Touched


A/N: First, I want to say sorry that this is my first contribution to the Good Wife fandom. I wrote this April last year when I was in a not so good place, and found that writing helped. I'm only posting now because I'm in the process of putting all my fics in the one place. This fic is generally pretty reflective of my first experience of sexual assault, so I'm going to respond to any comments that might suggest that she was overreacting or unreasonably traumatised given what happened or whatever else, and I'm not going to be nice about it.

Set during season 5, at some point when Will is still mega-pissed at Alicia and co., and after Diane's suggested getting rid of Boyle. Sorry I'm a little fuzzy on when exactly that came up, but she isn't happy he's here. As this is my first Good Wife fic, please let me know if any of my characterisations or anything seem off! Thank you :)


"Mrs Florrick, how are you?" Alicia heard an unfortunately familiar Irish drawl from across the hall.

"Mr Boyle," she acknowledged.

"Please Alicia, call me Damien," he replied with a smirk, "I think we've reached that stage in our acquaintance."

She gave a forced smile. "Damien," she conceded, and began to walk away.

"Alicia, where are you going? I thought while you were at LG we could have a nice chat," he called after her.

"I'm sorry Damien, but right now I don't have time."

"Sure you do," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders, stroking her arm through her jacket.

She extricated herself from his grip and stared him dead in the eye. "Mr Boyle, you are not my friend, we will not chat, and I am going to have to ask you not to touch me."

"But just look at you Alicia, you want to be touched."

He grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the wall above her head, pressing his body against hers. She wanted to say something, but no sound would come out. He leaned in and kissed her neck, slowly working a trail up to that soft bit of skin before her jaw. Raising his face to her ear, he gruffly murmured, "I wish you didn't have that lipstick on. It's sexy as hell, but I hate to smudge it on that pretty little face of yours." Then his lips were on hers, and his tongue invaded her mouth. Alicia willed her body to co-operate with her; to fight back, to escape, to scream, to just try to get away – but to no avail. She was frozen and silent and desperate.

He pulled his lips from hers for a moment, and adjusted his hands so that only one arm pinned both of Alicia's against the wall by her wrists. His other hand he brought down against her body. "I like your suit, you really do look fabulous in red." Then he was once more pressing his mouth forcefully against her neck and face. His free hand travelled across each breast, groping as he went, then down her body. As he reached up under the hem of her skirt, Alicia started to panic. We are in a public hallway, there must be someone who will see us. But as his hand made it's way up the inside of her left leg, she had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that this would go unnoticed and unstopped by others. He stroked gently at the inner crease of her leg, then his fingers slowly made their way deeper and he was rubbing her through her undergarments in her most intimate place. Alicia's breath caught in fear, but he purposefully mistook it for arousal, and whispered, "Well if you like that, let's take it a step further, shall we?" He plunged his hand into her underwear, and slipped two fingers insider her. Alicia released a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding with a whimper, fighting back tears. He was rough and careless, and a third finger joined the rest. It hurt, and she felt uncomfortably stretched. He bit her neck as she kissed it, and she let out a soft sob. Minutes seemed to stretch for hours as he held her there, pressed against that wall. "I always did like you Alicia."

The sound of nearby footsteps interrupted him, causing Damien to release her and step away, but he looked her straight in the eye and licked his fingers as he did so.

"Alicia, it's been good to see you," he said as Diane rounded the corner. "I've very much enjoyed our chat." He turned and walked away in the direction from which Diane had come.

"Ms Lockhart," Alicia greeted.

"Mrs Florrick," Diane replied. She paused for a moment, noting the look on the other woman's face with mild concern. "Are you alright?"

Alicia let out a soft bark of laughter and willed herself to remain composed. "Yes, I'm fine." And she left.


"How did Damien Boyle get my cell number?" Alicia was standing in Diane Lockhart's office, and she was pissed.

"What?" Diane looked surprised. When Alicia had stormed into her office, completely disregarding reception and anyone who tried to stop her, Diane didn't know what she expected; but this was not it.

"Damien Boyle, your employee, has been sending me messages. I want to know how he got my number."

"What has he been saying?" Diane asked, out of one part curiosity and one part concern.

"That's not the point. Who gave it to him?" Alicia was fuming.

"I don't know, Alicia." Diane's voice was gentle and sympathetic. "Does this have anything to do with what happened when I ran into you two the other day? Don't tell me you were fine, I saw you, you were not okay."

As she heard that, something in Alicia seemed to break, all her anger drained out of her. She sank into her seat, and staring into the distance, she replied with a shaking voice, "Yes."

"What happened, Alicia?" Her voice was soft, concerned.

She shook her head.

"Please, talk to me."

"He-" she started but her voice caught. She took a deep breath and tried again. "He assaulted me."

"How?" Diane asked gently.

"He was kissing me, and touching me, and his fingers… they were inside me." Alicia's voice was soft, and her words disjointed, as if she didn't know how to say them. Her eyes glazed with unshed tears. "It hurt. He hurt me."

Diane's heart ached for the woman in front of her. She had needed to grow her confidence over the years, and Diane had watched it happen, but Alicia had never seemed so vulnerable, so utterly broken, as she did in that moment.

"And the messages? What did they say?" Diane softly prompted.

"He asked about my sexual history and experiences, how soon I expected to see him again, whether I liked it, and he made some inappropriate comments about my body." Alicia's speaking was again almost as normal, if hesitant, but she was still staring over Diane's shoulder, glassy-eyed and a vacant expression on her face.

"Have you gone to the police?"

"No," Alicia seemed to return to herself. "That would attract attention and publicity I don't want to deal with."

"Alicia, is it okay if we tell Will? I want that man fired, but it would be easier if I could make sure there's no resistance. I don't want Will to protect him." Even with her difficult request, Diane somehow managed to maker her voice sound comforting.

"Diane," Alicia gave the other woman a pleading look. She was conflicted; Will was the last person she'd like to know about what happened, but Diane made a valid point. She had ongoing cases that would involve dealings with Damien, which is something she would very much like to avoid. Making up her mind, she nodded. "Yes. Bring him in."

Diane stood up, and caught Will's eye through their glass office walls. She motioned for him to join her in her office, and he complied.

"Mrs Florrick," he greeted her coldly. "Diane, what's this about?"

"I want to fire Damien Boyle."

"We've already had this conversation, Diane, and does she really need to be here for this?" he motioned at Alicia.

"Alicia, can you tell Will what happened when you came in last week?" Diane asked kindly.

"I was here for the deposition, and Mr Boyle ran into me in a hallway as I was leaving. He was behaving inappropriately towards me, so I asked him not to touch me. He responded by telling me that I wanted to be touched, then he assaulted me." Any bitterness and coldness and anger that Will felt towards Alicia in that moment, hearing her voice crack at the word 'assaulted', vanished, worry taking its place.

He clenched his teeth, willing himself to control the rage that was swelling up in his chest. "What did he do to you?"

"He kissed me on my neck and on my face, and he used his fingers to violate me." Her eyes threatened to spill tears, but she knew none would fall. In spite of all that had happened, Alicia's body has refused to let her cry. "And he's been sending me sexual texts since."

Whatever Will had expected, that wasn't it. A new anger was building inside him, and he had no desire to quell it. "Everything will be alright, Alicia," he said. "Excuse me a moment."

Will then walked calmly out of Diane's office, to where he could see Damien talking to David Lee nearby. He spun the man to face him by his shoulder and punched him square in the face. "You are fired," he yelled, his face turning red with the force of his anger. "And consider yourself damn lucky that that's all you are." He stared down the other man, who was trying to quench the bleeding from his nose, disgust evident in his eyes. "Get out of my offices."

"Will, what the hell are you doing?" David Lee hissed, but Will ignored him and the stunned looks he was receiving from those around him, and walked back to Diane's office.

"Damien has been taken case of," Will said.

"Yes, we noticed," Diane replied, sounding surprised at Will's actions.

"Alicia, are you okay?" he asked sympathetically.

She shook her head. "No," she replied honestly. "I'm not."