Cherry Blossom: Okay, here's the deal. I've been really swamped with exams and school and I haven't had time to do Crappy Poem Theater. Believe me, I tried and it turned out rushed and crappy like. Soooooooo I recently discovered that THEY TOOK MY VERY FIRST MST OFF THE NET!!! This is the poem that started it all!! And you should all get the privilege (snicker) of reading it. So this is my cheap consolation to not having Crappy Poem Theater 9 out yet. I promise to have a really kick-ass session for Valentine's day. Complete with more hentai poems. I promise! On with the rehashed fic! Mwahahahahahahahhahaha!!!!
This is my first MST. So don't blame me if you hate it. Blame Matteo. I have no idea who Keith is except that he wrote a crappy poem and now I have to read it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-Boyz, dammit.
Poem lines are in italics.
Cherry Blossom is standing in a small, empty theater. She looks around and smirks in satisfaction.
Cherry Blossom: Yep. This should do it. Okay, now to fetch my 'guests'.
cheesy clap of thunder and flash of lightning—hey, what do you expect for $4.95?
G-Boyz: ::fall from the sky into the front row seats::
Heero: What the—
Duo: Hell—
Quatre: How did we—
Trowa: ???
Wufei: Wha—
Cherry Blossom: Hiyee guys! jumps into Wufei's lap
Wufei: Get off me onna!
Duo: Hey, it's Cherry. Hi Cherry! But what are we doing here? This isn't a lemon is it?
All G-Boyz look nervous and start to back away from Cherry Blossom.
Cherry Blossom: Nope. This is my homework assignment.
Heero: What?
Cherry Blossom: Yeah, I'm supposed to analyze some poems. You guys are going to help me.
Wufei: I do not read poems. It is un-manly.
Cherry B: You'll listen or you're going in the next Relena lemon.
Wufei: gulps
Quatre: I just love poetry readings!
Everybody else: o_O
Quatre: What?
Heero: Let's just get this over with. I've got better things to do.
Duo: Like what?
Heero: …..
Cherry B: Right. Here we go.
Dearest Andrea
Heero: Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that title.
Duo: Is this poem lemony fresh?
Cherry B: I don't think the writer has enough intelligence to write a lemon that rhymes.
Trowa: What rhymes with lemon?
Duo: Umm…nothing.
By Keith
Trowa: I have a feeling that we're going to be cursing the name Keith for a while.
You're beauty shines throughout the year
Duo: So…Andrea's a lamp?
Cherry B: More or less.
All things in you seem right
Trowa: :: in a creepy voice:: But things aren't always what they seem.
Everyone else: o_O
Trowa: What?
I've known no other like you dear
Got dreams for our delight
Heero: That line made no sense.
Cherry B: We know.
I have you always in my heart
Need not think I don't care
Wufei: But I don't care.
You know it too so let's make start
Duo: as cheezy children's craft show host Today, children, we are going to learn how to make start. All you need is 5 freshly tortured Gundam pilots, 1 slightly nauseated fanfic writer, and 1 extremely crappy poem.
Cherry Blossom: Check, check, annnnnnd double check!
Now while we've time to spare
Stand in stroll our garden lea
Quatre: What's a garden lea?
Trowa: How do you stand in stroll?
Wufei: Who really gives a sh—
Cherry Blossom: WUFEI!
Wufei: grumbles Weak onna.
By me, us hand in hand
Me for you, and you for me
Cherry B: Did anyone else think that the last line was redundant?
Heero: It was redundant.
Duo: Redundantly redundant.
Trowa: Okay, that's enough.
Dear, share what He hath planned
Duo: Wait a minute, who's this 'He' person.
Trowa: Maybe it's the writer.
Quatre: What does he have planned?
Duo: Well first he's gonna get her back to his place and then…
Cherry B: Don't.
Duo: But I—
Cherry B: Just don't.
For it will someday come to pass
We'll feel so much when won
Heero: Huh? You mean someone's going to win these two people?
Wufei: snorts Some prize. I pity whoever wins them.
Be everything for you my lass
Duo: fake scottish accent Aye, she's a bonnie wee lass, she is.
Everyone else: o_O
Duo: annoyed What?
Love's faith, hope, trust, as one
Then on that day of greeting
You will be heaven sent
Duo: gasp He's gonna kill her.
Everyone: Yay!
Shall we be with hearts meeting
Cherry B: I think that line is missing something.
Wufei: I think that last line is just crappy.
Cherry B: That too.
Hear now I will be Gent
Quatre: blinks Gent? I thought his name was Keith.
Duo: strikes dramatic pose Hear me now, Andrea. From this day forth you shall call me Gent.
Cherry B: sweatdrops Oookay.
So 'til I see your radient smile
Sweet twinklings in your eyes
Hear gentle, soft the words of I'll
Duo: The words of I'll?
Heero: The hell?
Cherry B: Does anyone else get the feeling that the writer just stuck this line in 'cause it rhymed?
Wufei: I get the feeling that I'm going to be sick.
Clear beauty's grace surprise
Everyone: stares blankly
Heero: I'm not even going to try and decipher that one.
God's love knows not A never
Trowa: Does that have anything to do with the rest of the poem?
Duo: No.
Trowa: Then why put it in?
Duo: 'Cause it rhymed, baka.
Wish you could see it too
Quatre: See what?
Cherry B: Just smile and nod, Quatre.
Quatre: But I—
Cherry B: Just smile and nod.
For now and yes forever
Us rests in words "I do"
Trowa: Either they're getting married or committing suicide.
Wufei: I vote for the second one.
THE END
Heero: The torment has ended!
Wufei: Thank God.
Duo: Your welcome.
Wufei: Not you.
Duo: pouts
Trowa: That was such a stupid poem.
Heero: I believe the word you're looking for, Trowa, is crap.
Quatre: Oh, I don't know. At least it rhymed.
Duo: I can't believe your English teacher made you read that.
Cherry B: Blame Keith. He's the one who wrote it.
Duo: Keith must die!
Heero: pulls gun out of spandex space Mission accepted.
G-Boyz get out of their seats
Cherry B: Hey wait! I've still got three more crappy poems for you to analyze.
Boyz: stare
Duo: Cherry must die!
Heero: points gun at her Mission accepted.
Cherry B: Uh, on second thought, I guess we could forget about the other poems. Hey wait, why am I scared of you? I'm the author. shows off her supreme power by putting the G-Boyz in tights and frilly pink tutus
Duo: The hell?
Wufei: INJUSTICE!
Heero: Omeo wo korosu.
Trowa: nosebleeds at the sight of Quatre in tights
Quatre: Ooohh, pretty.
Everyone else: o_O
Quatre: What?
Well that was a trip. Poor G-Boyz. Review or suffer more poems from Keith.
