Kirimi sat in her living room on top of her TV (which currently looked like a sofa in her hallucinatory state), staring down into the book of riddles that she had received in the mail from her distant family. The book contained many riddles, from the most embarrassingly obvious ones to the ones that would've made Einstein rip out his hair. None of these riddles, however, seemed any different to Kirimi. She answered them all at ease in about four seconds.

The blue fox finally came across one riddle near the center of the book, it was quite short and pretty simple-looking. Kirimi straightened her blue santa-hat and read:

What's brown and sticky?

Kirimi blinked. "Well...shit, of course."

No no, she contradicted herself. What sense would that make? Besides, I'd hate to imagine tat shit is really sticky, plus, a child may come across this book, so therefore the answer would have to be appropriate.

Her long blue tail swished with agitation as she thought of something else to answer with. It had already been six seconds, a pretty insulting amount of time for a painfully short riddle in Kirimi's mind.

Mmm...how about mud?

Somehow that didn't seem right either. Ten seconds. Beads of sweat began to form on Kirimi's forehead, which she wiped off with an air of frustration. The riddles was four fucking words long!

Um... what about...

No.

No.

NO.

Good GOD, no!

A minute had past and Kirimi finally cracked. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ANSWER!" She screamed, then flung the book against the wall. The spine broke with a mighty crack and Kirimi was briefly relieved that Flippy wasn't in the nearby area.

The book fell open in front of the TV when the blue fox noticed something. There was some very small print underneath the riddle, and Kirimi's heart pounded: the answer. She jumped off the "couch" and picked up the book.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick, dumbass.

Kirimi's eye twitched.

o0o0o0o

Lumpy worked at the fire department. He was horrible at it, he couldn't save anyone's life let alone his own, and yet he worked there. He often sat around, chomping away at heart-sandwiches and playing with matches until a call came. In all honesty, Lumpy wondered why anyone bothered asking to be saved anymore. But the question never lingered, he was too stupid to dwell on such a stable topic.

But anyway, Lumpy had decided to see what would happen if he poured a cup of gasoline onto a lit match. He was about to complete his experiment when, fortunately, a call came.

RIIIIING! RIIIIING! RIIIING! RII-

"Hello?" Lumpy grumbled, blowing out the match.

"HELP! HELP!" Giggles screamed on the other end. "MY NEIGHBOR, KIRIMI, HER HOUSE IS ON FIRE! AND SHE'S AT THE WINDOW SCREAMING 'STICKS' LIKE A MANIAC!"

Lumpy sat, dumbstruck. The answer to this problem was obvious. "Miss, calm down," Lumpy mused. "Simply give the badger some sticks."

"FOX! AND THE FLAMES ARE GETTING HIGHER, MY HOUSE IS GONNA-"

Lumpy hung up the phone, letting out an irritated sigh. He lit another match in one hand and prepared the cup of gasoline in the other. Sometimes, people were just so stupid.

Like? Hate? Either or, please review. And no worries, I'll find a way to finish Kirimi vs. Evil. Thank you~