Our story begins on the most frightening night of the year. Next to Arbor Day's Eve, that is. It was Halloween, and a group of rather unusual individuals had gathered in a spookily decorated room. There was a stegoceratops painted white with black spots, her husband (who was dressed as a cowboy), a yellow dragon with a pink shirt and very fake feathered wings, a winged woman with very fake dragon wings, a green hybrid reptile dressed as Donald Duck, a beige hybrid dinosaur dressed as Minnie Mouse, a human man and his wife dressed as Han Solo and Princess Leia, a semiaquatic hybrid in green makeup, and a bipedal hybrid dressed as a flying monkey. Given the context, this made perfect sense and was actually very funny.

The group was sitting around a table, munching on Halloween-themed snacks. The cowboy snapped his fingers, as if he had just had a good idea. Probably because he had just had a good idea.

"Scary stories? Scary stories."

He cleared his throat.

"Once upon a time . . ."

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". . . and the computer geek said: 'We've traced the dinosaur. It's in your paddock!'."

The cow-dinosaur rolled her eyes.

"First of all, that's very derivative, and second, it actually happened, so thanks for pouring salt in that wound. If you want to hear a really scary story, listen up!"

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". . . and when she walked back to her desk, someone had mislabeled all of her files. Wooooooooo . . ."

The Donald Duck hybrid snorted.

"That's nothing! Feast your ears on this chilling tale!"

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". . . and then she swallowed her eyeballs, chewing on them noisily until the fluid seeped out from her-"

"Okay, that's enough," Han Solo interrupted, "Here's my story . . ."

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". . . and then Michael Myers stabs him repeatedly, and we cut to-"

Princess Leia pushed him jokingly.

"Oh, please. That's so unoriginal."

"Well, do you have a scarier story?" he sassed.

"I've raised two children. Nothing is scary to me."

The flying monkey raised his hand.

"Excuse me, but I think I might have something slightly scary to say."

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". . . and when he came back, all of his friends were gone, because they didn't like him anymore."

The dragon with fake feathered wings rolled her eyes.

"Oh, for the love of god, if you want to hear a really scary story, like, one that isn't lame or depressing . . ."

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". . . and then the author was sued for plagiarism, marking the second time she had ripped off Community. See? Copyright violation is terrifying!"

Everyone stared at her sardonically. The cowboy sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Maybe we'd better just watch a movie or something."

"Wait!" the green semiaquatic reptile interrupted, "I have a story, and I promise it's scary."

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". . . and then the jaws of the giant monster closed around the flying reptile and the innocent victim who was just trying to babysit two ungrateful, snot-nosed kids. And also, she was about to get married, so it was super sad."

The group stared at her awkwardly.

"Um . . . was that a personal story?" the beige dinosaur asked.

"Maybe. Sorry if I got a bit graphic. I just remember it so vividly . . ."

There was another awkward silence. No one quite knew what to say. Finally, the woman who was dressed as a dragon scratched her arm.

"See, this is why I used to hate Halloween. That, and my mother never let me eat candy."

The real dragon clapped her paws.

"Tragic backstory time!"

The cow-dinosaur cleared her throat.

"Well, that's enough scary stories for me. I'm off to bed."

The cowboy stood up as she did.

"Me too."

"What's really scary is thinking about what they're gonna do next," the beige dinosaur muttered.

"I'll head off too," the green semiaquatic reptile yawned.

"And I'll join you," the flying monkey added.

"We're probably gonna split soon," Han Solo sighed, placing his arm around his wife, "I guess this means everyone is going their separate ways. Bummer."

Eventually, everyone left the room. Well, except for the yellow dragon. She sat alone in the dark, rocking back and forth on her feet.

"I'll tell you what would scare me: watching the audience's reactions to this short if they've never read The Silliest Jurassic World FanFiction Ever Written."

She laughed loudly, but broke into an uncomfortable hum after a few seconds.

"And now I'm talking to myself . . . That's Chaos Theory."

AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT!