It started with Sirius and James, just like any normal Saturday, really.

They were squabbling about something ridiculous, shoving each other in a show of masculinity, when a dark-haired girl sidled past, smirking and softly murmuring: "Hey Sirius," and winking.

Remus rolled his eyes dramatically as a triumphant grin lit up Sirius' face.

This, naturally, started a tremendous three hour argument about who was the most attractive.

"Fuck off, I've shagged loads more bloody girls than you!"

"My heart may belong to my darling Lilyflower, but I'm certainly still a million times more attractive than you!"

Sirius snorted.

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"You're both being bloody ridiculous." Remus groaned, burying his head in his hands.

They ignored him.

"Just because you've shagged more girls, doesn't establish that you're more attractive!"

"Well obviously it does, because I've shagged more girls and I'm more attractive!" Sirius shot back.

"Clearly not!" James yelled.

"Clearly does!" was Sirius' witty response.

"Clearly not!"

"Clearly does!"

"Clearly…oh fuck it, I don't need to argue with you, I know I'm bloody right." James said, exacerbated.

Sirius laughed harshly.

"The whole Gryffindor Common Room'd disagree with you there mate."

A challenging glint lit up James' eyes, causing Remus to groan and sink further into his seat, muttering unintelligibly from behind his hands.

"How sure are you of that?" he smirked.

"Oh trust me…I'm sure." Sirius responded arrogantly. "Why?"

"How much are you willing to bet?"

Remus chose that moment to leave.


An hour later, James and Sirius exploded through the dormitory.

"Look, I don't care what twisted, idiotic plan you two've come up with this time…" Remus moaned.

"No Moony, it's brilliant!" Sirius yelled, collapsing down on the bed.

"Utterly fantastic!" James happily agreed, plodding down on the other side of Remus.

"But it never happens like you say it'll happen." Remus whined.

"Not this time! It's so simple, but so brilliant!" James said excitedly.

"Yeah but it's not…" Remus groaned.

"Just hear us out." Sirius demanded, and Remus allowed himself one long eye roll before nodding his head defeatedly and slumping further down the bed.


"It'll never work."

James and Sirius frowned at him.

"Of course it will!" Sirius said seriously.

"No, it won't. Who the bloody hell would even vote?" Remus asked.

"Everyone! And then this argument would be settled, once and for all!" James said determinedly.

"And you want to use my pictures?" he sighed.

"Yep." Sirius and James chorused, and Remus let out a long-winded groan before reaching over to his trunk and digging out three slightly crumpled photos.

"Sirius, here's yours. James, here."

Remus went to replace the third picture, but James snatched it out of his hand.

"Oh no…"

"if we involve all of us, it'll look less…"

"Conceited? Narcissistic? Idiotic?" Remus demanded.

"Well, I was going to say suspicious, but I guess have it your way." James answered grumpily.

"So the plan is, stick pictures of you two idiots and Peter on the notice board and get everyone to vote on who's more attractive?" Remus sighed.

A mischevious grin played around Sirius' mouth as he fished in his pocket, pulling out a fourth picture.

"Oh God, please don't let that be what I think it is…" Remus moaned.

"How could it be a Marauder competition without our darling Moony?" James cooed, his smirk identical to Sirius'.

"You know I hate that picture!" he said hotly, scratching the back of his neck.

"I don't know what on Earth you mean. It's ravishing. Now, to the Common Room?" asked Sirius.

"Of course, Padfoot. Let the competition commence!"

They piled out of the dormitory, and Remus fell forward with a heartfelt groan.


The next morning, before any of the other Marauders were up, Remus found himself staring at the four pictures pinned on the notice board in the common room, under a sheet of parchment announcing "Vote For The Most Attractive Marauder!"

To his annoyance, tallies were already beginning to collect around James and Sirius' names.

Glancing at his own, he was shocked to realise that there were four votes under his name.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Remus looked back up at the picture of Sirius, smiling fondly.

Sirius was dressed in a traditional Muggle tuxedo, a skinny black tie loose around his neck. He was glaring resentfully at the camera, annoyance evident in his dark eyes.

They'd taken that picture two years ago, in the summer of fifth year. Sirius was spending his first full summer living with the Potters. Mr. Potter had been away on business, so Mrs. Potter had insisted that Sirius accompany her to a dancing class.

She'd handed him a tuxedo, one of James', but ended up having to shrink it to account for Sirius' thin frame.

The three of them had waited at the bottom of the stairs for him to come down, and when he did, welcomed him with a round of applause.

He gave them the middle finger, tugging the tie loose, scratching at his neck uncomfortably, whilst they showered him with compliments.

"Oh Padfoot, you look simply ravishing."

"My my, don't you scrub up well."

"You look fantastic, my dear boy."

"Stunning."

Sirius had gotten more and more annoyed the more that they took the piss, and had eventually stormed out of the house to wait in the car, leaving behind shrieks of laughter.

He gently traced the outline of Sirius' cheekbone, watching the loop of the resentful glare play on the photo and smiling stupidly.

There was no denying it, despite his mocking, he privately admitted to himself that he'd never seen anyone look better in a tuxedo.

Thirteen tallies lay underneath the photo, the tuxedo helping his case greatly in Remus' opinion.

He heard people begin to emerge from the dormitories, bleary-eyed and blinking sleepily, so he hastily left the notice board, grabbing his bag and heading for the Great Hall.


That evening, he found himself once again in front of that board.

He'd been gazing at the picture of Sirius when a hand on his shoulder made him jump.

Sirius was behind him, grinning. He'd obviously come to check how the competition was progressing so far.

They stood there in silence, each lost in thought.

"Do you remember when I took that picture of James?"

Remus broke the silence, a grin on his face.

Sirius snorted with laughter.

"Yeah. What was it, to capture the first time Lily Evans ever chose to talk to James Potter?"

Both boys started laughing, staring up at the photo.

James' expression in his picture was mixed between shock, a tinge of amusement, and a large component of 'I don't know what the hell is happening right now.' They'd taken that one three years ago, in fourth year. Before then, every time James made a stupid comment or embarrassed himself in front of Lily, she'd grumpily dismissed him back to his friends, who were whistling and complimenting him on how smooth he was.

By fourth year, all seemed lost, until a drizzly morning in November when they'd been stuck in class at break time.

Lily had begun ranting about how ridiculous it was that a droplet of rain could bring the entire school to a standstill, and she obviously forgot her hatred of James as he was the victim of her angry rant, which, for once, was not directed at him.

Remus had snapped the picture whilst James was under a spell, snickering to himself, and kept it to document the momentous occasion.

"What're you two chuckling about?"

James strode up behind them, his hair messy and his glasses askew.

"Oh, just old memories." Remus murmured, and Sirius and him shared a catty giggle.

James shot them a confused look.

"O-kay then."

He surveyed the board, smirking.

"Well well well. Looks like I'm in the lead after all." he taunted Sirius, who rolled his eyes and simply walked away, yelling back an assurance of 'Don't you worry, I'll catch up soon enough.'

James grinned, messing up his hair. He caught sight of Remus' picture, nudging him needlessly hard in the ribs.

"Looks like you're pulling ahead!" he grinned, and Remus took slight offence at the note of surprise in his voice.

So far, James was in the lead with 21 votes. Remus was second place with 18 votes, and Sirius was lagging behind with a pathetic 14 votes. Peter, however, didn't have any.

Feeling slightly guilty, Remus picked up the quill resting next to the board and added three votes under his name. He replaced the quill, rolling his eyes at James' smug smirk, and followed Sirius' lead out of the dormitory.


"When'd you take this?"

Remus glanced up over his book. Sirius was stood at the board, indicating to the picture of Peter.

Biting back a smile, Remus marked his face and carefully set the book aside, standing up to join Sirius, staring up at the picture.

"Do you remember in fourth year, where none of us really liked Peter?" he started.

"What do you mean, do I remember? I don't bloody like him now." Sirius snorted, and Remus hit his shoulder disapprovingly.

"I took it in fourth year." he continued, ignoring the glare Sirius was shooting him as he rubbed his shoulder. "James was trying to flirt with Lucy Wilde, remember? I say trying because he was in that phase where he was convinced that he could have any girl he liked by giving them a back-handed compliment."

Sirius roared with laughter.

"My personal favourite was 'Normally short hair makes a girl look fatter, but on you it works!' Merlin, I thought that slap mark'd never fade." he laughed.

"Lord." Remus rolled his eyes, as Sirius continued to laugh. "Anyway, he shot her one of his more harsher ones, and she looked like she was going to hurl herself off the Astronomy Tower. You and I were under the tree, and all of a sudden Peter leaps up wearing this terrified expression."

"And then he dropped straight down! I thought he was going to faint." Sirius laughed, his eyes lighting up as he remembered.

"Yeah. But then he got back up and strode towards James, gave him a right telling off. James went right red!" Remus continued.

"Gave old Petey some real pull with the girls though." Sirius interjected, biting back a smirk.

"Yeah yeah…anyway, I took that picture as he was getting up. The second time." he finished, staring up at the picture with a wistful smile.

"But why?"

Remus turned to him, frowning a little.

"What do you mean?"

"Why bother? I mean, I get the James picture. Momentous occasion and all. And I know you just couldn't resist snapping a picture of me."

Thankfully, Sirius missed Remus' blush at this.

He turned away, self-consciously scrubbing at this cheek.

"It was the first time Peter stood up for someone, to his hero, too. It was the day we realised he wasn't just a hero-worshipper. He was one of the heroes." he smiled.

"Oh Merlin, did you go off afterwards and braid each other's hair?" Sirius snorted. Remus punched him half-heartedly, still smiling up at the photo, and after a second, so did Sirius.


"Oh for the love of Merlin, let me read!"

"You love it." Sirius grinned, from his current position on Remus' knee.

James grinned, leaping over the two of them and landing in the seat next to them as Peter seated himself on the floor next to them.

"Hey Pete." Remus greeted absent-mindedly, his hands, quite literally, full with Sirius.

"You stink." he complained, pushing Sirius off his knee where he landed with a dull thud on the floor.

"Hey!"

"Time for a bath Padfoot." James grinned evilly, and Sirius shuddered, scowling over at his best friend.

"Don't even speak of that word." he warned.

"Hey Peter."

All three boys looked up, mildly interested, surveying the girl who was stood next to Peter.

Peter blushed, grinning.

"Hey Bethan." he mumbled, jumping to his feet. "We're just gonna go…yeah." he trailed off, waving his arm aimlessly and taking the girl's hand.

Sirius wolf-whistled, increasing the heated red Peter's cheeks had gone. "Who's this then, Pete?"

Bethan tugged on Peter's sleeve, and they walked away without another word.

A long silence developed in his wake, broken by James.

"How the hell has Wormtail got more pull than us?!" he exclaimed, leaping to his feet.

"Oh sit down." Remus said, rolling his eyes, and scowled.

"Tally count then, James old friend?" Sirius asked from his sprawled out position on the floor.

"Certainly, Sirius old pal." James agreed, heading over the common room bulletin board.

"In fourth place, Peter, with three votes!" he yelled.

"We're literally three feet away from him why is he shouting?" Remus muttered, making Sirius snort with laughter.

"In third place…ooooh, we have Padfoot, with nineteen votes!" James announced smugly.

Sirius leapt to his feet.

"What?!" he spluttered, scrambling over to join James.

James watched as his face darkened, grinning.

"Oh whatever, like it even matters." he grumbled, stomping to the other couch and lying down on it, scowling.

"Second place, we have..five, ten, twenty, five, six, seven, eight…me it appears, with twenty-eight votes."

Remus glanced up, sensing eyes on him, to find a dumbfounded Sirius and James staring at him.

"What? Sorry, I wasn't really listening." he said.

"I said, in second place, we have me, with twenty-eight votes." James repeatedly slowly, still staring at Remus.

He frowned.

"Wait, so that means…"

"In first place, we have Remus Lupin, with an astounding thirty-three votes." James finished.

"You can't be serious…"

"No, I'm Sirius, so that can't be it." Sirius replied instinctively, and the atmosphere was broken by James and Remus' simultaneous groans.

Remus stood up, joined by Sirius, to scan the board for mistakes.

"No, James is right…Moony, you're first." Sirius murmured.

"I can see that…" Remus answered, scratching the back of his neck, a frown on his face.

The three of them stared at the picture of Remus for a few seconds.

"It must be the picture!" Sirius suddenly announced, jabbing at the shiny surface. "I mean, when did that even come about?"

Remus turned away, to hide how red his cheeks had flushed, sensing that James was once again wearing a shit-eating grin.

He returned to his seat, suddenly very interested in his hands, and James sat down next to him, leaning forward his his cheek in his palm, elbow rested on his knee.

Sirius glanced at them in confusion.

"Yes, Remus, why don't you tell us about that specific picture?" James asked sweetly, and Remus shot him a glare through his eyelashes.

Sirius was staring back up at the picture.

"You look really angry about something. Not angry, exactly, more like…" he muttered.

"Jealous, maybe?" James suggested, his grin growing even wider.

"Yeah, jealous! Who were you jealous of, Remus?" Sirius yelled triumphantly, returning to his seat on the far couch and staring at his friend.

Remus had his eyes closed, hoping that if he wished hard enough, he'd just evaporate on the spot.

He opened his eyes again. No such luck.

James had taken that picture a rainy September night in sixth year. They'd been sat on this very couch, all aside from Sirius, who'd been flirting with a girl across the common room, brushing back her hair, biting his lip, grinning in his most seductive way.

Remus hadn't even realised he'd been staring until he was blinking the after-light from a camera flash out of his eyes.

"Why'd you take a picture of me?" he'd asked in confusion, and James had shot him a grin.

"You like him, don't you?" he'd asked, and the colouring of Remus' cheeks had been all the answer James needed.

Remus got to his feet, staring at the picture he hated so much.

"Let me see…ah, yes, I remember now. I was glaring at Marlene McKinnon, because her ass is so much more poppin' than mine." Remus responded mildly, raising an eyebrow as he turned back.

"Not a chance in hell, Moony." he heard a voice whisper, and a hand slapped his arse.

James spewed the Butterbeer he'd been drinking all over the Common Room as Remus blushed, watching Sirius return to the seat he hadn't even realised had been vacated.

James was howling with laughter at this point, and Remus willed the blush to fade from his cheeks, glancing at Sirius, who proceeded to wink at him and take a sip of his own Butterbeer.


"Wait, I came in fourth place?!"

Three days later, the four of them were sat in the Common Room. James had declared the competition as over and was pulling down the photos.

Peter had come in fourth place with four votes. Sirius was third, with thirty-seven votes. James was in second place, a sweeping forty-one votes under his belt. Shockingly, Remus had come in first place with a staggering forty-four votes.

James handed the photos back to Remus, returning to his seat on the far couch. Peter was on the floor, having only just found out about the competition. Remus was on the couch nearest to the fireplace, and Sirius was sprawled across his lap, his lip stuck out, scowling.

Every muscle in Remus' body was tensed up, aware of every exhale Sirius let out, every degree of heat radiating off the boy.

"I still can't believe I only came in third." Sirius whined, his lip protruding even further.

"Don't worry Padfoot, you're still my favourite Marauder." Remus joked, immediately wishing he hadn't when Sirius stared up at him.

"Oi!" chorused James and Peter, but Remus barely heard them, still very aware of Sirius' eyes lingering on his jawbone.

He swallowed.

"Maybe the common room had a point." Sirius hummed softly, and Remus almost shuddered at the intensity of the blush that swept through him.


The next week was a pleasurable torture of stolen glances and a lot of uncomfortable boners on Remus' part.

He'd spent most of the day locked in the common room, not trusting his hormones, trying desperately to focus on the book he was reading.

It was a boring, unproductive three hours, and all he really managed to do was read the same sentence eight hundred times, eyes flickering to the door every time he heard a bang.

He'd decided it was probably safe to venture downstairs, but to his annoyance, mixed in with guilty delight, he found all three of his friends in the common room.

James and Peter were playing a futile game of Wizard Chess, and Sirius was stood in the corner talking to somebody.

He sensed the new presence in the room, turning from his conversation to wink at Remus.

And that's when he decided, fuck it.

He strode across the Common Room, grabbing Sirius' shoulders and turning him around.

The question on Sirius' lips died as Remus pressed his against them.

He ran his tongue across Sirius' bottom lip, begging for entrance as his hands ran up Sirius' back.

Sirius responded eagerly, his own hands travelling to Remus' waist.

The silence around them shattered, Remus was mildly aware, as a round of applause rang out behind them.

They broke apart, Sirius smirking and Remus grinning, dizzy from adrenaline, and Peter wolf-whistled, James roaring "finally!"

Sirius grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the dormitories, and Remus grinned. Just a little.