1
It was a Wednesday. Me and my mate Mike Setter were in the playground, near the flats where Mike lives. Slowly revolving on the creaky roundabout.
We would've been at school, but Mike was avoiding someone, and what sort of a best friend would I be, abandoning him to boredom all day? No, no; friends like us, we faced down the boredom together.
Mike yawned loudly. I had to fight to stifle one myself.
'Well', he said slowly,' this has to be better than Maths and then Science and then Games and all that crap'.
'We're certainly learning more', I said.
I was lain out across the roundabout. It was the sort that was just a large wheel on an axel- no handholds to get in the way. The sky slowly turned above me to the rhythm of Mike, as with every few seconds he pushed his leg against the ground, and the roundabout creaked and the sky revolved again.
'We're not learning squat!'
I snorted,' exactly'.
We elapsed into silence. Mike didn't know how hard it had been for me to bunk off. He could do it so easily- he had so much freedom. His mum left for work super-early (she was a nurse), leaving him to go to school- or not go to school, as he pleased. But with me, I had 24 hour surveillance. At the kid's home, we all went to school together, arriving in a special bus like a bunch of retards. Whoever the social worker driving us was, they always watched us into the gate, then drove away to drop off the little kids when they knew we were in the hands of the school authorities. I'd had to climb onto the bike sheds and jump the fence at first break. I'd found Mike at the playground where we always met, not best pleased. He'd been waiting there almost three hours. But I explained and he understood. He always understood, did Mike.
I became aware of the sky gradually slowing down. Finally it came to a creaking halt. I glanced at Mike. He looked frozen, staring across the playground at something I couldn't see.
'What's up?'
'It's him', whispered Mike,' Bannerman. Guy I'm avoiding. And his gang'.
I scrambled into sitting position. Now I thought of it, school was probably out by now. Not that Garth Bannerman usually went. Today he probably only went in to get at Mike. He'd had to sit through lessons- and he didn't even get to beat anyone up. He wasn't going to be best pleased.
'Oi! Setter!' he yelled,' been looking all over the place for you Setter. Where you been?'
We were in trouble- that much I knew. As the gang advanced towards us across the grey concrete no-man's-land of the play-park, I could almost smell their aggression. It seeped off them in waves, snaking around the swing-set and the sticky climbing frame, winding towards where we sat on the stationary roundabout.
Mike stood up.
'Yeah- what you want?'
I had to admire his bravery. There were four boys in the gang and they were all around fifteen or sixteen. If we ever let them get close enough they'd probably tower over us, certainly over Mike, who had always been small and runty, and looked about nine, even though he was twelve, going on thirteen.
I stood up too, if only to show Mike a little support. My stomach knotted as Garth Bannerman, the biggest and ugliest of them all, stepped forward.
'You pick a fight with my little brother you pick a fight with us'.
Oh. I realized now. The day before Mike had gotten into a fight with Bret Bannerman, right in the middle of the canteen. Apparently. All us from the home ate packed lunches, out on the field.
Mike snorted,' oh very noble. I don't suppose Bret happened to mention that he picked the fight and if he can't even win a fight with someone a head shorter than him, maybe he shouldn't point out the fact that I'm a head shorter than him'.
I couldn't help feeling that this sentence got away from Mike, but the impact was the same. Garth snarled and the gang stepped forward to join him.
'Very brave', sneered Mike,' can't take on a twelve-year-old without a bunch of mates with you. Though if they fight anything like your brother I don't really need to worry'.
I wasn't imagining it- I could smellthe anger and resentment and aggression. It stank like acid, over-powering the smell of old cigarettes and booze. I was almost choking on it.
'You asked for it Setter'.
In one clumsy movement Garth dove forward and grabbed Mike off the roundabout. Mike yelled and kicked at his shins as the older boy threw him to the ground.
'Hey!' I felt vicious anger lurch inside me as I leapt off the roundabout and went to Mike's side.
'Woah!' one of the kids was staring at me in horror,' what just happened to your eyes man?'
'Shuttup', snapped Garth. He aimed a kick at Mike's ribs, but missed and grazed his ear. Mike howled and struggled into a sitting position, fists flying randomly. As for me, I shoved Garth full in the chest.
'Hey- back off!' I yelled, right in his face.
Damn. I was in for it now. Believe it or not- he didn't back off.
He swore. Spat. Shoved a palm so hard into my ribs I was thrown right over Mike, tripping over him as I went and crashing down onto the unforgiving concrete. My head hit the ground with a nasty crack. The shock of it kept the pain at bay for a few seconds; then it came crashing down over me like a hot, splintering tidal wave, making me yelp.
Through vision that swam, I saw the gang laying into Mike, kicking him with doc-marten clad feet. He had screwed himself up into a ball, protecting his face with his arms. It was this, I think, that pushed me over the edge. I heard a snarl- didn't know where from- just as I shouted in rage. I leapt up, ready to start laying into them. But all instincts to punch and kick and shove were gone. Replacing them- were the instincts to scratch and bite. Curling my tail once around my paws and lashing it like a whip, I leapt at Garth, snarling like - well I had to face up to it- a wolf. A wolf. Even as I sank my teeth deep into the kid's arm, I was marvelling at the power that seemed to flow through me. I positively sang with it, rejoiced in it. As Garth screamed and stumbled back, away from me and Mike, the other kids already running, I felt a shudder of revulsion from the tip of my tail to the ends of my paws. His blood tasted foul- of what he'd been drinking and what he'd injected into it a few nights ago. I shuddered and spat, even as Garth stumbled, crying, out of the playground and into the concrete block of flats beyond.
I looked at Mike. Mike, who was on his knees now, staring into my furry face.
I cocked my head at him and tried to say something. Something like,' hell mate- how weird is this? I'm a wolf!' It came out as a series of growls and a few unthreatening snarls. Trouble is I don't think a human can tell the difference between an unthreatening snarl and an about-to-rip-your-throat-out snarl.
Mike whimpered.
'Please don't eat me', he snivelled, and a trickle of blood from the beating he'd just received ran out of his hair and down his forehead, nestling in his eyebrow.
I shook my head pointedly and wished I could say something comforting. Instead I put my heavy paw on his shoulder and licked the blood off, then stood back. I realized too late that this might be quite a threatening action from the point of view of Mike. But Mike didn't look freaked out. He looked like he was trying to work out a complicated maths problem.
He looked round and then back at me. And round again. And back at me.
'Mate… s'that you?'
I nodded vigorously.
'I wouldn't've believed it if someone else said but… I just saw it man, you tripped over me and hit the ground and when you come back up…'
Mike stared a little more.
'How- how'd you… do it?'
I shrugged. It felt weird, performing these human actions in a wolf body.
'Can you… go back?'
I frowned and tried. Trouble was I didn't know how I'd changed in the first place. After about ten seconds of intense human-y thoughts, I gave up. And shook my head.
'You mean you're stuck like this forever?'
I shook my head again. To be honest, I didn't know, but I wasn't worried about it. I had no desire to go back to being human just now. Everything felt wonderful like this- joyous; like I'd gotten out of a Fiat Multipla and into a Ferrari. My hearing- it was phenomenal. I seemed to pick up everything- scuffles and scurries in the shrubberies at the far end of the play-park; TV Sets in the flats above us; voices muted by distance or walls. And… scents. Wow- how much had those been amplified by? I could smell… Mike- most strongly. Mike's blood as it gathered again inside his cut. And… something good to eat wafting from the huge bins at the corner of the building. Something meaty. Bannerman's blood as well. It stank. And underlying it all was the scent of concrete and humans, sweat and cigarettes.
Admittedly my eyesight left much to be desired but I'd get used to that. For now, though, I wanted to explore. More than anything I wanted to get away from the overpowering human-stink of the concrete flats. Find some woodland… parkland even. Trouble was we lived right in the middle of the city. Woodland was hard to come by.
'Seriously man- you bit Bannerman. If he figures out it was you…'
I tried to convey my doubt of this ever happening, by flinging my arms- no, front legs- in the air. It didn't work that well and Mike retreated a few steps. I dipped my head in apology.
'Sorry', mumbled Mike,' …I just… I…'
Suddenley, his head snapped up, his eyes wide.
'You need to get out of here!'
I was shocked to smell the burst of panic that pulsed from him.
'Seriously- Bannerman's going to be calling someone! They put animals like you down for attacking humans! You need to run!'
I could see the truth in his words but I couldn't just leave him, not like this. I nudged his shoulder. I was trying to ask him whether he'd be alright and he seemed to understand.
'I'll be fine', he said,' but you won't be if you hang around much longer, mate. Just go. Run'.
I could see the truth in his words and I followed them. I ran.
Away from the flats, across a road onto the park and across the park, through a few trees over another road over a fence into a garden. Across the garden and into the next. They flashed beneath my swift paws like lights in a mirror- a few screams and faces displaying fear and shock and I was gone.
It was so exhilarating.
I felt like I was flying, and running so fast. It was such a rush- such a high. It felt so natural as well, as if I'd been born wolf, and been waiting inside that human form all this time, as if I'd only just broken free.
I had broken free.
With a whoop of excitement it hit me- there was nothing tying me to that grotty kid's home now. Even if I changed back, changed back into a boy, they would never track me down. If they got close I could change again and just run.
Provided I could change again.
As I crossed an A road, sending cars screaming and drivers twisting, some of the excitement left me. Being stuck as a wolf forever was bad. But whichever way I looked at it, being stuck as a human after I'd tasted this … that would be worse. Hell, even.
No. No- I would find a way. Take on another gang or something. Anything to raise that vicious spring of rage that had risen in me as I hit the tarmac.
I was now running through sparse woodland. The scent of the road was still thick in the air, buffeting up the embankment on the wind, following me, but getting fainter. It felt as if I was leaving everything human behind, as I pushed my legs to the limit, pushed them until the muscles howled and my tongue lolled, thirsty, in my mouth. But I didn't stop. The scent of the trees… drives me out of my head. I need to find somewhere, far away from the humanplace- humans scare me, not-prey, not-predator. Soft and fleshy and edible yet still dangerous. I run on and the woodland gets thicker and then all at once I emerge in a field and the human scent is everywhere- everywhere and I turn my tail North and I turn my nose South and I launch myself away, into the calming wild, deeper and deeper into the chilly Scottish wilderness.
Howling.
