A/N: Heehee Crack fic... But rather entertaining. Now don't worry just because we started another one doesn't mean that we won't finish CISYC or TTA! This is for fun. It's rather blunt... but funny we think. I, DI, write Harry and AE writes Draco.

"... This is the wave of the future everyone!" Harry raised hands into the air and the crowd erupted with cheers. "Thank you all for coming! And now our lead salesman Mr. Weasley will take care of your questions and orders, I have to go see a man about a hat." With that Harry Potter, founder, owner, and president of Galaxy Phoenix broom corporation walked off stage and quickly cast a 'Quietus' on himself.

He smiled and winked at a couple reporters before disappearing into the Galaxy Phoenix main building.

He paused at the door where an interview was taking place for one of the more top jobs. Harry having no clue what that was, decided the hat maker would just have to wait. Smiling, he walked into the room.

"... And I worked at nimbus also before it closed down." The interviewee finished. He was a boring looking man with slightly balding brown hair and a face like a horse.

"What's your name?" Harry interrupted.

The man looked up from his interviewer and eyes widened. "Mr. Potter?"

"Wow amazing! That's my name too!" Harry replied smiling. "Well Mr. Potter, I'm sorry to say that your not what we're looking for." Harry smiled bigger and extended his hand.

The man gave him a confused look but took his hand. "What are you looking for then?" He asked a little breathless.

Harry's smile slipped off and he bit his lip in thought. "Well for starters, someone blonde."

Draco Malfoy, top CEO of Voldemort Brooms, smiled up at his boss with what could only be described as a shark like grin, "Galaxy Phoenix has only been in business for a couple of hours now. According to inside trade news, they are still hiring broom designers."

Tom Riddle, owner of Voldemort Brooms, nodded in thought, "We need someone in deep Malfoy. Someone trustworthy to pass on plans. Potter's company may only be a fledgling but he's been selling brooms on the market independently for a few years now. His company will flourish."

"Yes sir. That is why I plan to go in myself. Zabini can take over on my paperwork here while Parkinson does the meetings." Draco said, fiddling with the blue folder on the table in front of him.

Riddle took a sip of coffee and eyed his best employee shrewdly, "You sure your not doing this for the double paycheck?"

Five minutes later Draco's laughter was still echoing through the top floor.

Harry was at the middle of the round meeting table he had insisted on having, his closest friends and his hiring team sat in chairs around him.

"Harry, you need to lower your standards. You can't hire someone just because of their hair color, eye color, and how old they we're when they lost their virginity." An Irish man mused. "Although it is rather amusing."

Harry frowned. "It's my company and I can do whatever I feel."

A woman with bushy brown hair took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Harry, that last applicant was the one going for your second designer... Do you know what that is?"

Harry spun himself around to look at his friend. "That's easy Hermione!"

"Good, so you do know." She replied looking into his green eyes.

He smiled and nodded his head. "Not a clue."

The Irish man snorted, choking on his coffee, and a couple others groaned.

"Well, it's the person who will work closest to you and help you design lines of brooms and look through the idea's of your other designers."

Harry nodded.

"This last guy who applied for the job was perfect and you turned them down. Why? He was blonde."

Harry laughed. "Too ugly, he lost his virginity after he got married, has two kids and is, well you really can't call him a blonde. It was more dish water." He said and gave them all a 'duh' look.

"Harry that's no reason..."

"It's reason enough for me if I have to spend a lot of time with them they have to be at least pleasing to the eye."

A small man twiddling a pen in his hands opened his mouth for the first time and turned red. "But why does when they first had sex have to do with anything." He managed to say turning a shade darker.

"It's healthy to have a active sex life, more sex, less tension." Harry studied the man. "How do you get your face that amazing color? Can I poke it?" He reached his hand slowly across the table towards the blushing man.

"Harry no. Keep your hands to yourself." Hermione said warningly.

"Right." He pull back his hand. "I might catch it and die, they you would be all out of jobs!" He laughed. "Back to looking! Find me a hot blonde with a healthy sex life! Dismissed!"

Draco looked up at the building for Galaxy Phoenix with a sneer. The large glass building was really shaped like a phoenix in flight. He had thought that Bulstrode was joking with him. Walking through the round, portal like door Draco headed straight for the receptionists desk.

The women behind the desk had black curly hair piled up on her head and was chomping on gum at a furious speed as half of it was twirled around a finger. She was nodding her head and muttering "uh huh" into a floating bulb in front of her mouth. She quickly blew and popped a bubble as she raised an eyebrow at Draco.

"I'm here to apply for the head broom designing position." He said, frowning at the unprofessionalism in front of him.

"Do you have an appointment?" She asked in a grating voice that made Draco cringe.

"Nooo, according to the ad this was an apply in person."

"Right." She rolled her eyes, "I need to ask you a few questions before I give you the paper work to fill out." snapping her gum one last time, she straightened her neon pink blazer, "Okay question one. What color are Mr. Potter's eyes?"

Draco's eyes widened, "What the hell kind of question is that?"

The receptionist rolled her eyes, "Just answer. The quicker we get through this, the quicker I can get back to my psychic reading. Time is money after all."

Draco frowned before replying, "I don't know...green?"

"Right-o. Question two..."

--------

Harry held up the latest of his designs for the Star Bound series, the Eclipse. It was a real piece of art, with a almost regal appearance. Harry giggled lightly to himself. This broom would be the best there was no doubt about that.

"Hello my beauty." He mumbled. Reaching over for his wand he quickly made a few copies of the rendering. The only question now was what colors should it be?

Biting his lip he reached for his colored pencils or as he liked to call them 'magic color sticks'.

Just as his fingers grasped around a bright pink one, a large angry face appeared in his fire place.

"Harry James Potter! Where the hell were you last night!" Cho Chang-Potter's voice rang out in the room echoing. Harry followed the echo with his eyes.

"I was here." He replied simply.

Even in the green fire light you could tell that her face had turned red. "You could have flooed! Or came home!"

Harry bit the end of his pink magic color stick. "No I don't think so, you see it's much cooler here."

The fire flared and Cho stepped through the floo.

"You know your tracking soot."

"I don't care! Harry we have been married for two years! I've handled your craziness since the accident but I'm not sure I can anymore." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Do you even try anymore?"

Harry blinked a couple of times. "Try what?"

Cho let out a frustrated scream. "Harry I'm filing for a divorce!"

He let out a little giggle. "Really?"

She ran her hands through her hair and sighed more tears falling onto the ground. "Yes really." Pulling out a folded paper from her pocket and set it on his desk. "If you sign that Harry we will no longer be married. No more sleeping in the same bed, no more rings, and no more me."

Harry smiled. "Don't cry." He mumbled. "It's ruining your make up." With that he grabbed the paper and signed in a flourish. "No more rings!" He laughed getting out of his chair grabbing his design and dancing out of the room.

"...Question 150. Green or blue?"

Draco, in a bit of a daze at having to answer over a hundred pointless questions, shook his head, "Blue."

"All right Mr. Malfoy. You answered 103 right out of a possible 150. You are just able to fill out the application. Interviews for you, if your application is approved of, will take place in about two hours or so. We have a lovely waiting area with a..tv? Anyway, here's your form. There's a table just to your right." The receptionist passed him the form and pointed to a garish looking green table and pink chairs.

Draco thanked her and walked to the table, trying not to wince. Looking at the form as he sat down he winced in horror. Fifth box down after his general information was titled as: Favorite Pizza Toppings?

Harry bounded into design work shop. He was still singing 'No more rings' and shaking his butt.

Upon arriving at his destination he smiled brightly. "Friends and coworkers I have a few announcements to make!" The people around the room stopped what they were doing and looked up at the wonder in front of them. "The first is that I have made the last design for the star bound series!" A couple of people cheered, and the rest clapped happily. "And the second is that I finally divorced my imperfect wife!"

Silence...

"Woot!" Harry yelled doing another little dance be for giving the design to Hermione.

"Harry!" Hermione yelled running to catch up to her best friend. "You really shouldn't be happy about these kind of things." She whispered harshly grabbing his arm.

He grinned at her and shook his arm free. "Why not? I am happy about it. No more Cho trying to hold me back. No more lying and no more cheating."

Hermione stared into Harry's intense green eyes looking for something. At that moment it was almost like her best friend was back. Dropping her gaze she shook her head. "Just promise me that you won't regret it later."

"Don't worry about that. I'm sick of the fairer sex, it's about time I look for my true love." Harry smiled, he grabbed the Irish man he had known since he was eleven and pulled him into a heated kiss.

Hermione's jaw dropped. "Harry! Seamus!"

Harry pulled away winked at Hermione and ran out of the room laughing hysterically. Leaving behind him a very stunned but rather pleased Irish man.

Draco looked up at the walls in undisguised interest. Two of the the four walls of the waiting area were covered in photo's of Harry's earliest models and of his best sellers. He didn't admit it to anyone, because of his place of employment, but he had actually owned two of the Potter brooms since leaving school. Even now, he liked to pull out his Lightning Bolt and fly around the grounds of his manor.

Finally boring of the photos, he cast his attention to the rest of the deserted room. One of the other walls, the one with the door, had the T.V. that was showing some muggle cartoons, and shelves full of muggle tapes and disks. The last wall had two machines, one for soda and the other for snacks, while next to the was an overly clean counter with a coffee pot and all the necessities to go with it. There was also a long couch, and three chairs, all artfully arranged to surround a round coffee table and face the TV at the same time.

Draco was just about to grab a cup of coffee when the door opened and an overly plain man poked his head through the door, "Mr. Malfoy? I'm here to escort you to interview room three."

For a moment, Draco was taken aback that the guy even worked here. Some of the other people he had seen put the receptionist to shame in looks, "Right."

The walk to interview room three was...different. Three floors, seven halls, and five different color schemes had Draco's eyes and stomach reeling. He was beginning to regret offering to do this dirty work himself.

Harry stopped in the middle of the hall and decided that the floor looked comfortable enough to lay down on. Setting himself on the floor, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

When he had started making brooms it had been more of a hobby that that gotten a little out of hand. His first broom design was made in his history of magic class one rainy afternoon. He had sketched out a sleek sand colored broom that had the perfect dimensions to do tricks on.

It had taken him a month to do it but he finally finished it.

Harry smiled as he remembered the first quidditch game he had decided to use it in. It had been the perfect day for quidditch slightly over cast no wind. He had been amazed at how well it had worked and it seemed that his whole team had thought the same thing. It was only three months later when he had finished his first series of brooms, one for every player on his team each a little different depending on their position.

He re-opened his eyes and sat up, feeling rather restless all of a sudden. Grinning evenly he stood making his way to bug the interviewee's. Cracking his knuckles he started singing, 'I've got the power' as he made his way to the interview rooms on the third floor.

"Have a seat Mr. Malfoy." The man motioned towards the chair to the left of Draco.

Glancing around the room, Draco sighed. It was bright orange with green flowers on the walls. The furniture was all navy blue except for one or two neon purple and pink throw rugs. Dropping into the seat gracefully, he turned his full attention to the man.

"Now, down to business. Do you have any experience with brooms?" The man asked, clasping his hands and looking at him in a manner eerily like that of Draco's old Trans Prof, McGonagell.

"Some sir. I worked for an indi company on the design and model team." Malfoy snorted silently, 'Good thing people don't know that Voldemort inc was once Riddle Heights. Ol' Tommy boys a genius for that one.' he thought.

"Right. Now, onto Mr. Potters choice questions..." the man suddenly looked like he was about to burst with something when the door suddenly slammed open. Draco was proud that he didn't even twitch.

Harry smiled and brought his foot down from where it was positioned in the air. "Why hello Mr. Longbottom." Harry giggled skipping into the room. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" He asked looking over at the blonde.

His breath hitched and he blushed lightly, who was this beautiful creature in front of him?

Longbottom shook his head, "No sir. I haven't even started on the questions yet."

Draco looked over at the man who walked in and raised an eyebrow. He wondered who the man was that so rudely disrupted, only knowing that he was a higher lever employee then his bland interviewer.

Harry nodded keeping his eyes locked on the blonde. "Right, well then get to it. I'll just stay here and watch." He replied finally giving Longbottom a nod and a smile. "Remember, the bird that looks the prettiest often has it's head chopped off and then it's served for dinner." He whispered to Longbottom before making his way to sit in one of the chairs at the back of the room.

Longbottom cleared his throat, "Right. Well, Mr. Malfoy...how often do you have sex? Regularly, fairly regular, sometimes, or never?"

Draco's eyes widened and flew to the guy who joined the interview before falling back on Longbottom, "Why do I need to answer something like that?" He muttered, teeth clenched.

"Please, Mr. Malfoy, just answer everything I ask. It will make things much easier for all concerned." Longbottom replied, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Draco sat there for a moment before nodding, resigned, "Fairly regular."

"Okay. Do you prefer the fairer sex, male, or both?" Longbottom asked, making a mark on his papers.

"Is unknown a choice?" Draco asked with a sigh.

Longbottom looked up, frowning, "Er..."

Harry giggled lightly from the corner. "Unknown? That's silly!" He laughed folding his legs under himself. "Sure why not, Mr. Longbottom put Unknown!"

"Okay..." A few scratching noises with overlapping giggles before, "Do you prefer to top or bottom?"

"Um," Draco thought about that. He'd done both with females and while hadn't had sex with any males..."Bottom."

A few more scratches, "Uh huh, do you prefer darkness or light while fornicating?"

"Light." Draco replied, scratching his neck. This had to be the oddest interview...

Harry bit his lip. "Interesting... Nev skip questions four through seven and write in those boxes that I said it was ok, so that Hermione doesn't want to spank you." He paused and then giggled. "Unless you would perfer to be spanked."

"N-no, I'm fine on that aspect thanks." Longbottom scratched away before nodding, "Now, Mr. Malfoy, we're going to do a bit of interacting. I'm going to say a work and I want you to respond with the first word that pops in your head." He paused, "No matter how vulgar."

"O...k." Draco said.

"First."

Draco nodded and sat back, waiting for the word. When a few seconds passed and none were forthcoming he raised an eyebrow.

Longbottom sighed, "That was the word."

Harry burst out laughing and fell off his seat. "I love that one! I want to play too! Lets both say the first word that pops into our heads!" Harry crawled over to Draco and sat near his feet, eyes just seeing over to table of Neville.

Longbottom nodded, "First."

Draco shrugged. He seemed to be doing that alot in the past ten minutes, "Won."

Harry smiled and twiddled his thumbs. "Thirst."

"Uh huh..." Scratching, "Broom."

"Fly."

"Ride." Harry giggled, placing his hand over his mouth.

Both Longbottom and Draco eyed the man, one resigned the other slightly terrified, before Longbottom continued, "Work."

"Money."

"Topping." Harry laughed. "Come on now keep going!"

Longbottom nodded, "Missile."

"Muggle?" Draco said, shaking his head confused.

"Death." Harry's smile dropped for a second.

Longbottom eyed his boss worriedly, "Sir?"

Harry looked up with a smile covering his face once again. "Oh it's nothing Nev, just remembering. Oh and Nev please call me Harry. We were good friends at one point and it makes me feel funny inside to listen to my friends calling me sir." He trailed off. "Okay! Back to the questions! It was just getting fun!"

"Okay, si-er Harry." Longbottom looked down at his list, "Skates."

Draco, who had been scooting his chair away from..Harry...unobtrusively, stopped and said, "Winter."

"Grace."

"...Pie."

"Apple."

Harry stuck his tongue out. "Ew."

"Spatula."

Draco raised an eyebrow, "Cooking."

"Aunt Jemima."

Longbottom cleared his throat, "Mountains."

"Snow."

"Mountains? What the hell kinda word is that? I bet that Ron came up with that one didn't he? Of course it was him. Who else on the team would want to have the image of breasts in their head." Harry shivered.

"Okay, last one." Longbottom looked at the list, leaned closer to it squinting, then turned confused eyes to Harry, "Potter."

Draco's shoulders slumped and knew he couldn't say the word he wanted. They'd throw him out on his arse, "Plants." Second word will have to do.

Harry smiled and stood. "Me." He replied with a smirk.

Draco thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest, now really glad he didn't go with his first thought. He had had no idea that this whack job was hopefully his new future boss.

Longbottom smiled, "All right. A few more questions Mr. Malfoy, and we'll be all set..."

Harry shook his head. "No Mr. Longbottom, I think we are all set here. I think that Mr." Harry paused. "I'm sorry I don't think I caught your name."

Draco cleared his throat and stood up, brushing his jacket to free itself of the wrinkles, "Malfoy sir." he held out his hand.

Harry took his hand and kissed it lightly. "Malfoy... Bad faith?" Harry looked up at meet his eyes. "Let's see if you live up to your name." He gave the hand a soft squeeze. "I except his offer Neville." Harry walked to the door and placed his hand on the door frame. "But before I go beautiful Malfoy, I should tell you that I know you held back on your last question. Don't let me catch you again, okay?" With that Harry stepped out of the door.