CHAPTER ONE: nobody thinks what I think
Tyler Joseph flung himself out of bed. Sweat dripped from his shoulders, but his heavy breathing created fog from the cold December night. Once he finally caught his breath and wiped the sweat from his body he began to cry. Not the sniffling cry, the really ugly, gasping for air, fist clenching, screaming into pillow crying. "Why do I have to cry like this?" Pleaded Tyler. "Why do I always have these bad thoughts?" Tyler picked up the slouched over pillow from the countless punching and held it to his face, muffling any sound. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Tyler screamed so loud but so quiet. All the blood rushed to his face from anger. Why did I have to be this kid? His thoughts bellowed around his mind, taunting him. My parents didn't ask for this!
Suddenly, Tyler jumped at the sound of footsteps coming toward his room. His breathing stopped and he rummaged his body under the covers again, wiping all tears from his face. Unless someone heard him no one would really be able to tell that he had had another bad night. Third time this week. The footsteps got nearer until Tyler's bedroom door creaked open. Zack. Tyler let out a sigh of relief as he loosened his posture.
"Tyler?"
"I thought you were mom or something." His breath still needing to be caught.
"No, just me." Zack stepped into the dark room, dark hair a mess and only wearing basketball shorts.
"Thanks for knocking." The sarcasm flooded out of Tyler mouth as he watched his younger brother carefully.
"I heard banging from your room. If you were dying in here I sure wouldn't have knocked first. Are you ok?" Zack made his way toward Tyler's twin sized mattress and sat down next to Tyler. This hand me down was the most respected. Jay lost his first tooth on this bed, Zack's first bed was this one, and Madison had her first period on this bed. All Tyler had ever done on this bed was have night terrors.
"I'm fine, I guess." Tyler ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. Zack knew Tyler better than anyone. He knew about Tyler's nightmares way before tonight, but for some reason he didn't feel like telling anyone about them.
"Bad night again, huh?" Zack stared at Tyler through the dark. Tyler paused, is it really any of his business anymore? I'm not eight anymore. I don't need him to sing to me." He stayed silent.
"Tyler, you've got to tell mom or dad. You know, therapists can prescribe med-," Tyler cut him off with a jolt.
"Don't say it, Zack. You know I hate wh-," he rushed but Zack interrupted Tyler back.
"Medicine for you. To help you! Do you want to sleep like this every night? Do you think your future wife would want to be waken up every night because of something you could have prevented when you were eighteen?" Zack was closer than ever to his older brother's face. Tyler couldn't speak. Crap, Tyler pondered, he's actually really right.
"Zack, I-," Tyler started up and Zack ended.
"I just hate seeing you like this. You're my brother and…" His voice folded away as his eyes drifted to a pile of papers on Tyler's desk.
"What are these?" He picked them up quick before Tyler had a say in anything.
"Zack stop!" He whispered violently. "They are songs! They aren't done!" Tyler tried to rip them from his hands but Zack was faster. He began reading one page over and over again.
"Tyler, this is...this is really good...You swear you wrote this yourself?" Zack looked up at him in astonishment. His older brother nodded and looked away. The thing was that Tyler had never been prideful in his life. These songs were drafts and little notes to get him away from what he was feeling. These songs weren't..good.
"Where's your piano?" Zack handed the papers back to Tyler's exhausted hands. As he looked around the room for his piano Tyler's eyes flickered to his digital clock. 4:16 AM.
"Zack, no! Did you see the time? We have school tomorrow, man." Zack looked behind him to see the time and only shrugged.
"Just play for a little bit." Zack begged silently.
Tyler thought for a moment, anything is better than sleep. He pointed his finger to small keyboard on the floor. Zack finally got up and grabbed it off the floor. Tyler tore it away from Zack and flipped the ON switch. Both brothers sat in silence before Zack said, "well…"
"Well what?"
"Play the song, Tyler."
" I don't want to. Besides, it's not even finished."
"Ok we will finish it tonight."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Ok."
Tyler played an A chord and sung the first line, "nobody thinks what I think-,"
"Wait."
"What?" Tyler was getting annoyed.
"May I?" He motioned to the keyboard. Tyler hesitated then gave it over. Zack cracked his fingers and played a B chord.
"Oh, I like that. What chord is that?" Tyler's eyes lit up with excitement.
"It's a B major chord. Do you want me to keep going?"
"Yeah, go for it!"
Zack and Tyler went back and forth with chords until they finally found the chords: B, E, G#M, F# and added a rap for Zack to rap. He insisted.
Tyler looked at the clock once more. 6:23 AM. Tyler pushed the keyboard off his lap and shouted quietly.
"OUR ALARM GOES OFF IN SEVEN MINUTES!"
Zack smiled while Tyler punched his arm.
"Why are you so happy?! We literally stayed up all night! That's not good! I have a test tomorrow!" Tyler rubbed his eyes and laid down in bed, trying to get at least seven minutes...six minutes of decent sleep.
"Yeah, but you didn't have anymore nightmares." Zack got out of Tyler's bed and walked to his own room silently.
