The Mistletoe Test

By: Hisaki Kei

Summary: The Hokage's Annual Christmas Eveparty provides an excellent chance for Naruto and Ino to hatch a little test. The test subjects: Neji, Sakura and a little bunch of mistletoe.

Genre: Romance / Humor. Somewhat AU-ish I guess. Has nothing to do with the original storyline.

Rating: PG-13, just to be on the safe side.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: Second one-shot. I have no idea why the thought of mistletoe hit me in the middle of the month of May. Neji might seem a little OOC… Sorry. He's not an easy character to maintain. Many thanks to all Neji/Saku fics out there that have inspired me, and to Leafygirl's story The Tempest, that I am immensely enjoying now. I hope you guys had fun reading it, because I really had fun writing it.

Oh, and since I haven't updated in a frustratingly long time, I seem to be a bit unused to the certain new 'features' when uploading documents. Somehow or other, my Verdana font and other styles in my fic (such as Bolds, Italics, etc.) are not preserved at all. It's irritating when I have to re-do all of it using QuickEdit. If someone can kindly explain to me why that happens, I'd really appreciate it.


He stared at her.

Really stared at her.

She took a step forward, and he backed away.

Beads of sweat were already sliding down the sides of his face at an alarmingly fast rate. He swallowed hard and took another step back as she advanced on him once again.

Goddammit.

He was trapped.

Emerald eyes flashed triumphantly and she grinned as she pinned him to the wall.

"Neji-kun…"

Shit.

At the sound of her soft voice, the sweet smile on her face, and the intoxicatingly close proximity between them, he gave in.

"Fine," he muttered, "I was going to go anyway to make sure the security is not taken too lightly just because it is the festive season."

"Ah, ah, ah… You mister," Sakura said as she jabbed her index finger into his hard chest, "are going to have some fun, whether you like it or not, do you hear me?"

Giggling cutely, she flashed him a bright smile and kissed him lightly on his cheek before spinning away.

"Arigatou! Besides, you really need a break! You've been on too many missions non-stop for the past three weeks! We'll get to loosen up a bit tonight!"

Watching her happily pounce about in his room, he felt the corners of his mouth curl up into the small smile he allowed himself to show only when they were alone. She noticed it and blushed, because usually when he did that, it meant that he wanted something.

Something that involved a bed.

With both of them on it together.

In a split second the ANBU had pushed her and pinned her to their bed. Giggling nervously, she said, "Ah, not that I'm complaining… but… the party's only about three hours away."

Nuzzling her neck, he replied smoothly, "Don't worry. We'll be there."


"Please Hokage-sama! Just this once?" A girlish voice pleaded.

"It means a lot to us cos' we really gotta know for sure if he loves her!" A boyish voice pleaded this time.

Tsunade rubbed her chin thoughtfully. In front of her desk sat two blondes of the opposite gender. She sweatdropped as two pairs of blue eyes blinked at her at the same time.

Oh heck, I guess a little fun wouldn't hurt…

Grinning at them, she said, "Alright, I'll let you have your little 'test' at my party… but… we're going to do it like this…" and leaned forward to explain her plan. After a moment of silence when she was done, they exchanged glances.

"Mistletoe?"


"Wow, it's not even 8 o'clock yet and almost all of Konoha is already here!" exclaimed a very ecstatic Naruto. Beside him, his white-eyed girlfriend agreed. "Yeah. This is going to be one big party."

"Hey…hey! W-Wait! Ino! Stop that! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!" Shikamaru cried, as his girlfriend tried to fix his messy hair.

"How much more troublesome can this get?" the Nara complained as he leaned back against the wall. "Why couldn't we just have worn our normal shinobi uniforms?"

Huffing, Ino whacked his arm and replied, "Because dear, this is a formal occasion, which requires formal clothes. Now stand still!"

Naruto and Hinata watched with sympathetic looks on their faces, as Ino resumed her attacks on Shikamaru's hair.

"Oi!"

They turned to see Kiba and Akamaru making their way up to them. Behind them were Lee and Ten Ten, arm in arm with each other. All of them exchanged greetings and Lee asked, "Where's Sakura-san and Neji?"

As if on cue, a very bouncy Sakura and a bored looking Neji burst through the doors. Or rather, he let her burst through while he trailed behind her.

"Sorry guys! Are we late?"

Naruto grinned and gave her a peck on the cheek, earning a blush from her and not so much as a small eyebrow twitch from Neji. "Nah, just in time!"

Suddenly, the big village clock struck eight times, thus marking the start of the party. Tsunade, who no doubt had the extremely low-cut evening gown she wore tailored to provide her audience with an ample amount of cleavage to stare at, elegantly climbed up the stage. Tapping the microphone and making a small irritated sound, she boomed out, "Christmas at last! Thank you all of you that are here! Tonight is going to be the best Christmas party Konoha has ever had! Am I right!"

Loud cheers followed by lots of clapping were heard, and the Hokage bowed before walking off the stage. Loud music blared out through the huge stereo system set up on the stage.

Ino shot Naruto an evil grin, to which he responded with a thumbs up sign and an evil grin of his own. Leaning to her left ear he asked, "Everyone's clear with their… 'instructions', right?"

"Absolutely."

Let the test begin.


"Alriiiight! Let's hit the dance floor Neji!"

Neji crossed his arms.

"No."

"But Neji…"

"I don't want to."

Sakura pouted. "Fine then, suit yourself! You don't know what you're missing!" With that, she flung her coat off and went to join Naruto and Ino.

Catching her coat with his left hand, Neji grumbled and stalked off to the long row of refreshment tables at the utmost left of the hall. Ignoring the glass punch bowl with a red ribbon tied around it, he snatched a can of beer off the table instead. He frowned at the can; Neji didn't particularly like beer. He'd always preferred his sake. But then again, he'd rather the bitter tasting liquid than the red juice concoction that he knew was too sweet for his tastes, although he'd never tried any of it before.

Making his way back to an empty table nearby, he seated himself and popped the lid of the cold can in his hand. Staring as the bubbles fizzled away, he blinked and lifted the can slowly, to his lips. At the same time, two men seated themselves opposite him, not really noticing that he was there. White eyes regarded them closely and Neji snorted when he concluded that they were only Chuunins. The first Chuunin spoke.

"Oh wow, that's one hot chick."

The beer can paused halfway up to his lips.

"Which one? The one in red?"

The fingers holding the can twitched, and some beer spilled out.

"Yep. She stands out so much more than all ta rest."

Feh, there're so many people wearing red, it can't possibly…

"I'd like to run my hands through those pink locks as much as you do."

Both men turned at the sound of crinkling aluminum. Neji was glaring at them, not bothering about his beer-dripping hand. Oblivious to the dangerous aura the Hyuuga was admitting, the second Chuunin grinned.

"So you'd like ta get into bed with her too, dontcha?"

Thinking it best not to say anything, Neji left the beer mess on the table and made his way to the toilet. Those fools must have really not known who he was, if not, they wouldn't have been so stupid as to say such things, in front of him no less. Glancing over his shoulder he caught a glimpse of pink that vanished into the midst of the wildly moving bodies of every different color imaginable.


"May I cut in?"

Whipping around at the familiar voice, Sakura blinked at her current dancing partner who had actually changed out of his infamous green suit to wear some casual clothes for a change.

Lee grinned, "Sure Genma-san! I was just gonna go grab a drink for Ten Ten and myself! Have fun!"

Running off to join his girlfriend, Lee disappeared just as Genma placed his hand at the small of her back and whisked her to the more left side of the dance floor.

"So… er… Iruka-sensei's doing a great job with the music, don't you think?" Sakura commented. She never knew what to say around Genma.

"Hmm? Yeah, he's had experience with DJ-ing before," came his amused reply.

They continued to dance in silence, Sakura enjoying the way Genma was sweeping her around.

"Genma-" Without a warning, Sakura was cut off when Genma lowered his head and claimed her mouth with a soft lingering kiss. Startled, she opened her mouth to mutter something that she knew wasn't going to make sense when Genma, taking the opportunity slid his tongue in for the faintest of brushes against her own.

"Thank you for the dance Miss Haruno. I enjoyed… myself." Winking seductively at her, he pointed upwards and stalked off, leaving Sakura dumbfounded. Lifting a hand to her lips, Sakura stared at Genma's retreating back and dumbly looked above her. It took her awhile to register the few berries and leaves as mistletoe into her usually bright mind.

"Yo Sakura!"

Turning her head slowly, she saw Kakashi amble his way up to her, his one visible eye slightly crinkled to show that he was smiling beneath his mask.

"Ka-Kakashi-sensei!" She gasped, "I-that-I mean-no-that wasn't-"

Kakashi watched amusedly, hands in his pockets at his former student who wore a color on her face that strikingly resembled the color of her dress. Looking as normal as possible (or as normal as one can look when the only bit of visible surface of one's face was one's right eye), he simply drawled out, "Mistletoe, Sakura. It is a tradition for two people who happen to be under it to kiss. Although it is very sad to see that traditions are getting easily forgotten nowadays, especially in this modern world-"

"I know what the tradition is!" Sakura snapped, cutting him off, trying her best not to look too flustered. "But of all the people, why in the world-"

Something akin to small yelp escaped her mouth as Kakashi grabbed her wrist and spun her into his arms so quickly that she had no time to react and brought her to the dance floor again.

"I like this song, dance with me."


Neji barely had the time to let out the small bit of rage he felt in him when he saw Genma kissing his fiancée before she was swept into the arms of another man whom he deemed just as 'dangerous' as Genma. Okay, so small was an understatement. The large amount of rage that was rapidly building up in him when he saw her close her eyes and lean her head against Kakashi's chest.

Pushing through the crowd, he was about to approach them when a hand clapped his shoulder. Turning around with an annoyed look, he was surprised that another annoyed look countered his. One that belonged to Nara Shikamaru.

"Nara." He acknowledged with a nod of his head, wondering what the genius wanted from him. Neji watched as Shikamaru scratched the back of his head with one hand and coughed almost… nervously? The Hyuuga raised an eyebrow, just slightly.

"Er, sorry, wrong person," Shikamaru mumbled and before Neji could react, he had disappeared with a small poof. Neji frowned, it was unlikely Shikamaru would mistake a person, hell, any person for that matter. He was about to go off and confront Shikamaru about it when he remembered the reason he was caught up in the middle of hundreds of dancing bodies. Turning around, he cursed softly. Kakashi had danced Sakura to the other side of the dance floor. With much annoyance, he began to make his way through the throng of bodies once again.

"Thanks for the dance Sakura. I'll see you later." Kakashi released her and watched her smile.

"No, thank you sensei-"

For the second time that night, Sakura's sentence was cut off as Kakashi suddenly pulled her to him and crushed his mouth to hers in an incredible, mind-blowing kiss. Unable to register what had just happened to her, she stayed put and gawked at her former sensei. He winked at her in a familiar fashion which she recognized well and slipped away into the crowd. Mumbling incoherently to herself, she could still faintly taste his tongue on hers as she stumbled to make her way to the refreshment table, completely unaware of the many, many grinning faces looking in her direction.

She needed a drink. Badly.


"I told you, Anko-san, that I wasn't in charge of the last ANBU mission to the Mist," Neji said, exasperatedly as he pushed through the mass of shinobi, a grinning Anko trailing behind him.

"But Aburame told me that you were! He wouldn't lie about it," she pressed, thoroughly enjoying herself as she saw Neji go stiff at the sight of Kakashi kissing the daylights out of Sakura. It was all she could do to not fall to the floor and start to roll around laughing when on closer inspection, found that the ANBU vice-captain had shut off the rest of the world and was focusing solely on the kissing couple, an incredulous look on his handsome face.

Then, without a word, he stalked off quickly towards the now single Sakura now shakily making her way to the refreshment table.


"So Sakura, how's the night been for you so far?"

Sakura, who was in the midst of helping herself to a glass of fruit punch, paused to look at the source of the voice. She didn't complain when her paper cup was lifted out of her hands, filled up and then handed back to her. Smiling, she accepted it.

"Thank you Gai-san. It's been… interesting to say the least."

Giving her a smirk and flashing her his set of perfect, pearly whites he watched her finish up her drink and then bowed, offering his hand to her.

"This certain song brings me back to my competition days with Kakashi. Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?"

Not wanting to be rude, but at the same time slightly doubting Gai's dancing ability, Sakura agreed. In the blink of an eye, they were waltzing to a slow remix version of "Silent Night". She watched in awe as Gai consistently matched her steps perfectly, his face a mask of serious concentration.

"Wow, where'd you learn how to dance?" She heard herself blurt out.

"It has always prided me because it was my 89th victory against Kakashi. I still remember that day well, it was at the Fourth's birthday bash, and my God, he could really throw the mother of all birthday parties I tell you. Kakashi and I were merely young boys back then, not much older than you are now, but our competitive nature was always raging on…"

Smiling, she let him babble on with his story. Sakura curtseyed when the song ended.

Well, that was a delightfully normal dance…

"Thanks Gai-san. It was a pleasure dancing with you."

"And thank you Sakura-san! We shall definitely dance again in the future!"

As she turned around to find another partner, he called out to her.

"Oh, one more thing Sakura-san!"

"Yes?"

Her answer was a pair of thick lips ( dear God, they're as thick as his eyebrows! ) that planted themselves on her own. Startled, she opened her mouth to stutter a protest.

She decided that she wasn't sure if that was a good move, or a mistake a few seconds later after Gai had flashed her another trademark smile, pointed upwards like the last two men that had had a good taste of her, and walked off with a few other grinning jounins.

Oh. My. God. He kisses as good as Kakashi-sensei!


"Che!"

Neji didn't know how many times that curse word had left his mouth in the last hour but he couldn't be bothered. So far all his attempts to reach his future wife who just kept being swept into too many arms of too many men had been interrupted too many times.

His head spun with all the 'too many's. What the hell was going on tonight? Somehow he'd been distracted so many times by fellow shinobis, whether male or female that he was beginning to think he'd rather give up and just beat the shit out of all the men the following day. Then he decided against that. At this rate, if he let it go on Sakura would have snogged practically every single man in the building. Or, every single man in the building would have snogged her. Neji frowned angrily.

There was absolutely no way in hell he was going to let that happen.

Especially if it was going to be another old man.

He paled as he saw Morino Ibiki walk in Sakura's direction. Dammit, he wasn't going to let Ibiki touch her, even if the mere thought of it seemed too utterly ridiculous for him to comprehend at the moment. But with the night progressing as it was, who was he to tell what could possibly happen next?


"Ahahaha! Did you see his face when Gai kissed Sakura? It was priceless!" Ino squawked excitedly and accidentally spilled her cup of punch. She ignored it and continued to laugh, burying her head into Shikamaru's shoulder. The Nara made a disgruntled sound but let her and continued to sulk. He was still sore that Ino made him look like a complete idiot in front of Hyuuga Neji. I mean, come on, Nara Shikamaru, THE Nara Shikamaru mistake someone? He snorted and buried his head in his hands. He'd never hear the end of it from the Hyuuga when this was over.

Naruto, who had a hand draped around Hinata grinned. "Yeah, and before that with Kakashi-sensei and Genma. I'm never going to forget this. Tsunade-grandma really does have some evil ideas up her sleeves. Oh, quiet now, Jiraiya-hentai's done his part."

The four of them quieted down as a Sakura that looked as if her legs were made out of jelly wobbled over to them.

"H-Hey, pe-people," she stuttered out, and took a seat next to a grinning Ino.

"Hi Sakura-chan! You look like you've been having one helluva night!"

Turning to look at the cheerful Naruto, she shook her head.

"You have no idea Naruto! I mean, I've been kissed by practically every middle-aged man there is out there! Jiraiya-pervert being the first to overstep into the 'old' category!" she gasped out and buried her head in her hands. "Thank God Neji disappeared somewhere. I'd be worried sick if he was here to see all that."

At that point, Ino was ready to start scratching walls and laugh until she spilled her guts twelve miles across the floor.

Head snapping up suspiciously, Sakura cast a stern look over her friends. Usually Ino would be squealing in delight and poking at her for details, but the blonde looked as if she was going to have a major heart attack there and then.

"Is there something I should know here?" She crossed her arms and eyed all of them.

Three sets of eyes blinked at her atfairly pathetic attempts to immitateinnocent puppy eyes. Shikamaru pointedly ignored her.

"I think you're just being paranoid Sakura-chan. I mean, you can't deny the mistletoe tradition. Go get yourself another drink. Loosen up abit. Don't worry about Neji, he ain't even here to see all that."

Eyeing her best friend wearily, Sakura gave in and sighed.

"Naruto's right. I guess I really am being paranoid. Sorry guys. Be right back."

After she had made it a considerable distance away from them, all four let out a relieved breath of air that they were unaware they'd been holding in.

"Everything's going smoothly so far, wouldn't you say?" Naruto commented and looked at the big black clock on the wall. 9.30 pm. They still had a lot of time on their hands. It was going to be a long night for his Sakura-chan.


By 11.30 pm, Neji was ready to kill the next person who came up to block his view of his dancing fiancée. He had just managed to escape another confrontation with Ibiki.

He was partly relieved that Ibiki hadn't shown the least bit of interest in kissing Sakura, but instead fought back the annoyance from showing on his face when the interrogation shinobi invited him for half an hour's worth of safety tips and rules while on ANBU missions. For the life of him, Neji couldn't imagine why, of all people, Morino Ibiki who had absolutely no connection to ANBU missions would invite him to discuss rules for medic nins. After politely excusing himself, mumbling something about needing to go to the restroom, Neji quickly fled the table and didn't catch the smirk gracing Ibiki's hard features. When he was out of sight, the gruff shinobi took a swig of beer and chuckled.


By 11.30 pm, Sakura was ready to flop down in the middle of the dance floor and pass out. Every man she possibly knew had kissed her and even by a few whom she never even imagined would have ever done that to someone else's fiancée, especially the fiancée of one Hyuuga Neji.

She thought Jiraiya had been the last of it, after enduring (enjoying?) a kiss that nearly made her see stars, but shortly after, she found herself in the arms of Inuzuka Kiba. She'd dated him before Neji, but they broke off shortly after and maintained a comfortable friendship. A few minutes into their dance, he'd snorted, grabbed her chin and gave her a messy but satisfying (?) French. Then, he'd left her to blink stupidly at the mistletoe hovering above her head.

How many times can a girl wind up under a few berries?

Her list continued with Ebisu ( that arrogant bastard of a Jounin, she thought. He'd looked too damn pleased with himself when he saw her flush slightly ), Choji ( He'd been her most unexpected, when he approached her at the food table and politely pointed up at the innocent bit of berries dangling above them and gave her a shy, soft kiss on her peckers ), Hagane Kotetsu and his friend Izumo ( Both chuunins had grinned cheekily and commented that she'd grown A LOT from her little gennin self during her first chuunin exam after exchanging a hot kiss after another with her ), and ending with Konohamaru so far. She blushed as she remembered how the not-so-little Konohamaru had tricked her into bending down to tell her a 'secret' and instead gave her a big smooch on her cheek.

Man… a kiss on the cheek almost feels… foreign…

As she marveled at how it was possible that Konoha could be littered with so many kissing Gods ( ignoring the fact that most of them were, in fact the middle-aged men that Naruto considered 'old' ) she didn't realize that a presence had appeared behind her. In a nanosecond, she found herself tangled in the arms of a once-upon-a-time-Konoha sweetheart. Raven-haired and pale, he smirked arrogantly at her.

"Having fun?"

"Sa-Sasuke?"

Sakura managed to squeak out as leanly muscled arms folded themselves around her and pressed her into him.

"I thought you were still on a mission?"

"Ended earlier than we expected. Thought I'd come and have some fun," he shrugged and twirled her around carefully as if she were a fragile flower petal.

Returning his smirk with one of her own, she wrapped her arms around his neck and followed his body movements with ease. Dammit, it was almost midnight. She could enjoy herself if she wanted to, she thought. After all, the killjoy of a future husband of hers wasn't here to stop her. If he didn't want to have fun with her, she'd have fun by her own. Sasuke was as good a friend as Naruto was to her anyway. They were used to this kind of contact.

The clock struck 12.00 midnight, and immediately the music stopped playing. People stopped dancing and started to cheer and clap. Christmas greetings were heard everywhere.

Sasuke turned to a beaming Sakura.

"Merry Christmas Sasuke."

"Merry Christmas Sakura."

She stood on tip-toe to give him a peck on his lips. Her eyes widened when he held her in place, and proceeded to kiss her until colors exploded in her eyes. They were caught up in that position for a good three minutes when a loud shout forced them to break apart.

Neji had finally broken free of the headlock Naruto had held him in, and was storming towards them, a fierce scowl on his face.

"Get your hands of my woman Uchiha!"


Sasuke calmly and slowly removed his arms from around a madly flushed and pale Sakura.

"Hyuuga," he smirked, "I'm only following a tradition."

Neji's left hand twitched.

"Just so happens, there is nothing that indicates any tradition at all!" he snapped, and to prove his point, he looked at nothing but air above Sasuke.

Lifting an eyebrow, Sasuke looked up and then looked over at Naruto, Hinata, Ino and Shikamaru with mild surprise.

"Hey guys, I thought you said you were gonna set it up before he got here."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at four guilty looking faces.

"What's this all about?" She frowned and put her hands on her hips. Her eyes glinted dangerously and practically promised severe damage if an answer was not spit out at that moment.

"Ehehe…" Ino giggled nervously, a bunch of mistletoe berries gliding lazily over everyone's heads and coming to a stop on top of Sakura's, held on by an invisible line.

"We didn't expect him to get here so fast."

"That still does not answer her question."

Neji had made his way across and grabbed a glaring Sakura from her standing mother-hen position next to Sasuke. Blinking owlishly as powerful arms held her close to an equally strong and muscled body, she squeaked out, "Er, yeah… you guys better have a good answer!"

Naruto stepped forward, a hand scratching the back of his head as he gave a guilty chuckle.

"You see, it was kinda like a test for you, Sir Hyuuga." He made a mock bow, which had Sakura fighting to hold Neji's arms around her in place.

"We had to see if you really loved our Sakura-chan here, so we had this little plan to see how much you'd go through to get her outta' another mans arms," Ino piped up after him.

Sakura and Neji stared, dumbfounded at the array of grinning faces all around them.

"Everyone! Everyone here knew!" She shrieked at the circle of people all around her and Neji. Guilty murmurs of 'yes' and numerous coughs were heard all around the near-silent hall.

"Hinata-chan too?"

The Hyuuga heir blushed a bright red and nodded.

She gaped at them, not knowing if she was angry or touched that her two best friends had gone through all that for her benefit. Before she knew it, her knees gave way. Neji caught her and steadied her. Inwardly, he looked at his cousin with a slight awe.

Now who'd have thought…

"I don't care whatever stupid test or nonsense you went through all the trouble to plan," he grit out, ignoring the genuine protests of Naruto and Ino, "But from now on, no one else in this hall is to touch my fiancée, or risk having his neck broken. Is that understood?"

He turned around to glare at the grinning Kakashi, Genma, Gai and Jiraiya.

"And I'll be damned if another old man is going to kiss my woman," he told a numb Sakura in his arms.

He ignored the protests of the so-called old men that complained that they were merely middle-aged and not at Jiraiya level yet. Jiraiya's protest was by far the loudest amongst all the protests thrown at Neji.

"How sure are you that she doesn't think that any of them kiss better than you?" Naruto let out teasingly at Neji, daring him.

Neji's eyes narrowed and he turned Sakura around to face him. Then, shooting Naruto a cocky smirk, he replied, "Very sure, Uzumaki."

With that, he ferociously crushed his lips to Sakura's in a hungry, heated kiss. Sakura's eyes fluttered shut, and she melted in his arms as she returned his kiss with equal fervor and passion. Both of them closed their eyes and ignored the erupting claps and cheers from the rest of Konoha's residents.

He was right Naruto…

Sakura moaned softly and wrapped her arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss, his tongue dancing delicately with hers.

Neji's definitely the best.


In the meantime, Gai and Kakashi turned to a grinning Genma.

"Hate to admit it," said Gai.

"But we think you beat both of us," Kakashi continued.

Genma flashed them an arrogant grin. "Thanks guys. Damn, I knew I was good."

Gai and Kakashi exchanged funny looks.

"We didn't mean that. How the hell did you manage to kiss her without your blasted senbon poking right through the back of her neck?"