Disclaimer::: I obviously don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I would be a millionaire and not even bothering to go on sites such as Fanfiction.
Too old, too poor, too dangerous…Are those the only reasons he had? The only reasons he had for not wanting me?
He thought I deserved somebody 'young and whole'. But I don't want somebody young and whole. I want him.
You can't choose love. It just happens. And he won't even give me a chance.
My face felt hard and cracked from all the dried tears. It felt like my heart. Between the pain of Remus's outright rejection and Dumbledore's death, I was breaking. I was falling apart.
Fresh tears started rolling down my cheeks. I should have been up, doing something for the Order. But I couldn't make myself move. Every step I took without him broke me further.
I guess I was wallowing in self-pity so much that I didn't hear the front door open. Suddenly, Remus was standing in my bedroom doorway. What little remained of my heart jumped and flipped at the sight of him. I could see how hurt he was by my distraught appearance. Good. It serves him right.
"Nymphadora, I'm so sorry." His voice was laced with guilt.
All I could do was stare at him.
"I just want what's best for you. And I'm not it. I want to see you happy." He forced a smile.
I didn't return it.
"Please," he begged, as if he wanted me to understand him. I would never see it the way he did, and I would never give up on him.
He walked over and sat down next to me. My heart was doing gymnastics in my chest. Oh, how I wanted him. Couldn't he see that he was just torturing me more?
"Will you at least speak to me?"
He didn't understand that I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. It was like he stupefied me with his very presence.
And then he wrapped his arms around me. My body instantly reacted by turning to mush. But it felt good. More than good. It felt right.
"Forgive me." Remus whispered.
"I…I can't." My voice sounded nasally and cracked from all the crying I had been doing.
He tried to look into my eyes, but I turned my head away. I couldn't bear to look at him. I would surely die.
He put his hand on my cheek and gently turned my head back towards him. He put his other hand on the other side of my face, and then he kissed me.
My heart almost exploded when his lips touched mine. He was soft and gentle, slowly moving his hands from my face, to my hair. My arms acted of their own accord as they pulled him closer to me.
Warmth spread throughout my body as our kiss deepened. Our tongues met and started to dance. It felt right…so right.
I leaned way into him, forcing him back down on my bed. His hands snaked down from my hair to the hem of my shirt. He broke our kiss and delicately drew it over my head and tossed it behind him.
I then helped him out of his shirt. The feel of my skin on his skin was amazing. His eyes met mine. They were full of love. Now I knew he wanted me as badly as I wanted him.
He quickly sat up and our bodies crushed together. He kissed me again, but this time more forcefully-more passionately. His hands were making circles on my back, making me go limp again. God that was annoying.
He was smiling. And it was for me. I think a large part of my heart mended itself then. I felt amazing.
"You're so beautiful," he said, caressing my face. My cheeks flamed hot red under his touch.
His eyes moved all over my body, drinking my half-naked self in. I was his, all his. He'd always had me, even though he said he didn't want me. Did he want me now? Or was he just toying with me, as he knew he could? Pain lacerated through me.
"What's wrong?" Remus asked, voice full of concern.
I started crying again. I'm really, really, really stupid. I finally had the man of my dreams…and I was crying.
He held me close to him, gently rocking me as I cried. He stroked my hair, which I'm sure had changed color by now. I wonder what color it was?
"Why don't you want me?" I finally voiced through my tears. I was afraid of the answer, but I needed to know.
"I do want you, Nymphadora. Very much. And now that I see that I can't possibly stay away from you, the only question left is, do YOU want ME?"
"Yes, of course." What, is he stupid? I practically drained myself of all bodily fluids because of him. Of COURSE I wanted him.
"I'm sorry. I really and truly am sorry." Remus leaned in and gave me another kiss.
"You'd better be..." I threatened, and glared up at him.
He mussed up my hair and smiled again.
"You know your hair's bright red, right?"
"Well you were making me hot." I mumbled, embarrassed. Damn hair.
He laughed. I love it when he laughs. His eyes sparkle.
"I love you, Nymphadora Tonks."
"And I love you, Remus Lupin."
Suddenly I was very tired. I guess all that crying and kissing and crying again then kissing some more wore me out, because before I knew it I had fallen asleep on his chest, listening to his heart beat. And I knew it was beating just for me.
Aww! Such a happy little ending. Too bad they die… eh well.And remember, Waffles loves to hear what you thought!!! Good or bad, it's all the same. Thank you all!!!!!!
Much love and syrup,
Waffles
