Allen Walker. The beautiful white-haired destroyer of time… He's always smiling, though I've come to learn that the smile that he wears is a façade. It's not his true, lively, heart-lifting smile… The smile that I miss seems to have gone away, and has yet to return…

He looks up at me, his façade in full swing as he grins and gives a small, fake chuckle as we head to Germany for our next assignment. He used to show his true smile, but lately, he's been breaking. I can tell, though it seems that nobody else, not even Lenalee, can. I don't understand it. How can they not see it? How can they not feel it? His demeanor, his attitude, even his appearance have changed. His aura spits feelings of pain and sorrow, his reflections of life much more pessimistic than they used to be. He is much less talkative and much less sociable than he used to be. His body has become thin and he has bags under his eyes, showing his lack of eating and his lack of sleep.

"Kanda, you okay? You haven't insulted me once during this trip so far," the cursed boy quietly speaks, breaking the silence. I glance over at him with my usual glare, stopping and gazing at him. His Exorcist uniform is zipped, and his hood is up, casting shadows over his pale face and hair. His eyes reflect the same sorrow and pain as his aura, though they also emit some worry. He gazes at me curiously as I turn to face him.

"The question, Bean-Sprout, is whether or not you're okay." At this statement, Allen tilts his head, his god-awful fake smile widening.

"What do you mean? I'm just fine, like I always am."

"Stop lying!" I yell, finally letting my worry and anger break through my skin. I push him, pinning him to a tree, my hands on either side of the smaller male's head. He gazes up at me with some fear as I glare back. "You haven't been okay at all lately! Something's bothering you, and whatever it is, it's hurting you! Do you really think that I haven't noticed?! I'm not dense like the others, Short-Stack. You haven't been eating, you haven't been sleeping, and you've barely been speaking at all to anyone!" The boy beneath me is stunned, and I know that I struck a nerve when I see tears begin to well in his eyes and fall down his cheeks. I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself, and I speak again, my tone softer this time.

"What's going on?" I ask him. "What's hurting you? What happened to the stupidly-happy Shorty that me and everyone else knew?" I gently place my hand under his chin, carefully forcing him to look into my eyes with his reddened mercury orbs that were filled with his salty tears.

"Kanda…" he finally murmurs, his voice cracking. He looks away again after pushing my hand away from his face. "I… I'm alright. Nothing's going on…"

"Then explain your tears." The prophesized boy looks up at me again with his hurt-filled gaze, averting his eyes and biting his lip as he thinks of how to answer me.

"I… Lately, I…" he tries to speak, but stops as he inhales deeply, gathering his courage to let down one of his walls for me to see what lies beyond it. Patiently I wait, when finally, he opens his mouth again. "Kanda, lately I've been… thinking of… killing myself…" My eyes widen, and he continues, trembling. "I want to die, Kanda… I-I want to die…"

"But… Why…?" I can hardly believe it, and my voice, soft and quiet, amplifies the emotions that my expression shows. Surprise. Shock. Pain. Worry. I was at a loss for words…

"Because… I can't handle living the way I have been anymore, Kanda… I can just feel everyone's fear… Their hatred… Their malice… I feel it when they laugh at me with their eyes, when they cringe back when I try to get near them. I understand when I hear them whispering about me, slicing me open with their insults and words of hate… They want me to die just as much as I want me to die, Kanda… Because of what I am…"

"You're NOT a Noah, Allen. And nobody wants you to die, either." The boy laughed darkly at my words.

"You're wrong. You're never around at the order anymore because of how many missions you've been getting. You don't see the looks they give me. You don't hear their whispers. You don't-!" I couldn't handle listening to him speak anymore so I covered his lips with mine. His eyes were wide, and stayed that way even as I pulled away.

"Even if what you say is true, I don't want you to die, Allen," I say, using his name, "I love you even though you hate yourself." He gazed up at me with shock, murmuring a response.

"Kanda… I'm sorry… But, I won't be human for much longer, and-"

"Like Hell, Allen. I'll do everything that I can to make sure you never become a Noah. You have to believe in me. I will become your savior."

Well, this is chapter one of a decent-sized fic I'm starting... It's not going to be a very happy story, so beware!