While I think of ideas for my Naruto story, here is some lovely Warriors crack for those who love cats who are high! :DDD

These oneshots may contain spoilers up to Omen of the Stars #2.


1. I don't like my name!


"You shall now be known as Firepaw."

Firepaw stared at Bluestar in disbelief, who stared back questioningly.

"Any problems, Firepaw?"

"Yes, one actually."

Bluestar nodded at him to speak.

"WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT!"

The entire camp stared up at the Highrock in shock.

After what seemed a few moons of silence, Bluestar spoke.

"You don't like your name...?"

"NO!" wailed Firepaw. "You said you were impressed by my... Courageous-ness! And now I'm named after fire! Fa-yar! The crap that burns your paws if you touch it and turns your fur black! I DEMAND A LAWYER!"

"...What the Starclan is a luwwer?" yowled a tom from below the Highrock.

"What's a cwap? Sounds tasty!" meowed another.

"NOT TALKIN' TO YOU!" screeched Firepaw.

Lionheart hesitantly crept up onto the Highrock next to Bluestar when Firepaw was busy screaming at the other cats.

"Bluestar, I'm not sure if this kit is entirely sane." he whispered.

Bluestar shook her head.

"He was fine just now. Maybe he just needs to get used to the forest. Have patience."

Lionheart sighed. "I hope you're right."

"-OUTTA HERE! IF YOU WANNA FIGHT, YOU GOT ONE!" wailed Firepaw.

"But the Twolegs may have given him something unhealthy to eat..." mumbled Lionheart.

Firepaw then proceeded to leap from the Highrock and tackle Longtail. The tom was obviously unprepared for the attack. Cats parted to allow them space to fight.

But the whole Clan was unprepared when Firepaw 'accidentally' slashed Longtail's throat.

Blood gushed from the wound as Longtail gurgled, then stopped moving.

All the cats then turned to Firepaw.

"Oopsies!"

Lionheart then proceeded to look at Bluestar again. "Now...?"

"...I never really liked Longtail anyways. Spottedleaf, please check Firepaw for any injuries."

A tortoiseshell she-cat appeared and quietly told Firepaw to go into the medicine den.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Then suddenly, a young black tom raced straight into camp, and flopped onto the ground.

A muscular brown tom soon followed, carrying a dead cat in his jaws.

Bluestar looked surprised for the first time that day.

"Ravenpaw? Tigerclaw? Is... Is that Redtail..? What's going on?"


So yeah! YAY! I let off some steam.