A/N: So, I made plans over a year ago to expand on the Beetlejuice drabble I did for my collection, and here it finally is! I was randomly inspired to write the entire chapter in a single day so I'm gifting it you fans. This is less a parody and more like a fanfic inspired by the original movie. Oh, on another note this fic will probably be slow to update- sorry guys!

Edit: I added Genderqueer Dipper to the summary to avoid surprising anyone.


It was often speculated that the Pines twins were just odd. That observation followed them as whispers behind their backs, hissed between their peers with sneers on their faces. They stuck out among other kids- too loud, too childish, too weird for everyone else to handle.

It must be a creepy twin thing people would say to each other.

What was fact was that Dipper and Mabel Pines both had overactive had been evident since they were toddlers; their games of pretend could last weeks and leave playful destruction in their wake. If one of them gained a belief- say, that the neighbor's dog was actually a man trapped in a dog's body- the other would absorb and then defend this belief with everything they had. It was relatively harmless, even if they spent a few years dressing the neighbor's dog to 'preserve his dignity.'

No one could keep up with their games; even their parents just weathered the storm with indulgent smiles. The children who tried would find themselves quickly confused and left in the dust as Dipper and Mabel rushed forward in their adventures. It wasn't long before the other kids stopped trying to join in and their pretend worlds were just an exclusive twin thing.

Disinterest quickly turned into dislike.

Their teachers either loved or hated them and the notes on their report cards got less and less fond as they grew up; they were labeled as disturbances in the classroom and were noted for not getting along with other students. A common concern was their lack of focus on the lessons as they passed notes to each other in codes, even when seated on opposite sides of the room. Their teachers were fed up and vocal about it.

So their parents, rather than firmly put their foot down about such things, decided to direct their creative energy elsewhere.

Mabel took to arts and crafts like a fish to water. There were no limits placed on her, so she created explosions of color and glitter and whatever else struck her fancy. She could make whatever mess she needed to in the moment as long as she helped to clean it all up afterwards. It was like a giant party whenever she was struck by inspiration.

Dipper had less of an easy time; his self-critical attitude made crafting more stressful than relaxing. His efforts always felt inadequate in comparison to his sister's explosions of art and he would shy away from the activity. His parents encouraged him to pursue different avenues of expression with degrees of success and failure, but Dipper eventually found sanctuary in books.

Fantasy, science-fiction, murder-mysteries, non-fiction; he read it all with avid interest. It did little to help when it came to interacting with his peers- in fact, Dipper had only become more awkward and paranoid. He had already been shy due to being teased and bullied in school over his his birthmark, but his interest in conspiracies and cryptids further widened the gap between him and other students.

His teachers had little to complain about as his schoolwork improved dramatically.

In the end, Mabel and Dipper remained inseparable through the years, even as the other kids took more of an interest in Mabel. She was seen more as fun and zany (though still too childish for a highschooler), and there had been efforts made to befriend her but they all failed.

For you see, while Mabel was quick to forgive those who had hurt her, she was completely unforgiving of those who had hurt her twin. Any who attempted to exclude or insult Dipper as he sat next to her were sent packing, sometimes violently.

After the cafeteria 'fite me' incident of their sophmore year, their parents decided it was best to give the kids a fresh start at a new school in hopes they'd be able to make friends- or at least make it through the year without getting into a fight.

("Mabel, those self-defense classes weren't so you could break the nose of a school bully-")

The announcement was met with mixed feelings; while it was true that they weren't leaving any friends behind it wasn't as if they had much to look forward in a new town they knew nothing about. They could find little about Gravity Falls, Oregon, online except for it's position on a map and that it had less than 200 citizens. Grandpa Shermie had owned a bit of property there that he didn't use but had been unable to sell for years and he was tired of paying to upkeep the place. He had been all too happy to hand over the deed for next to nothing. When asked, Grandpa Shermie admitted he hadn't spent much time in the town but had found it quaint and peaceful.

Dipper and Mabel had shared a frown at that. Small town life didn't really appeal to a couple of city kids, but they couldn't find it in themselves to fight against their parents when they were only looking out for them. It didn't mean they were happy about it though.

So, at the end of the school year they packed up their life in Piedmont and made the 10 hour drive to Gravity Falls.

The cabin was a lot bigger than their old house, which meant that the twins would finally have separate bedrooms. (That was a definite plus to both of them because as much as they loved each other, sharing a bedroom through puberty had been awkward). Not to mention that the backyard was endless seeing as the property as located outside the town in the woods; they could explore and hike to their hearts content.

Still, Dipper eyed the house unhappily. The outside looked a bit rough to the point that he was more comfortable calling it a shack than a cabin, going past the point of being rustic and looking rundown. If it wasn't for the fact that it was given to them by their grandfather he would start worrying that his parents had been taken advantage of.

"Dipper, hunny," his mother, Anna, called out to him, "can you take this box to the kitchen?" She hefted up a box marked fragile and labeled 'kitchen' in her slanted handwriting.

"Sure thing, mom," he replied, walking up to her and accepting the box from her with a sigh.

She pressed a kiss against his cheek, leaving a pale pink lipstick stain behind. "Cheer up, sweetie, things are going to turn out great," she assured with a smile and reached up to swipe most of the lipstick off with her thumb. "Having a positive attitude will get you far in life; who knows what you'll miss if you're always looking down at the ground instead of what's in front of you."

Dipper forced a small smile. "I'll try to."

"That's all I ask." Her eyes crinkled with the width of her smile. "The kitchen should be in the back on the right. Don't trip going up the step," she added, referring to the porch steps.

"You should be telling Mabel that," Dipper grumbled, rolling his eyes good-naturedly, and began walking towards the house.

(Mabel usually moved about with a fair amount of grace, but that went out the window the moment she was excited about something. Then she was more like a stampeding elephant who didn't watch where they stepped; sometimes her acts of clumsiness defied logic and became something of family legend. Even she wasn't sure how she managed to send the fishtank flying out the window, though she found it just as funny as everyone else- but only after they managed to rescue their poor goldfish.)

"I already did," Anna called back with snort of amusement.

Dipper made a show of carefully walking up the step and passed his dad and sister in a friendly argument about how to fit the couch through the front door. The inside of the house was in a lot better shape than the outside and Dipper had to wonder how Grandpa Shermie had been unable to sell the house before now.

The dark hardwood floors were nearly scuff free and they contrasted nicely with the pale color of the walls. All the rooms seemed pretty spacious as well, though Dipper had to frown at the awful carpet in the room passed the front room it was hardly a deal breaker- a little bit of elbow grease and it'd be replaced. The kitchen was a bit small but, considering all the space in the house, it could easily be expanded if needed.

Dipper placed the box he was carrying on the counter and eyed the room. He was sure that Grandpa Shermie would warn them if there were any serious issues with the house, but he still found the fact that no one had wanted to buy the house before them incredibly suspicious. No, he told himself with a shake of his head, he was just being paranoid again. His energy should be focused towards unpacking- he can worry about this mystery later.

He had only taken two steps outside the kitchen when he heard a crash. The noise sent his heart racing and he jumped like a startled cat. It took a second for the adrenaline burst to pass before he thought to turn around and look in the room he had just left.

The box he had just put down was now toppled on the floor next to the counter, still sealed shut.

Dipper wrinkled his brow; had he really left the box that close to the edge, he wondered, but it was pushed to the back of his mind. He could only hope the dishes had been wrapped well and hadn't broken. Walking back into the room, he righted the box but didn't set it on the counter again not wanting to tempt fate. It was hardly the first time he had misjudged distance when he was distracted but he felt less embarrassed this time and more unsettled.

Shaking the feeling off as best he can, he shoved the box against the wall to keep anyone from tripping on it and then walked away to continue unpacking. If he just so happened to speedwalk, pulse thumping in his throat, well that was no one's business but his own.

(line break)

They managed to get half of the moving truck unpacked before it got dark, though the rest would have to wait until morning. For dinner, they picked up pizza from Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree in the mall to eat as they sat on the floor. The dining table and chairs would be delivered the next day, along with most of the large furniture and beds.

Tonight they would be sleeping on the fold out beds from the two couches they had brought along so they wouldn't have to sleep on the floor in sleeping bags. The evening was spent moving boxes to different rooms where they belonged; either going upstairs to the bedrooms or one of the rooms downstairs. Their parents gave Mabel the parlor as her art studio and claimed the smaller room as an office- but the rest was still up in the air. Most of the boxes ended up in the largest room in the back.

Dipper still couldn't shake his uneasiness, feeling very much like he was being watched as he moved through the house. Several times he could swear he heard a voice or even footsteps outside the room, but every time he looked the halls were empty. It was driving him up the wall.

Of course Mabel noticed he was tense all day but she waited until they were setting up the fold out couches to bring it up.

"What's bothering you, bro," she asked as she tucked the sheets around the thin mattress.

Dipper blinked and paused in the middle of tucking in his side, hands still under the mattress, to look at his twin. "What?"

"You've been acting weird all day," she pointed out and cocked her head. "Did you think I wouldn't notice? Come on! Who knows you better than I do? No one, that's who." Her tone was firm as if she was warning him not argue on that point. She climbed on to the bed to get in her 'serious listening pose'- legs folded into a pretzel and elbows planted on her knees to hold her head up. "So, what's up, broseph?"

"Well," he began only to trail off. To stall, he made a show of fixing his side of the bed and entertained the thought of blowing her off for a half a second, but that'd only make Mabel upset. Heaving a sigh, he looked around the room to make sure their parents weren't listening in and leaned closer as if to impart a secret.

Mabel also leaned forward.

"I think the house might be," Dipper grimaced, "haunted?"

A beat of silence and then-

"What?!" Mabel blew a loud raspberry, looking both relieved and annoyed, and relaxed out of her serious pose. "I thought it was something serious," she added with a giggle.

"Mabel, I am being serious," he hissed back, running his fingers through his hair in a fiftul motion. "I swear something is moving boxes around while I'm not looking and I feel like I'm constantly being watched!"

"Watched?" A heavy pause and her eyes darted to the side, a grimace crossing her face for a second.

Dipper's eyes widened. "You felt it, too?"

"No way," Mabel scoffed and waved her arms in denial. "This house is just old and creepy and our brains are just psyching us out. Besides, mom and dad probably moved those boxes around, Dipper. Nothing to get all paranoid over," she denied firmly though she still looked a bit uncomfortable.

"What about the footsteps- the voice I keep hearing?" He slapped his hand on the bed. "It was a man's voice and it definitely wasn't dad."

Mabel scrunched her face in thought for a moment before a worried expression returned. "Do you think someone's in the house? Like a squatter? Or a murderer," she gasped and slapped her hands to her cheeks.

"A spiritual squatter, maybe," Dipper replied with a roll of his eyes. He grabbed a folded blanket off the floor and tossed it over his twin in annoyance. "Like a ghost or a poltergeist." He eyed Mabel's covered form, comparing it to cartoonish depictions of ghosts as sheets with eyes; the alien print on the blanket didn't really fit well.

"I'm being serious," Mabel's voice was muffled from under the blanket and she quickly tugged it off. "What if there is someone in the house."

"Mabel, we've been all over the house today." He tossed both his and Mabel's pillow on to the bed. "If there really was a stranger in the house one of us would have wandered into them eventually."

"You don't know that. What if they're waiting around til we're asleep to murder us?"

Dipper opened his mouth, argument on the tip of his tongue, but quickly deflated. This was all his fault; if he had just kept his mouth shut then Mabel wouldn't have gotten all worked up. "Look," he sighed in resignation, "I'll sleep on the side facing the door, so if anything comes they'll have to get through me to get to you."

"Like that'd stop them," she scoffed. Despite her words, her shoulders released their tension. "What are you going to do, say nerd things at them?"

He shrugged back. "I dunno, but I still say it's a ghost." Maybe he had seen too many episodes of Ghost Harassers on UTBAHC, but all the signs seemed to be pointing to a haunting of some sort. If he could prove it maybe the Ghost Harassers team could do an episode on their house? Just the thought of potentially meeting his idols made him even more determined to prove himself right.

Mabel eyed him knowingly with a giggle.

Before he could attempt to defend himself, Anna walked into the room.

"You kids ready for bed," she asked with a tired smile. "It's been a long day and I think we could all do with a little shut-eye."

Dipper unzipped and quickly shucked his jeans, flashing his teal boy shorts for a moment, and then pulled on his usual grey sleeping shorts. He gave his mom a thumbs up.

Mabel reached into her bag and pulled out her nightgown, but made no move to leave the room. Instead, she fidgeted with the fabric and bit her lip; obviously, she was still worried about the possibility of someone being in the house.

Feeling a proverbial lightbulb flicker on, Dipper reached into his bag and pulled out his toothbrush and toothpaste. "Wait, I still have to brush my teeth," he said to the room at large and then turned to Mabel. "Shall we?" Making a show of it, he offered her his elbow to grasp.

"Awww, aren't you just a little charmer," Anna cooed and poked her son's cheek. "You'll make a certain someone feel special someday."

Dipper's cheeks burned- as always, he was incredibly embarrassed by the thought of dating especially when brought up by his mother. It made him feel like he was eight again and talking about his crush on Nancy Drawn from his second grade class.

Mabel giggled. "Such a gentleman," she added and grabbed his arm with rough exuberance. "To the bathroom ball, my royal twin!" There was no time for him to respond because she just dragged him along beside her, humming Oklahoma cheerfully.

When they reached the bathroom she left the door open as she checked under the sink and in the bathtub before she closed it to get changed.

Dipper leaned against the wall besides the door, looking from one end of the hall to the other repeatedly. If there really was a presence in the house he would have to be vigilant to document it. Now was not the time to relax no matter how tired he was... He sighed and rubbed at his eyes; the day had been way too long.

Sure, he had tried to get some sleep on the drive up but he'd always been something of a light sleeper and only managed a few short naps before he gave up. Regret and blurry eyes were his only reward. Maybe just for tonight only he would relax, he decided, get a good night's sleep and then tomorrow he would watch his surroundings like a hawk- this he swore.

As if he'd just given it permission, his brain began to send more sleep signals to his body; he yawned so wide that his jaw cracked and his eyes watered. In his peripheral, he saw his dad walk past the hallway, but he was gone by the time Dipper turned his head for a better look. A thought niggled at him but he easily shrugged it off.

A second later the bathroom door opened, spilling light out into the hallway. Mabel stood in the doorway, dressed in her purple tie-dye nightgown, and already brushing her teeth. Her hair was tied behind her in a loose braid.

Dipper squeezed into the bathroom and quickly set about brushing his own teeth, peering into the mirror blankly. Idly he noted the similarities between his face and his twin's; they could almost pass off as each other if wasn't for the height difference. They both took after their mother rather than their dad, but Dipper had managed to have half a head of height over his sister; he was also a tad broader in the shoulders, but he had never gotten the sort of broadness that came with the Pines family genetics. His body hair was also sparse, never gaining anything like the fur rug his dad across his chest and back- ugh, thank god- and he hadn't had much luck with facial hair despite the fact that they would soon be seventeen at the end of Summer. The few hairs that grew on his lip and chin were more embarrassing than anything else and were quickly shaved off.

Mabel elbowed him out of the way to spit out toothpaste and rinsed her mouth clean.

Dipper did the same as soon as she was done. Together, they left the bathroom and made their way back to the living room and their bed for the evening.

Sitting on the other bed, Anna was curled into their dad, Doug, her forehead resting on his shoulder and their hands clasped together loosely. They were both dressed for bed, she in a modest pale blue nightgown, and him in an A-shirt and his boxers. Doug's thumb ran over his wife's knuckles in a slow, tender motion speaking of familiarity and comfort.

Doug gave them both a boyish grin. "Don't be keeping us old folk up all night, you hear," he joked easily.

"Scout's honor," Mabel promised, holding up three fingers in salute.

Dipper held two up in the traditional boy scout fashion.

"You were never a scout," Anna reminded the twins with a teasing grin, finally pulling away from their embrace to climb into bed.

Mabel made a noise of disagreement, but followed her example. Soon the lights were out and everyone tucked into bed after goodnights were said and good dreams wished for.

Lying curled on his side, Dipper began to count his breaths to calm his mind enough for sleep, though his mind fixated on the sound of everyone breathing. He was used to ignoring Mabel's breathing, but she wasn't usually so close by. Not to mention that Doug's breath wheezed loudly in the silence.

In the safety of the dark, he threw a grimace over his shoulder in the direction of his parent's bed before he switched to laying on his other side, facing Mabel's side of the bed. He sighed again and went back to his counting, losing count somewhere in the fifties and his mind drifting into the haze of sleep-

A sudden, piercing chill swept up Dipper's back, jolting him wide awake. Fucking hell, what was that, he wondered. It felt as if someone had walked over his grave- or he had walked over someone else's. It took his brain a sluggish minute to collect himself and shove the answer to the forefront.

The ghost had been in the room. No, more importantly, it had touched him, he realized as his pulse hammered away. It could still be in the room, watching him and planning its next move. Dipper trembled and drew his limbs in closer under the blanket as if it would offer him some security. In this new house and trapped in darkness, closing his eyes was suddenly quite terrifying; he strained his eyes to see anything in the dark, but he could see nothing.

He didn't get much sleep that night.


A few notes:

First, I have to give a big thank you to kyogre-blue. She's always willing to let me bounce ideas off her and help me figure out the details of the plot I'm working on. Plus, she gives the best suggestions ever. I'd probably never get anything done without her help.

I have this headcanon that Mabel really likes musicals and plays and liked to perform in them at school. She's not exactly an aspiring thespian but she finds them tons of fun; I imagine as an adult she will sometimes audition at the local theater in her free time and becomes something of a local legend.

I often choose how older!Dipper based on what I want for the story. Sometimes I like him to end up still being rather similar to Mabel, which means he doesn't get very broad or tall. Or sometimes what I want is for him to get those Pines family genetics and end up broad and hairy- it all depends on the story I'm trying to tell.