A.N. Though I write a LOT, this is my first attempt at writing a fan fic for Bones. Let's hope I won't disappoint you all. So, here it is...Enjoy... and then maybe review?LOL
Disclaimer. I do not own Bones. Fox does. However if I did own Bones there wouldn't be that much sleeping around by a random FBI agent guy.
During her life Temperance Brennan had chosen to never even once disregard facts.
Strong, established proof that something did indeed occur led her undeniably to the truth she sought each time. Tentative variables such as psychology and intuition never entered the equation of the doctor's life and career.
Until this morning.
Sitting in her office in the Medico-legal lab, Temperance looked beyond the glass walls seeing none of the activities taking place. Her mind was still occupied by a single word. A fact peculiar in any case, however not this time.
Enough
That's all she kept thinking ―hearing― in her head echoing in different volumes, and voices each time.
For two years she had been ignoring the small alarmed voice inside her. For two years she had been letting each of her multiple defenses be torn down one by one, every time making her more and more vulnerable to one person: Booth.
From the very beginning she had seen in him almost everything she admired in a male: Strength, stability, capacity for emotion, honor and a code of ethics that matched her own.
And she had let him in. She had let him change her; granted not without a fight, but he had proven himself in that as well. She had thought she found her counterpart.
And waited.
Temperance had known he would need time to see her, the real her, so she waited and showed him in small ways that she already knew they matched. Every time he touched her, she let him, and even accepted his nickname for her, relishing it as a term of endearment. She had given him her complete trust…and her heart as an afterthought.
And now, two years later he was the same.
In those moments that the pull between them became irrefutable he was always the first to look away. Always the first to avoid any conversations about feelings and relationships. Ever declaring that he was her friend, drawing lines, and revoking them as "everything happens in time" as he told her. Sleeping with everyone he wasn't supposed to…except her.
Oh yes, Booth was always there for her. But she knew from the start that 'friends' was not all they'd ever be. Their potential was greater than that. They were compatible in almost every way, indicating towards the forever she always wanted and never wanted to admit.
Her father's trial would be starting in a few weeks and Booth came by more often than usual, updating her, giving her his support when she needed it.
And today, while contemplating this, she became furious. That's when the alarms started sounding in her head.
If she let herself give in another fraction of an inch to him then she'd be lost. She would become a fool, a much worse one than she had been for the past few years and this time it would last for the end of her days.
So that was it. Enough. She had to step back.
For as much as she trusted Booth with her life, she understood now that she shouldn't have done so with her heart. Maybe, after all, he wouldn't ever share her view of them. The facts proved that he didn't so far. She had chosen to ignore the facts and rely on intuition and observation.
And finally she admitted to herself. She had failed. The truth derived from the facts was that Temperance Brennan was Seeley Booth's friend and if that wasn't enough for her, she had to step back and become that friend. Only that friend; building up her walls again day by day, hoping that in time her feelings would be her own once more.
The course of action she would take was clear.
Now only to apply it.
A couple of hours later, her resolve firmly in place, Temperance stepped out in the lab to start working on a three hundred year-old specimen sent to her. Zack hovered above the table as she approached ready to work on their new project. She knew Hodgins was currently identifying particulates and soil from the area the remains had come from and Angela was forming what the native American might have looked like alive.
She was thankful for that. Angela would know in seconds that something was different. Even Temperance could feel her spine stretched straighter than usual, her eyes focusing completely of the remains, carefully avoiding looking into her colleagues' eyes. She knew everything would be apparent when Booth sooner or later showed up with a case, but she didn't want someone talking her out of her plan even before she set it in action.
"Male, late-forties, native American, cause of death…stab wound in the center of the chest- Zack, look at other wounds while I examine the fatal one." She heard her voice, sharper than usual but dismissed it. Right now it didn't even feel like it was her own voice, anyway.
"Yes, Dr. Brennan." Thankfully Zack seemed unaware of anything, so she proceeded examining the sternum while he worked on the rest of the body.
Time slipped past slowly after that and no more words were asked from her other than a few typical questions concerning work. Hodgins stayed out of sight and Angela hadn't made an appearance either as noon passed.
She was about to take a break and rest her aching neck in her office when looking up she spotted Angela coming out of her office…as well as Booth swiping his card and ascending on the platform. Cursing inwardly for what she knew now had become an even more difficult situation than it would have been she smiled at both of them.
"Hey, Booth. Another case?" Temperance observed Angela's easy manner of speaking to the FBI agent and filing the information for use in the immediate future.
"Nah, just came by to see how you people were doing. Finished paperwork and thought I'd get Bones and grab some lunch." He turned to Temperance then with a smile, which she returned though not as enthusiastically. "Ya finished here, Bones?"
"No, I still have a lot to do here, though I was about to take a break to go and write a little. Sorry, Booth." She offered what she hoped was an apologetic smile.
He walked towards her and grabbing her shoulders turned her to face her office giving her a little push forward. "Aw, come on, Bones, you can write later. I bet you haven't eaten all day. Take off the lab suit, go get your coat and I'll buy you an extra order of fries. How's that?"
Stepping away from his grip pointedly she turned and faced him once more. "No, Booth, I have to write." She emphasized each word. "My editor has given me a deadline. I can't ignore that," she replied pointedly and turned her back to his frowning look walking towards her office.
"Bones? Hey, Bones?" He followed her into her office, closing the door to Zack and Angela's curious looks. "Hey, is there something wrong?" he asked approaching the desk.
"No, everything's fine, why?"
"Okay…are you sure?"
She rolled her eyes and then turned to look at the screen, pretending to type a few lines. "Yes, I'm fine. Just busy," she almost snapped back, refusing to look at him again.
He cleared his throat then. "Okay. Well, we'll talk later, I guess." The confused tone of his voice, told her that he had noticed a difference in her. A fact which made her feel relieved and sad at the same time.
The plan was working.
The same evening when Temperance stayed awake in bed shifting through the day's events, trying to find a single hint that Booth was disappointed or even worried by her change in behaviour, she couldn't find any. She had on purpose avoided one of his calls and then answered the second one, making her tone sound absent, and not paying attention to the things he told her when in fact she actually listened to his every word searching for a hint of frustration or annoyance. She didn't find any.
Later when he had called again to ask her about a specific piece of information she hadn't allowed the usual small-talk as she found what he wanted and when she sent him the e-mail he needed, hang up without much preamble. Still nothing. The man hadn't found anything wrong.
Realizing that, tears came to her eyes. Not so much for the indifference he showed or the fact that maybe she hadn't made herself clear enough all this time. She cried because she knew that what she was trying to do would have results sooner or later. In time nothing of what she thought they had would be left. They would become what they always said they were. Just partners.
She cried because all was lost.
