"SICILY WAKE UPPPPPP WAKE UP!" a certain French capital screamed from outside the Italian house. "NOWWWWW~!"

"PARIS, SHUT THE CABBAGE UP! IT'S NOON-THIRTY, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!" a certain Italian, who was not, in fact, sleeping, or even trying to sleep, shouted back.

"YOUR FAIRY TRIED TO KILL ME!"

"GOOD FOR HER- Wait, what?"

"Come outside and I'll explain~"

"Give me a minute, Frenchie…" Indeed, a minute later Sicily was standing outside with her French… friend? "You're kidding, right? Fia's too stupid to plan anything like that."

"I'm being serious! That fairy looks smarter than she might lead us to believe…" Paris scratched her chin, suddenly wearing an outfit similar to Sherlock Holmes.

Sicily, noting the outfit, noted, "Sherlock Holmes is British. Not French. Anyway, tell me everything."

Paris rolled her eyes, "I just like the hat, silly~. Anyway, Fia tried to drop a brick on my head!"

"Sure she did," Sicily agreed sarcastically. "Would you like to sue?"

"No, Watson...we're going to try and figure out if Fia! is evil!"

"Right you are, sir… So how come you're Sherlock?"

"Because I've got the fancy hat~"

"Screw you." This basically meant that Sicily didn't feel like arguing this point but also didn't want to give Paris the satisfaction of winning.

"Hehe~~~" She smiled widely and dragged Sicily off. "Let's go!"

Unbeknownst to the girls, Fia was watching them from her perch in a bush. "Crap, they're on to me," she muttered. "Just once more, and they won't say a word to anyone..." She took off and disappeared, but to where, anyone's guess was as good as anyone else's.

Sicily gave Paris an extremely skeptical look as she said, "I assume you have some sort of plan, oh great genius?"

"Why yes, yes I do, miss sassy pants."

"Do go on."

Paris then proceeded to put out cream and honey, "This is supposed to attract fairies…"

Nothing happened.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Sicily asked.

"Patience, young padawan."

Nothing continued to happen.

"Pari-" Sicily was suddenly laying on the ground unconscious and the cream and honey were gone.

"...I'm healthcare!" Paris muttered before passing out as well.

=^w^=

An unknown amount of time later, the two girls gradually came around… Lying together in Sicily's bed.

Paris groaned, "bleh….oh hello sissy~~"

Sicily took a few minutes to register where she was and rolled out of bed screaming nonsense syllables. Eventually she managed to get out, "NOT FUNNY, PARIS!"

"Language!"

"I haven't even started cursing you out yet, just you wait!"

"Just get up, we have work to do…~"

Sicily crossed her arms and scowled, but she eventually pushed herself off the floor, growling, "I suppose you're going to say it was Fia that did that, not you…"

"I passed out as well!"

"Oh sure you did! Before or after you knocked me out and got into bed with me?!"

"I said healthcare and passed out!"

"Oh shut up, you know you love each other!" Fia was perched on the bookshelf, smiling innocently. "And Paris, you should really stop lying to her~"

Paris hugged Sicily tightly and screamed like a little girl, "It's thE DEVIL RUN!"

Sicily tried to push the French capital off her, yelling, "Get off me, Frenchie!"

"She's the devil!"

"Fia! What happened back there?!" Sicily snapped.

"Exactly what you guessed~ You know Paris well, teehee~" Fia lied.

"Shut up! We weren't drunk this time!"

"By 'we', do you mean I wasn't drunk even though you were?" Sicily shot a stare at Paris. "You said Fia tried to kill you!"

Fia plastered a look of shock onto her tiny face. "Why would I do that? I can't ship you two if one of you is dead!"

"...Well then, I guess your ship just sank before it left port, you demon."

"What? But why?" Fia whined.

"You. Are. EVIL."

Fia put a hand to her heart. "That hurts, Paris!" she pouted. "Why are you so mean?"

"That. Is. IT. DISHONOR! DISHONOR ON YOU! DISHONOR ON YOUR COW...no offense Sicily"

"Why you...!" Sicily tackled Paris and shouted, "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A COW?!"

"Bu-but you're a pretty Island~"

Sicily gave Paris a demonic stare. "Fia clearly didn't kill you, but maybe I will…"

"I HATE TO INTERRUPT YOUR LOVER'S FIGHT… But don't you think it's a little quiet around here~?" Fia observed.

"Oui, you have a point, devil fairy…"

"I swear, I'm a perfect little angel!"

"Both of you, shut up and let's go see why this place is awkwardly quiet," Sicily muttered. "I hardly think it's likely that my brothers are just gone. They didn't have any plans for today."

Paris jumped to her feet. "She killed them!" she insisted, pointing a finger at Fia and glaring at her.

"B-but the Gerita and Spamano!" Fia cried, tears in her eyes.

"Shaddup!"

"I agree with her for once…" Sicily led the way out of her room, heading to Veneziano's room first.

Paris followed her quickly and glared at Fia whilst leaving.

Sicily froze as she peeked in her brother's room. "Oh no…"

"...What?"

Sicily backed away from the doorway and shoved Paris in to see North Italy motionless on the floor and surrounded by pasta.

Paris gasped, "There's glitter around him! And not the pasta!"

"... Think it's fairy dust?"

"Duuh~"

"Maybe Fia got Romano too…?" And with that Sicily was gone, leaving Paris alone with pasta, sparkles and a North Italian.

"H-hey wait up!" Paris ran after her quickly.

Sicily halted and told Paris, "You're going in first."

"Fine! I will…~" she stated hesitantly, moving into Romano's room slowly.

The French capital screamed when she saw the sight before her; instead of pasta there were tomatoes splattered around the fallen Italian, and some on his own body.

Sicily peeked in and gasped softly. "T-they're not both d-dead, are they?" she whispered, on the verge of panicking.

"I-I don't know…."

"Why would Fia do this?!"

"So now you believe me!?"

"I… I don't know, but who else would it be? And… am I next?" Sicily worried. She happened to like living, most of the time at least.

"I shall protect you!"

"How do you plan to do that? I seem to recall that you claimed to have said 'healthcare' and passed out..."

"Shut up!"

"I will not! Wait... What was that sound...?"

"I….Don't know…."

"... DUCK!"

Paris blinked and dove to the floor quickly. Sicily joined her and a loud twang was audible from just above them, where their heads had been. A knife stuck in the wall, quivering, having been shot from something that looked like a bowstring.

"There's no way that wasn't Fia... If there wasn't magic involved that wouldn't have worked!" Sicily stared wide-eyed at the cause of their near death.

"... We should read the note attached to it…" Paris sat up slowly, inching forward like the knife would bite her any minute.

"Right... You do that and I'll check to make sure there aren't any other traps in here..."

"...It reads, ahem, 'SICILY IF YOU DON'T AGREE TO DATE BOTH PARIS AND TOKYO I WILL KILL YOU ALL AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!'"

Sicily stared at Paris and mumbled, "Please tell me you're joking..." She went to read the note for herself, blinked, read it again, and sighed, "Any chance you just put this here to freak me out? No? Didn't think so..." She turned around and, seeing Fia wasn't present, shouted as loudly as she could, "WHY ME?"

Said fairy replied, "BECAUSE YOU'RE SHIPPABLE AND THEY AREN'T."

Paris blinked, feigning hurt, "...Well then."

"THEY'RE BOTH GIRLS! AND I'M CATHOLIC!" Sicily added under her breath, "Not like I've got a chance anyway. I'm going straight to that country."

"Fine, I think I'll kill Veneziano first…~" Fia mused.

"N-no! Please don't!" Sicily begged.

"Will you agree to my terms?"

"If you've got to kill someone, kill me!" Sicily pleaded, tears leaking from her eyes. "But I can't just agree to date two girls without their agreement!"

Paris grinned, "I agree~"

"Sorellaaaaa, you're not helping!"

"There's one," Fia muttered

"And Tokyo isn't here!" Sicily reminded her.

"She does have a phone…"

"No! I'm not asking her out over a phone! Where's the romance in that?!" Sicily reddened as she realized what she said and broke off awkwardly. "T-that's not what I meant to say..."

"... True, true…. Alright, I'll lay off for a while...A WHILE!" Fia mused, flying around the room.

Paris had pulled out a fly swatter and swatted the said annoying shipping fairy out of the air. "Stay."

Sicily, however, just let out a relieved sigh and melted into a puddle on the floor.

Paris patted her head and smiled, "You're cute when you melt like a popsicle."

Sicily blushed and groaned, "Shut up... I hate you..."

"Love you too~"

"You know you love her~ you know you do~" Fia sang. "Oh and by the way, I stole your phone and texted your little Asian love that you have something important to tell her and she needs to come over right now!~"

"FIA!" Sicily groaned and curled up into a ball. "Someone kill me now... Wait no, kill Paris..."

"WHU- why me?!" Paris yelped.

"Because this is your fault."

"Is not!"

"If you weren't so French this wouldn't have been a problem!" Sicily didn't believe it, but she had to blame Paris for something. She was French. That was enough reason, right? Sicily's soul flew away when she heard the doorbell ring.

"That should be her~~!" Fia grinned. "Now aren't you gonna go say hi to your new girlfriend...?"

"... Kill me now."

Paris ran after Fia and giggled, "No way!"

Sicily made dying whale noises and dragged herself after them.

"S-SICIRY-CHAAAN, I-IS THAT YOU DYING IN THERE?!"

"Maybe!... Yes..." Sicily pulled open the front door. "Yes. Hi, it's me, your friendly neighborhood Sicilian that is going to MURDER A CERTAIN FAIRY..."

"...Sooo... You are not dying?" She stared blankly at the annoyed Sicilian. "W-what happened? W-what is it you need to terr me?"

"Sicily just wants to confess her undying love for you, Kyo~"

Sicily blushed bright red and mumbled, "WellyouseewhathadhappenedwasFiasaidshewouldkillusandmywholefamilyifIdidn'tagreetodatebothofyouandsoherewearewowit'scoldisn'tit?"

"Wat. W-wait, so... we aren't arready dating? ...Oh... W-whoops..." She grinned shyly as her face grew red. "Fia is cord, i-isn't she?"

Sicily turned even redder, although that hardly seemed possible, and started making faces like a fish out of water gasping for breath. "You...thought...you...what...does not compute..."

"F-FIA TORD ME EVERYTHING, OKAY?" Kyo suddenly screamed, pointing directly at the mini fairy behind Sicily.

"E-everything? E-even that one t-time I-" Sicily cut herself off and turned her blushing face away.

"T-that one time you... what? N-no! I meant everything as in... she tord me about the dating thing aaaand..."

Sicily whispered, "I'm just gonna go die now, ok...?"

"Wow...that escalated quickly..." Paris whistled.

"N-NO, YOU CAN'T DIE ON US. YOU'RE OUR ROVE!"

"I'M DYING. I MENTIONED THE THING BECAUSE I THOUGHT FIA TOLD YOU AND SHE DIDN'T AND AAAAAAAAAAH!" Sicily spazzed.

"AAAH," Tokyo screamed along, for no reason at all, "W-WHAT THING? Paris, do you know the thing?" She hesitated. Did she really want to know? "F-Fia?"

"N-NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THE THING!"

"I'll tell you~~" Fia smiled.

Sicily fainted dead away.

"O-oh my gosh, m-my new girrfriend just fainted..." She turned to her other "girlfriend" and gestured to Sicily. "W-WHAT DO WE DOOO?"

Paris shrugged, "Try to hide the body?"


A/N: ….. Remind me how this turned into shipping again, guys? /shot

It's Fia. Everything is shipping with her.

True… Let's NOT remind her about Dennorily. I don't even want to know how that would end.

...oh no. yea let's not….;;;;

Soooooo yeah… This was not originally intended to be shipping but Fia is Fia so that happened. Look what you've done, Paris.

I did EVERYTHING

It's all your fault. Even Tokyo.

I'm the reason we cannot have nice things. uwu

.Yeeeeep owo

nyan XD

...Muddy, are you there? Are you alive? Do you have anything to say? *whispers* Don't mention the thing.

I won't mention the thing. XD We hope you liked our craziness~ cx

Craziness does describe this well, doesn't it? Whelp… It was Roseh's idea!

...She's the source for all things crazy and Fia.

You know it~

Si, she is where we get most of our craziness. Oh and Muddy when she has a Monster.

*coughs awkwardly* Whaaat? No way…

Norway… Yes way.

Calm down, Sicily. I didn't say Norway.

tHERE'S A ONE LETTER DIFFERENCE GOSH.

I THINK WE SHOULD WRAP THIS UP BEFORE SHE EXPLODES. D:

TOO LATEEEEEE *explodes*