Going 'way back to the first season of The Mentalist, I loved the Bloodshot episode. I thought there was a lot of room in that episode to further explore how Jane's sudden blindness affected him. We only saw his brave front in front of Lisbon and Cho for a short time in the hospital. Here is my attempt to fill in more details of that difficult time for him in the hospital and his thoughts as he lived through his first days of blindness. If you have not seen Bloodshot, it is from season 1, episode 16.

By the way, I make no profit from these stories. They are just for fun.

Blindness, Chapter 1

Boom!

Jane and Lisbon filed out of the CBI building with the rest of the staff, not really believing there was an imminent bomb threat to the building. At least Jane didn't believe the message pertained to the CBI itself. No, much to Lisbon and Minelli's chagrin Jane once again thought the message was about him. Minelli assumed it was Jane's outsized ego talking. Lisbon thought it was his usual paranoia. But Jane had already detected something in the message that made the tiny hairs stand up on the back of his neck. This was no standard bomb threat. This was personal. Why? Too soon to make any assumptions. Best to take the threat seriously and get on the move.

As Lisbon was detained by Minelli once outside the building, Jane hustled off to explore the nearby carpark, following a hunch that the threat was indeed close by but not close enough to cause harm to the building or the staff housed within. As Jane quickly took off, Lisbon finally got away from her boss and followed Jane, shouting at him. Damn that man! He was like a bloodhound following a scent, undeterred by her attempts to call him back.

And then he found it.

The white van and the pathetic, desperate man struggling against his bonds, locked inside. There on the floor of the van was the bomb on a timer, with very little time remaining until the van and the hostage would be obliterated. By the time Jane and Lisbon had found the van, the bomb was ticking down to the last few seconds. Lisbon screamed at Jane to run. Just run!

"Come on Jane!"

Transfixed by the spectre of this hostage being left to die in the CBI parking lot, Jane couldn't bear to leave, but knew he couldn't help either. He was vaguely aware of Lisbon screaming at him to run and at some point he realized she was right. They had to move away from the bomb on wheels. With a final glance at the look of resignation on the captured man's face, Jane turned and started his sprint towards safety. But he had waited too long and the bomb counted down to its' final second.

Jane remembered seeing the CBI building in front of him as he ran away from the van. Just a bit further and he could hunker down behind the building and wait for the explosion. Just a few more cars and he would be outside the blast zone, just a short jog and he would be with his compatriots, just a few more steps….

The blast wave was deafening and rolled over him, knocking him off his feet, the massive force slamming him into the side of a car. The force was great enough to then propel him through the air as if a giant hand had scooped him up off his feet and thrown him down on the pavement like a child's toy. Jane landed hard and rolled over and over, shocked and stunned by the heat and ringing in his ears. The world slowed down to a snail's pace. There was no air, only smoke and silence and the smell of death. Eyes tightly closed against the pain of smoke, cinders and God knew what else, Jane tried to get up as he felt Lisbon's small hands reach out to him and ease him up to his feet.

Lisbon!

She's alive!

His brain had barely processed this good news when his body sent him a signal that all was not well. God his eyes hurt! 'Smoke, must be smoke' he thought as he rubbed his eyes and opened them to see what devastation the bomb had caused.

Except he saw nothing.

Nothing…. Panic is a fast moving son of a bitch and it smacked Jane up the side of his head and left him breathless.

"Lisbon! Lisbon! I can't see! I can't see!"

'No no no no! This isn't happening. No. Not happening.' Jane's brain rebelled against what his eyes tried to prove. His thoughts ricocheted wildly, rejecting the possibility that he was blind. While Lisbon held him close Jane crouched down and felt as if his world was tipping precariously, the ground under his feet unstable, as if an earthquake was rolling through the parking lot and only he could feel it. He stumbled and fell to his knees as his hands flew up to his eyes again.

'Stay calm. Breathe' he told himself. Biofeedback was a wonderful thing and if he ever needed it, now was the time. Lisbon was yelling. How long had she been yelling at him? He turned his head towards her voice automatically, as if just doing so would clear his vision and he would see her worried face and haunted green eyes. But there was no face, just grey and black nothingness in the place where her face should have been.

"Jane, look at me. Here!" Lisbon commanded him as she turned his chin towards her as she studied his eyes. They were unfocused and staring blankly at a spot off in the distance, unseeing and filled with debris. As the sound of sirens filled the air, she sat down on the ground and pulled Jane's shaking body in close to hers, as if her warmth and nearness would somehow reverse the damage his vision had suffered. Jane fell against her as if he was a small child, such was his shock and disbelief. At no other time would he have allowed himself to appear so helpless, especially in front of his CBI team mates and the entire staff of the building. But this was Jane in shock, Jane in denial, Jane in desperate need of Lisbon's sheltering arms. She knew it if he didn't seem aware of his situation. And just knowing how helpless he was broke her heart.

Jane was in full blown shock by the time the ambulance was on its' way to the hospital. To be truthful, Jane would remember very little of the ride and whether Lisbon had gone with him in the ambulance. She had of course, but the pain in his eyes and shock to his system put Jane in a semi-conscious state, barely able to speak to the paramedics as they treated him. Lisbon was well and truly frightened, and never let go of his hand until forced to when they arrived at the ER. Jane was whisked off to a treatment room while Lisbon filled out the paperwork necessary for his admission.

And then she waited. She did not hear the usual complaining and demands to go home coming from the cubicle Jane had been whisked into on his gurney. 'God he must be out of it' Lisbon fretted. This was not like him at all. Must be the head injury….

Heavy footsteps echoed in the hall and Lisbon looked up to find Cho approaching, his grim face peering into hers, concern and fear evident in his stiff jaw line. Without a word Cho sat next to Lisbon and reached out for her hand, giving it a quick squeeze of support. They both had witnessed Jane's panic and blindness out there on the parking lot, and neither of them could believe it. This could not be happening to Jane. Not Jane. The All-Knowing, smart-ass consultant they considered more than a fellow employee. Whatever this relationship was that they had with Jane, it was more than being a fellow teammate. And knowing Jane as they did, if he didn't get his sight back, both Cho and Lisbon feared it could push Jane over the edge once again, down into a spiral of self-loathing and aimlessness.

These morose thoughts were interrupted by the sound of activity coming from the cubicle housing Jane. Suddenly the curtain was pulled back and the gurney holding Jane was being pushed down the hall by a nurse with a doctor by his side. Lisbon ran to catch up, fear driving her to demand answers.

"How is he? Can he see now? Is he…" The doctor slowed down and turned to Cho and Lisbon, cutting her stream of questions short.

"Mr. Jane has sustained a concussion at the very least, and will require rest to let his brain heal. As for his sight, we cannot determine the extent of the damage so far, but to answer your question, no, his vision has not come back yet. We are taking your colleague down for x-rays and a CAT scan now, to make sure there are no other injuries that we cannot presently detect. When we are finished we will come back up and find you."

Before Lisbon could ask any more questions, the doctor turned and followed the gurney up the hallway and disappeared into an elevator. Disappointment clearly showed on her face and Cho led her back to the waiting area.

"Coffee?" he asked, economical with his words, as usual.

Lisbon nodded a silent 'yes' and reached for the cross hanging on the chain around her neck, subconsciously asking her God to watch over Patrick. Now the waiting game began in earnest. Cho wandered off to find drinks and make some phone calls while his boss gained some privacy. This day could go from bad to very bad soon enough. For now, he just had to hope that the worst was over.

By the time their large cups of coffee were finished, and half the old magazines were riffled through, the elevator bell dinged and the gurney rolled back up the hall with the doctor and nurse guiding Jane once again. The blond head of curls was now encircled with a wreath of white bandages, covering large white squares of gauze placed over his burnt eyes. An IV pole held a bag of something dripping into his vein, while Jane's hands held the sides of the gurney in a tight panicked grip. His body language told Lisbon everything she needed to know about his mental state.

Fear.

The man she knew would normally be trying to climb off the still-moving gurney and demand to be set free from this institution of dubious medical efficacy. His embarrassing tirades against the "frauds in white coats" would have had her cringing by now. However, his silent acquiescence to being poked and prodded, x-rayed and bandaged made her worry all the more. It was as if the bomb had not only taken his eyesight, but his confident brashness and spirit as well. For once, she sorely missed his whining.

"Jane…" she called out to him as he approached. "Jane, Cho and I are here with you…" she assured him. His hand relaxed its' grip on the edge of the gurney and lifted off the mattress, searching for hers. Lisbon took his hand and walked next to him with Cho following as they made their way up the hall and into a private room.

"If you could wait outside for just a minute, we would like to get Mr. Jane settled in bed and then you may come in to see him" smiled the nurse. Turning her back on Lisbon, she headed back towards Jane, effectively demonstrating that Cho and Lisbon needed to back off and let them work.

Five minutes later, after several overheard comments of frustration from Jane, they were finally allowed into the room. Jane was propped up on two thick pillows, the call button resting near his left hand while his right arm lay against his stomach, the IV needle firmly taped into the back of his hand. He was bruised and cut up from the blast, but not badly. Lisbon could not help but notice the pallor to his skin tone. Normally perennially tanned, he now looked pallid and frail.

"Hey you…" she began, reaching for his hand and giving it a slight squeeze.

"Hey" he replied, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Giving the staff hell?" asked Cho, announcing his presence.

"Keeping them on their toes actually" came the reply with a small scowl.

"How are you? Really?" asked Lisbon.

Jane ran a hand over his face, stopping when he felt the thick padding on his eyes.

"Really? I'm …. tired. And smokey" he said, sniffing the air theatrically. "And still blind…" he finished more softly.

"Let's not assume the worst OK?" Lisbon was a little too quick to suggest, betraying to Jane that fearing the worst was exactly what she was feeling.

"OK" he agreed, letting her off the hook.

"When will you get the results of the x-rays?" asked Cho, ever the pragmatist.

"Ahhh…. Soon I hope…" Jane admitted. "And then I want to go home."

"Jane! You need to stay in here and rest! The doctor told me you have a concussion and need bed rest!" snapped Lisbon, stunned that he would consider leaving the hospital already. She was on edge too.

"Meh…. totally unnecessary. I can rest anywhere. I should recover on my couch at the office. I sleep best there...you know that" he countered, hoping Lisbon would agree.

"You will do as the doctor tells you or else you will have to deal with me" she said more softly, hoping to convince Jane that he needed to stay put.

Stifling a large yawn, Jane tried to get more comfortable. "Do you suppose I could ring the nurse and ask for a cup of tea?" he asked, suddenly sounding a bit more willing to co-operate.

"Let me get you one buddy" said Cho, glad to have a job to do. "You and the Boss can talk and I'll find some tea for you."

"Thanks Cho" said Jane, yawning again. The sedative in his IV solution was having the desired effect on him, calming his anxiety and allowing him unwind enough to doze for a while.

"Lisbon?"

"I'm still here…"

"Good. Just checking. If you get too quiet… I can't…" he began.

"I know. I won't sneak out on you Jane. Just lie back and relax. Cho will come back with some tea and you can rest. We don't have to talk if you don't want to" she soothed him.

A small smile graced Jane's bruised face and he visibly relaxed. A few minutes later and he was deeply asleep. By the time Cho came back with the tea, Lisbon was slumped in the chair next to the bed, dozing lightly herself. Putting the tea down, Cho left the room and found a quiet spot to make phone calls and busy himself until his friends woke up again.