Title: Growing Pains
Author: Jeana
Spoilers: none majorly, but any episode so far is fair game. Mebbe wee bitta "McKay and Mrs. Miller"
Pairings: Who am I not pairing up? Bwaha! John/Evie, Michael/Summer, Mary/Rodney, the rest you'll just have to wait and see… ::evil grin::
Summary: Angstily follows the lives of just about everyone on Atlantis for the next 18 years.
Warning: Rated M for some strong adult themes. The language and sexual content should fit a T-rating.
Disclaimer: The characters of Elizabeth, Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, Ford, Rodney, Carson, Lorne, Zelenka, Laura, Kate, Kavanagh, Caldwell, Hermiod, Chuck, Felger, Jeannie, Sam, Teal'c, Daniel, Jack, Simpson, Lee, and Landry belong to Brad Wright, Robert C. Cooper, MGM, and all that jazz. All other characters are my own and may not be used without permission. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, evil or benign, just might be on purpose.
Author's Note: Oh, my word, Becky. Note to self, do not attempt novel. Ever. Again. Anyways, it's been crazy fun, and I just want to say that I have the awesomest beta, Commodore Norrington, and the awesomest muse, Tigger, EVER! Like, seriously. Y'all do not even realize. Anyways, the first several chapters are setting up relationships and having babies. Things'll really get kicking around chapter 6 or 7. To anyone who is reading this(the story, not the author's note, you goofy)sit back and prepare for a looooooong ride. Hopefully an enjoyable one. Oh yes, and reviews make my world go round. ;) Without any further ado…Growing Pains.
One Month Old - May 2006
"Kiss me down by the broken tree house. Swing me upon its hanging tire. Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat. We'll take the trail marked on your father's map. Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight. Lead me out on the moonlit floor. Lift your open hand, strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance. Silver moon's sparkling. So, kiss me." - Sixpence None the Richer, "Kiss Me"
Pretty big spoiler for the movie "While You Were Sleeping"
"Higher, McKay! Stop touching my butt!"
"Sorry, sorry!" Rodney cried, replacing his hand on John's waist.
"Now, get it right this time," John said with a sigh. "One, two, three… One, two, thr--oww, my foot!"
"Okay, you know what?" Rodney sighed, dropping his hands. "Maybe this was a bad idea. I'm just not very coordinated."
"You got that right," John muttered under his breath.
"What was that?"
"I said… 'you gotta keep trying,'" John covered quickly.
Rodney eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then gingerly took John's hand in his once more. "I suppose practice makes perfect."
"How about we try it with music this time?" John suggested.
"Sure. Why not?" Rodney said. "I'm still not going to get it."
"Hey, you're doing this for Mary," John reminded, selecting one of the slower tracks from the waltz CD Rodney had "borrowed" from Mary.
"Yes, yes," Rodney nodded, placing his hands appropriately.
"And one, two, three," John counted.
Carefully watching his feet, Rodney managed to move about the room without stepping on John's toes this time.
"Much better, McKay," John said. "Now twirl me."
Rodney smirked. "That just sounds amusing coming from you." At the look he received from his friend, he closed his mouth and did as he was told, removing his hand from Sheppard's waist and gently spinning him around in a circle. Feeling brave, Rodney attempted to dip his comrade.
"Very graceful, darling," John teased.
"Oh, yes, bravo, McKay," came a voice from the now-open door.
Startled, Rodney dropped John, who landed on the floor with a surprised yelp.
"Wow, can you teach me that one?" Kavanagh asked with a smirk.
"Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock, Kavanagh?" Rodney asked, annoyed.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the pony-tailed one said mockingly. "I didn't realize I was interrupting something."
"Oh, why don't you go find the cure for cancer or something, Kavanagh?" John suggested snarkily as he stood up. "Unless you'd like to teach McKay how to dance?" He looked over at Rodney and grinned. "We were just about to start on the tango."
"We what?!" Rodney spluttered.
"Oh, thanks for the invitation," Kavanagh said sarcastically, "but I think I'll leave you two ladies alone." Smirking at his own "cleverness", he left.
"We're going to tango?" Rodney asked, looking worriedly at his friend.
John rolled his eyes. "It was a joke, Rodney."
"Oh." Rodney nodded. "Ha, ha."
"Now, let's try this one more time," John said, restarting the music. Rodney sighed as he resumed the position. "One, two, three… One, two, three…"
XXXXXX
'One, two, three… One, two, three…' Rodney counted in his head as he gently glided Mary around the room in his quarters later that night.
"Mm, this is wonderful, Rodney," she said as he spun her out, and then gracefully back into his arms. "Why didn't you ever tell me you knew how to dance?"
"You never asked," Rodney replied with a smile.
Praying that he wouldn't drop her, as he had done with Sheppard nearly every time, he gently dipped her, loving the smile that lit her face as he did so. "So graceful," she murmured. They danced for several more minutes, until the song ended. "Thanks, Rodney," she said with a smile. "I really enjoyed that."
"No problem," he said, turning off the CD player; he didn't want to tempt fate by trying a second dance. "So, you want to go into the bedroom now?"
Mary eyed him suspiciously. "Why?"
"Because the bed's in there, obviously," he answered with his trademark eye roll.
She put her hands on her hips and sighed. "Rodney, we've talked about this…"
"B-but, I've got everything set up in there," he insisted.
Mary's eyebrows rose. "Set up for what?"
"For the tape," he said, growing flustered. "The movie!"
She looked absolutely horrified. "What makes you think I would ever be into that?"
Rodney blinked at her confusedly. "I thought you liked this kind of movie?"
When Mary realized the hugely false conclusion to which she had just jumped, she nearly started laughing. Instead, she continued to frown. "I told you I wanted to wait," she reminded, not being able to resist the urge to keep teasing him. Who knew how long it would take him to realize the double meaning of what he was saying, if ever.
"Why would you want to wait?" he asked, perplexed. "It'll be really great. It comes highly recommended."
Mary almost lost it at that. Biting back a guffaw, she managed a stifled, "I don't care."
"I got out Bill Pullman for you!" he cried, not understanding why she wouldn't just watch this movie with him.
"Is that what you call it?" she asked, barely suppressing her grin.
"I'm pretty sure that's what Evie called him," he said, after thinking for a minute.
Here, Mary couldn't help herself, and burst out laughing.
"What?" Rodney asked. "What'd I do?"
"Oh, gosh, Rodney," she managed amidst loud laughter. "You're too adorable!" Rodney always looked super-cute when he was confused.
"Well… I'm glad I amuse you," he replied, still not seeing what was so funny. "Now, do you want to watch this movie or not?"
"Yeah, just--" Another burst of laughter interrupted her sentence. She was holding her sides now. "Just gimme a minute, dear."
Rodney nodded. "I'll be in the bedroom."
Mary followed him a minute later, after wiping her eyes. "So what's this movie called, anyway?" she asked, giggling again.
"'While You Were Sleeping,'" he said, starting the old VHS on the television monitor he had appropriated.
"I don't think I've ever seen it," she said, propping up one of his pillows against the wall at the head of the bed. Crawling onto the bed next to her, he gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Mary rested her head on his shoulder as previews from over ten years ago began playing. Grinning slyly, she turned to look up at her darling beau. "I've never much cared for previews…"
"Oh," Rodney said, reaching for the remote. "Well, I can fast for--" Mary silenced him with a kiss. A very passionate, thorough kiss. She smirked against his lips, knowing how worked up she was getting him. Then she stopped with a teasing nibble when she heard the opening lines of the film. "Oh, look, the movie's starting," she said innocently as she returned her head to rest on his shoulder.
Rodney groaned. "You're so evil."
"Aww, but you know you love it, Wod-Wod," she teased, turning her head to nuzzle his neck with her nose.
He sighed. "Must you call me that?"
She giggled. "Yes. It makes me laugh. Now, hush and watch the movie."
Although Mary didn't notice, Rodney began to grow increasingly nervous as the movie progressed. "I object," the heroine-turned-bride said, interrupting the priest at the climax of the movie.
"I didn't get to that part yet," the priest said, utterly confused.
"Dr. Mary Heightmeyer," a voice suddenly called over the comms.
Mary groaned and tapped her earpiece. "Yes?"
"Doctor, we need you down at the lab," one of the assistants informed her. "It seems the, uhh… What is that thing? Oh, okay. The… 'pig-lizard' has somehow managed to escape."
She sighed. "I'll be right there," she said, slipping out of Rodney's arms.
"Wait, where are you going?" Rodney asked, grabbing her hand.
"I have to go, Rodney," she said, gently kissing him. "My stupid specimen has run off."
"Nonono, you can't leave yet," he said, glancing anxiously at the TV screen.
"We can finish the movie another time, dear," she said, putting her shoes back on.
"Can't you wait just a little while longer?" he begged.
"Rodney, it's just a movie," she said, heading for the door. "We'll finish it later, I promise." Tapping her headset once more, she announced, "I'm on my way." However, upon reaching the door to Rodney's quarters, she found it to be locked. She sighed. "Rodney, come on."
He was at her side a second later, tugging on her hands. "Please, Mary, ju-just stay for a little while longer!" he pleaded, glancing back at the movie again.
"I can't, Rodney," she insisted, and kissed him deeply, hoping to satiate him enough for him to let her go. "Now, please unlock the door."
"Dr. Heightmeyer?" the lab assistant prompted.
Grabbing her earpiece, Rodney yelled at it, almost hysterically, "Just five more minutes!"
Yanking the mic out of his hands, Mary exclaimed, "Rodney Nathaniel, what is wrong with you?"
"Mary, I--"
"Unlock this door right now!"
Defeated, he sighed and let go of her hands. Mary waved her hand in front of the sensor and quickly left. Slowly returning to his bed, Rodney muttered curses as he sank onto the mattress. He watched as Bill Pullman dropped an engagement ring into the token slot of the heroine's train station booth. Sandra Bullock smiled as she gazed adoringly at the ring and then looked up into her lover's eyes. Rodney sighed dejectedly as he fingered the small box in his pocket.
"I cannot believe he slept through that," John said amusedly as he looked at his son, sleeping soundly in his crib.
"You insinuating something, John?" Evie teased as she put her pants back on.
"Well…" He smirked. "You are kind of loud."
She glanced over her shoulder as she brushed out her tousled hair. "You got a problem with that?"
"Oh, no, ma'am," he answered with a grin. "Just don't want to warp the poor child."
"I think you should worry a little less about Aiden and a little more about how you're going to leave here unseen after hours." She reached for her black shirt, but didn't put it on right away. Turning sideways, she looked at herself in the mirror, poking at the remaining skin that had yet to stretch back after her pregnancy. It wasn't much at all, but Evie still sighed dejectedly as she poked it again.
Suddenly she felt arms around her waist. "Would you stop that? You're beautiful," John assured her and kissed her neck.
"Mmm," Evie sighed contentedly and let her head fall back against his shoulder. "So you keep telling me." She smiled as his lips continued to tickle her neck.
"Mmhmm, and I mean it, Evangeline," he murmured against her skin.
Evie smiled. He only used her whole name when he was either very angry or very pleased with her; and he was now especially delighted. "Say it again," she whispered.
"My Evangeline," he said softly next to her ear and she shivered; she loved that commanding, possessive tone. "Evangeline Sheppard," he said, turning her around. "Now doesn't that sound just perfect?"
Evie nodded and grabbed the edges of his jacket, pulling him in for a kiss. They were interrupted, however, by Rodney's voice buzzing in John's ear.
"I, uhh, guess that's my cue to leave," he said after listening to Rodney's message and then heading for the door. Before he'd quite made it, however, he returned for that "one last kiss."
When he released her moments later, Evie laughed as she pushed him towards the door. "Would you go, you goof?" she said with a giggle. "We can't have you getting in trouble with Rodney."
"Well, you don't have to be so pushy," he teased.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she smiled, managing to swat him playfully as he left her quarters.
XXXXXX
Later that night, a little after ten, Rodney found himself at Mary's quarters. He had already gone to bed, as he was going off-world the next morning, but he couldn't sleep. He felt bad for the way he had acted. Granted, he had had a very good reason to be so on edge, but Mary didn't know that, and deserved an apology for his treatment of her. He slowly raised his hand, paused, then followed through and knocked.
A few seconds later, Mary opened the door; she didn't appear to have been trying to sleep, as she was still dressed. "Rodney," she greeted, crossing her arms and frowning. "Can I help you?"
"I came to apologize," he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the floor.
"For?" she prompted, concealing her smirk.
"For acting like a jerk," he sighed.
"Apology accepted," she said after pausing a moment to screw with his mind.
He looked up. "Really?"
"What, you want me to stay mad at you forever?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, no, I just thou--" He stopped when Mary began giggling. "What?" He followed her gaze down to his boxers. His navy-blue, rocket ship boxers. "Oh…crap." In his haste to say he was sorry, he had forgotten to put on any pants.
Mary laughed again. "No, I think they're adorable, but I don't get the shirt," she said, referring to his t-shirt that declared in bold letters, Physicists Understand the Theory of How to Do It.
"Oh, see…it goes with these other shirts and--" Realizing that it was Mary he was talking to, he stopped. "…I never really liked them that much, anyway."
She looked at him quizzically. "Okay…" When Rodney just stood there for a moment, looking at her, Mary suppressed another laugh. "Is there something else you need, Rodney?"
"Oh. Sh-crap." He changed his curse at a raised eyebrow from Mary. "The tape! I just now realized… No wonder you were laughing! I swear I didn't mean it like that… Why didn't you say something?"
Mary laughed. "I was having too much fun with you," she answered with a smile.
Rodney nodded slowly. "Hmm." After a moment of thinking, he looked back up at her. "Well, I should probably…" He turned to go, but Mary caught his arm and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.
She smiled as she let go of his arm. "Goodnight, Rodney."
He gave her one of his dopey grins. "'Night."
XXXXXX
"Happy birthday, babe!" Summer announced cheerily as she dropped an envelope into her husband's lap at breakfast.
Michael smiled as his wife planted a kiss on his cheek. "Aww, you shouldn't have," he said, meticulously unsealing the card.
"Of course I should have," Summer insisted as he gently pulled out the cutesy card. "And I have a surprise for you, too," she added perkily.
Noting Evie and Johnson's expectant faces, Michael read aloud the endearing message on the front, then opened the card. "Happy birthday," he said with a smile, reading Summer's note, "to the best husband and father a woman could ev--" Michael did a double-take. "Ohh!" he cried, tapping the card with his finger. "Ohhh!" He looked up excitedly at Summer, who was beaming. "Yo-you mean you're--?" Summer bobbed her head up and down emphatically.
In his excitement, Michael jumped up so fast that he knocked his chair over backwards. Joyfully pulling his wife to her feet and into his arms, he attempted to form a congratulatory sentence, but he only got as far as, "Summer, that's--that's--" before spontaneously dipping her and kissing her senseless.
XXXXXX
"I'm so sorry to dump him off on you like this," Evie said, gently placing the sleepy baby in Rodney's arms.
"No, no," Rodney assured her, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt. "You go; we'll be fine." Realizing that he was no longer in the arms of his mother, Aiden began to cry. "Good grief, he hates me!" Rodney lamented.
"No, Rodney," Evie said, rolling her eyes and then fishing in the diaper bag for a bottle. "He's just hungry. Here." She handed him the small bottle of milk. "Okay, so when he cries, what do we do?" she asked, quizzing him.
Rodney sighed, gently rocking the infant. "See if it's hungry, see if it's got hiccups, rock it, put it to sleep," he recited.
"And what's the other thing to check?"
Rodney thought hard for a moment. "I forgot one?"
Evie sighed and answered, "Yes, see if he needs changing." When he looked up at her in horror, she asked, "You do know how to change a diaper, right?"
"Well, yes, but--"
"Lieutenant Brooks," Johnson called over the radio.
"Coming, sir!" she answered quickly. "Thanks, Rodney," she said, lightly kissing his cheek before quickly leaving his quarters.
Rodney sighed as he sat down on the edge of his bed. "Now, you're going to be good for me, aren't you?" he asked the little one in his arms. Aiden merely cried in response. "Oh, stop that." Rodney fumbled with the bottle. "Here, will this hush you up?" he asked, slipping the nipple into the baby's mouth. Aiden stopped crying and immediately began sucking. Rodney sighed. "Much better."
Five minutes later, the calm was broken, however. Pushing the nipple out of his mouth, Aiden began spitting up. "Nononono!" Rodney cried, reaching in the diaper bag for a burp cloth. "Bad, Aiden, bad!" Gingerly wiping off his arm and Aiden's mouth, Rodney admonished, "Don't even think about doing that again, you understand?" Aiden merely made a sucking motion with his lips, prompting his babysitter to return the bottle to the infant's mouth.
When the bottle was empty, Rodney reached into the bag for the cloth so he could burp the baby. But Aiden wasn't planning his schedule around Rodney. This time he spit up a great deal more, onto Rodney's arm and shirt. "That did not just happen!" Rodney cried, furiously wiping himself off with the cloth. "I swear I'm never having kids! Never, ever, ever, ever! You nasty, inconsiderate, manipulative, filthy, litt--"
Aiden's tiny yawn stopped Rodney's tirade mid-sentence. Aiden made gentle grunting noises as he flailed his little arms. Suddenly, his hand moved into his line of vision and it startled him, causing him to jump. Rodney couldn't help but chuckle. "You are too cute, you know that?" When Aiden yawned again, Rodney walked over to his bed and began arranging the pillows like Evie had told him. Then he gently placed the baby inside the "fence" of pillows, preventing Aiden from rolling off the edge of the bed. But Aiden wanted to be held, and announced this fact very loudly. Rodney picked up the crying infant and rocked him for a minute before trying to put him on the bed again. Aiden didn't approve.
On the sixth round of this routine, Rodney was about to strangle the poor child. "Why must I hold you?" he lamented to the quiet baby in his arms. "Just go to sleep, you ninny!" He pointed his finger at Aiden to emphasize his point, but far from being intimidated by the gesture, the boy grabbed onto his finger, as he was fond of doing. "What? Are you trying to make me not be mad at you? Huh? Because that's not going to work…" In response, Aiden pulled Rodney's finger into his mouth and began sucking on it. "Oh, that is so disgusting," Rodney groaned, but didn't withdraw his hand.
After a few moments, Rodney didn't even mind anymore. "You know something?" he addressed the infant. "I think I like you." Aiden continued to stare at Rodney's finger whilst he sucked, effectively rendering himself cross-eyed.
About an hour later, Rodney smelled something. Something not so pleasant. "Oh, Aiden, you didn't!" he cried. Aiden blinked at him innocently, but Rodney knew what he had to do. He gently set Aiden on the bed and the boy immediately started crying. Then Rodney began digging through the diaper bag, searching for the necessary items, while mumbling curses to himself. So far, he'd been lucky enough to escape this part of being "Daddy."
Suddenly, he heard a knock at the door. "Come in," he called, praying it was Evie. Apparently, luck was still with Rodney, and the child's mother walked into his quarters. "Oh, thank God," he said, gently picking up the baby and thrusting him at her. "Take it, take it!"
"You two have fun?" she asked, rocking the baby to quiet his sobs.
"Oh, yes, loads of fun," Rodney said, picking up the bag and ushering them toward the door. "Can you please take it somewhere else?" he begged. "It smells."
Evie smirked. "You keep calling him an 'it', Rodney, and he's going to grow up with a gender complex, you know," she teased.
Rodney looked at the boy, who had calmed down again, and snorted. "If he's anything like Sheppard, he'll know exactly where he stands with the opposite sex."
