A Thousand Dreams
Somewhere in this big old world
He's out there...
The boy in the picture. He's here. I just know it. It has to be him, the dark chocolate eyes peering back at me.
He looks confused; a question mark is his expression.
But not mine. I know that from the first moment I saw him, he would be mine.
"May I help you?" he politely asks.
I couldn't help it. I had to jump up and squeeze him as hard as I could as if my life depended on it.
Of course, it didn't but the moment I wrapped my arms around him, I felt warmness like no other.
Like all happy moments, they always have to end. The boy removed my arms from around his neck and cocked his head.
Don't just stand there, Chidori! Say something!
It took a while for me to regain my words. Yes, it was difficult because of the beautiful man, standing before me even though his expression held no warmth or possessed not much of a welcome; he still looked like heaven to me.
"Y-Yuhi Aogiri?" I managed to stammer out timidly.
"Um, that's me. Who are you?"
Before I could answer, a young girl stepped out and all of a sudden, my whole body froze over.
It's her. Every story has their conflict, right? Yes, it was just wonderful that my conflict had to be the pretty teenage girl standing before me.
She was not stunningly beautiful but I could tell by the way Yuhi looked at her the moment she walked into sight, he was enamored with her.
"Yuhi! You pedophile!" she exclaimed with fake horror in her voice. She was joking, of course, but apparently Yuhi became a bit defensive.
"What?! Me?! That's gross!" he blurted out loudly but nervously.
"Getting on some Lolita action there, eh?" a short woman with unusually large lips smiled.
"Stop it! She's just a kid!"
That did it, right there.
"Excuse me!" I interrupted before any of them could damage my ego anymore. "Are you this woman in the picture?"
The teenage girl took a good look at the photograph I held in my hand. She finally nodded. "My name's Aya," she stuck out her hand.
I couldn't help myself there. I admit, it was bratty and rude to say but I just could not contain myself. "Really? But the woman in here is beautiful and elegant and..."
Before I could finish my sentence, her smiling eyes no longer sparkled and she pulled her hand away swiftly and clenched her fists.
"Okay," she muttered. "That is the last straw."
"Aya, no!" Yuhi sprang forward and held the angry girl back as I giggled. Yuhi, there to save the day. It was adorable.
I peered up at him with excitement, never taking my eyes off him.
He noticed after a brief time and peered back quizzically.
Yes, that was the first time I ever laid eyes on him in person. And I must say...
It was love at first sight.
Call it cheesy, you may. But I knew what I felt.
You know that feeling when your heart beats fast the moment you see him but your heart also beats slower. That feeling where you lay eyes on him and everything around you becomes faded, except for him.
He didn't love me back. I knew that it would be nearly hopeless after seeing him chase after Aya like that.
And in a way, it was sort of sad.
But needless to say, I loved him anyways.
In this big old world,
He smiles, he frowns
He's up, he's down
Of course I've cried many times. Not in front of him though, that would have been pathetic.
I cried because I knew that no matter stars I wished upon, my dreams would not come true.
No, the stars don't hate me, and I won't consider myself an unlucky person. But in trying so hard, I realized that there are just some things you can't wish for.
No, I'm not a cynic or pessimistic.
It's just that after all this mayhem I have gone through along with everyone else; I've become...what's the word?
Realistic.
But sometimes reality does hurt. The truth that Yuhi does not love me like I love him. The truth that he is just like me.
We are two hopeless one-sided lovers. Just not with each other.
And it sometimes hurts, especially at night. When the stars are all up there in the dark purple sky, sometimes filled with lavender clouds, its almost as if there are thousands of dreams to be wished on, but I can't have any of them.
And at night, when he is sleeping, I can't help but quietly sneak in, just for a brief moment.
Maybe a few seconds to look at him, his sleeping face, and troubles washed away for the time being, I reach out to gently run my hand through his light brown hair.
I lean down, quietly and lightly whisper, "Watashi Wa Anata Ga Suki Desu"
Sometimes I wish he could hear me. But then again, I'm glad he can't.
I'll tell him someday, of course.
But not now. All I can do now is smile at the one I can never have and pretend it's just a hopeless crush.
It's more than that, Yuhi Aogiri. It's way more than that.
See all those stars in the sky? They're my dreams and wishes.
And I wish for you.
End.
