Alex has been drowning his entire life. It's as though he's been swimming towards land all these years, just trying to stay afloat long enough to break shore.

When he was little, he had this recurring nightmare. In the dream, he and Jeep would be at the house they would sometimes escape to to play basketball, or shoot the tree. Out of nowhere, these terrifying silhouettes would scuttle crablike over the roof and dive at them with gaping maws and bloody teeth.

Alex would wake up gasping.

His father would come into his room and curl up on the bed with him, and tell him not to worry. He wasn't going anywhere.

And Alex would breathe easy again.

. .


When Alex is ten, his nightmare becomes horrifyingly real.

The attack at the house comes suddenly, and is over just as quickly. His father's call for the medkit stalls his breath, and the eight-ball waiting for him on the other side of the door steals it completely.

With the angel dead on the floor, and Alex is tucked under Jeep's bloodied arms, his father promises to never leave him. He clings to his father in desperate relief and believes his vow to be unbreakable.

Alex could breathe again.

. .


When Alex is eleven, Jeep breaks the only promise he ever made to his son.

Alex chokes on the rising water.

. .


At twelve, he's barely getting by on what others can spare. He's lucky if he eats something once every other day, and as a V1, there's nowhere safe to sleep. Hands grabbing him (where no adult should) teach him to run through the hidden spaces of Vega. The older kids, twisted by their situation, hold him down when they manage to catch him and teach him what it means to fight dirty.

Of all these lessons, though, it's Ethan who provides the one of most service.

Two older boys managed to trap Alex in a blind alley when he was careless, and demanded services he was unwilling to render. Before they could lay a hand on him, another kid with dark hair and a bright smile joined the quarrel, and the two of them had his attackers running for the hills in seconds. He introduced himself as Ethan, that he heard Alex knew a way into the V3 sector, and could he please show him where? That day Alex gained a friend and a powerful protector.

Alex learns the value of being useful.

A year later, he knows all the tricks and more secret roads than any before him. At thirteen, he is integral to the smuggling networks and so useful to the V1 community he's untouchable.

The waves are picking up, but Alex has learned the timing for catching the odd lungful of air.

. .


Alex is fourteen now and has climbed to the top of the orphan food chain. He knows where to get food when he needs it, and knows where to sleep without fear (mostly). Ethan always has his back, and vice versa, and they both found the rarest commodity: a loyal friend. It's the richest he's been since before…since Before.

One day, he comes across an eleven-year-old girl with sweet braids tied off by ribbons and a fresh membership into the V1 club. She's looks thin and haggard, and so very tired. Her name is Ari; she's lucky to eat something every other day, and she's too terrified to sleep (rightfully so), and all Alex sees in her face are his own eyes staring back. He looks around for the first time in years, and remembers there are children who need help, just as he did.

Alex ventures outside the city walls for the first time since Jeep died. The guards are so busy watching the skies that they don't pay attention to the ground. He makes his way to the distant strip by skirting piles of rubble and staying off the roads. Night falls and he's holed up, shivering, in some rusted, overturned car to wait out the dark, and the morning finds him scavenging the demolished hotels. He manages to return to Vega by the next evening, victorious. Ethan helps him hock the loot, buying much needed rations, medicines, and clothing. This becomes a regular thing, and six months later, Alex is the main source of provisions for the orphans of Vega.

He's still trying to swim, but it's harder to stay afloat with so many people on his back.

. .


At fifteen, Alex learns about loss. He already knew it from Before, but this is an entirely different beast.

He finds Ari's bruised and naked body in a dumpster, her adorable braids filthy and wide eyes vacant. Cause of death is painfully obvious. After puking his guts up all over the concrete, he grabs Ethan to help him clean and clothe the body because he cannot bear this alone. They gather the few who were close to her and send her off amidst a pyre of burning tables and chairs in some nameless alley. When the Blues come to track down the spiraling fumes, it's all Ethan can do to drag Alex away.

The funeral smoke curls bitter in the back of his mouth because dead orphans don't warrant an investigation. All they get is a funeral that burns them with other people's garbage.

Everyone knows the sick fuck who did it. No one will touch him because the bastard is a V2 soldier and he trades to them the really good stuff he steals from various Tops. The smugglers find him useful enough to look the other way. They traded a little girl for polo cologne and scotch, and Alex is sick to his stomach for the hate of them all. He's doesn't eat very much, and won't take his eyes from the remaining kids he tries so hard to protect.

Ethan watches on as he slowly self-destructs with carelessness born of exhaustion and takes matters into his own hands. Killing a man is easier than he thought it would be, as he later tells Alex. All it takes in the end is slipping a long needle between the ribs as he passes by on the street. Ethan is far out of sight when his victim collapses.

Ethan, his dearest friend and protector, takes blood on his hands so Alex wouldn't have to. Alex learns what sacrifice is when he holds Ethan through his new nightmares. He learns 'brother' when Ethan says he'd do it the same all over again, so long as it spared Alex.

He's swimming hard, and he sinks every now and then from the weight of all those depending on him, but Ethan grabs his arm and starts paddling. They just manage to keep each other above water.

. .


When Ethan and Alex turn sixteen, there's a dramatic influx of V1s. New Delphi must have gone nuts because the ranks of Alex's orphans double in number from the runners who've sought asylum in Vega. There's not enough to go around and the Tops won't spare additional rations to the lowest caste, despite their growing population. It's like he's twelve again, helpless and overwhelmed, and he thinks he might cry.

Alex can only carry so much from his scavenging trips. Ethan can't come with him as they're both unwilling to leave their kids unsupervised after Ari, so they search for another solution. The obvious answer is a car; it carries more and would cut travel time in half, but there aren't any that Alex can find abandoned on the roads.

That only leaves one place to get it.

When he tells Ethan he's enlisting as a soldier, and not to worry because he'll get them the four-wheel access they need, Ethan just flashes a grin like sunshine and asks him when they should go sign up. He does cry then.

More hands are pulling at them than ever before, but they somehow manage to keep swimming.

. .


To be an enlisted soldier, well, it sucks. But they've never had more rations to their name, and the medical care makes it worth it. They can't afford to change their diet-every bit extra goes to their anti-starvation fund for orphans-so they train and, eventually, do their jobs on the morning meal alone. They've already conditioned their stomachs out of hunger, anyway.

Alex is quick to figure the few ways a car can leave undetected, and soon he's making supply runs again. If the children get sick or injured, the two will rough each other up enough to warrant a trip to the infirmary where they can swipe some meds.

The worst part, though, took them both by surprise. Being assigned different bunk units meant sleeping alone, something neither had done since they met, while surrounded by strangers. Ethan would wake up the whole dorm when he cried out in his sleep, and Alex would stumble over a mile of boots and bags to reach him. After a couple of sleepless weeks, it became an unspoken rule to ignore it if one of their bunks was empty; they would invariably be found curled around one another across the room.

Things aren't really good, but the kids aren't starving on their watch anymore, so it's good enough to get by.

Ethan and Alex just barely have their noses above water, but they think they see land in the distance.

. .


They are seventeen when things start to settle into a routine, so of course something has to fall apart. The smugglers figure out just who knocked off their best high-end supplier almost two years after the fact. Ethan comes back from sneaking provisions to the children with three cracked ribs, blackened eyes, and bruises coating his chest like paint. At the sight, Alex grips the cool metal of his service pistol and fights against Ethan's attempt to pry it away from his fingers. Ethan is unsuccessful until he reveals the rest of the threat.

"If we don't find them another contact, they say they won't trade to the kids or let them pass freely in their areas anymore."

He and Alex sit down together after that and figure out how to be thieves; they get clever real quick about snatching trim from the Tops, and worry themselves sick over getting caught. The next morning, Ethan snags his first bit of pretty from the dresser of an oblivious politician: a blue bottle of cologne with a ridiculous picture of a club-bearing man riding a horse. On Alex's next run, he leaves behind two cans of pineapples they really need in order to fit a bottle of merlot into his jeep.

Things just go downhill from there. With this new demand for supplies, and the many commitments for their time, they can barely provide themselves and their merry band of homeless kids with the necessities of life. All the risks they now take have no reward, and are costing them more than ever. The only break they get are some of the oldest kids finding work that raised them to V2; some enlist, and some get lucky with the service industry, and it's fewer mouths to feed.

They manage to stretch the supplies for now, but something's going to give soon.

The water is churning, and they've been swept back up into a harsh current. The fear of drowning has crept back into Alex's lungs, and all he and Ethan can do is hold on tight. They don't glimpse land for a long time after that.

. .


This time, it's Alex who causes the problem. He and Ethan have so tightly entwined their lives together that every choice they make effects them both. Even though he hates himself for dragging trouble to Ethan's doorstep, he'd do it all over again the same.

He's having to scout further down the strip these days to find anything of use. In the penthouse of the Monte Carlo Resort, Alex is bagging a vial of Chanel perfume and the lavender soap. Exiting the bathroom, he's about to raid the liquor cabinet when he hears a quiet gasp from near the closet.

Drawing his service pistol, he slowly approaches the door. The closer he gets, the more breathing he can hear. Ripping the door open, he is met with a terrified shriek and the biggest blue eyes he's ever seen before. Crouched in the corner, hugging her knees, is a little blonde girl as pale as the moon and so obviously malnourished. Alex puts his gun away and coaxes her from her bolthole. She says her name is Bixby; that her parents were killed by eight-balls, and he wonders just how fucked up is New Delphi to have all these people fleeing to Vega of all places. She's been hiding here alone for a week, and when she wraps her sparrow arms around his neck, he knows he's not leaving her behind.

He can fit the Chanel perfume and a small bottle of vodka into his pockets, but there won't be room for more now that he's found another kid. This is the last time Alex will be able to sneak out for the next three weeks, and it's not going to be enough to feed his orphans this month.

Alex can't meet Ethan's eyes when he brings home a Bixby instead of a good haul. But Ethan just flicks him between his eyes and cracks a joke about Alex always bringing home strays, and it's about time he found Ethan a pet cat anyway.

Bixby simply adores Ethan after that.

Midnight finds Alex and Ethan sitting forlornly at the base of their shared lockers, thighs and shoulders pressed together. They've counted out their stash of rations, estimated the coming take from the smugglers network, and the best they can do is stretch it out two weeks, maybe three if they get lucky.

They've been riding the edge for too long. At eighteen years of age, the entire orphan population of Vega relies on the two of them for survival because nobody else is paying attention, and the end of the line is coming fast.

"We'll just have to figure something out…"

They take a deep breath as the water slowly closes over their heads, and they start to sink together.

. .


This time, it's Ethan who fixes the problem. Three days later, he comes to Alex with two words on his lips: Archangel Corps.

A limited number of slots have opened, and all applicants are welcome. AACorps soldiers receive additional rations on top of the V2 standards, basic medical training and first response medkits, and, best of all, they guard the V5s and V6s. Not only would they get access to better junk to trade (and more of it), but the advanced first aid could allow them to treat most of their orphan's basic ailments instead of paying for a doctor.

Ethan and Alex show up together, and are put through their paces like show dogs. They hold their own in the combat simulations and excel at marksmanship, but the physical examination is a problem. They've been subsisting on as little as possible for a long time, and it shows. The endurance test kills them, and their muscle mass just can't compete with the others who eat three meals a day.

Neither of them are optimistic about their chances.

Stretched out next to a slumbering Ethan, Alex stares at the underside of the top bunk, and ponders their situation. As isolated as they've kept themselves, no one knows them well enough to cover Alex's job for him. If he skips his shift to make a supply run, he runs the risk of reassignment. They can't afford to lose his rations if Alex gets himself washed back to V1. But if his children are starving, there may not be a choice.

Alex doesn't sleep that night, or the next.

Two days after their screening, Alex returns to his bunk and finds a thick envelope waiting for him. Stark relief flows through him at the sight of "Congratulations on your acceptance". There's a stack of paper inside for him to sign and return, but he wants to tell Ethan first. He rushes over to the other's bed and is greeted by the inconceivable: Alex was in, but Ethan was not.

Ethan tells him to join anyway—"It's the right thing to do, Alex", "We need the supplies, Alex", and "It's the best chance for you, Alex" is the gist of it. Alex's reply? "Fuck the Archangel, he's too stupid to live."

Alex lets Bixby draw whatever cartoon shit she wants all over the contract and returns to sender. When Ethan can only give Bixby a handful of almonds, he looks like he might cry. Later that night he does cry to Alex, and berates himself for not being good enough for AACorps, and hates how thankful he is that Alex is staying with him. Alex just tells him to stop acting dumb as an archangel, because they're brothers and there is no Alex without Ethan.

EthanandAlex are trying to hold their breath long enough to swim back to the surface, but it seems so very far away.

. .


Another two days, and Alex finds another envelope. It's the same congratulatory letter and contract and he doesn't quite know what to make of that. He gives it to Bixby again for scribbling, and even adds his own little cartoon Michael because he's feeling passive aggressive. Returns to sender, and Alex washes his hands of it.

Except there's another one the next day.

They spend the whole week drawing whatever pops into their head-even Ethan starts joining in-and sending that day's contract back into the ether. All in all, it's a good bonding exercise for the three of them, and good times can be few and far between.

Which is why Alex, when approached by the archangel himself, looks into that cold face for the first time and thinks, 'totally worth it.'

"Alex Lannon, you have been accepted into Archangel Core, and yet I am informed you have yet to return your contract." Michael doesn't bother with introductions-it's obvious who he is.

Which is why Alex has to wonder, "Is it normal for you to follow up on wayward paperwork?"

Michael's expression turns sharp. "I take a personal interest in all my soldiers."

"That's…attentive of you, sir. I'm sorry that your trip down here was wasted, but I have turned down the offer." The archangel blinks, and slowly cants his head to the right in consideration.

"You are aware this assignment warrants you greater privileges?" And that hits too close to home for Alex. He knows what he's turning down, and what it'll mean for his kids. Alex also knows that Michael can't realize what a jab that is, but he still resents him for it a little.

"Yes, sir, I am aware." If Michael is bothered by his frosty tone, it doesn't show.

"Then why do you not wish to join?" Alex hesitates a moment, and then takes a chance.

"My friend Ethan was rejected." Alex shrugs. "I'm not going anywhere without him." The archangel stares at him, nods, and then walks away. He doesn't bother with farewell.

The end of Alex's shift brings him another copy of the contract, but this time, Ethan has one as well. They pack their bags and sign on the dotted line. Alex still draws his cartoon Michael with squiggly wings right in the middle of the paper, just because.

AlexandEthan break the surface and can finally breathe again.