Disclaimer: I do not own Free! or any of the characters in this story.
"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship – never." –Charles Caleb Colton
Haru sat in his warm, comfortable bathtub and let the water caress the sides of his face. He closed his eyes….
There they were, alone in Haruka's bedroom. Haru stared intently as the boy's soft, precious fingers slid over the buttons on the game controller, pressing down on those ever so lucky sweet spots in a rapid, up and down motion. The vigorous motion of those strong, beautiful fingers suddenly stopped and a noise erupted from the television; the game was over and the boy had won. He turned. Suddenly Haru was lost, lost in a green meadow, with sunshine beaming down upon him, imbuing him with its calming warmth. The heat tickled his body, making his heart beat a little faster. Yes, this is the feeling I get whenever I look into those beautiful eyes, thought Haru. The beautiful fingers which had previously busied themselves with the gaming device lifted off the floor and swept over that flawless face, illuminated with a graceful smile and those two green windows, pushing back his soft, brown bangs that occasionally shifted over his eyes. The godly hand then proceeded to approach Haru. It stroked his cheek, letting its warmth seep into his face. The gentle caress forced a purr to escape Haru's mouth, breaking his poker face. Suddenly, the brown haired boy pulled Haru into his sweet embrace…he pulled Haru's face up to his….gently fingered his lips…..their heads slowly came together and then…
"Haru! We're going to be late!"
Haru's eyes flickered open. The dream was over. Reality came back. He sighed and dipped his body further into the pool of water. The door of the bathroom opened and there in the entrance stood the boy of his dreams. As always, he was out of reach.
Haru sighed once more, trying to forget the fantasy which had previously occupied his mind. "Makoto…just a few more minutes…"
"Haru! We really need to get going. Come on!" Makoto smiled helplessly, then leaned forward and extended his hand. Haru wordlessly accepted his offer. As their fingers touched, Haru felt the sunshine flow into his body. The heat consumed him, making his mind slip back into that fantasy… Those caring, slim fingers traced his lips, then crawled over his chin, ventured down his neck, and began to stroke his bare chest…
A sudden jolt pulled him out of his dream world. Makoto had tugged him out of the bathtub. Their hands were still interlocked. Haru's silky black hair dripped water slowly onto his wet, exposed chest, which was pressed into Makoto's white school shirt. Ba-dumm. Haru's heart skipped a beat. His piercing blue eyes stared down at Makoto's wet shirt, and then carefully shifted upwards...
There, about 3 inches from his own, was Makoto's flawless face. Their eyes locked. Haru tightened his grip slightly on Makoto's hand. With his rapidly beating heart, Haru slowly closed his eyes when…
"Gosh Haru, what are you doing? You're going to get sick if you stand here like this." Makoto laughed as he grabbed a towel, and then proceeded to ruffle the blue-eyed boy's hair. He wasn't fazed at all by handsome boy's half naked body, coated with drops of water that glistened when the light hit it. Haru stayed silent as he let his heart beat calm down. Of course, reality always kills my dreams, he thought sadly, though he revealed none of his emotions on his face.
Haru replayed the heart crushing reality in his mind: he and Makoto were best friends, yet Makoto had no idea that Haru had been in love with him for the past four years. To make matters worse, Makoto had a girlfriend. Kou. Thinking about Makoto's girlfriend hurt Haru's heart: no matter when or where it was, it always felt as though a thousand daggers were impaling his chest.
Haru grabbed the towel out of Makoto's hand. "I can do it myself," He grumbled, irritated at his own thoughts.
He pushed past Makoto, walked over to his room, and then quickly put on his school uniform over his bathing suit. After having a quick bite to eat, the two boys left the house side by side.
The morning proceeded as usual. The boys got to class and hung out with Nagisa and Rei. When class started, Haru watched as Makoto diligently took notes. As usual, the blue-eyed boy turned his head to stare out the window and daydream. Then lunchtime came around. Nagisa, Rei, Haru, and Makoto had always eaten lunch on the roof, but now that Makoto had a girlfriend, she ate lunch with them, too. For the past two weeks, she and Makoto would sit so close to each other, acting all lovey-dovey, making Haru feel sick. Today was different though. Nagisa and Rei decided to go off somewhere for lunch. They had just started dating. They didn't tell Makoto or Haru, but the two boys could read them like a book.
Haru sat across from the annoying couple. Kou giggled as she tried to feed Makoto some of her bentou. She sat in his lap with one arm wrapped around his waist, and she kept on glancing over at Haru. Haruka couldn't handle the situation; he could tell that he was unnecessary there, and watching them made him burn with jealousy. Just as he was about to get up and leave, Kou spoke.
"Makotoooo-kunnnn, can you get me some strawberry milk? I'm really thirsty!" She pouted and looked up at him longingly.
"Hahaha…alright Kou-chan, anything for you. Haru, stay here and watch her, okay?"
Damn, thought Haru. Can't escape now. He glared at Makoto as he exited the rooftop. The door closed. Haru sighed and closed his eyes, trying to hold himself back. If he wasn't careful, he would end up snapping at Kou, taking out all his jealousy on her. When he opened his pure, blue eyes, he saw Kou's face right in front of him. He jolted back.
"Haruka-sempai, what's wrong? You've been glaring for a long time." She tilted her head slightly and pouted.
"It's nothing…" He replied uncomfortably. Too close… he thought, and tried to back away a little. Kou inched forward.
"Haruka-sempai… do you not like me?" Her eyes started to water. Makoto would get angry if he found out I made his girlfriend cry…
"No…it's not that… it's not you…" He muttered and inched further back. Kou leaned forward.
"Are you…jealous?"
Haru froze. Shit. She's onto me. His face was expressionless, but his mind was racing. If Makoto discovered his feelings, their entire relationship would crumble to pieces. They could never be friends again. Then Kou started giggling.
"Don't worry, I won't tell Makoto-kun. You can trust me." As she said this, Kou gave a shy smile and blushed. She pushed her bangs out of her face, and then put her hand down on top of Haru's and leaned forward a bit more. Haru jumped up. His lunch fell to the floor.
What is she doing?! He thought frantically. Not only did she figure out his secret, but she was teasing him. And Haru couldn't do anything about it. If I say something, she might say something to Makoto.
"Haruka-sempai, you're so clumsy!" She teased as she began to clean up his lunch. Then the door opened and Makoto walked back in.
"Kou-chan, I have the…Haru! What happened? Why is your lunch all over the ground?" His beautiful green eyes looked so worried. Haru didn't know what to say.
"Don't worry Makoto-kun, I just scared him a little and he dropped all his stuff!" Kou laughed as she continued to pick his lunch off the ground.
"Oh Kou-chan, you're so bad!" He teased as he ruffled her hair. Haru couldn't stand to watch them, so he quietly slipped through the door and left the rooftop.
Haruka and Makoto walked silently home. The sun was setting. It was a beautiful scene, and Haru couldn't stop himself from staring longingly at the ocean. He knew he shouldn't swim there since Makoto was still scared of the ocean, but he couldn't stop himself from staring. At the thought of Makoto, his mind was flooded with so many feelings. Love, jealously, happiness, sadness. Makoto's arm brushed against his as they walked. Heat spread throughout Haru's body. It took all his might to not turn around and kiss the brown-haired boy passionately.
"Hey Haru…can I ask you something?" Makoto asked softly, almost like a whisper. It sent shivers down Haru's spine. He couldn't hold himself back for long. Afraid to open his mouth, Haru looked over at Makoto and nodded.
"You…what do you think of Kou-chan?"
Haru froze in place. He didn't want to hear that girl's name anymore. Why was he asking this anyways? Oh god, what if she said something after I left. Fear paralyzed him.
"Haru-chan?" Makoto put his hand on Haru's shoulder and spun him around so they were face to face. He stared at Haru intently, melting the fear.
"…drop the chan." Haru muttered as he looked down, trying to avoid Makoto's passionate gaze. He couldn't look at him. He was too close. Haru tightened his fists, trying to draw his attention away from the beautiful, brown-haired boy standing inches away from him.
"You don't hate her, right?" He asked desperately.
"No…I don't hate her or anything…" Haru mumbled, irritated at how desperate Makoto was. Why does he care so much? Why does he even like Kou? Haru quickly glanced at Makoto's close face and saw that he was beaming. Haru tightened his fists.
"Oh, thank god." He laughed, then let go of Haruka's shoulder. The blue-eyed boy still felt his warm, tender hand even after it had left. "I was hoping that the two of you could…you know…be friends. Do you think that's possible?" He asked hopefully, tilting his head a little. Haru felt something snap in his head. Be friends with her?! Your girlfriend?! How is that possible?! I'm in love with you!
"We'll see," Haru muttered as he started walking. He didn't want to look at Makoto. He didn't want to think about any of this. It was too painful…It hurt too much. How could Makoto ask him to do that? What does he even see me as? But Haru already knew the answer to all the questions. The answer that he loved yet hated, that tied the two together yet tore apart all his dreams.
I'm just his friend.
Makoto tried to catch up to Haru, but Haru was walking too fast and refused to make eye contact. When they reached Haru's house, Haru opened the door, walked in, and then shut it without even saying goodbye. He had had enough torture for one day. He stood against his front door, staring blankly. Then, his legs gave way, and he slid down to the floor, trying his hardest to hold back his tears.
Hey, so this is the first fanfiction I have ever written. To anyone reading this (if anyone is reading this), feedback would be awesome!
Thanks so much for reading my story! :)
