„I know." He replied pretending he is not hearing tone of your voice.
„So?"
„You need me."
You sighed and just turned your head from him, gently putting it on your left knee, as your right leg was slowly but steadily swinging over the empty space. You were sitting on one of the rooftops in Seireitei and watching the stars. For the 15th time this month, if you counted right. Place that usually nobody visited at night as it was on the very edge, just next to the great wall.
"I think I wanna be alone."
"I don't think you do."
"Do you have an answer to everything I say? Can't you just keep your mouth shut for once?" you snapped at him and instantly regret it. He was only trying to help, you knew that, but nevertheless you really didn't want his, or anyone's at that matter, company. "Im sorry Ryou." His reiatsu was hidden, as yours, so you couldn't read any emotions from it, but you had very good guess he didn't take it lightly. "I really am." Starts were looking so bright tonight. 'I could almost touch them.' After a moment of silence, something furry grazed at your lower hand, and you knew he forgive you.
"Tell me what is bothering you?"
"I don't really want to." 'Do I?' Quick glance to Ryou's direction and you saw his green eyes firmly looking at you, and as few times before you knew he wouldn't leave before you tell him what is on your mind. "You really know to be pain in the ass sometimes." You whined a little. "I don't know what's exactly wrong Ryou." Sigh left your mouth as you close your eyes for an instant. "But I feel.." 'How do I feel exactly?' "I snapped at Renji today again. Big time."
"Did he do something to you?"
"No, he was just being regular self. But I couldn't stand it, I couldn't stand one more joke on my account. I said some really mean things to him." Guilt that was following you whole day started to cause headache. "But he hit in spot he shouldn't." you added quickly to justify what you have done but Ryou didn't need that, he knew you well enough.
"If you know you're wrong, why don't you go and apologize?"
"I don't think-"
"Just go there first thing in the morning and explain how you feel."
"I don't think he will forgive me. I really stepped the line, and he must be sick and tired of me yelling at him. I really fucked up this time. And while we're at it" quiet giggle left your lips as picture started to form in your head. "I doubt that his captain would be happy to see me there." 'Me? Who is that anyway? That Ukitake's lieutenant… What's her name…' Thing Ryou and you didn't see is that Byakuya was behind the corner listening to you two. First impulse he has when he heard your voice was to just continue walking, but you mentioned Renji and for some to him unknown reason he stop to listen. As he was taking long walk home this night and didn't want to be disturbed by anyone he did the same thing as you with this reiatsu so there was no way for you two to notice he was there.

"You can't keep going like this Kiyomi."

"Like what? I'm just fine Ryou." You laughed at loud, somehow forcing happy face and smile out of you, even you didn't know where you got the strength to do that. "I'm just fine." One more quick giggle and repeating the line to make yourself believe it.
'Oh yes. Sasake Kiyomi.' For some reason Byakuya knew the way you laugh. Probably from time you spent with Renji in their barracks, but what was bothering him now is why he knew that. Why does he know the sound of your laughter?

"Stop that crap once and for all. You acting and false smile doesn't work on me. You should have realized that long time ago." 'But who is that?' cold voice was talking to you, cold and empty but in a way still encouraging and fulfilling every word he said.

"I know." You admitted unwillingly, "But sure as hell works on other people."
"Like who?" sarcasm was flowing from Ryou.
"Like… Well, all the other people."
"That's not true." Your head spin to him. "Look for example Renji, whom you insulted today-"
"Thanks for the reminder." You murmured.
"He usually realizes what you are doing but pretends he doesn't see it. Like you do for him when he is having really bad day, you just let him keep his 'happy face' on with no questions."
"But-"
"And don't say to me he doesn't do that. I know cause you know, cause you saw, just don't want to admit it to yourself." You kept quiet and turn your glare back to the stars. This conversation didn't make you feel any better at all. Silence took place for a while, and next time Ryou grazed upon your hand as a sing to speak further you just bluntly say what was on your mind in that moment.
"I wish I was more like Kuchiki-taichou." Picture of his cold eyes and never changing attitude towards everything allured little smile. "He keeps his thoughts in line and doesn't make a fool of himself every time he speaks. He wouldn't do that to Renji." You finished softly as Ryou replied that instant.
"You want to be like him? If he doesn't show his feeling it doesn't mean he doesn't have them. Who knows what is going on in his life, or thoughts, as he never speaks to anyone about it. Don't fool yourself, Kiyomi, that man has his cross to bear, and from where I stand, it is a big one." Byakuya already stepped out to say something, to ask why you talk about him behind his back, to ask for simple explanation, maybe punishment, but something in Ryou's words stopped him. Something in his voice, so clear and simple. So true maybe.

You shrugged a little still not looking at Ryou and continued with thick pinch of pain in your stomach. "Maybe you're right but even if that is the case, he has a perfect mask. I don't know, Ryou. I don't know anything anymore. I feel lost. I…" wind was playing with your hair and you pulled your hands little more into already to big sleeves. "I don't know what do to. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore."
"Cause of Kiyoshi?"
"Maybe." Your eyes were still admiring the sky without any usual habit of searching your surroundings. "Forget it, ill be just fine tomorrow. It was a long day." In next moment you were standing on the edge of that roof looking over Seireitei. "And you shouldn't come out anymore if I don't ask you." Cold voice was still softened with undertone of thanking him for being here tonight. Yes, Ryou was right, you needed someone by your side, and one of your big problems was that you couldn't admit it to anyone.
"Just promise me you'll apologize to Renji in the morning."
"Don't bother me Ryou. Seriously." 'Apologize? But how? What to say so I can undo things I've said?'
Next thing Byakuya heard was Ryou's icy voice. "I wont leave until you promise. You know its for your own good." 'Who is that man? And why am I standing here and listening to them?' His pride and common sense started to work again and if he could he would curse out loud his foolishness of this past few moments. He was above that. He was noble and Taichou of one of the Divisions, it was nothing like him to do this. As he stepped behind the corner to continue his earlier broken walk home, young shinigami appeared few steps in front of him. Her long dark hair followed body movement as she alight with one knee and hand on the ground. In second she gracefully stood up, and something small jumped to her arms. "I promise then Ryou. And thank you." As she walked away from him still unaware of his presence, Byakuya was sure, it was lieutenant of 13th squad, Sasake Kiyomi.