TITLE: Persuasion (1/1)
AUTHOR: Marlen
EMAIL: crmv@aol.com
RATING: PG
KEYWORDS: Scully Angst
CATEGORY: Vignette, missing scene
FEEDBACK: Would just make my day!
SPOILERS: Slight references to One Breath, FTF, This Is Not
Happening, missing scene in DeadAlive
DISTRIBUTION: Yes. Please make sure my name is intact and I
would love for you to drop a line to let me know where it's
going.
DISCLAIMER: Even though it was a huge cop out and three months
whole months were skipped, the X-Files still belong to CC, 1013,
and Fox. No infringement intended.
SUMMARY: A diner, some coffee and an important decision.
TIMELINE: This story takes place a short time after the funeral
in DeadAlive.
WEBSITE: http://marlensxfiles.homestead.com
AUTHOR NOTES & THANKS AT THE END


Persuasion (1/1)
By Marlen

====================


She steps out of her car and into the frigid night air. A burst
of wind passes through her, making her shiver. She wraps her
coat as tight as her body will allow and hurries out of the cold
and into what she hopes will be a warm diner. The chime above
the door announces her presence and everyone glances to see who
it is, except for one person at the front counter.

It's nearly 1:00 in the morning, yet the diner is half full.
She hears a shriek and her hand almost reaches to her sig, but
the sound is immediately followed by laughter. She notices a
group of teenage girls gathered in a corner booth, chatting and
eating appetizers. For a split second, she remembers what it
was like to be carefree and innocent of the evils of the world.
She sighs at the vague memory. After all her experiences, she
can never look at the world in a child-like way again, but
Mulder could. He always surprised her with an infectious
excitement that surrounded him every time he was engulfed in a
case...

The mere thought of his name brings tears to her eyes. She
feels as if she has been stuck in one consecutive nightmare
after another since Mulder's abduction, but she finds it hard to
imagine a greater horror than seeing his lifeless body on the
ground in the forest, stripped and used like a lab rat.

This is not the way it's supposed to end.

She thought that she had no more tears left to shed, but when
she glanced at the calendar hanging on her refrigerator door
this morning while getting ready for work, they flowed easily
down her cheeks.

Precisely one week ago, she had buried her beloved.

She never made it to work. Instead, she went back to her
bedroom and crawled under the covers, not caring about her
nicely pressed suit, and hugged her pillow as if it were him
instead of cotton and down feathers.

The sound of another late night customer entering the diner
brings her back to the present and she wipes the single tear
falling down her cheek.

She tells herself that she will do the best she can to keep
thoughts of him at bay and move on with her life, but it is
useless. Everything is a reminder of the past they shared and a
future they will never have together.

She approaches the counter and a waitress in her late 30's,
wearing an unappealing uniform to match her enthusiasm, is
refilling a customer's mug. "You can sit anywhere you want.
I'll be right with you."

She decides to sit at the counter and when she sees the waitress
approach, she notices her nametag, Faith. It reminds her of
when she came back from sure death and told Mulder that she had
the faith of his beliefs.

Who is she supposed to believe now?

"What can I get for you?"

"Coffee, please." There is already a cup and saucer in front of
her. The waitress flips the cup over and starts to pour, but
she puts her hand out to stop the action. "Sorry, decaf." The
waitress seems annoyed by this. "Please?" The tension in her
voice leaves no room for argument. Faith pulls back and comes
back a moment later with the decaf.

"Thank you."

"Anything *else* I can get for you?"

"No, thanks."

She wraps her icy hands around the warm and toasty mug, closes
her eyes, inhales the scent, and takes a sip. She grimaces at
the taste of it.

Dejected, she mumbles, "What's the point?"

"What do you mean?" the man next to her asks.

Concentrating on the paper napkin she's methodically shredding,
she replies, "You try to make yourself believe that it's the
same, but it's not. It never will be. The taste is different.
The sensation and excitement isn't the same anymore."

She pauses for a moment, and while looking down at the dark
shimmering liquid, she continues, "Maybe I should just stop."
She pushes the cup forward, away from her.

"Do you think he would want you to?"

"Mulder told me once that I should quit and become a doctor, to
get as far away from him and the X-Files as possible."

"But you didn't."

Picking up where she left off with the rapidly disintegrating
napkin, she replies, "I couldn't do it. Not as long there was a
shred of hope -- a chance to fight back." She thinks about the
vial with the cure Mulder held in his hands. He didn't hesitate
for one single moment and went to the ends of the earth for her,
and she couldn't return the favor.

She failed him and she will have to live with that guilt for the
rest of her life.

"You can't drop everything you've worked so hard for."

She looks over at the man sitting next to her. He has the same
sad and weary eyes as she does. "Give credit where credit is
due. This was Mulder's quest, his life's work, not mine. The
X-Files belongs to someone with the same kind of passion and
devotion that Mulder had and let's face it, no one has that."

She stares at her now cold coffee, thinking about how she could
really use a *real* drink right now.

"You have that --"

She cuts him off. "No. I *had* that. It died when I found
Mulder's body..." she falters, but quickly gathers her
composure. "As long as there was a chance that Mulder was out
there –- alive, I would continue to use the sources available to
me. But he's gone now."

"I don't believe that."

"Well, believe what you want."

"Do you really want to leave the bureau when there are so many
questions left to be answered?"

"In the years that I been on the X-Files, I have learned that
the *answers* only get replaced by more questions, and to be
perfectly honest, I don't think I have the strength," without
him by my side, she finishes silently.

"What about the truth that Mulder died for?"

She tries to blink the tears away. "This is not an easy
decision for me, but there are other factors to consider now."
She rests her hand on the swell of her ever-growing abdomen --
her only connection to Mulder.

Noticing the protective gesture, he glances from her belly to
big blue eyes. "That is exactly why you should stay."

When the waitress comes by to refill his cup, he tilts his head
and lowers his voice to a whisper. "We can't let *them* win.
You owe it to Mulder, to yourself, and to your baby."

As if the baby could read her thoughts, she is greeted with a
kick. The pleasure is fleeting as she thinks of the future this
child will have. Could she be putting her son or daughter in
greater danger by leaving? Would staying in the X-Files be the
only way to ensure her baby's survival?

She gives him a sad smile. "I'll give it some thought." She
puts a couple of dollars on the counter and gets up to leave,
but he places his hand on hers, stopping her.

He's pensive for a moment. "You know I'm here for you, if you
need me."

She places her hand on top of his and gives him a small, sad
smile. "I know...and I appreciate that." Then she slips away
into the dark, not knowing what the future holds for her.



~end~


AUTHORS NOTES: I wondered what was keeping Scully on the X-
Files now that Mulder was gone, besides the great health
benefits and daycare!:) I figured that she wouldn't want to
stay and need some coaxing.

So, who do you think the mystery man was? veg I would love to
hear from you at crmv@aol.com

A great big thanks go out to Lenore, the best nitpicker a girl
could ask for, and to Georgia for her stamp of approval.g

Completed on April 6, 2001