The Brighter side of suffering
By:amayahitomi
Genre: Angst
Unviverse:Bleach
Spoilers: I saw about 4 episodes, all I knoew comes from zaxel and wikipedia. No spoilers
Warnings: A/U, Slash, Angst
A/N: No longer for Zaxel, the sequel to Infected. It's for Aslyn-san, though she won't read it. Please comment. Huggles!
Chapter one
I swear that if I could
I'd take it all
I know I shouldn't. But the feeling of his hands on my body just makes me weak in the knees. It makes me quiver in aching need. Need that Renji just didn't instill in my body. Sure what Renji did to me was exquisite, but nothing could be as tantalizingly delicious as the sweet, soft, and careful fucking that came from Grimjow. You'd never guess that this arrancar could give passion a soft touch but he was slow, painfully so in his ministrations.
take it all away
all the sorrow and the pain
I can feel his lips as he traces the scar painfully littering my body. His hands are cold just like Renji's. But his eyes are what set him apart from the red haired shinigami. His eyes are pure black dots outlined in bright blue. They are dilated with pure lust. They were like ice swirling with desire. While Renji's were like fire burning every piece of my core, these were freezing and I'm not sure which I like more. My eyes catch movement. In this abandoned building I thought was empty. I can see Red eyes narrow. My heart skips a beat but I cannot stop the wonderful feelings on my body.
i'm not responsible
you always say
I toss my head back in a groan. Grimjow's feathery touch ghosting over my abdomen sending anticipated shivers down my spine. My eyes are drawn back to the red ones. They were slits, narrow with hate. Burning with hate. Hating everything I'm doing. Every gasp, every moan. He hates them, I can't blame him either. I'd hate them too if I was in his shoes.
but
you need your space
and this always ends the same
I don't want Grimjow to stop, I clutch his blue hair and hold him in place shivers run down my spin. His name is ripped from my throat no matter how much I so don't want it to. I don't want renji to hear the desperation in my voice, the pleading. The last thing I need is for Renji to hear the anxiety in my voice. I turned down his offer to play, just thirty minutes ago, in my rush to meet Grimjow here. I told him I needed air, it was innocent, and true the air that was pulsing it's way through my lungs gave me a sort of clear headedness, but it far from innocent. My eyes wandered over to where my tattooed lover stood, his eyes met mine, they promised punishment, the promised pain. I wasn't sure whether to feel worried or horny, I settled for a calm median, anticipatory.
hey, is your heart still beating?
I can't stop
the bleeding
I've lost you completely
When I arrive to the place I call home. The place Renji and me shared. I shiver as I pass our room, memories and ghostly pain run rampant through me. I can hear the water running in the bathroom. I walk towards it, it was the shower. Trust Renji to assuage all his feelings in a shower. I want heartily to go in there, be gathered into his arms, and brutally pounded into tile. I know that that will not be an option tonight. If ever. So I just sat, sat and waited to incur the wrath of a spiteful shinigami. I wasn't let down. He walked out, hair deep as the blood he loved so much, dripping with water. He was wrapped in a towel, Red also. He didn't even spare me a glance. It hurt. I followed him to the bedroom and watched his tattooed form disappear into clothes. I was itching to say something, anything, but witty retorts were lost, lost in the anticipation of waiting for his reaction.
SLAM!
I wince something pitiful. Even though the book didn't hit me it passed so close to my ear it might as well have. Another book came flying somewhere near my head. A hakama soon whizzed pass me too, more to follow. Various articles of clothing, and most of my belongings were being thrown at me. The next thing surprised me the most.
"Go" He muttered so softly I had to strain to hear it. I feel as if a large weight had been placed upon me. I want to crumple to my knees, my own stubborn being the only thing holding me up. It was the most painful thing imagined. He told me to leave. It was worse than every pain he's ever inflicted on me, and he knew it too.
hey, gather all the
heartache
I'll hold it in my hand
just to lose it all again
I wander around, not really paying attention to where I'm going. I can't feel anything. I'm so numbed. Never in my escapades with Grimjow had I ever though that it would end my life with Renji, I didn't even expect to get caught. But here I am homeless. Here I am alone.
-end-
