The Blue is kind; she knows –I've never told her
But still she feels, her child, I cannot hold her.
The tides of Time are tearing us apart;
For Fate has –always had- the cruelest heart.
We are haunted, we are hunted and we run,
Till all our times are written, one by one.
.
The pages fill and memory's awoken,
How we both fell in loneliness unbroken,
In shadows how we run, stranger and lover
Secrets and dangers striving to discover,
And I wouldn't, couldn't trust you for a while,
(how so much pain did mar her precious smile),
And how you whispered sadly, a great love's token
The name, the knowledge I had never spoken,
For I am that man no more; those years have passed
-they always do you know, and much too fast-
And how you died in light (you watch us run!)
Your torture, long since started, finally done.
(Forgive me, oh forgive me, I didn't know:
My hearts had shattered years and years ago).
.
And still, next time we met, you lived, you laughed,
You flirted and I argued, still so daft.
You knew so much -too much- I couldn't take it
And still you gave your heart, though I would break it.
Three more lives ruined again, my fault, I know
(too many of you now sleep in peace below)
One time you shot me -well, it was against your will-
(I know, you'll die; I'll carry you with me up every hill)
We married once, we touched and Time flew by,
(to them, to you, how could I ever say goodbye?)
Another time, with hate, you kissed me ill.
And then you gave me life as I lay still.
You shot my hats, we danced, we flew, we fell
A fragile Heaven built above our Hell.
I didn't want to love you and yet I did,
-in tangled streams of time kisses we hid-
little by little, and we learnt to run together.
And we both knew it couldn't last forever.
.
And now you are fading; soon you will be gone
-as they all do- and I will walk alone
In twilight all my years, in endless night,
For I'm unworthy of such pleasure, such delight,
As is to live with friends, to smile, to love
(oh, may your ghosts watch over me from up above)
And I'll grow weary of this endless, hopeless fight,
For I have failed too many times to get it right.
.
I'm giving you the days, the weeks, the years,
The cup of misery we'll fill with bitter tears.
Oh, let me listen to you singing one last time.
The clock I serve now rings its hateful chime.
And soon I'll have to save you and lose you both.
(oh, not one line, I promised under oath)
An echo that will fade -perhaps it should
(I'd give you all of forever if I could)
We all do in the end, we are just a story
And autumn frosts destroy bright summer's glory.
.
You smile at me, you ask me why so sad?
It's nothing; well, you know me, nothing bad.
Let's just go dear, I promised didn't I?
It's just the light, I swear; my eyes are dry.
(I lie and lie and run, that's what I do)
I'm yours from dusk until the morning dew.
.
In vain I try; the tears at last start falling
(Ha! Lord of Time! A bell of doom is tolling,
with every passing second; count the ways
to be Victorious, set all up ablaze!)
And all is fair; oh, all is fair and dying,
In bravest beauty, Death and Fate defying.
Her worried smile, her face, her tender hand
-You know I cannot tell, you'll understand-
And all is lost; you know I hate goodbyes
Indifferent stars still shine across the skies.
And Silence falls, the Towers now stop singing
In aching hearts the Cloister Bell is ringing,
Oh mercy, please, it's soon, too soon (just run)
-of mercy I had too little (the universe has none).
.
I'll drop you home Professor –oh, come on, I'd be proud!
(My empty shell in shadows, in clouds I will enshroud)
Just a "goodnight", I'll say it, go on, it's not that hard.
(And damn you, smile: her happiness this time will not be marred.)
And one last touch: your fingers, barely brushing mine
(so fearless, mine are bloody, with crime upon a crime.)
I'll just fly off: the waiting, more harm will do than good.
My oldest friend, still patient, her soul encased in wood.
Some say my true companion, the constant one, is Death.
I'll say he does poor labor: tomorrow I'll still draw breath.
.
The one last day was chosen, the choice was never ours.
We lay against the darkness, in bed of dying flowers.
To not go there, the coward, I'd give the world entire.
.
We'll now both drift in misery, till we both end in fire.
.
Three goddamn pages of this. That's the biggest poem I've ever written. My God, what have I become?
Your feels are never safe. There is nowhere I can't go, there is nowhere I won't find you. This is 11's lowest point, people. Next time we chronologically see him, he is living on a cloud in Victorian London being depressed.
Anyone who wishes to discuss anything about the poem need only comment. I shall gladly answer.
The quote "I'll carry you with me up every hill" is from the song "The Graveyard near the house" by The Airborne Toxic Event. Incidentally, there is an amazing Doctor Who music video set to it, that needs more love. Check it out and congratulate the awesome person who created it after you are done crying: Youtube- The Graveyard Near the House - DW Fanvid
