Why?
Why is the only thought that comes to mind when I think of him. Why did he have to go? Why did he die? It's my fault, but I don't know why. I've always blamed myself for his passing, yet I know I had nothing to do with it. Though if he wouldn't have gone with me, then he never would have been shot.
"Merric!" I shriek as I see the archer aim right for him.
He whips around, but doesn't move in time. The archer releases the arrow, sending it straight through his heart. I felt my heart leap. I felt as if it wasn't him with the arrow in his heart. I felt as though the arrow pierced both our hearts.
I ran to him, dropping Falchion and ignoring the calls from my comrades. I'm at his side in an instant. He stares up at me, his green eyes glazed over. I pull him up into my lap, fighting tears back. I brush his emerald hair out of his face.
"Merric? Merric, My love, please don't die," I pull him closer, leaning lower towards him.
I grab the arrow that's sticking out of his heart. I hear his gasp and feel him cringe in pain. I tear it out, throwing it aside. I pull him farther up into my lap, then stand up. I hold him bridal style. Completely abandoning everyone else, I run from the battle field.
I ran, and never even looked back. At this moment, they don't mean a thing to me. At this moment, they aren't real, they don't even exist. All I care about now is Merric. I ran back to our encampment and brought him straight to the medic.
She helped him, but she couldn't heal him completely. I helped him recuperate, but I noticed something was wrong. He wasn't acting normal. He seemed distant and distraught, when normally he enjoyed my company. He hated everything, even the things he used to love endlessly.
I went out one night and found him in the woods. He was staring at the moon, and I joined him cautiously. I wanted to help my friend, but I didn't know how.
"Merric, we need to talk." I whispered.
He turned in my direction, his emerald eyes clouded with grief which came from an unknown source. I watch as he smiles. I smile back, feeling hope flitter in my gut. I find some sort of emotional window to my right, I found he went left, but I stayed right. I had stayed in the light, while he kept sinking. We were caught in between the lines of fear and blame. I, blaming myself for his anguish and him, fearing what's next. Fearing something none of us understood.
As we stare at each other, I start to wonder why I came. "Where did I go wrong? I lost my friend somewhere along in the bitterness and fear. I'll stay up with you all night if I have too, just let me know how to save your life." I beg, not being able to hold the tears back.
They drip form my chin as he continues to stare at me blankly.
"I'm sorry Marth," He whispers.
"Look, Merric, I know what's best," After all, I do know what's best, and his grief is not it.
"I'm fine, Marth. I'm just like the old Merric; I just have a little chest pain now and then. I'm no different!" He snaps, but that right there was nothing like the old Merric I knew.
I tried to slip past his defense without granting him innocence. I tell him what I've seen wrong with him now, but he denies each of them. "I've told you this Merric, you need my help. Please, I don't want to lose you,"
I hope he understands, I hope he decides to let me help. I can't lose a friend again. Not Merric.
"I'm fine! I don't need anyone's help, I can handle myself!" He leans closer, his voice noticeably louder than before.
"I just worry about you," I lower mine, granting him one last choice."You could continue on this road, and end up losing yourself to grief and misery, or you could accept my love and help, and break from this road of tragedy and pain." I look away, keeping my voice quiet.
I know he'll do one of two things: He'll admit to everything, or he'll say he's just not the same. Yet again, I begin to wonder why I came.
"I want to help you Merric, you're my best friend and more, I remember how thankful you were I left everything behind that day to save you. What happened? Now you barely look at me, you barely notice me. You act as if we are all dead and you are the last one left. How can I help save your life?" I look back up at him, my blue eyes wide and pleading.
After that, he just stood and turned. I watched as he walked away not saying a word. Later that night on my way home, I found him with a dagger in his chest. The very dagger I gave him, soaked in blood and sticking from his chest. I knew he would leave, I knew there was no cure.
If I wouldn't have gone and spoken to him, he never would have killed himself. I never would have driven my love and best friend to madness. Driven him to the point of wanting to leave, to die and never come back to everyone, come back to me.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Why," I screamed until my throat was hoarse. I couldn't take it. I couldn't live knowing I killed my own love. I had to though. I would have spent all the time in the world to make him better, but I guess I just wasn't enough.
Why did he die? Why did I drive him to the point of suicide? Why must I destroy or lose everything I've ever loved? This is all my fault, and I know it. He didn't want to live, and I'm the one who finally drove him over the edge in my pursuit to help him.
Where did I go wrong? Lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness, and I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life. How to save a life,
Now, I sit on that very cliff where I drove you to suicide. I stare at the moon. The same moon that shone down on us when I tried to save you. When I tried, and failed. It's been exactly a year now. Every day I visit your grave and bring you the same roses you would bring me.
The same sapphire blue roses that you would bring me daily, telling me you loved me. I now bring you those beautiful roses, telling you that I love him, even though you'll never hear it. For days, I sat on my bed, staring out the window, thinking of you. Wilting away from everything I had, just because you're gone.
Where did I go wrong?
I look to my bedside. Falchion's gleaming blade suddenly looks inviting.
I lost a friend,
I grab the hilt and pull it closer. I hold it outright in front of me. Had you not left, I wouldn't want to die. I would be safe in your arms.
Somewhere along in the bitterness.
The bitterness you somehow came to call home. The bitterness I helped you succumb to that night, exactly one year ago.
And I would have stayed up all night.
I turn the blade to face my gut. I press the tip into my clothing. It's time to end this. I want to be with you again, I want to be in your arms, I want you to be happy. I want to see you. You were, and still are, my everything. I can't cope knowing I killed you, even if I wasn't the one who drove the blade into your chest.
I can never go back. Never. But that's okay. Now, I will be with you again. Will you still want me, despite the grief I inflicted upon you? I throw away every thought and drive the blade into my stomach. Hot blood wells up immediately and my vision blurs in and out.
I hope I've made the right decision. I didn't make the right one with you, but I've decided to try again. I feel my hands slip from the blade's handle. They drop beside me as my vision goes out completely. I'll never regret my choice, but I'll always remember. Always remember what I did to you.
Had I known,
I'm sorry Merric, I never wanted to hurt you or make you want to die. I don't know where I went wrong; I don't know what I did.
How to save a life.
I'm sorry.
Song, How To Save A Life, by The Fray! Love this song! Now, playing Shadow Dragon, I always thought MerricxMarth would be adorable, but I never thought I'd write this. 0.o But hey, here it is, and please review! Btw, when I was writing this, I couldn't keep the tears away! I almost died a couple times…
