-FUTURE starsideDrifter from ?:? opened memo on board LET'S SAVE THE FUCKIN UNIVERSE-

FSD: hello?

FSD: anyone there?

FSD: fuck it

FSD: listen up, we've got a lot of ground to cover, and very soon you're gonna be swamped with all kinds of shit

FSD: also i don't have very long because the scratch didn't work properly and now bj is gonna kill me

FSD: y'all should be able to open this board the day before you play sburb

FSD: i'd tell you not to play it but the universe is gonna end anyhow so you may as well give earth 3 a fighting chance

FSD: first things first

FSD: do not listen to the old gods they're fucking outdated with their sburb mechanics and so much has changed that it isn't even WORTH listening to them about anything beyond the entry and item creation/fusion

FSD: in fact

FSD: whoever updated sburb hid it well but here are the patch notes for SBURB 1.0.0

FSD: read them

-CURRENT starsideDrifter started viewing the memo—

FSD: oh there you are

FSD: yeah i made it so you can't actually reply to my messages, nor message me directly

FSD: would waste too much time, you know?

FSD: anyway, where was i? oh yeah

FSD: read the patch notes for 1.0.0

FSD: see the problem is

FSD: when the session is entirely male, we were destined to fail from the start

FSD: four penises aren't miraculously going to make a baby, fuck what you find on fanfiction sites

FSD: we'd tried making shit to switch genders, no dice, but the human betas had a solution for us, unlikely as it seemed

FSD: so we all listened intently when we heard of the scratch and its new session creating gender reversing effects

FSD: of course. the problem was getting away from the scratch, and when we were shackled with an uber strong jack (thanks to the fucking shitty as hell old gods) and his not-quite-as-uber-strong-but-still-fucking-ripped posse of fucking derse knights

FSD: then there was the tumor, the green sun (which we were pranked into making, our bad) and making a map through the last ring to rae and her merry band of girls

FSD: so here's what you're going to do

FSD: in the next few hours, a boy who looks like a blue wind sock is gonna come flying through your window, and tell you that you're gonna be the first to play sburb

FSD: instead of letting him go on a lengthy tirade about the lore of earth 3, you're gonna cut him off and tell him the password is TIMEBURN

FSD: and show him this memo

FSD: besides i thi

FSD: fuc

FSD: bj's here

FSD: good lucjme ag

-FUTURE starsideDrifter ?:? has been terminated-