I wish I never saw the sunshine.
Disclaimer : Song is Wish I never saw the sunshine by Beth Orton. GW and its characters copyright to Bandai./i
Baby do you know what you did today?
Baby do you know what you took away?
You took the blue out of the sky, My whole life changed when you said goodbye.
And I keep crying... Crying... Ooh baby... Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh baby...
I wish I never saw the sunshine, I wish I never saw the sunshine and if I never saw the sunshine baby then maybe I wouldn't mind the rain."
All those years sleeping beside you, feeling your body pressed up against me, listening to you breath seem so far away. 5 day, 6 hours and 23 minutes ago you walked out the door, taking the last piece of my heart with you. And all I can do is sit here, pretending its all just some bad dream and I'll wake up to your arms around me. Feel safe again.
I always wondered why you stayed by my side for all those months, and you always simply replied "Because I love you." and kissed me, comforting me with your words and your sweet mouth. Exactly 2 years after we met you proposed. On top of one of Earths tallest buildings under the stars, you asked me to share your life with me. To be with you forever, stay by your side through everything. I promised that I would be with you forever, Quatre... I thought promises meant something. They did once...
You wanted to have the wedding in a few years time rather than right away. You had everything planned, black and white theme, with red roses for the flowers. There were so many little details to plan you even hired one of your sisters to handle the fine details, and ensure the date was exactly what you wanted. You asked me a few times about the details, but all I wanted was to be by your side, and stand with the man I loved. I guess you had other ideas... The wedding was supposed to be next week. You were supposed to wear all white, and I all black, but I guess that will never happen now.
During the war I had a little problem... Cutting I called it. You hated it, threatening to leave if I ever did it again. I did all I could and managed to repress it for you, to stay by your side. I look down at my arms, covered with bandages. I didn't last an hour before taking a blade to them, making short, deep gashes all the way down. I haven't bothered to clean them, just cover them. I don't care about infection. I just needed to feel something, something other than emptiness.
I've not eaten since you left, but I've drunk plenty. Vodka, beer, wine, everything I could get. My head is pounding and my stomach heaving as I take another gulp. Anything to dull the excruciating emptiness you left behind and drown out those final parting words... "I don't love you any more. I'm not sure I ever did." The tears have stopped now. I twist the gold band on my finger, toying with the idea of removing it, of throwing it into the sewers, or giving it away. I wont though. I'll hold on to it until the end of time, as a reminder of the happiness I once had and the love I once felt.
Gazing round I see the mess I have made. When you walked out, all you took was a suitcase of clothes and your bichon frise. I swear you love that dog more than me. I bought him for you as an anniversary present. We'd been together for 4 years and you'd always loved animals, so he seemed like the perfect gift – and from the way you reacted I knew id made the right choice. He was small enough that you could take him anywhere with you and he did go everywhere with you. Even in the papers you were always seen with your little dog even more often then I was pictured by your side. In the end you even chose him over me... I wish I was that dog...
I cant do this any more. I cant live without you. You're my everything. I wish I had never known happiness, known what it was like to be loved and needed. Then maybe this wouldn't hurt so damn much... I give the ring one final kiss. It wont hurt much longer though... Forever ended when you left me, when you said goodbye... I don't have to hold on any more... My golden haired angel, I love you... This is my final goodbye...
Ooh baby... Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh baby...
I wish I never saw the sunshine, I wish I never saw the sunshine and if I never saw the sunshine baby then maybe I wouldn't mind the rain.
