High above Candy Land, a pink blimp sat in the sky. It slowly tooted around, giving the men inside a good view of what was to become the greatest warzone of all time.

A broadcast was about to be filmed inside. A suave Puerto Rican man by the name of Pepe slicked his hair back, turning to his bodyguard, T-Train.

"How do I look, T?" he asked.

T, his face unmoving and cool behind black shades, gave an approving nod.

A few feet away from the two, a production crew was ready to go.

The cameraman said, "Alright guys. You are live in 3... 2... 1!"

Pepe smiled, and said, "Hello, world! Welcome to the clash of the titans! The war of the worlds! The Kardashian Family Reunion! THE FIRST ANNUAL POP CULTURE GAMES!"

T Train clapped and patted Pepe on the back.

"We have an amazing show planned for all you folks at home," Pepe said.

"This is no ordinary game. It takes the concept of the Hunger Games, but instead of starving children, you get to see pop culture icons beating the snot out of each other! And we have quite a cast!"

From his suit pocket, Pepe pulled an envelope. Licking his lips, he opened it and produced a paper.

"On this paper is the list of competitors..."

The cameramen cut to another camera on the battlefield, and Pepe and T Train stepped behind the minitors to see the competitors.

The camera settled on a large robot warrior, and Pepe began to narrate.

"Here we have Grimlock, Transformer from the planet Cybertron! What he lacks for in words, he makes up for in power!"

Grimlock pounded his chest, and then transformed into a t-rex. He roared, flames bursting from his mouth.

"Next we have funny guy Seth Rogen!"

The camera turned to a chubby, bearded comedian. He chuckled, and said, "I am so high right now."

The camera then turned to a serious man wearing a pancho. He cracked his knuckles and spat at the ground.

"Here we have Daryl Dixon, warrior of the zombie apocalypse!"

Daryl held up his hand, and the editing crew censored out an explicit gesture made with one of his fingers.

"Not one for show, I suppose. Next up we have a hairy wookie from a galaxy far, far away! Give some love to CHEWBACCA!"

Chewbacca removed shades from his face and gave a thumbs up to the camera.

"Standing by Chewbacca, we have none other than his enemy, the ruthless Boba Fett!"

Boba Fett's armor glinted in the girly sunlight, as he assessed the situation.

Dammit. It's always gotta be Candy Land these days, he thought.

"He is love. He is life. Can we get some applause for the ogrelord, Shrek!?"

The ogre named Shrek blew a kiss to the camera. Then he pulled a stick of earwax from his elongated ear, and threw it at Boba Fett.

Boba was about to take a step forward, when Pepe interrupted.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Watch out Boba! The ground around you is covered in mines! You have to wait til the games have begun before they're deactivated."

The crew had to censor Boba Fett's hand, aimed right at Shrek.

"Oh, you'll pay for that, lassie," Shrek growled.

"You know her, you love her... KATNISS EVERDEEN!" Pepe shouted.

Katniss, an attractive young woman, facepalmed. She thought this bull was over with. Apparently not.

"Next to Katniss we have Trevor Philips from Grand Theft Auto V!"

Pepe leaned to one of the editors, and said, "Have that censor button ready."

Trevor was a dirty killer. He wore a sweatstained t-shirt and his eyes were full of hatred. He rubbed the bald spot on his head and looked around angrily.

"What the !# % is this? Some kinda game or$ ! ? What do I looked like to you, a #$!ing piece of #$! that's only good for #$^% and * & $? Well that's a load of ^$#% if you ask me!"

Pepe rolled his eyes and said, "Erm... Next to Trevor we have Ben Tennison, also known as BEN 10!"

A small 10 year old boy stood with his arms crossed, a bizarre watch on his arm. A watch that allowed him to become an alien of his choice.

"I guess he didn't have anything to add. Next to Ben 10 we've got Conan!"

A lean man in a suit made a stupified face at the camera. He raised an eyebrow under his swooped orange hair, and asked, "Why the hell wasn't I chosen to be the game maker! I'm Conan!"

From nowhere, an audience laughed and clapped.

"What... How did he do that?" asked Pepe.

"Anywho, we move on to our eleventh competitor... THE DARK KNIGHT HIMSELF! BATMAAAAAAN!"

The camera turned to Batman. He yelled, "MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEAAAAAAD!"

Pepe frowned, and said, "Well. That was disturbing. Next to Batman it's a-Mario!"

A chubby man in overalls tipped his cap at the camera, and summoned a fireball in the other hand.

"You're coming with him, dead or alive... Meet Robocop!"

A cybernetic cop came into view on-camera. He waved mechanically.

"The man of mystery... BIG FOOT!"

Bigfoot, a seven foot tall cryptid, roared.

"He'll be back... TERMINATOR!"

A tough looking man nodded, a red light gleaming in his right eye.

"Choo choo! Thomas the Tank Engine!"

Inexplicably, an entire tank engine sat on the same size platform as the other competitors, perfectly balanced.

Thomas made an intimidating face, steam rising from his chimney.

"Then we have... None other than the Doctor himself!"

A neat man wearing a bow tie and a long brown coat smiled at the camera.

"From the Disney we all used to love... THAT'S SO RAVEN!"

Raven smiled at the camera.

"Next we have BLUE PIKACHU!"

A blue critter yelled, "Wait what?"

Pepe frowned and said, "Blue Pikachu, what's wrong?"

The creature said, "My name is Sonic. I'm not a Pikachu. I'm a hedgehog."

"Wat?" Pepe's voice boomed from the blimp's speaker down to the competitors.

Sonic said, "You know. I run really fast? Collect gold rings?"

"Suuuuuuuurrrreee..." Pepe said.

"Moving on, we have Oscar the Grouch!"

A trash can sat on a platform.

The lid rose, and a scruffy green face appeared.

"What is thi-" he started, when he suddenly fell forward.

It happened in slow motion. The trashcan tilted froward, falling from the platform. Then, it hit the ground, triggering the mines. Instantly, flames erupted from the ground, engulfing the poor creature.

"We HAD Oscar the Grouch!" Pepe called out.

Raven threw up, lost her balance, and also hit a mine.

The next contestant in line, dressed for Office work and with hair parted down the middle, laughed maniacally.

"Next we have Dwight K. Schrute!"

Dwight said, "These fools have no idea what it takes to survive. I may help the weak, but in the end it'll only be to my own benefit."

Pepe said, "Well that was kinda weird... Beside Dwight... SHIA LABEOUF!"

In a fetal position, a man in a suit wore a bag on his head with eye holes. He rocked back and forth, whimpering.

"Uh... Next to Shia we have the classiest man in all of San Diego... RON BURGUNDY!"

A man even more suave than Pepe nodded at the camera. He wore an 80's style red suit and had an epic mustache.

"And our final contestant... MADEA!"

A heavy black woman stood on her platfrom, giving sassy looks to the other competitors.

She shouted, "Nuh-uh! Ain't none y'all gettin anywhere near this. Ner I dern't think ser. You try an' touch this o lordy lord help me so I don't kick yo ass so hard your grandkids will feel it."

The camera returned to Pepe, who looked just as confused as you, the reader, probably are.

"Well, we've got our contestants... We've got our arena... SHOWTIME!"