Ichigo,
It's been a while since I've been able to reach you. For a while, I was unaware of what you did after that sad day. Although I thought about you, I know they were just simple things of my imagination. I assumed you'd been with Matsumoto all this time. Or lived another life making some other woman happy. But, somehow, I wasn't surprised when Matsumoto had to told me you waited for me in that house…from the day I left, until now.
I apologize for the way I left. I know you must have been worried about me. But, I felt I no longer had a reason to stay in Karakura Town, or Japan for that matter, nor a place to stay. All my life has been with you. "If I am no longer with you, where does life in Japan need me?" I thought. Well, I also thought about the only two dreams in my life. The most important one was to be with you. That dream started that day we met at the Obon Festival. After that day, the rest were as bright as the heavens. But, that dream quickly darkened and turned into a nightmare when I saw you and Matsumoto that day. So the only dream I had left, was to travel the world.
Since I'd just arrived in New York with nothing but a change of clothes, I decided I would travel the United States first. For days, I wandered and wandered with no place to go. But one day I decided to take a seat at a park I had passed many times. I saw another Japanese woman, looking as amazed as I had on that first day I came. She spoke to me with a warm smile, "Rukia desu," she said. I assured her I spoke English and she invited me to have a cup of coffee after we'd become acquainted. About a month after, we decided to meet in that same place in the park when our fates had decided to collide again. She helped me get back on my feet, and my journey began.
I went to so many places…Washington, California, Texas, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, South Dakota, North Dakota, Maine…all through 48 states. But I had decided to skip that one left besides New York and return to Japan once more. When I came back, I felt much like an outsider. Any normal person would feel at home, but I felt a huge lump in my throat and almost always like my chest was about to burst. I never understood why until that day I returned to that New York park to see Rukia waiting for me with that same warm smile from the first day we'd met.
Soon after me and Rukia settled down as roommates in an apartment, I fell terribly ill. I was bedridden. I wrote tens of letters to you but never had the courage to send them. I wrote one to Matsumoto, expecting you to be with her, I made sure she wouldn't tell you. It was a final "Sayonara," much like this one.
Ichigo, instead of beating around the bush, I would like to tell you that I will die within a month. I really do want to see you, but I wouldn't like to see your sad face. I want to see that happiness you had when we were 20. I want to see the scowl you used to casually wear. I want to see that face you made when we made passionate love again. If I could stop time to see only those faces from you, I would. But, I know if we see each other now, you will have a sad one. But, don't worry Ichigo, I have lived a happy life…so I have no regrets.
Sometimes, as I traveled the many states, I wondered…why are these people so happy all the time? Why do they just expect their lives to go on forever? "Sayonara," they used to tell me. "See you some other time," as if they knew we would. But then, as I was lying in my bed writing another letter to you, I asked myself a question. "Why is this happening to me? Why am I the one chosen for this terrible fate?" But now, I know that answer. "Because I am the only one who can walk that path of fate with pride, no restraints or regrets, and…that little bit of love I still have left for you in my heart."
On that final day we saw each other, you told me, "I still love you, Orihime." But it meant nothing to me as you jumped out Matsumoto's bed naked. Little did you know that would be the last day you'd ever see me again. I wondered why I had nothing to say to you as I turned my back and walked away. But now, I've had time to think it over and I actually had millions of things to say. They were just masked by confusion. Well Ichigo, I'll tell you some of those millions of things I wanted to say that day:
"These days I have spent with you have been filled with bittersweet happiness. I never thought I could be happier. I can't explain this feeling I have, but I know I will never have it again. Just loving you, I wish that was all it was. It's the happiness that you have given me that makes me love you. Even though you have betray me, I only love you slightly less. Just loving me? I wish that was all it was…"
Even though we never had the chance to marry, make sure you don't blame it on my leaving…because it was your own mistake that brought us here. But I admit, it was a beautiful mistake for me, so to speak.
Sayonara Ichigo,
Kurosaki Orihime
Author's Note: Okay guys, I admit I really hate one shots…but I think some of them are just necessary. So, I would like to say although this is slightly vague, I hope you liked it and I really want you to review….Thanx for taking the time to read this and check out my other story "Koigokoro One's Love"
TiffanY
