The Morning Darkness
The first thing that Tauriel noticed was that it was white. The colour coated the ground and hung in the air, mixing with a bleak grey mist. Snow Tauriel thought, holding her hand out to catch one of the white flakes falling around her. The brief coldness felt good against the skin of her fingers, which were decorated with scarlet trails. Wait, scarlet? Carefully Tauriel lifted her hand to inspect it.
Her hand was covered in crimson patches and trails, her sharp warrior's mind instantly telling her that it was blood. Her eyes flickered down and noticed that she was wearing her Mirkwood armour and a slight buzzing began in the back of skull as her eyes scanned over the attire. For some reason, the armour felt strange, although Tauriel knew that she had worn it for more years then men had lived. So why did it feel so odd? A perplexed expression crossed her features as she continued to look over the armour, her frown deepening as her keen elf eyes noticed more crimson stains. Her body was not screaming at her that she was injured, so where had all the blood come from? It certainly was not all from her enemies. Yes she was a capable warrior, but when she dispatched her foes she tried to make it as clean as possible. It would do no good to stand there hacking something to death, that would take time she could not afford and effort that could not go to waste. Turning her head, Tauriel gazed across the surrounding area, hoping to find some small clue as to what had occurred.
After turning her head, spinning around and straining her vision a few times, Tauriel gave up. There was no indication anything had happened, just clean white snow in every direction. Though she did notice what should have been there, such as a trail from her boots and the red stains she should have left in her wake. Examining the snowfall again, the elleth determined that it was not falling quickly enough to cover her footprints. A cold feeling that had nothing to do with the environment spread through her, before settling and churning in her stomach. How had she got here? Where was here? Breath escaped her lips in steady sighs and her eyes fluttered closed as Tauriel tried to calm herself enough to think against the building panic. Now, what was the last thing she remembered? A flash of dark skimmed across her memory, the sound of dwarf forged swords clashing echoing in her ears. Dwarf. Tauriel's eyelids flew back open.
Kili. It was something to do with Kili. The sound of her heartbeat echoed loudly in the silence as it went from a steady thump to erratic fluttering. Her legs flew forward of their own accord and her bright hair tangled behind her like a stream of fire. She had to find Kili. Whatever had happened in this strange Valar forsaken place, Kili had been here too and still recalling the clash of swords, it was quite possible he was in danger.
Tauriel did not know how long she had been running for. It felt like an age and her breathing had gradually turned into panting intakes of air, practically unheard of for her kin. Tauriel shook her head, causing orange flame to disperse around her face. She needed to focus! Kili could be fighting, his exhaustion waning, or injured or even…
No! She would not, could not think like that. She just had to find him. She just had to do that and everything would be alright. Without breaking her stride, Tauriel screamed the name of the dwarf that had stolen her heart across the landscape.
Time seemed to have no meaning here. The same bleak grey colour covered the area, no matter how far she ran. There was no sun, no moon and no stars. The lack of starlight saddened the elleth, she adored the stralight and she knew Kili did too. Little itching sensations started in the corner of her eyes and angrily Tauriel wiped her damp sleeve across, trying to rid them of the tears starting to fall from desperation. Smears of red from her blood soaked tunic stained her face at the action and Tauriel pushed her legs harder. "Kili!" her voice called echoing across the land, amongst the rocks and through the air. "Kili!" she yelled again, anxiety strangling the name. Nothing but silence answered her and at this, Tauriel allowed the desperation and fear she had been suppressing to finally fill her soul and screamed "KILI!"
Her green and red covered legs gave out underneath her and unrestrained tears streamed down her face. Tauriel's arms came around her stomach, without her realising, as though her body knew she needed to be held together or she'd fall apart. Where are you Kili?
A shuffling sound came from Tauriel's right and the shock of hearing something that was not herself caused her to look up sharply. A loose arch shape was carved into the large craggy rock and from that place, shuffling amongst the snow was… "Kili," Tauriel breathed in awe. He was alive! The dwarf came forward steadily and Tauriel hastily moved her limbs so she could run to him, until the expression gracing his face stopped her instantly.
His eyes were blank and dark. Usually there would be a spark in those eyes, whether it was a mischievous glint indicating he was about to do something reckless, or a happy glimmer when he was content with the world. Tauriel had never seen his eyes like this before and a scared tremor ran down her spine. His complexion was pale too, much paler than usual and his mouth, oh Valar his mouth! It was a thin expressionless line, not smiling, not smirking or even trembling. Kili's mouth was never worn in the position Tauriel was staring at now. This Kili was a stranger to her.
"Kili? What is wrong?" the elleth whispered afraid. What had happened to him to make him look so, so defeated? So heartbroken? She hoped he would answer her, but Kili just seemed to stare through her, focusing at the ground underneath her feet. "Kili answer me! Please." Tauriel tried again, only to have the same response. Alright, that was enough! Tauriel moved so that she could go over and shake some sense into him, when two other dwarves appeared next to him seemingly out of thin air. One she recognised, for he was with Kili in Laketown. He had immaculately braided blonde hair and a beard to match. She could see all the weapons he hid amongst the material of his coat, tunic, boots, anywhere there was fabric. The other dwarf was older, with different style braids running through his midnight coloured hair and beard. He seemed to naturally hold himself a little higher and a large dwarf forged sword was slung across his back.
Recognition slammed into Tauriel and she felt admonished that she had forgotten. This was Fili and Thorin, Kili's brother and uncle. What were they doing here? She was about to ask what was wrong when suddenly Fili spoke clasping a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Brother, there was nothing you could have done. She fought valiantly; you should take comfort from that."
"Aye" Thorin spoke "She was protecting you, do not let her sacrifice be in vain. This was not your fault."
They continued to speak to Kili offering him comforting words, but his gaze was still fixed on the ground at Tauriel's feet. Tauriel cocked her head to the side. He had been looking at that spot ever since he had emerged from the rock, what was so special about it? Tauriel pressed her boot curiously at the ground beneath her feet and surprise flickered across her features. The ground was soft. She nudged it a bit more with her foot and the ground moved with her action, snow slipping off to reveal green fabric stained with red underneath the snow. Green and red fabric that looked very familiar. Frantically, Tauriel's hands scrambled at the snow, pushing it aside only to reveal her own lifeless eyes staring back at her. No. No. It was not possible. She swung her head to stare at the three dwarves, gauging the solemn expressions gracing their features. No. No. No. Tauriel twisted herself off the body beneath her, still staring into unseeing eyes and flesh covered in wounds and blood like a second skin. No, No, No….
Tauriel's eyes flew open and a scream erupted from her throat. Fabric wrapped tightly around her as she twisted frantically, trying to rid herself of the images lingering in her mind. Her fingers began clawing at her exposed arms and shins, hoping to erase the feeling of blood and damp that had been covering her flesh.
"…riel, Tauriel!" A voice cut through the screeching panic flying around her mind and warm hands wrapped themselves around her wrists, pulling her clawing hands away from her. She knew that voice. The warm hands left her wrists only to land on either side of her face and hold it so that her eyes met a pair of darker ones. Darker eyes that had a spark in them. A spark of worry, but a spark nonetheless. "Kili?" Tauriel's soft murmur questioned. She noticed the worry in his eyes lessened slightly when he heard her say his name.
"Welcome back." He answered softly with a slight quirk of his lips. It was that motion that undid her, the images of his blank face flowing through her mind. She flung her arms around him with a ferocity Kili had only ever seen her possess on the battlefield and proceeded to bury her face in his chest. Soft sobs emitted from her form as she clung to him. He was alright. She was alright. They were in Erebor and they were alright. The mantra repeated in Tauriel's head over and over mixing with Kili's "You are safe, shhh shhh, you are safe now" and the soothing rhythm of his hand moving up and down her arm and back.
Gradually, Tauriel's sobs began to lessen but sharp tendrils of the dream still lingered in her mind, despite the affirmation of Kili's presence. Having retained some semblance of calm, the elleth pressed a gentle kiss to the dwarf's chest and shifted slightly so that her head came to rest once more on the pillows beside her. Kili reluctantly allowed her to move, but watched over her warily. Tauriel may have calmed, but her eyes still held a chaotic distance, as though she was still coming to terms with what was real. Carefully, Kili turned his face towards her and let the question he'd been holding back fall from his lips "Do you wish to talk about it?"
Tauriel let his voice fill her senses. This was reality and Kili's eyes were gazing at her with such sincerity but still trying to hide a hint of worry. I must have scared him badly if he is still worried. The guilty thought flickered through her head and with it; she made the decision to answer him. "It was horrible Kili; I have never experienced a dream so terrible…"
Kili listened in horrified fascination as his beloved elf maid described her dream. Mahal, no wonder she'd woken screaming! As she finished her tale and looked at him with mournful eyes, all Kili could think to do was embrace her. He encased Tauriel in his arms and held her as though she was the arkenstone itself. A few moments later, the dwarf prince felt his love relax and heard as she took a deep breath, seemingly breathing in his scent. "I promise you Tauriel you are safe," Kili murmured before gently tipping her chin so that she was gazing into his eyes "I will not let anything happen to you."
The elleth felt her heart skip a beat at the declaration. Her Kili was staring down at her with such a determined expression and had said his statement so seriously, that she believed him instantly. He would protect her, she knew. But there was truth in my dream, I will protect him too. The thought made her smile and the last lingering wisps of dream faded. "I know," Tauriel grinned before closing the small space between them and gracing Kili with a deep kiss.
