Drama on the Mount
Chapter 1
Hera's Strike
Hera stood alone in the white marble and gold halls of Olympus, poised
for a confrontation with her no-good husband, this was the fifth decade
he'd missed her birthday dinner and she was pissed. Just because he was
the ruler of Olympus didn't give him the right to go traipsing around
with every Pandora, Cyane and Megara that came his way.
Just then, Zeus walked in, interrupting Hera's festering thoughts of
resentment for the moment. "Hi honey, I'm home " said the King of the
Gods, blissful and ignorant. "My you look beautiful today, wife." added
Zeus, knowing something was wrong from the look on Hera's face, but not
quite sure what it was. Hera simply stood there unmoved, raised an
eyebrow incredulously and proceeded to flip her long, thick black locks
back with a gold-adorned hand before asking, "Where were you, Zeus?"in a
tone befitting her title as Queen of Olympus.
"Oh no, not this again," Zeus quietly whispered under his breath as he
tried to nonchalantly change the subject, "Hey I'm kinda hungry
babe...wanna make me a sandwich?"
Hera's regal grey eyes twitched as she responded, "No...I do not want to
make you a sandwich...babe. I want to know where you were. It was my
birthday yesterday and as usual you missed dinner with the family
despite the fact that I explicitly asked you not to."
"Is that what you're so pissy about? Jeez Hera, we're immortal," as Zeus
said this he laughed a little at how serious she was making this whole
thing, "What's one birthday?"
"It's not just one birthday, Zeus. It's you never being there as my
husband, never being there as the children's father, it's you lying in
filth with anything that moves...and sometimes even with things that
don't " admonished Hera, now livid at his blasé attitude.
Zeus had a goofy smirk plastered on his face as he thought about the
latest time he'd lain in filth... yesterday.
"Are you listening to me? " Hera's voice echoed and made the ground
shake a little.
"Ow...keep it down dear, I hear you," Zeus responded, "I don't want to,
but I do." he mumbled under his breath.
Unfortunately, Hera had heard this last part, she was of course a
Goddess and as such had excellent hearing.
"WHAT? Oh that's right, turn this around into a joke...that's all this
is to you, isn't it?" Hera asked, fully aware of the answer.
"So dear...how are the kids?" Zeus again tried to change the subject, as
he walked towards the kitchen.
Hera saw now that he wouldn't listen to words, so she closed her eyes
and summoned a powerful gust of wind which sent Zeus flying backwards
onto the ground, his head lying on the marble floor right next to Hera's
golden high-heeled sandals.
She knelt down and looked Zeus in the eyes, then said, "You can't get
away from me that easily dear. Do you really want to know how the
children are? Fine. I'll tell you. Ares is bullying Hermes who's still a
chronic bed-wetter, Athena's anti-social, Aphrodite's got crabs,
Hephaestus is still playing with fire, Hekate's cutting herself again,
Apollo and Artemis are both gay and Dionysus won't stay in rehab for
longer than a day."
"The twins are gay? Really?" Zeus, still on the floor, asked incredulously.
"Zeus...you're missing the point here entirely. I'm sick of supporting
this family by myself without your help...so I'm going on strike."
"Uh...strike?" asked Zeus, as if he didn't know what she meant.
"Yes, Zeus, a strike. I'm going to stay with my sister Demeter, Goddess
of the Harvest, she's in town for the 'Goodness Gracious Great Gourds of
Fire Festival' in Thrace. And I'm telling you right now Zeus, I'm not
coming back until you straighten up your act "
With this, Hera turned, her purple silk robe flowing behind her like a
wave as she went out to the terrace and boarded her gold chariot.
Zeus got up and could hear Iris her driver ask, "Ready Ms. Hera?"
"Yes, Iris," responded Hera.
Zeus attempted to get a glimpse of her through the window, but she
looked away as Iris whipped the peacocks pulling the chariot into action
and they flew away into the clouds.
He couldn't believe it, she was actually going through with this. In all
the millennia that they'd been married, Hera had threatened to walk out
on him literally thousands of times, but she'd never actually gone
through with it. Usually his humor and goofy smile were enough to charm
her into staying and forgetting about whatever nasty mess Zeus had
gotten himself into. But not this time.
