a/n: this is a request songfic that is a long time coming. I have finally found the inspiration do the idea and the song proper justice. Hope you enjoy this can be read on its own or as a sequel to 'Next Go Round'…
Dedicated to princessrae91285
You push me
I don't have the strength to
Resist or control you
Take me down, take me down
Damon looked up through the protective cloak of darkness that was night to Elena's bedroom window. She'd left it open, just as she had done every night for the past few weeks. Ever since that first night they'd both lost control and he'd taken her in the living room. He'd taken her body, maybe even her heart…but it was only fair since she'd taken his soul long before then. He'd been rough, almost mean and the guilt from that had forced him to go to her the next day and apologize. Even though she'd left him all alone, even though she'd made it clear that she never wanted something like that to happen again, or that their encounter had even happened. But he'd brought it up, apologized and somehow they'd ended up in bed together. And they had every night since, even though she was still his brother's girl.
He knew it was wrong, hell- he could feel it in his bones. Feel it vibrating through their bodies every time he touched her, tasted the bittersweet success every time he made her cum. She'd admitted she faked it with Stefan most times, so every chance he got to bring her release, he milked each pleasured moment for what he could. Tonight, he was back again- for the same reason he'd come last night, and the night before…and the night before. And honestly, the same reason he would probably come tomorrow night. He had to end this, had to stop it before their affair got anymore out of control. She belonged to Stefan, everyone knew that.
She would never belong to him, and it was foolish to continue to keep pretending that she would. That one day she would tell him exactly what he needed to hear. As he climbed up and through her window, he knew that the second he laid his eyes on her any and all resolve he had, all plans to stand up for himself would crumble like dust. He couldn't resist her, it was impossible, and he certainly couldn't control her. No one could, not the way she was now. A simple look from her could take him down, and when he gently slid the window shut behind him, he prepared his heart and soul for the shot he knew was coming.
You hurt me
But do I deserve this?
You make me so nervous
Calm me down, calm me down
Elena was laying in bed with her back to him; even in the dark he could see the curve of her hip beneath the sheet. His fingers ached to touch her, his body to slip into the bed next to her and see if she was naked and ready for him, or simply asleep and not in need for him tonight. Even the thought of her possible dismissal had his body that more desperate to be closer to her. Silently, he toed of his shoes and laid his jacket on her window seat. If she was going to dismiss him, he was going to make it incredibly hard for her to do so. As he walked toward the bed, he shed his shirt and pants, gently slipping beneath the sheet next to her. Her skin was hot, instantly warming his and he sighed, the now wonderfully familiar sensation of her bare body pressed to his instantly hardening him.
"Stefan?" she murmured, half asleep as she shifted on the mattress. He felt her move away, his heart not sure how to feel.
It hurt that she thought he was his brother; that she couldn't sense his presence, but relief flooded him when she shrunk away from his touch. He'd done so many terrible things to her, to everyone she loved…but did that mean he deserved to constantly have his heart torn to bits over and over? It would end tonight, it had too…but he couldn't leave without having her one last time. "It's me."
His voice was a whisper, but a shaky one. He was nervous, terrified that once she realized just which Salvatore brother it was that climbed into bed with her she would do more than shrink slightly away. He needed her arms around him, her breath on his chest, her lips against his. It was the only thing that would calm him down, the only thing that would force his muscles to relax from the hard stress they were being put through at the moment. "Damon?" her sleepy tone was curious as she slowly rolled over, her eyes half open as she tried to look at him through her lashes.
Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh
Elena's skin was so soft, her body so fragile under his hands. He couldn't help it, couldn't help touching her. One hand slipped beneath her head under the pillow and came up to play with the silky ends of her hair. The other rested on her ribs, just beneath her breast. He wondered if she'd always slept naked or just since they'd started…doing whatever it was they were doing. He would never ask though, could never ask. To be honest, they hardly talked. Barely in the daylight, and even less during these encounters. It was all primal and much to his sadness, it was almost always rough. He wasn't sure what it was about her that broke his control, but perhaps the way she wanted it. The way she needed it. If he was rough, than she wouldn't have to feel the emotions behind the act and she could pretend that she didn't hear him when he told her he loved her.
"We're you expecting anyone else?" he thanked the heavens that his voice was calm, and even a little cocky. He didn't want her to know how desperately afraid she was.
"No." she shook her head, yawning but turning her body to face him all the same. He felt her breasts press against his chest, soft to hard and he nearly sighed. "It's the middle of the night Damon."
"I know, I'm sorry I'm late." He wanted to ask if she wanted him to leave, but he couldn't bare to say the words. He couldn't bare the possibility of her answer being yes.
"It's alright. I was hoping you would come." She whispered and he felt the curve of her lips as they turned to a smile before she began pressing hot kisses to the bare skin of his chest. "How long can you stay?"
"I'll never leave if you don't want me to." He admitted, feeling a little foolish but unable to lie to her at the moment.
"Mmm." She sighed, wrapping her arm around him and sliding her leg up over his thigh. "I like that answer."
So come here
And never leave this place
Perfection of your face
Slows me down, slows me down
Damon knew it was coming, knew that the sleepy gentleness of the moment was going to fade away and the hot, passion was going to erupt. Her hand came up from under the sheet, small but strong as it pressed against his shoulder and moved him to his back. He knew this position, knew it well. Normally he didn't mind for her to take control, didn't mind that she wanted to please him, give him a show but this would almost certainly spark the rough side of him and he wanted to try and resist that. "Come here." He whispered, trying to make his touch obviously soft.
His fingers wrapped around her neck, pulled her down gently to kiss him. She complied at first, kept it slow and even, but then he felt the first nip of her teeth against his bottom lip and the fire inside him he'd been trying to keep down erupted like a volcano and soon it was her being pressed back into the mattress. Her legs were on either side of his hips and he was inside her. The switch of positions had been a blur and he could tell there were already going to be bruises on her hips from where he gripped her. Guilt rushed through him and he stopped, looking down at her face. Was it possible that she could look so wanton and angelic at the same time?
It stopped him, slowed his movements and softened his touch. She looked up at him, confused and a little distressed. "What's wrong?"
So fall down
I need you to trust me
Go easy, don't rush me
Help me out, why don't you help me out?
Damon had already planned the remainder of his night after he left her bed. There was a suitcase in the backseat of the Camaro and he would drive until he couldn't remember the sound of her voice or the way she felt beneath his hands. But before he fully committed to the idea of leaving her and his home behind, he had to try everything in his power to make her see reason. He needed one last attempt at making her fall in love with him and showing her just how madly he'd fallen in love with her. "I need you to trust me."
"I do trust you." She murmured, terrified by the gentleness of his hands. The soft caresses were clouding her mind, messing with her judgment. She fought away the soft, mushy feeling she'd been battling with since the moment she'd put his robe on and went downstairs. She didn't love him, she couldn't love him…it wasn't possible. It just, wasn't right.
She couldn't repress the shiver that coursed through her body when he bent to kiss the length of her throat; his tongue soft and warm against the curve of her neck. "Easy," he whispered when he felt her hands move down to his waist and dig into his ass. He knew she was trying to fire him up again, knew she wanted him to explode. "Don't rush me."
"What are you trying to do?" she asked, gasping when he slipped one hand between them and began to tease her clit slowly.
He met her kiss then, his tongue moving languidly against hers. The slow burn set her body on fire and she writhed beneath him. "Does it not feel good?"
Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh
Elena cried out a moment later when he slipped a finger inside her, then another. "Yes!" she bucked up against his hand, trying to find more friction, more pressure.
She picked up the pace, grumbling when he held her down to slow her movements. "Gentle." He whispered against her shoulder, kissing down her arm and bringing her hand up so he could kiss each fingertip before pressing her open palm against his chest. "Do you feel that?"
She did, she could feel the slow, steady beat of his undead heart. She knew it would never beat fast like hers did, that it would never speed up no matter how excited she made him. "Yes."
Damon could hear the fear in her voice and knew that it was working. She was still in denial, but at least the denial was telling her that there was something she was hiding from herself, from him. All he had to do was get her to open up and admit everything. "My heart beats for you Elena. My body breathes for you, the simple fact of having you close to me makes me want to be human. When you're not around my heart is still, silent. Did you know that?"
She shook her head, unable to speak at first. "What does that mean?" she asked, her fingers turning to a gentle caress as she smoothed her other hand over the hard muscles of his chest.
"You know what it means." He whispered, cradling her face in his hands as he kissed her. "I know you're scared Elena, but I promise I won't ever leave you. I could never leave you, and if I have to spend the rest of eternity in this bed to prove it to you I will."
So you say "Go, it isn't working"
And I say "No, it isn't perfect"
So I stay instead
I'm never gonna leave this bed
Take it, take it all-Take all that I have
I'd give it all away just to get you back
And fake it, fake it all
Take what I can get
Elena shook her head, amazed that her body could be on fire, that she could be desperate and tight around him, aching inside for him and desperate for him to fuck her even while they talked so seriously about something they'd obviously been working hard to keep at bay. She knew there was only so long that she would be able to hide her emotions for him, and it seemed that the jig was up. "It won't work Damon. Maybe you should go."
He wouldn't let her see how deeply her words cut him. It was just her self preservation kicking in, and he knew that. Had to believe that. "I know it's not idea. It's not perfect, that I'm not perfect. I don't deserve you…but damnit Elena, I love you!" he looked deep into her eyes, pulling her up so she was sitting in his lap, her legs tight around his waist, their bodies still joined. "And I know you love me too."
"Damon, I-" she shook her head, but he silenced her with a kiss, unable to hold off moving inside her any longer.
"I'm not leaving." He whispered, his hands sliding to her hips and helping her move against him. She tried to move faster, scratched at his chest to bring out the comforting explosion from him, but he only gave her the passion he felt. The slow sensation of lovemaking was all she was going to get.
Knockin' so loud
Can you hear me yet
Try to stay awake but you can't forget
Wake you up
In the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh
You say "Go, it isn't working"
And I say "No, it isn't perfect"
So I stay instead
I'm never gonna leave this bed, ooh
Elena didn't realize she was crying until he brushed the tears away with his thumb and bent to kiss them. When she captured his mouth with hers she could taste the salty admission of her emotions and the truth in them. The tears said more than she could have out loud, but she knew that he ached for the words, that he needed them for her once and for all. She could sense the finality in every touch, in every stroke he gave over to her. There was a definite ending to this coupling and she felt the panicked fear set in. She was losing him before she really even got the chance to have him and she found herself clinging to him desperately. She wanted to tell him to leave, force him to go but she knew that she couldn't. Knew that it was pointless.
He would only argue with her, try to prove to her that he was meant to be here, meant to be with her, tangled up in and around her. "I don't want you to leave me." She cried, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "Please, don't go."
Take it, take it all
Take all that I have
Take it, take it all
Take all that I have
Take it, take it all
Take all that I have
Take it, take it all
Take all that I have
Damon nearly sighed in relief as he held her tighter against his chest. This was it, his final chance. He would give everything over to her, give himself completely over and lay it all down in her hands. She already owned his soul, his heart, his body- she might as well know it. "I'll stay as long as you need me."
"Promise?" her tone was desperate and he took comfort in the fact, gently laying her back down against the pillows.
His fingers ran through her hair, his thrusts picking up a little faster pace. He knew she would need a bit more friction to reach completion and he knew that he wouldn't be able to deny her that. "I promise."
She let her eyes close, her head fall back, her spine arch toward him. "More." She pleaded, her hands on his shoulders, her fingers digging into his muscles, urging him on.
"First, you have to say it."
Her eyes opened, looking directly up at him. "What?"
"You know what." He whispered, dipping his head to press kisses between her breasts, his tongue finding each nipple and teasing it.
She took a deep breath, her fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his neck to hold him in place. She moaned, losing herself in the sensation. Partly because it felt good, and partly to buy herself time. He pulled back all at once, completely and totally. She whimpered at the loss of heat, the loss of penetration and the simple loss of connection. She needed it back, needed him back, and knew that the only way to win was give him what he wanted. "I love you."
Take it, take it all
Take all that I have
Take it, take it all
Take all that I have
Take it, take it all
Take all that I have
Triumph and relief had him smiling, and with one quick thrust he was back inside her, his lips seared to hers. She wrapped her legs and arms tight around him, not giving him the chance of leaving her again. If he wanted her, he was going to have to take everything about her. The fear, the insecurity…and the truth she would tell him once this was all over. She'd broken up with Stefan the morning after she and Damon had torn the living room apart, her heart knowing already what her mind couldn't admit. She'd kept it a secret from him these past few weeks hoping that she would able to let him go, let it all go. Now, as they made love together she realized that she would never be able to rid herself of Damon Salvatore.
And she didn't think she would ever want to.
a/n: a little more emotional than smutty this time around, but with the story previous to this one, it was pretty hard and fast so I wanted to try to polar opposite. Hope it worked out well for your reading pleasure. I had a real love/hate relationship with the ending where Elena left him feeling all broken and I felt that songfic needed some closure, so what's better than another sonfic to tie up the loose ends
