Stone wall. (Quick A/N: If you want this to really hit'cha listen to Alones or, Mayonaka no Ochestra by Aqua Timez. Hell basically anything from the kingdomhearts soundtrack works too)
ALSO: This is rated M for a reason Sexual content (Not descriptive lemons ...well eh it's hard to describe and swearing and emotional turmoil Not your cup of tea? Don't read I don't want you peeps upset with me ._.)
He was always told…no matter what to think positive and positive things would happen, and he believed that, with all of his heart. As he grew up he watched as more and more good deeds retuned almost nothing in return. Even after meeting her, nothing changed.
She was shy, sweet and held a composed yet interesting conversation. With him he was still in middle school at that time, but he knew he wanted her around more than anyone else, people would make fun of her because of her different eyes and every time Sora found out he'd start a fight to defend her.
He probably didn't realize it then but he did in high school how much he did indeed love his one true friend Yuna. He couldn't help but feel happy when he realized, that after all of his giving and giving he'd be able to tell her and finally get and give love he'd wanted.
They went to the last dance they'd have at the end of senior year, a ring in his pocket a feeling of resolve in his heart, he'd hope with everything it'd go okay – it wasn't an engagement ring mind you but a promise, that he'd marry her, and he'd make her as happy as he could he smiled as the songs came to a close and he was still holding her closely he felt…like if time froze here he could live with that, staring into her beautiful multi-colored eyes.
He took her away from the crowds outside and sat at a bench, she was looking off in the distance and he wanted her to look his way, he finally blurted out that he liked her; the rest was so rushed out and jumbled that she couldn't help but giggle. It was odd though, like one eye was sad that he said that but one was happy…as if half of her wanted him but another wanted another that he wasn't familiar with, she turned him down sadly, she felt bad she really did he could see it.
One eye cried for him that night, only one as the other gleamed with happiness as her boyfriend Tidus came up to them and wrapped his arms around the girl, he sat in awe, and let his hand travel to the aching feeling in his chest, it hurt so much when he spun her around she saw him, he smiled sadly but his eyes told a different story.
She felt sad, she really did, but she only loved him so much, the man she wanted was someone else, she felt different with him she felt ready to take the world, ready to do anything she could – get married, have a child, start a family and she wanted him around, she wanted her best friend there along with her for the ride. He still believed with everything that she'd turn his way, one day, and he thought it had finally come.
She was sad and he came to her aid, holding her well into the night as she cried out her frustrations and eventually, took her frustration out on him, kissing him, touching him, taking his innocence she was his first, and even if it was out of sadness or guilt it was enough he was happy. He was happy even when he woke up and found she wasn't there, he was happy when he went out and found her sitting with him again, he was happy until he heard her say she was sorry for that happening.
"You…were my first" He said it as if he didn't want her to know, he was vulnerable exposing everything to him she felt even more guilt
"Oh c'mon you had to have had someone…" She gained no response as he started to play with his neck collar a bit she stiffened.
"No one, you were my first…for everything, Yuna and I wouldn't want it any other way, I love you." He said it, deep down he knew she knew but he had to make it known to her with his words. She looked at him her head cocked to the side as if trying to gage his words
"Sora…you know I love…Tidus right? I mean yeah sure we had that night and as great as it was…it can't happen again, Sora my heart belongs to him" Sora winced, the familiar cracking of his heart was once again known to him as he reached for it trying to soothe it his body caved in on itself trying to alleviate himself of his pain but his hands couldn't reach this pain, it was in a place, he could never reach.
She had asked him to come to the wedding…he honestly didn't want to go, he felt he had no reason to go, but he did, he wanted to go there and yell I object run up to the altar tell Yuna to marry him instead and she'd smile and agree to, telling him that the love she had with Tidus was just a lie and she loved him all this time, but he lost his nerve.
Everyone there was either married themselves or dating someone, so when music came on, he was alone, his drink to keep him company. He had hoped at this time he'd be with the one person he loved since – he couldn't remember now, he'd been drinking more than his fair share and even the pain in his chest as he watched them kiss was dulled. She brought him to his car, as he sat there, trying to sober up before she left on her honeymoon. She couldn't let her best friend get hurt because of his own stupidity.
"You know," She started he looked at her his eyes clouded but that love he cared was still ever so present and it made it hard for her to talk
"You'll always be my best friend, Sora" He knew that, he'd always known but now that she was happy she said it as more of a way for him to get the hint that nothing would happen between them again.
"But…" Tears slid down his face as he looked out straight ahead, he finally turned to look at her his eyes, had tears threating to fall "I love you" Slow tears slid down his face he was again, exposing himself to her in ways he wouldn't to anyone else and she knew it, but she had to, she had to crush his hope his strong belief – she had to crush his heart and he was fighting her every step of the way.
"I know you do, but the man I love is waiting for me, I'm staying here to make sure you sober up, and I'll call you to make sure you get home, but after that, we need to take a break from each other, I have a life to start, you have one to find" Yuna said softly
"Don't" it came out as a soft whisper his tears fell faster and he looked like he did in middle school again – soft exposed and oh so vulnerable to her words, she could utterly destroy him because of how he felt.
"Please…don't" He choked back a sob even as the alcohol left his system he still felt his senses hadn't returned the only thing that did was the pain in his chest.
"I have to, Sora, I love him, and, I love you too, as my best friend" That word again, hurt more than any punch or stab he'd taken he huddled closer to himself trying more than anything to block out her words, as if, as if he had some barrier within himself that would block out her words.
"Please…don't leave me, Yunie" Her old bet name he'd always call her that the night they made love she was Yuna, not his crush Yunie he'd always call her that and she enjoyed the nickname but after that night she was Yuna, as if deciding for himself that he'd take her seriously as the person he loved.
She knew what those words meant, he wanted her, to stay with him, assert herself and force him in the passenger's seat, only after forcing herself on him like she did three years ago and they'd go back to his house and talk play around, laugh and eventually, she'd realize he was the one for her, tell Tidus it was over and finally marry him instead.
" I have to Sora, I want to start my life-" She paused she felt him closing in on her, he was inches away from her face and she felt his breath, champagne evident and the prominent smell in her nostrils
"Start one with me, we spent the course of eight years together, and you haven't bothered to leave, you've taken everything I have to offer, and I…I can't let that go" he clung to her, but she didn't respond her ears numbed from the words she knew she'd have to speak to him and in a way she was relieved to say them.
"I don't love you, I love him, yes we had sex once I was weak and emotional from the argument I had with Tidus the night before, I will admit it was better than anything I've had with Tidus, but I don't feel that love with you that I do with him, I'll never be able to love you like I do him, now" She didn't bother to look him in the eyes
"I need to get going, I've left him alone for too long he'll start to get worried" He wanted to reach out, call out to her, tell her, something, anything…but he just sat there he knew he wasn't going to win he probably always knew. Even when he heard she was pregnant – true to her word she refused to contact him until she heard he moved on, he wasn't bitter, just no one was her and only when she gave birth – and days after while she was still in the hospital did she allow him to come see her.
She was even while looking tired so radiant and beautiful holding her newborn girl in her arms her name was Luna. It irked him seeing the tan skin Tidus had with hair Yuna had the baby shared his eyes also. The sun found its reason for burning and together with his wife and daughter the moon did they venture off leaving the sky behind, to fend for itself.
"She's cute," he said off-handedly She looked up at him her eyes held nothing for him – no glimmer of hope - not even care just…neutrality.
The pain in his chest never vanished from him as they grew happier and happier he grew bitter and bitter, as they couldn't afford a place to call home, Sora offered them his and they slept, the next room over from his where he could hear everything. Now, Tidus never did get Sora, but that was his girl's best friend and he wasn't going to argue that with her even if he was quiet he smacked him on the back and thanked him, he never did bother to get to know the brunette.
"Yeah, whatever" Sora muttered he still believed that his good deeds would pay off; he clung to that as his last tie to her. He'd sit up at night, the baby downstairs asleep, Sora'd normally get the infant to sleep and sit up drinking himself to sleep – the passionate nightly love making his only thing reminding him that – that girl wasn't his kid, Yuna wasn't his wife, and he'd been so alone, after that night he'd forgotten how to feel. When Tidus offered to help him find someone all he did was go and take care of his child.
"You know like sometime this week we can go to a bar, I'll play wingman and you can totally score a hot babe man I believe you can" But Sora could care less, he didn't need a woman for the night, he needed warmth – love, he wasn't some guy looking for just a lay.
He'd had urges he took care of them himself using that night he and his best friend shared as his encouragement unfortunately for him the woman of his affections one night walked in on this…activity he was buzzed but knew better than to make a pass at her, he froze unmoving, his back to her, instead of leaving she made her way in, and shut the door.
"See, this is why you need a girlfriend" She criticized
"Why, so they can come in and make those statements while I'm trying to relieve myself?" Sora shot back bitterly
"No, so she can relieve that for you," She responded moving over to his bed
"I don't need the help, I have all of it I need" She knew right away what he was talking about
"Sora…" She felt a little bad
"Now, if you're done, I'm trying to finish" Sora said the words a bit more harshly than he'd liked but when she didn't move he looked at her
"Continue all you want, I'm not leaving until you listen to me" Yuna's words like steel
"Yuna, you can't stay in here, I'm touching myself" Sora spat out as his shoulders hunched in self disgust
"Then finish, so we can talk" Yuna said nonchalantly
"Not with you in here I'm not" Sora growled
Feeling a little courageous she got up and walked in front of him a mischievous smirk on her face
"I said finish and I'm going to stand here till you do" Yuna's voice was more promiscuous than it should've and it made his loins as well as his heart ache.
He sighed and started again thinking about what that night years ago, her name slipped through his lips and she felt herself heat up she let her eyes trail down and she was glued to his moving hand and his quivering length, if she wasn't so loyal she would've leapt on him, the years…had been kind to him physically, she hadn't been emotionally. He finally relieved himself and she felt a longing that she knew was misplaced.
He sighed he knew his physical hunger wasn't complete but he'd deal with it another time pulling his lowered pants back up he sat legs crossed and his eyes slowly trailed up to meet hers. She felt as his gaze traveled all the things he'd want to do to her, had she not been spoken for and it made her shutter but she took a seat next to him none the less.
"Sora, I came in here to try and convince you to take Tidus up on his offer" Oh how Sora wanted to scoff at this bit he bit it back
"No." The word entered the room and she sat there confused "While you two stay up screwing, I take care of your daughter till she's asleep then drink myself asleep wishing that when I woke this would be a dream…I don't have time to bother trying to find another I'm taking care of your kid" Sora let the words take effect and she stiffened before taking a breath
"I never asked you to do that, and if that's so much of an issue, will leave you alone, we can find our own place and you won't have to see us again, is that what you want?!" tears fell she was using guilt against him, but she knew he wouldn't make her leave and it made him feel…hurt that she'd do this.
"Why would I ask that…you know…that I love you." He stated it in such a way that left no room for second guessing
"Now if you're done, I think you got a blonde to entertain" Sora whispered
"He's out for the night, Sora" She responded "He wanted you to go with him but you refused," Yuna sighed
"Well…I've kind of got a few more…things to take care of but when I'm done, we can stay up and watch movies until you fall asleep." Sora looked at her hopeful that she'd get the hint and leave him alone for a bit, already feeling...caged he felt that was the best word for it, trapped.
"How about this-" She smirked "You come watch movies with me and I'll snuggle with you until you fall asleep" That got him, they sat in his room watching movies – she like her husband shared in the sauce to relieve the stress she had built up over the months, the nightly intercourse was a stress reliever they've recently stopped having it for two weeks because Tidus was working often and too tired to appease his wife's needs and the movie Sora picked was one he hadn't actually watched but one he recently borrowed was one he got from his cousin, Van. He utterly regretted the choice it...was one of those cheesy slasher flics, but as the most recent ones have come to show it'd always start the same. Sex, Sora almost laughed at this his mind was so focused on the movie – to forget about his previous conversations – about everything he didn't notice her getting closer he didn't notice her clinging to him assuming It to just get comfortable. However…this was his fault, all his fault, his lapse in judgment, he didn't notice his fly down and he didn't notice her getting aroused to her defense, she was drunk, and in the dark, his tan skin was just like her husbands and his blue eyes…although more intense were just like her husbands, and if he grew his hair out, would just like the man before her she surmised.
"Ohhh.." the moan registered first in his mind before he looked down to see a lusty look in her eyes and her forcing herself on him riding him he knew he should push her off but the way she clung to him, and dug herself into his body made his ability to move impaired.
"Tidus, you've gotten so much bigger" If that wasn't an ego boost Sora didn't know what else was it weighed against her calling him Tidus he pretended not to notice it as she rode him until she couldn't go anymore and stopped rigidly her body tensing around him until she looked at him lazily.
"You made me finish faster this time" She pouted childishly he couldn't help but want to laugh
"Normally I egg you on with those loud words so you…feel better about it, during sex but I know it makes Sora upset" Yuna was having trouble keeping balance and her body started to rock back and forth because she wasn't holding onto him and almost unnoticeable moans left her throat
"I know you don't like doing it too much because you need your energy for work but I…" She paused as she hiccupped "Want you to fill me up tonight" She cooed as she began again slowly his mind told him to push her off again until the voice grew smaller and smaller until his mind was completely blank. He began thrusting back into her the hope – swell in his heart came back and he felt himself saying things he hoped he could since the last time this happened kissing her hard.
"You're…so…amazing tonight" She cooed she started riding him faster and faster screaming her head off at the pleasure she was feeling and Sora felt his ego shoot through the roof as she kept going.
This went on until about from what he remembered dawn. They started at midnight.
Sora was having the best day of his life, until he finally got up and went down stairs and checked the mail a man – a officer of the law was there asking him questions – asking him if he knew a blonde man about this tall about his age Sora looked confused.
"He left a bar bleeding last night and his car was last seen in a pileup we haven't found anything from him but his ID you'd best prepare for the worst." The man left afterwards
Now, he knew he should feel bad, he knew it but his body wanted to jump, his throat scream in joy and run up stairs and tell the girl he loved the man she was with was gone and proceed to continue his ravaging of his best friend from the night before. That's when it hit him and he felt horrible.
Yuna woke up confused and really sore without much thought she got up and stalked down stairs groaning as she did she stood at the last step looking at her best friend with confusion as he just stood there without movement.
"Sora, where's Tidus?" She asked as she stepped down slowly Sora almost wanted to laugh at how much trouble she was having because of him.
"He really did a number on me last night and I wanted to thank him in the morning but he wasn't there" She smiled and Sora's eyes – the happiness in them died and he remembered what he had to do, and what he had to tell her.
"Tidus didn't come home last night, you got drunk and…" he paused and sighed dreading having to say this, as much as he enjoyed her keeping him company with him the night before and how much of a release that he needed after years of waiting but it had to be done.
"We had sex, and Tidus was in an accident, all that was found was his ID, he was bleeding before the accident, and they haven't been able to locate him" Sora pushed the rest out of his mouth as Yuna's eyes changed with each piece of information. She ran to her room and wouldn't come out.
Sora did his best to get her to come out, and she didn't not until she was so drunk and emotional that she abused Sora's body again giving him attention he so desperately needed but no matter what, she'd always call him Tidus, and he always did his best to drown out that name as it'd do nothing but crush his heart.
This went on and only got more frequent – the love making, only when she was drunk she was so passionate and loving and do things with him he'd only dreamed of, when she was sober she was sad crying, she slept alone in her bed, Sora offered his company but she'd refuse, only when she was drunk would she accept him.
Only once out of desperation – sadness- and anger did she sleep with him when she was sober only to spite him, she'd berate him telling him he wasn't doing it like Tidus and you just love pounding this hole that he gave life to and it went on – he knew she was grieving but he got annoyed and the love making became just sex and when it became sex he made sure she couldn't say anything coherent as he made sure she was even more sore than before. He was tempted oh so tempted to spill himself inside her just to spite her but he couldn't he loved her, and he knew she wouldn't want to bare his child willingly, even after three years and Luna – her child assumed him to be her father and his heart swelled. Yuna, of course crushed her hopes telling her that the true father she had was missing.
It stung more than he'd like to admit but it was true she wasn't his, but she couldn't deny that he wasn't coming back, because…he wasn't, even though she'd end up in his bed, clinging to him, whispering his name, she used him because he loved her, she'd used his body because her husband couldn't ravish her, she used his love, because her husband couldn't. It had been another two years before she slowly began to love him, seeking him out at night sober holding each other at night and sharing sweet words of bliss during intimate nights.
They were becoming the family Sora always wanted to have, until Tidus came back, Sora and Yuna were finally trying to have a child together they woke up to an angry looking Tidus Sora sighed before the blonde lunged at him.
"So, you started fucking him now huh?!" He threw a punch that Sora easily guarded against and threw him off
"Dude, you've been gone for five fucking years did you expect her to wait?!" Sora shot out of bed glaring at his blonde counterpart
"Did you expect her to wait, to just give up on love and live the life of a widow at her age?!" He stood defiant, even as Yuna helped him get up, he threw her off
"You, how could you do this to me- to us?!" He made to make Sora taste blood and he sure did as he pushed him into the window and hit him his head now covered in blood, and blood dripping down his mouth. He was angry of course had every right to be, but Sora shot up ignoring the pain hit him once, twice, a few more and he was soon tasting blood, he was losing control of his composure. He turned away and angrily took his wife into the other room, that night, it began again like those years meant nothing to her and he had to live with it. Of course when Tidus would try and do something with Luna, she'd stray away, ignore his advances and favor Sora over her own father who – to her was just some stranger.
She'd listen to him laugh with him, smile at him and he was left feeling the stranger, the fights would always end up with yelling then sex, when they found out Yuna was expecting a drunk and giddy Tidus made the mistake of making stupid statements
"This kid'll love me as a father…n-not treat me like a stranger," He glared a bit at Sora "You took my kids love away from me and you had sex with my wife" Tidus stumbled a bit and Sora just looked at him annoyed
"She won't come when we do it anymore, those first few nights…I couldn't feel her, and she wasn't even making a single sound as we did it, you made that…that wall so much wider than it nee-d-ded to be, you fuck" Tidus slurred a bit trying to look the brunette in the eye.
"She wanted to have a happy family even with you gone, Tidus, we talked about having a kid, she may've agreed to but she never took that ring off, she loves you, my time with her Is over, get over it." He was aching his chest was shattered – his heart to be more precise he let himself break his own walls down he built and was now at this point and he hated himself for it he wanted the man to leave.
"I love her, not you, you don't love her at all, you're just jealous" Now, he crossed a line he wasn't okay with.
"Shut, the fuck up, you stupid blonde bastard, I've loved her for years I've given my home, money and everything I could to make her life better because I give and I gave to make her life better even at the cost of my own heart, the reason I never found a girl, I'd never love someone like I do her" He shot up inching closer to the blonde inebriated man screaming.
"Tell me I don't love her again, I fucking dare you, I will end your pitiful fucking existence right here and now" The blonde swallowed and swallowed hard as he made a choice to slowly leave and yell at his wife Sora sighed, stood up, walked out of his room walked into the room the two shared and promptly hit Tidus in the face, knocking him out for the rest of the night.
"I want you to keep this house" Sora said it, when Luna was at school they knew it was coming just, not when the fighting had gotten worse for the husband and wife and it didn't help he was there and he knew it
"Tidus makes enough money now, and I'm just in the way, you'll be better off"
"Don't" it was a choked sob she grabbed his hand
"You...you can't leave, Luna loves you and I need you" She looked away sadly
"Tidus is your husband, Yuna, not me, no matter how much you want me to stay; I can't…it hurts living like this…"
"Please, don't make me choose" She pleaded she forced her body against his in a hug something she wasn't able to do with Tidus in months now.
"You love him, Yuna" Sora said sadly
"I'm trying to love him…he won't even touch me anymore…" She said it in a way that offered him to explore her body, to make love to her again to tell her he loved her and she looked at him
"Just…for today, just today, and we can…we can discuss what to do tomorrow just please…please, touch me?" She cooed seductively
He gave in and gave her what she wanted, which didn't last long she was so deprived she was done in minutes leaving her to take care of him in oral ways that he wasn't expecting it was harder for her to do than she expected he wasn't…like Tidus but she still managed to satisfy him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm being selfish, I just…I know this wasn't great…"
"I love you" He said it out of the blue she almost didn't hear it
"And because of that, if you want to stay with me and raise Luna, I'll stay, if you want me to go, and you continue with Tidus, I'll leave you and never speak to you again, but this can't continue this way, Yuna" He looked at her as if searching for an answer in her eyes.
"You've had years to decide, So, decide, I'll be waiting here with my bags packed tomorrow, you tell me if I need to carry them out or not tomorrow" Sora walked into the kitchen to make a snack for the soon to be returning Luna, Tidus asked if Sora made him one to which he promptly spat a no and spent the rest of the day playing with the child.
Stone walls, Sora always hated them, he could never climb them no matter how much he tried and always fell and got hurt, his relationship with Yuna was just like that, he'd only get so far before he fell on his ass.
It didn't take long before Sora knew his words had no impact, what he didn't know was Tidus was frustrated and decided to slam Sora against his fated enemy a stone wall, a few times screaming words about his family and his wife and betraying him Sora never considered himself friends with the guy, Luna was the one who screamed at her biological father to stop when she found them that night. Yuna had just come home from another long night to find them in a situation that gave her the answer she needed.
It took Them another three weeks before he was forced out, it took them all but seconds for her to remove the ring and it took them two days before they started where they left off again and it took them two years to have a child A son this time, Yuna quickly decided his name before Sora could smirk
To a man they both respected a stone wall in a lot of ways but was kind at heart, that taught him, no matter how many good deeds you do, keep doing them because no matter how pointless, you'll get what you want in the end as he believed and as it stood, with the matching rings on his and his wife's fingers, he knew he was right.
"Cloud"
A/N: Sorry, this was…a spur of the moment kinda thing and honestly this is something I'm kinda going through but related it in the best way I could…a form of venting I suppose, but eh, I'm not too sure I'm proud of this or what but, hopefully you all enjoy this more than I did looking over it and feeling emotions I'd rather not…eh Lemme know what you think.
ALSO! The Name
Yuna = Night
Luna = moon
Tidus = Sun
Sora = sky
Cloud...is cloud I tried doing something that related to the names
