Disclaimer: Don't own any Lord of the Ring characters don't sue me please I
beg you.
Co-Written by: Me and friend and Cookie (aka Christine, but you don't know that)
A/N: I would just like to warn you that if you like Legolas you probably won't want to read this, and if you don't like parodies you shouldn't read this and of you like Aragorn you might now want to read this, BUT if you love Parodies and you love to make fun of Lotr characters you'll love this (or you should). Anyway here is the story....Poor Aragorn
Week 1
Dear Diary,
'Most people say living in the wild will make you paranoid... does it??? I mean everyone's just a little on the weird side at my house... I mean castle...no citadel...let's just call it Minas Tirith.' After the ring, war, thing I married Arwen life was good, but then I noticed that Galadriel moved in. I'm not sure why she moved in, people seem to think that I'm a little slow because I-I-I'm king, but they're just stupid, I have my sources. Who's next Elrond...
I-I-I just went with it.
A few months into the marriage, Legolas and Gimli came, they didn't leave so I think they took over a room. Not sure which one, I think they are sharing a room. I-I-I-I have been trying to avoid them, not sure if they are straight. Then Legolas disappeared off the face of Middle-Earth. A week later I got a postcard... whats a postcard??? That's what he said on the letter. It said something about winning a drag-queen contest... once again what's a drag-queen??? But Legolas says a lot of things... not sure what he's talking about anymore.
I didn't really like him.
As I was saying after they moved and left all, ALL the ladies, girls, females whatever dyed their hair blonde. I think Arwen was trying to confuse me. She is some-what evil, don't know what I saw in her. I mean come on she my cousin... 49 times removed, just a little messed up (just a little). She didn't tell me until the honeymoon, maybe that's why Elrond didn't want me to marry her.
To late now.
Lately I noticed the female part of the house... castle... Minas Tirith... let's call it lounge, anyway they have been plotting, people say I'm paranoid but I know... oh I know. They think they can out-smart me, but I'm a ranger... aren't I??? (looks around). I-I-I don't trust Arwen, I can't tell who's who. I could even kiss Eowyn... she would like that... I wouldn't would I??? I- I-I might of... by accident I didn't mean to, let's hope she doesn't find out. I think I might have kissed a guy but I'm not sure, everyone looks the same, especially the elf guys I'm not sure they are even men, and I grew up with the elves.
Stupid elves.
Today when I went to go play a card game in the game room everyone stopped talking now I'm sure they are plotting against me. All I heard was 'Estellio' I have no idea why they kept saying trust but I won't worry about that now because I plan too escape from this 'Lounge' today. I don't trust those woman as far as I can kick them, actually I trust them less.
I escape tonight.
~*~*A few days later*~*~ I tried to escape a few nights ago but some how those evil elf women Arwen and Galadriel stopped me...
////That Night\\\\\
I walked down the hallway and I had almost made it to the door out of this hell hole, when suddenly Galadriel stepped in front of me. I turned around to go the other way and Arwen was there. I was terrified; I was trapped by two powerful elvish women. Then I started talking to them and than I saw that Arwen had a dagger and the next thing I knew I was in bed with my side bandaged. I think Arwen stabbed me to keep me from escaping, but I'm not sure. I think she framed Glorfindel to take the blame for my wound.
Lucky bastard.
The other day I was teaching Faramir to read elvish, but he can't even read English. Did I forget to mention Faramir is a Took... you know Peregrin's son... a hobbit. Who the hell names their kid Peregrin. Anyway I decided to mess with Faramir's (Took) mind. Insert evil laugh. It was a good stress relief, now I see why Arwen likes to be evil. Faramir was reading elvish like
Line, squiggle, dot, line, line, dot, dot, line, star, squiggle, h thing, dot, dot, dot, line, star, squiggly line thing.
Oh that was very funny, it really said... I don't know, I can't really read elvish but no one knows, it's not like anyone can read elvish anymore except Arwen, but she doesn't count.
What a good day except for the evil elvish women.
Co-Written by: Me and friend and Cookie (aka Christine, but you don't know that)
A/N: I would just like to warn you that if you like Legolas you probably won't want to read this, and if you don't like parodies you shouldn't read this and of you like Aragorn you might now want to read this, BUT if you love Parodies and you love to make fun of Lotr characters you'll love this (or you should). Anyway here is the story....Poor Aragorn
Week 1
Dear Diary,
'Most people say living in the wild will make you paranoid... does it??? I mean everyone's just a little on the weird side at my house... I mean castle...no citadel...let's just call it Minas Tirith.' After the ring, war, thing I married Arwen life was good, but then I noticed that Galadriel moved in. I'm not sure why she moved in, people seem to think that I'm a little slow because I-I-I'm king, but they're just stupid, I have my sources. Who's next Elrond...
I-I-I just went with it.
A few months into the marriage, Legolas and Gimli came, they didn't leave so I think they took over a room. Not sure which one, I think they are sharing a room. I-I-I-I have been trying to avoid them, not sure if they are straight. Then Legolas disappeared off the face of Middle-Earth. A week later I got a postcard... whats a postcard??? That's what he said on the letter. It said something about winning a drag-queen contest... once again what's a drag-queen??? But Legolas says a lot of things... not sure what he's talking about anymore.
I didn't really like him.
As I was saying after they moved and left all, ALL the ladies, girls, females whatever dyed their hair blonde. I think Arwen was trying to confuse me. She is some-what evil, don't know what I saw in her. I mean come on she my cousin... 49 times removed, just a little messed up (just a little). She didn't tell me until the honeymoon, maybe that's why Elrond didn't want me to marry her.
To late now.
Lately I noticed the female part of the house... castle... Minas Tirith... let's call it lounge, anyway they have been plotting, people say I'm paranoid but I know... oh I know. They think they can out-smart me, but I'm a ranger... aren't I??? (looks around). I-I-I don't trust Arwen, I can't tell who's who. I could even kiss Eowyn... she would like that... I wouldn't would I??? I- I-I might of... by accident I didn't mean to, let's hope she doesn't find out. I think I might have kissed a guy but I'm not sure, everyone looks the same, especially the elf guys I'm not sure they are even men, and I grew up with the elves.
Stupid elves.
Today when I went to go play a card game in the game room everyone stopped talking now I'm sure they are plotting against me. All I heard was 'Estellio' I have no idea why they kept saying trust but I won't worry about that now because I plan too escape from this 'Lounge' today. I don't trust those woman as far as I can kick them, actually I trust them less.
I escape tonight.
~*~*A few days later*~*~ I tried to escape a few nights ago but some how those evil elf women Arwen and Galadriel stopped me...
////That Night\\\\\
I walked down the hallway and I had almost made it to the door out of this hell hole, when suddenly Galadriel stepped in front of me. I turned around to go the other way and Arwen was there. I was terrified; I was trapped by two powerful elvish women. Then I started talking to them and than I saw that Arwen had a dagger and the next thing I knew I was in bed with my side bandaged. I think Arwen stabbed me to keep me from escaping, but I'm not sure. I think she framed Glorfindel to take the blame for my wound.
Lucky bastard.
The other day I was teaching Faramir to read elvish, but he can't even read English. Did I forget to mention Faramir is a Took... you know Peregrin's son... a hobbit. Who the hell names their kid Peregrin. Anyway I decided to mess with Faramir's (Took) mind. Insert evil laugh. It was a good stress relief, now I see why Arwen likes to be evil. Faramir was reading elvish like
Line, squiggle, dot, line, line, dot, dot, line, star, squiggle, h thing, dot, dot, dot, line, star, squiggly line thing.
Oh that was very funny, it really said... I don't know, I can't really read elvish but no one knows, it's not like anyone can read elvish anymore except Arwen, but she doesn't count.
What a good day except for the evil elvish women.
