A/N: it's late and i'm tired and i wrote this because i felt like i had to write it. It hasn't been proof-read and i'm not sure if it makes sense, so apologizing in advance for this!
Confrontations
Usagi stared at the clock at the Crown Parlor. Her untouched soda sat in front of her, perspiring, as she thought about Mamoru. It had been exactly two days since they had last spoken and exactly one week, seven hours and thirty-three minutes since she had fought Galaxia and brought her friends back.
"Usagi" Mamoru's familiar, comforting voice greeted her stoically. Usagi felt her heart drop; where had 'Usako' gone?
"Mamo-chan" she responded in a small voice.
Mamoru sat down in the seat opposite hers and when Usagi saw him she winced.
His skin was pale and his eyes appeared dull. His hair was ruffled and unkempt as though he hadn't touched it in days. Her eyes shifted to his clothing and widened in surprise. Mamoru was a well-kept, orderly man, so it was surprising to see the crinkled, half unbuttoned shirt untucked from a pair of plain black trousers.
He looked terrible.
"Are you okay?" slipped out of her before she could stop herself. Mamoru chuckled ruefully and ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up even more.
"I have been better, I will admit."
Usagi nodded downcast and they descended into silence. The night of Galaxia's defeat, she had lain in bed and imagined how wonderful life would be with Mamoru now that he had returned to her. She had planned on always been near him, spending days together at the park, staying up late chatting… so far they've had two conversations and one argument.
With a heavy sigh Mamoru pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Why did you call me here today Usagi?" he asked her quietly.
"You weren't talking to me!" Usagi exclaimed in anguish. Didn't anybody realise she was tired of this?! She was tired of fighting and problems and not being with her Mamo-chan. She wanted to be Usako the school-girl for a little while. Mamoru's face softened at her outburst and he sought to explain his withdrawn behaviour.
"I've been dead for ten months. Every time I close my eyes, I can still feel that heavy darkness weighing on my chest, the absolute loneliness of death and your soul crying out to me. But what could I do? Nothing. I was dead."
"You're back now." Usagi pointed out dully. Mamoru's words had tempered her. She was reminded that Mamoru was suffering too.
"I'm back now." He agreed, and after a pause added "But now you have Seiya."
The distaste with which he said Seiya's name didn't surprise Usagi. Not after the incident two days ago. They had now arrived at the crux of their problem and Usagi felt her heart constrict with terror. She couldn't lose Mamoru again.
"I-I don't want him." She stammered as tears pooled in her eyes but Mamoru wasn't looking at her.
He was staring down at his shaking clasped hands.
"Every day leading up to my flight to America I thought to myself, 'I can't leave Usako for this long, she'll find someone else'. In desperation I went and spoke to Minako and she said I was being ridiculous. You've loved me through lifetimes and I should trust you to love me even when I was gone. I realised how insecure I was behaving and knew I could trust you."
"You never called me or wrote me! I thought you had forgotten about me and was having too much fun in America!" Usagi explained.
Mamoru shook his head and took a deep shuddering breath.
"It's not that Usako,"
Usagi noted how he reverted back to his pet-name.
"I understand that. What hurts me the most is that you didn't have faith in me. You didn't question my silence. You just accepted that I had forgotten about you. Does my love mean nothing to you?"
Usagi sat in silence as she felt guilt building up.
"I always believed our love was strong enough to overcome even death itself but do you feel the same way?"
"Of course" Usagi replied forcefully.
Deep down she had known something terrible had happened to Mamoru but perhaps it had been easier to accept a lie than the truth.
"Even if you fall in love with another man, I will never love another woman Usako. I have never felt anything remotely similar to what I feel for you and I never will again and…and I always thought you felt the same." His voice broke on the last word and Usagi watched in horror as the man she loved broke down in tears in front of her for the first time.
Jumping outside of her booth, she hurried to his side and enveloped him in a hug. Mamoru's hot tears fell on her bare shoulders and his whole body shook with the heart-wrenching sobs. Usagi felt her own tears roll down her cheeks as she felt the utter misery radiating from him. Soon his tears subsided and nothing was left but gasps for air.
"You smell like home" he mumbled into the crook of her neck.
Usagi felt her heart break a little. Pulling away she forced Mamoru to look at her. His beautiful deep blue eyes were red shot from crying.
"I don't love Seiya like I love you." She whispered furiously.
"He was wrong when he said that he had replaced you in my heart. He was angry that I rejected him and lashed out. Please believe me Mamo-chan." She begged the black-haired man.
"Why do you love me?" he asked in a hoarse voice. Usagi was taken aback by the question but made to answer anyway.
"You are my better half. You bring out the best in me. You make my heart beat wildly when you call me Usako. Your kindness and intelligence, your empathy and passion. The way that no one except me knows just how deeply you feel things." She answered quietly.
Usagi grabbed his hand and placed it on her beating heart. It was thumping hard and fast against her chest.
"It only beats for you." She whispered in his hair. Mamoru brought her own hand to his heart and dropped his head to her shoulder again.
"It has only beaten for you."
Mamoru and Usagi lay on his bed, watching the sun set over Tokyo. Brilliant orange rays filled the room and Usagi felt better than she had in months.
"The pain of dying has never quite left. I've been having nightmares and panic attacks" Mamoru admitted to Usagi. Her head rested again his chest and her legs were entangled with his.
"I want to be happy but I'm still scared and then what Seiya said…the thought that you didn't love me pushed me over the edge…" he trailed off.
Usagi understood. She understood perfectly.
"I'm sorry" Mamoru apologised earnestly.
"When you left, I was so sad because I thought you had left me and then with the new enemy… Seiya was the friend I needed but he was never you. I shouldn't have doubted your love and you should never doubt mine. I will give you the strength to defeat your nightmares if you give me the strength to defeat mine"
Mamoru smiled. He would support Usagi to the very end.
"Growing up is hard" Usagi said with a sigh. Mamoru nuzzled her gently and murmured his agreement.
They laid together until the sun disappeared and the moon rose. Usagi crawled on top of him, her long hair falling around his face.
"Usako" Mamoru breathed as he tried memorise the love etched in every line of her face.
"Mamo-chan." Usagi smiled sweetly before dipping her head to kiss him languidly.
/\/\\
"You shouldn't have said that to Mamo-chan" Usagi said with her arms crossed and a slight frown on her face.
Seiya ducked his head in shame.
"I know I shouldn't have. I apologise." He said humbly.
He and the Starlights were leaving tomorrow to rejoin their princess but he couldn't leave without seeing Usagi once last time. They sat on a bench at the park where they had spent many good times together.
"It's not me that needs the apology." Usagi pointed out but she seemed satisfied with his regret.
Looking over her shoulder expectantly, her face brightened when she spotted her boyfriend approaching. Seiya's heart clenched at the sight of Usagi's happiness but accepted it with a resigned sigh.
"Hello Seiya" Mamoru greeted him with a polite yet distant tone.
Seiya gritted his teeth and decided to bite the bullet. For her.
"I am sorry for my words. They were out of anger and I regret them now." He apologised to Mamoru. Usagi gave him a big thumbs up and Mamoru accepted the apology graciously.
"Usako, Michiru's concert starts soon so don't take too long okay?" he reminded her gently, brushing a stray blonde curl from her face before walking towards to give Seiya and Usagi some privacy.
"You must be excited to return!" Usagi said with excitement on Seiya's behalf. Seiya shrugged half-heartedly.
"Yes and no. I am sad to be leaving this beautiful planet and it's even more beautiful queen."
He was rewarded for his compliment with a playful slap on the arm.
"Seiya!" Usagi warned but her eyes were filled with kindness.
Seiya stood up and offered Usagi his hand. He would miss this one greatly.
"Goodbye Odango Atama." He whispered in her ear as they hugged for the last time. Usagi sniffled once but held her smile as he walked away.
Seiya looked back only once he was sure Usagi was no longer watching his retreating back. Turning around, he smiled despite himself as he watched Usagi and Mamoru walk hand in hand, laughing and talking. She really was the brightest star in the universe.
(still potentially sorry)
