and walking at the same time crashed into one of them.

Girl: Ah, gomen nasai!  Sorry! *bends to pick up bag distractedly*

Agents: *stony silence*

Girl: *looks at them* Hey, my friend said that if I saw people that looked like you, I should walk up to them and say 'Deja vu'.

Agents: *turn heads to look at each other simultaneously*

Girl: I don't know why, something about the Matrix and Agents.

Agent Bob:  Come with us.

Agent Bill:  Resistance is futile. *both grab girl's arms and start to lead away*

Girl:  Ummm…okaaaay.

Later…

The Agents lead the girl into a big building and into a white tiled room with a desk and chairs.  They tell the girl to sit down, and she does.

Agent Bob:  Tell us what you know.

Girl:  About what?

Agent Bill:  The Matrix.

Girl:  I don't know what it is, for a start…

Agent Bob:  Resistance is futile.

Agent Bill:  We know you know something.

*another Agent walks in*

Agent Bob: Ah, it's a good thing

Agent Bill: You're here, Smith.

Girl: *gasps* IT'S ELROND'S LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER!!!

Agents: …

Agent Smith: My name is Smith.  Agent Smith.

Girl:  I know who you are!  My friends talk about you all the time!  Agent Smelrond!

Agent Smith: Smith.  My name is Smith.

Girl: Not anymore it's not.

Agent Bob:  She can alter the Agents of the Matrix?

Agent Bill:  She must be the One we've been searching for.

Agent Smith:  I will take it from here.

Agents Bob and Bill:  Right. *leave, the door clicking ominously shut behind them*

Girl:  Sooo…

Agent Smith:  Resistance is futile.

Girl:  I know that already, the other two have said it at least 50 times already.

Agent Smith:  What do you know about the Matrix?

Girl:  Ummmmmmmmmm…42?

Agent Smith:  Resistance is futile.

Girl:  The next person who tells me that is going to be whomped.  Hard.

Agent Smith:  Resistance is futile.

Girl:  ARGH!!! *head erupts in anime flames* Don't say I didn't warn you. *holds up arm as if to punch Smith's face*

Agent Smith:  You cannot hit me, it is impossible.

Girl:  *kicks him from under the table*

Agent Smith: OW!  NOT FAIR!

Girl:  *grinning smugly* All's fair in love, war, and kicking weird guys in sunglasses.

Agent Smith:  Resistance is…* notices flaming evil death glare from girl*…or not. *mutters to himself* Bloody teenagers…

Girl: *mutters as well* Baka…

Both:  *glare at each other*

Girl:  Can I go now?

Agent Smith:  Not until you tell me what you know about the Matrix.

Girl:  Absolutely nothing.  You know, I can see why my friends don't like you.

Agent Smith:  AHA!!!  Your friends must be Rebels!

Girl:  We-ell…

Agent Smith:  Yes?

Girl:  One time we were talking about whether we'd want to be Rebels or Agents, but I didn't say anything because I had no clue what the heck either of them were…

Agent Smith:  And… *motions for her to continue*

Girl:  Most of them said they'd be Agents based on food quality and fighting ability.

Agent Smith: *inwardly bashes head against a hard surface* That will be all…for now.  Later there will be proper interrogation…implements, shall we say.

Girl:  Implements?  Will any of them be pointy and shiny?

Agent Smith:  Er, YES!  Lots of them will be very pointy! I have her now…

Girl:  Pointy shiny things are fun!

Agent Smith: *sighs* I will be back. *leaves girl locked in the room*

~~~

A/N: Ah, the first chapter.  And in case you're wondering if I'll just forget about this fic halfway through and leave it to rot forever like some of my other fics (I'm working on them now, I swear!) …well, I've already finished writing it.  So look for updates every 4 days at the absolute latest, and review, review, review!  And keep in mind; for until about the middle of next week I'm having semester exams, so the updates might be a teensy bit late a few times.