"Today, I'm here to tell you about why I hate Jeon Jungkook." Park Jimin recites these words as he stands outside the gym. He runs a hand through his hair and is not surprised that he finds pieces of limp smeraldo flowers clinging to his fingers. But his hands are shaking and he's panting like he just ran a marathon, but there is nothing he can do now. "Today I'm here to tell you-" Jimin breathes, his voice breaking as he drops to the ground. "Damn it," Jimin whispers from his place on the floor. He breathes hard out of his nose, his breath leaving his body in one strong huff. He stands up, wiping away non-existent ghosts of tears as he walks into the gym. Today, I'm here to tell you about why I hate Jeon Jungkook. Jimin thinks. He looks out onto the sea of the student body and breathes out yet again. Breathe in, breathe out. Jungkook's face swims before him and Jimin's breath hitches.

"-This was a terrible accident." Someone is saying that it was an accident. And suddenly, Jimin runs out of the gym, his hand over his mouth and the other tightly clutching a note. He slams the door shut, not caring if anyone hears him, and screams. Terrible, broken screams. And maybe it is because Jimin has mild depression or that he is pessimistic, but all Jimin can see is Jungkook's body hanging from the rafters, and can feel Jungkook's soft breath on his face as he laughs in the middle of the night, see those large black doe eyes and the ebony hair. And the ghosts of Jimin's tears fall on the note he has in his hands.

'inblooms never prosper'

- jungkook

Jimin can still hear their principal. "Jungkook was a good student, had many friends, was happy with Jimin-" Jimin doesn't stop to hear anything else, because he laughs. There are so many reasons why Jungkook should have left him. He doesn't need someone else to tell him that because he knew. Jimin's eyes water with tears as hysterical laughter bursts out of his lungs. Ever since Jungkook died, he's been unstable and irritable, even Namjoon, the most level-headed of his friends, gave up trying to reason with him. And Jimin knows why. It's because of Jungkook. Because without Jungkook, Jimin just kind of sank. And never came back up.

But Jimin kind of knows, he kind of knows that he wasn't healthy for Jungkook. He kind of knows that he wasn't the roses and fiery sunsets that his best friend should have deserved, he kind of knows that he was that feeling of loneliness when you wake up and realise that he left you. And where does that leave Jimin? Staring at "inblooms never prosper", written by his best friend. It leaves Jimin writhing on the floor as he runs, runs, runs again, but he can't get away anymore, can't get away from Jungkook, or from himself, or from his faults and fears because he's fallen, fallen to the ground and his fears and faults have caught up with him.

It leaves him in his position, forced to give a speech about his best friend, Jeon Jungkook. His best friend, who he loved. His best friend, who he killed. And this is why he hates Jeon Jungkook. Jimin is sitting on the floor, numb when the principal's words shake him from his stupor. And he can't run. Not anymore, because he's standing in front of his school, he can't run, because he's holding his speech in his hand along with Jungkook's suicide note. He can't run, because he's opening his mouth and talking.