A/N: Warnings: Spoilers, Tidus-bashing and major crack ahead.
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Peaceful, nostalgic music floated in the air upon Yuna's departure from Besaid village. As the summoner and her entourage trailed further down the dusty road, Wakka and Lulu decided to scout ahead with Tidus, while Kimahri trailed behind with Yuna. Tidus was about to saying something annoying, per usual, when the scene around him froze, cracked, and broke into a million shards. Battle music from Out of No Where began playing in the nonexistent-background while three monsters conveniently appeared after all the shards flew by. Tidus blinked and yelled out something stupid.
"Wha-wha-what's going on? And what's with the music?"
Wakka was the first to reply. "I dunno, but it make you feel like fightin', ya?"
True to his word, Wakka took out his Beloved Blitzball that he presumably carries around with him everywhere and started bobbing up and down, presumably to get his blood pumping and his adrenaline running. To his surprise, Tidus found himself drawing his sword out from thin air, as he wasn't holding it awhile ago and his hoodie is way too small to store the thing unless Chappu customized his sword so that it contracted magically like Pokéballs, and he started bouncing back and forth, although a lot more avidly and energetically than Wakka.
"Let's kick some monster tail!" he cried annoyingly. With that, he proceeded to ram his sword into a flan, causing a white, two digit number to appear over the jiggling monster's body.
"Wow, I suck!" Tidus cried accurately.
Wakka hit Tidus on the head with the Beloved Blitzball.
"Ow, what the heck?!"
"Sorry, I was confused," lied Wakka. "And anyway, let Lu handle those jiggly one's. Only magic can hurt those guys."
Lulu suddenly shuffled backwards, Auron running forward taking her place.
"I beg to differ," was all he said just before wiping out all three enemies with a single swing of his sword.
Tidus sweatdropped. "Huh? Wha? But, you're not even supposed to be here until Luka!" His voice cracked at the end of his sentence to further emphasize the annoyingness of his entire being.
Auron took out a bag full of bullets. "I'm dead, I can do whatever I want." With that, he threw bullets at Tidus with his armpit-hairless arms until the star of the Zanarkand Abes was reduced to a twitching pulp.
And Auron laughed.
Fin
