The minute Clara left the Tardis, the Doctor's face crumbled. All he could think about was how horrible he must be. He tried to show a Dalek beauty. He tried to make a Dalek better. He tried to show a Dalek that there was a reason to be good. Yet all Rusty saw was the anger. The hatred the Doctor felt for the Daleks. It took it's own life because of that hatred. Then it called him a good Dalek. At first he thought the idea was absurd. But thinking about it maybe Rusty was right. Maybe he was just like a good Dalek. Somewhere in the back of the Doctor's mind, he remembered a Dalek telling him once that he was a hateful person. He wondered distantly if maybe it was all true. Maybe the Doctor was a bad person. Evil. Hateful. A Dalek. The Doctor clutched the console tightly, feeling the negative feelings coursing through him. If Clara couldn't even assure him that he was a good man, who could? Because if Clara didn't know if he was a good man or not, he probably wasn't. Distantly, the Doctor could hear the Tardis trying to bring him out of his misery, and that just bothered him. Who was she to try to sooth him? She was just as bad as him really. She stole him, at least she claims she stole him. He could blame it on her. But it wasn't the Tardis's fault that the Doctor was so hateful. That was his own fault. Letting his head drop slightly, the Doctor pushed himself off the console of the Tardis, and moved to walk pointlessly down the halls of the tardis. He was in the Time Vortex. No one could miss him, if they didn't know he was missing and as long as Clara didn't know that he was gone, then no one would miss him.
With this thought going through the Doctor's mind, the Doctor began to walk down the halls of the Tardis, before freezing, because someone blocked his way. A young woman. Her hair was short, and blonde, and she was about as tall as Clara. She had a sad smile on her perfect beautiful little face, and she had a gold sort of tinge to her brown eyes. But something about her, about her union jack shirt, dark blue tight pants, and the way she simply looked at him, it was so familiar. Something from his past.
"How did you get in here?" The Doctor finally asked. The woman smiled at him lightly.
"I have a certain bond with the Tardis. She allowed me to come in," the woman finally replied, giving him a sad knowing look.
"I'm in the Time Vortex," the Doctor replied bluntly. The woman nodded.
"Yes, and the Tardis has been changed. Beautiful as always, but I miss how she used to look," the woman replied, looking around, as if this had been her home once upon a time.
"Who are you?" The Doctor asked, giving her an odd look. The woman turned back to him, smiling sadly.
"I was hoping you might remember me. But I really wasn't that important. Just a primitive ape really..." The woman replied, looking away from the Doctor for a moment, to wipe away a stray tear.
"That sounds very familiar," the Doctor muttered, stepping towards the woman.
"Look Doctor. I came here for a reason," the woman said, not wanting to get off track of why she had come here in the first place.
"You know who I am?" The woman sighed.
"Ask me what you asked Clara," she said, stepping towards him. He looked at her curiously.
"You know who Clara is," he said. The woman laughed.
"You were always hard to get through to," she said sounding a little tired. "Ask me what you asked Clara."
"Okay then," the Doctor said. "Am I a good man?" The woman smiled at him.
"Yes. You are a wonderful man, you really are," the woman said, feeling relieved. "I know a lot about you, and I can see that right now you are trying to drown in a puddle of misery. And I want to tell you right now, not to. Don't because you are a good person. You have done terrible things. I know. But you thought you had to. You thought that you had to do the stuff that you did, and you saved millions of people. Millions. Yes you killed people. You really did. But you did it for a good reason, and you always try not to just kill people. You try to save them." The girl smiled brightly, then her faced dropped and she looked down. "You saved me." A tear ran down her face, as she remembered something, and when she looked up her eyes were completely gold. Everything on her face said that the woman was desperate for her to believe him, that she cared about him, and seeing him like this hurt her. But her pain hurt him, and he didn't know why. He also didn't know why he believed her.
"You think I am a good man?" The Doctor asked incredulously, a bit of a smile beginning to show on his old, worn features.
"No. I know that you are a good man," the woman replied, giving the Doctor a tongue in tooth smile. The Doctor stepped back at that. He knew this woman. He really did. He wasn't sure where he knew her from but he knew her.
"Who are you?" The Doctor asked again, as he stared at the women. She dropped her smile.
"Someone who cares for you a lot. That's why I sent you Clara," the woman replied, looking down slightly. "You sent me someone, but I guess we were just sort of postponing the inevitable. Cause mine died and yours isn't assuring you very much."
"You're the women from the shop," the Doctor said looking at the woman in awe. She nodded.
"You have no idea. I had nothing, until I met you," the woman replied. Something about that sparked something in the Doctor's memory. He remembered a younger version of this women and an old man with large ears, and a grumpy attitude.
I've got no A-Levels, no job, no future... but I tell ya what I have got - Jericho Street Junior School - Under Sevens Gymnastic Team - I got the Bronze!
"Me?" The Doctor questioned. She shrugged.
"Well, not you really," she clarified. "Different you. Different face. Bigger ears." She smiled a bit and something else sparked in the Doctor's memory.
What did you say your name was?
I told you; The Doctor.
Yeah, but, Doctor what?
Just The Doctor.
The doctor?
Hello!
Is that meant to be impressive?
Sort of, yeah.
"So a different regeneration then?" The Doctor pried staring at the woman, and watching as her slowly turned brown again.
"Yeah. A past one. You won't remember him now. Your last regeneration spent his life forgetting," the woman replied matter-of-factly and all the Doctor could think was about how extraordinary this women really was.
They want to overthrow the Earth and destroy you. Do you believe me?
No.
But you're still listening.
"Really though. Who are you?" The Doctor asked. The woman smiled stepping close to him.
"I asked you that once," she sighed and then she grabbed the Doctor's hand, looking him straight in the eyes. "Do you know like we were saying, about the earth revolving? It's like when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world is turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cause everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it the turn of the earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour. The entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour. And I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world. And, if we let go..." With that she dropped the Doctor's hand. That's who I am. Now forget me, Doctor. Go home." With that she turned away, a golden light starting to engulf her retreating form. But the Doctor grabbed her wrist. He wasn't going to let this women leave him without solving the mystery of who she was.
"But you didn't leave did you?" She turned back and smiled at him, nodding.
"You are correct," she replied.
Run
The Doctor cringed inwardly at the memory of the two people running together hand in hand. Something inside him, missed that?
"Please. Just tell me who you are," the Doctor pleaded, not looking or sounding desperate, but it was a persuasive tactic.
"Rose Tyler," the woman sighed, looking away from him.
I'm the Doctor, by the way, what's your name?
Rose.
Nice to meet you, Rose, - run for yer life!
"Rose Tyler," the Doctor sighed contemptly, running the name over his tongue experimentally. It was familiar. She was familiar. Then he remembered. She was Rose Tyler.
Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas!
Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?
What?
Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?
Cuts himself shaving, does half an hour on life forms he's cleverer than
Right. There's a spaceship on the Thames and you're just wandering.
We've got a prisoner. The police box is really a police box.
But mostly, the Doctor remembered how much she loved the Doctor, and how much he loved her. Because he did. More then anything else in the Universe.
I could save the world, but lose you
"Rose..." The Doctor muttered, moving towards her. He remembered her. He really did. "You should be dead." Rose smiled.
"Well, you know me. Can't keep me away," she laughed, looking happy that the Doctor now remembered her. A few tears fell down Rose's face.
"No don't cry," the Doctor sighed. "I hate it when you cry." She smiled, and he smiled back. The Dalek was right. He was a good Dalek. He had a great hatred for the Daleks, he hated them with everything he had. But that was before her. Before Rose. Rose Tyler taught the Doctor how to love, and the Dalek couldn't see that because the Doctor couldn't remember. But now he did and he was a new man. He could say it now. But he had a question first. "Why did you send Clara to me?" Rose looked down, slightly embarrassed.
"I wanted you to be happy Doctor. I thought, that I couldn't make you as happy as someone else could. So I sent you her. Your impossible girl," Rose replied. The Doctor grinned.
"That's such a silly nickname. But, rather accurate." Rose laughed, and looked at the Doctor.
"I love you," she gasped. The Doctor smiled.
"I love you too Rose Tyler," he replied. Rose looked surprised, staring up at him.
"You said it?" It wasn't really a question though. More like a statement.
"I'm a new man Rose Tyler," he replied.
"My new new new Doctor," Rose replied.
"Am I a good man Rose Tyler?" The Doctor asked, looking away from Rose. She stepped towards him, tilting his head towards her, and kissing him lightly on the lips.
"Yes. Yes, you are."
Author's Note:
I came up with this while watching the new Doctor Who episode, Into the Dalek. It was a good episode, and all I could think about was how horrible the Doctor must be feeling. Because he seemed so miserable, and the fact that Clara said she wasn't sure if he was a good man or not, it killed me. Because he is a goof man. So I got to thinking, who would know if the Doctor was a good man or not, and tell him, and of course. Perfect, sweet little Rose came to my mind. Because she would have known what to say. But then again in my world, she couldn't so much of anything wrong.
