A Very Solitaire Christmas

Here is another holiday oneshot! This one is dedicated to everybody who reads Solitaire, because I think there are only precious few, what with Solitaire being a rather rare pairing (and often not well-written, what with me writing the vast majority of it so far XD).

But happy holidays!

x A Very Solitaire Christmas x 800 words x Niou x Shishido

'This isn't fucking funny, Marui.'

Shishido's voice was pained. This wasn't going the way it was supposed to.

So. It was Christmas. That was a good thing. He had a gift for Niou, his boyfriend. Another good thing. It was a present that he was sure Niou would like - Niou's friend Marui had helped him choose it.

That was where the good things ended.

'What?' the redhead asked cheerfully, a wide grin on his face - he was having far too much fun with this, Shishido decided. 'I know Niou better than you do, and I know he'll like this.'

'Like me, you mean,' Shishido grumbled, pulling down his dress for the nth time. 'This is humiliating.'

'Humiliating?' Marui asked with a raised eyebrow. 'Didn't think you'd know that word. Doesn't matter. It looks cute, though not too cute - your short hair isn't very nice with the maid outfit.'

One bad thing. Check. 'Why the hell do you have something like this anyway?' Shishido demanded, referring to the frilly abomination he was wearing.

'Maid café,' Marui replied with a resigned look. 'School festival, remember?'

Shishido just shook his head. 'I look stupid.'

'No,' Marui corrected, 'you look like a girl.'

Shishido mumbled something that sounded awfully like 'same thing' before stretching. Suddenly, Marui shielded his eyes.

'Agh. You're going to have to shave.'

'Excuse me?' Shishido said incredulously. Marui gestured at Shishido's still showing armpit hair.

'That's just nasty,' Marui said with a sniff. 'At least your legs are covered by the stockings, but this - this is just ew. I don't have any long-sleeved maid outfit so you're going to have to strip and shave.'

'Right here?' Shishido said in the same tone that he had spoken before. 'Are you serious?'

'You've got nothing I haven't seen before,' Marui replied, shrugging nonchalantly. 'I bet Akaya's got a better-'

'Just stop.' Shishido's face was red already, since he could guess what Marui was about to say. 'How does this shaving thing work?'

Marui rummaged through the tennis bag he had brought with him, and handed him a tube of shaving cream and a rather feminine-looking razor. 'Go. Just use my shower. I'm going to be out, so you just close the door behind you when you leave, okay?'

And Marui disappeared, leaving Shishido to figure out what the hell to do.

-

He rang the doorbell, calling up his imminent doom. He could hear the footsteps from the other side of the door and oh God why was he even here he should have left while he still could.

The door opened to reveal a rather sexy - no, Shishido didn't just think that. The door opened to show (reveal was far too ... revealing a word) Niou Masaharu, who had on a rather surprised expression.

And then it morphed into his usual smirk, as was to be expected. 'Ryou. Are you supposed to be my Christmas present?'

Shishido gritted his teeth and said exactly what Marui had told him to say. 'Merry Christmas, d-dear.'

Niou took one more look at Shishido and burst out laughing. 'Marui put you up to this, didn't he?'

Shishido nodded.

'Thanks, I guess. I bet it was pretty hard for you to fit in that dress.'

Shishido nodded.

'Good thing I didn't make that bet then. Or I'd have to buy Marui lunch tomorrow.'

Shishido nodded. And then thought over what Niou had just said.

'Wait, this was all for a bet?' Shishido asked angrily. 'What, do you think I'm your personal plaything?'

'Aren't you?' Niou asked nonchalantly, smirk only growing wider. 'And you look cute anyway, Shishido, if not a little bit stiff. Why are you holding your arms so tightly to your sides?'

Shishido paused, and then muttered, 'ItriedtoshaveandImessedupsomyarmpitshurt.'

'What? Say that again?'

'Ishavedforyouandmyarmpitsbled.'

'What?'

Shishido snapped. 'I shaved my armpits for you and it was all for some stupid bet, okay? And now they hurt!'

Niou stared at Shishido for a moment and then commented, 'My neighbour was outside, you know. I think she heard you.'

'I don't care,' Shishido retorted, feeling irritable. 'I went to all that trouble just for you-'

'All that trouble just for me?' Niou interrupted, a sly smile on his face. 'Aw, how sweet, Ryou. I suppose I should make it up to you, hm? My parents are out.'

Then, calling out to his neighbour, the trickster said in a loud voice, 'Tanaka-san, no voyeurism!'

The woman went back into her house in a snap.

'Now,' Niou said with the same sly smile, 'let's see if we can't put this Christmas present to some use, hm?' He pulled Shishido in and the door slammed shut loudly behind them.

-

And when Shishido left Niou's house the day after, he couldn't say that the shaving of his armpits was an altogether awful idea.

x owari

So, how was it? Awful? Pathetic? Funny? Too short? Whatever you think, please drop a review to say it - reviews are the fuel for my muse's automobile. ~awinchan